feel like talking, and the tone of the meetings is as varied as the people who
choose to attend. Group consensus rules in all things, so in any good-size
city
there are smoking meetings and nonsmoking meetings, meetings for early risers
and for night owls, meetings mostly populated by long-timers and meetings more
oriented to the newly sober.
The 12 Steps and decentralized structure have proved so effective and popular
that other groups have copied the template for dealing with other problems:
Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and so forth.
But
AA has never branched out. Getting and staying sober has been labor enough.
Unlike many spiritual visionaries, Wilson came to understand "that when he
heard
the voice of God, it was often just the voice of Bill Wilson," as Cheever puts
it. And so, in the now-famous catechism that he created, AA members are
pledged
simply to turn their will and lives over to "the care of God as we understood
him," with italics right there in the Big Book. Prospective converts are often
assured that they may take as their God the nearest radiator if that's what
works for them. Almighty God with the white beard, or a gentle breeze in the
treetops, or the sublime engineering of a molecule, or the vastness of space,
or
the love of friends, or the power of the AA meeting itself: Choose your own
Infinite.
Whatever works.
In the can-do land of the bottom line, even our spirituality tends to be
results-oriented.
But the language of AA plays provocatively with a simple word: "work." In one
sense, sobriety is something that just happens, much like Wilson's great clean
wind. It is a gift from the Higher Power to the alcoholic. At the same time,
"work" means work, as in tangible, sometimes even grudging, effort. In the
early
days, Bill W. and Dr. Bob would sit in the Smith parlor refining their
drunk-saving techniques, and often Smith's wife, Anne, read aloud from the
Bible. They were partial to the Epistle of James, which reminded them that
"faith without works is dead." AA members speak of "working the steps," and
many
meetings end with the affirmation that "it works if you work it."
This means returning again and again to the state of mind and the exercises
that
constitute the upkeep on each miracle of sobriety. Beginning with the
admission
that they are powerless over alcohol and continuing through labors of
humility,
repentance, meditation and service, AA members maintain the dam that holds
back
the obliterating tide of booze from their lives.
A Friend of Bill W.
Cheever is a forthright woman with a big laugh and no immediately obvious
illusions, a hard-working writer who publishes books like clockwork, pens a
column for Newsday and teaches at Bennington College. She decided to write
about
Wilson because "I loved him. I loved how he changed the world without knowing
it, just as a way to stop drinking himself. I loved his Yankeeness," by which
she seems to mean a range of qualities, from the Emersonian flinty optimism,
to
the unsentimental practicality, to the hovering dark clouds and the weirdo
seances, which she calls his "table-tapping after dark."
No doubt she also loved Wilson for the fact that his miracle, worked and
reworked through the long chain of drunks, touched her own family, late in the
life of her father, the short-story artist John Cheever. Booze was the
lubricant
of Cheever's masterpieces. He was the poet laureate of postwar suburbia, in
which hope, striving, lust and angst were all refracted through the bottom of
a
cocktail glass.
But what was symbol and atmosphere in his stories was toxic in John Cheever's
life, as his daughter explained in her acclaimed memoirs "Home Before Dark,"
and
booze washed into Susan Cheever's life as well. In her book "Note Found in a
Bottle," she recalls learning to mix a martini by the age of 6, and doing
plenty
of drinking as an adult. Susan Cheever now speaks of her father's AA years as
an
amazing gift to the whole family, not a gift of bliss so much as a gift of
simple reality. When a drunk enters the unreal world of his illness, he takes
his family and friends with him.
Her homage to the family benefactor is pro-Wilson but not hagiographic. "I
like
to take saints and make them into people," she explains. She touches the
spiritual bases in her portrait of Wilson, but seems more moved by the
concrete
elements. Over lunch at a Manhattan bistro, she recalls her first visit to
Wilson's boyhood home in East Dorset, Vt., not far from the Bennington campus.
Cheever noticed the low ceiling of the stairway leading to Wilson's room, and
caught a glimpse in her mind's eyes, so to speak, of the gangly boy having to
duck his head each time he passed.
"And I was him," for that moment, she says. "I understood what it was to be a
depressed 10-year-old boy trapped in that house" after his parents had
abandoned
him to his remote and austere grandparents.
It's not easy making a spiritual figure compelling and real without slipping
into iconoclasm. Cheever's approach is to apply a writerly version of Wilson's
humility. She gets the goods on his serial adultery, for instance, but
declines
to make too much of it. "He was engaged to Lois when he was 18 -- hello!"
Cheever says. "They were married 53 years. All we really know is that they
were
friends through an amazing life. He was a good-enough husband."
Likewise, she can look into Wilson's LSD experiment with proto-hippie Aldous
Huxley without getting mired in a puritanical inquisition into whether this
constituted a "slip" in his sobriety or hypocrisy in his creed.
This attitude allows Cheever to see that Wilson's inconsistencies and quirks
weren't blemishes on his record -- they were the essence of a flawed man who
was
endlessly seeking what works. "Again and again, his intuitions were wrong,"
Cheever says. "But he wasn't interested in problems. He was interested in
solutions." Most of the key traditions of AA operations, including its
independence, anonymity and governance-by-consensus, ran counter to Wilson's
personal disposition. "He wanted fame and fortune, but somehow was able to
figure out that AA would have to be a group in which nobody represents it,
nobody speaks for it and nobody's in charge of it."
Sobering Reality
The striking thing about Wilson's story -- which only settles in upon
reflection
-- is how hard his life was even after he sobered up.
What, really, had that bright light and clean wind changed? He and Lois
remained
penniless, even homeless, for years. Sometimes it seemed that AA was
determined
to keep him poor forever. He had a chance to cash in by allying his message
with
a particular hospital, but his fledgling flock forbade him to do it. He
harbored
hope that John D. Rockefeller Jr. would lavish money on him, but instead
Rockefeller came through with a tiny stipend. Alcoholics Anonymous struggled
for
six long and underwhelming years before catching its crucial break: a glowing
article in the Saturday Evening Post.
Then, as the group flourished, Wilson was attacked by jealous colleagues and
abandoned by old friends. He sank into a crushing depression, and "often just
sat for hours with his head on the desk or with his head in his hands,"
Cheever
writes. "When he raised his head, he was sometimes weeping." Wilson liked
children but was childless. Cigarettes were killing him but he couldn't stop
smoking.
He wrote of "being swamped with guilt and self-loathing . . . often getting a
misshapen and painful pleasure out of it."
It was enough to drive a man to drink.
Yet for 36-plus years of this troubled and very human life, he was able to
resist that next drink. Perhaps the most efficacious miracles are the small
ones. And because "his mind was the right lens" and his will was "the right
machine," in Cheever's words, for mass-producing that limited but crucial
victory, Bill Wilson's miracle keeps working, one person and one day at a
time.
© 2004 The Washington Post Company
Of Alcoholics Anonymous founder Bill Wilson, Cheever says, "He changed the
world
without knowing it, just as a way to stop drinking himself." (Helayne Seidman
For The Washington Post)
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++++Message 1785. . . . . . . . . . . . One Solitary Voice by Jack B...any
info.?
From: wbmscm . . . . . . . . . . . . 5/4/2004 6:43:00 PM
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Does anyone have any information on a gentlemen by the name of Jack
B. who wrote a publication called "One Solitary Voice"?
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++++Message 1786. . . . . . . . . . . . Re: One Page At A Time (2004)
From: Arthur Sheehan . . . . . . . . . . . . 5/6/2004 10:40:00 AM
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I found Cheever's book to be a big disappointment - not based its so-called
"revelations" but from numerous factual errors in the material. Having read
most of the books cited in its bibliography, I don't get the sense Cheever
studied them very thoroughly. The book is acclaimed to be well researched but
I don't get a sense that it measures up to those claims. I'm somewhat tempted
to develop an itemized list of its errors (they are not trivial).
Outside of revealing a letter from Bill that his first drink was a beer (a few
weeks or so before drinking a Bronx cocktail) I didn't see anything that
hadn't appeared elsewhere. In regards to Bill asking for whiskey on his death
bed, the delirious comments of a dying man should not be projected as being
representative of anything other than the delirious comments of a dying man.
Regrettably there are those who persist in wanting to elevate Bill to demigod
status and deprive him of his human fallibility. All things considered,
despite his infidelities, séances, LSD, niacin, smoking himself to death,
etc., etc., Bill's shortcomings do not need to be either rationalized or
vilified. Bill left a priceless legacy of recovery, unity and service that has
saved the lives of countless millions since 1935. That legacy gets obscured by
what seems to be a disturbing and ever-increasing trend these days to churn
out titillating exposés and editorials masquerading as well-researched
biographies.
Arthur
----- Original Message -----
From: Lash, William (Bill)
Sent: Tuesday, May 04, 2004 5:25 PM
Subject: [AAHistoryLovers] One Page At A Time (2004)
One Page At a Time
Susan Cheever's Chilling Glimpse of AA's Tormented 'Saint'
By David Von Drehle
Washington Post Staff Writer
Monday, May 3, 2004; Page C01
During her research for a biography of Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill
Wilson, author Susan Cheever dug through the just-opened archives at
Stepping
Stones, Wilson's longtime home outside New York City. Alongside an
archivist,
she sifted reams of material that had not been looked at in decades.
One day, the archivist handed her a sheaf of wide, green-lined pages --
hourly
logs kept by the nurses who tended Wilson on his deathbed.
Cheever glanced at them. They seemed mundane.
"Keep reading," the archivist urged her.
Cheever came to the pages covering Christmas 1970. On the eve of the
holiday,
Bill Wilson passed a fitful night. A lifelong smoker, he had been fighting
emphysema for years, and now he was losing the battle. Nurse James
Dannenberg
was on duty in the last hour before dawn. At 6:10 a.m. on Christmas morning,
according to Dannenberg's notes, the man who sobered up millions "asked for
three shots of whiskey."
He was quite upset when he didn't get them, Cheever writes.
Wilson asked for booze again about a week later, on Jan. 2, 1971.
And on Jan. 8.
And on Jan. 14.
"My blood ran cold," Cheever said recently of the discovery. "I was shocked
and
horrified." With time to ponder, though, she found herself thinking, "Of
course
he wanted a drink. He was the one who talked about sobriety being 'a daily
remission.' I realized that this was a story about the power of alcohol:
that
even Bill Wilson, the man who invented sobriety, who had 30-plus years
sober,
still wanted a drink."
In the Big Book, as AA's foundation text is known, Wilson recalled the time
in
1934 when doctors concluded that he was a hopeless drunk and told his wife
that
there was no cure, apart from the asylum or the grave. "They did not need to
tell me," he added. "I knew, and almost welcomed the idea."
On Jan. 24, 1971, the man known modestly to legions of alcoholics as "Bill
W."
was finally cured.
Powerless Over Alcohol
Cheever's discovery, reported in her book "My Name Is Bill," doesn't really
change what little we know about alcoholism, a cruel, confounding and
mysterious
disease. It doesn't really change what we know about Wilson, a rough-hewn
and
unorthodox American saint sketched by Cheever in all his chain-smoking,
womanizing, Ouija-board-reading, acid-tripping holiness.
But it might change, at least a bit, the way some of us think about miracles
--
the shelf life of miracles, the limited warranty they carry, and how
high-maintenance they are. Miracles come in Bill Wilson's story, but always
with
strings attached. They are a bequest -- but not like an annuity that pays
out
endlessly and effortlessly. More like an old mansion, precious and
beautiful,
but demanding endless, unglamorous upkeep.
The miracle of Wilson's sobriety -- and the birth of AA -- arrived like
something out of the Old Testament. It was 1934, late in the year, when the
doctors had given up on Bill. Booze, which once put its arm around his
shoulder,
now had its jaws around his throat. A smart, handsome, charming man, Wilson
had
become the kind of drunk who could set off one morning to play golf and
awaken a
day later outside his house, unsure how he got there, with his head bleeding
mysteriously and his unused clubs still at his side. "The more he decided
not to
drink," Cheever writes, "the more irresistible drink seemed to become."
So for the third time, Wilson checked himself into a private hospital in New
York that specialized in drying out "rum hounds," as he called himself. He
knew
what to expect: doses of barbiturates, assorted bitter herbs, castor oil and
other purgatives, vomiting, tremors and depression. He also knew it probably
would not work, that just about every hard case like him went back to
drinking
after being discharged.
The prospect was so dismal that Wilson picked up a few bottles of beer for
the
cab ride.
Wilson had a friend named Ebby Thatcher, another alcoholic, who had a friend
named Roland Hazard, yet another drunk, who was wealthy enough to seek help
from
the eminent psychiatrist Carl Jung in Switzerland. When Jung realized how
serious Hazard's drinking problem was, he told his patient that the only
hope
was a religious conversion -- in Jung's experience, nothing else worked. The
American psychologist William James had arrived at a similar conclusion,
declaring in "The Varieties of Religious Experience" that "the only cure for
dipsomania is religiomania."
Well, by God, Hazard got religion and sobered up, for a while. He preached
this
approach to Thatcher, and Thatcher in turn proselytized Wilson.
"I was in favor of practically everything he had to say except one thing,"
Wilson later recalled of his conversations with Thatcher. "I was not in
favor of
God."
After a couple of days at Towns Hospital, Bill Wilson was past the d.t.'s
and
feeling really low. Science could do nothing for him. He now realized that
he
couldn't kick the booze by himself. Yet he was unable to believe in the only
power experts knew of to save a drunk.
Then:
"Like a child crying out in the dark, I said, 'If there is a Father, if
there is
a God, will he show himself?' And the place lit up in a great glare, a
wondrous
white light. Then I began to have images, in the mind's eyes, so to speak,
and
one came in which I seemed to see myself standing on a mountain and a great
clean wind was blowing, and this blowing at first went around and then it
seemed
to go through me. And then the ecstasy redoubled and I found myself
exclaiming,
'I am a free man! So this is the God of the preachers!' And little by little
the
ecstasy subsided and I found myself in a new world of consciousness."
Wilson never had another drink.
Carry This Message
Brimming with vision and new consciousness, Wilson blew back into the
familiar
world as if everything had changed -- not just for him, but for all of
creation.
He bragged that he was going to save every drunk in the world. He went
scavenging for men to preach to, finding them in missions and hospitals and
jails and among his own drinking buddies. Some of his targets thought he
sounded
an awful lot like the Bible-brandishing temperance ladies he had rebelled
against as a young man. He discovered that many alcoholics were "not in
favor of
God" -- God was an authority figure and drunks don't deal well with
authority.
"This doesn't work," he despaired to his wife, Lois. She reminded him that
he
was keeping at least one drunk sober -- himself.
But within months, even that project was at risk. Having been blinded like
Saul
on the road to Damascus, he now had his sight back and -- as often happens
to
the miraculously enlightened -- was discovering little by little that he was
much the same as before.
Tempted while on a business trip in Akron, Ohio, Wilson fought off the
bottle by
cold-calling churches from the hotel directory in search of a drunk to help.
One
call led him to an alcoholic surgeon named Bob Smith. Initially, Smith
objected
to being saved -- this was after one of those sad-but-hilarious tales that
give
a sort of rosy glow to a truly savage disease: Wilson's first scheduled
encounter with Smith was called off after the doctor staggered home blotto
carrying an enormous potted plant for no discernible reason. He deposited
the
non sequitur before his bewildered wife, then passed out.
The next day, when they finally met, Wilson answered Smith's reluctance by
saying that he wasn't there for Smith, he was there for Bill Wilson. This
was a
key insight in the development of AA -- the realization that helping another
drunk is key to staying sober oneself. It reflected Wilson's new humility
about
his wondrous white light and great clean wind. Before, he was trying to work
miracles in the lives of others. Now, he was just trying to maintain the
miracle
in his own.
And it worked. After one relapse, Smith, who had been drinking even longer
and
harder than Wilson, got sober. Bill W. and Dr. Bob shared the story of their
recoveries with more drunks in this same spirit. Some of those men and women
got
sober themselves, and reached out to still others. And so on, down through
the
years and out around the planet to the largely anonymous millions of today,
who
range from celebrities to legislators to schoolteachers to busboys, from a
former first lady to the businessman striding down the sidewalk to the
desperate
soul working on a second sober sunrise. AA is now so widespread and well
known
that creators of the children's movie "Finding Nemo" could playfully include
a
12-step meeting for fish-addicted sharks, confident that every parent in the
global reach of Disney would get the joke.
It's impossible to know exactly how many people have tried AA, how many
stayed
sober, how many attend meetings and how often. The group is not only
anonymous,
it is non-hierarchical, nondenominational, non-centralized, nonpartisan.
According to the Twelve Traditions that govern AA, there is no requirement
for
membership except a desire to stop drinking, and the group endorses no cause
apart from that one. All it takes to convene an AA meeting is two alcoholics
who
feel like talking, and the tone of the meetings is as varied as the people
who
choose to attend. Group consensus rules in all things, so in any good-size
city
there are smoking meetings and nonsmoking meetings, meetings for early
risers
and for night owls, meetings mostly populated by long-timers and meetings
more
oriented to the newly sober.
The 12 Steps and decentralized structure have proved so effective and
popular
that other groups have copied the template for dealing with other problems:
Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and so forth.
But
AA has never branched out. Getting and staying sober has been labor enough.
Unlike many spiritual visionaries, Wilson came to understand "that when he
heard
the voice of God, it was often just the voice of Bill Wilson," as Cheever
puts
it. And so, in the now-famous catechism that he created, AA members are
pledged
simply to turn their will and lives over to "the care of God as we
understood
him," with italics right there in the Big Book. Prospective converts are
often
assured that they may take as their God the nearest radiator if that's what
works for them. Almighty God with the white beard, or a gentle breeze in the
treetops, or the sublime engineering of a molecule, or the vastness of
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