Beer bowl III: bauhaus of pain



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BEER BOWL III: BAUHAUS OF PAIN

University of South Florida, March 16, 2003



Questions by Florida Atlantic University (Mark Rupright with Caleb Chapman)

Tossups





  1. In a potentially costly fit of creativity, Bill Samuels Sr. left the T.W. Samuels distillery, burned his family’s recipe and set out to re-invent the drink as we know it. Substituting winter wheat for the harsher rye and making many other, subtle changes, he produced an easy-drinking whiskey that his competitors admit “took the Devil out of bourbon.” FTP, identify this Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey, named for its distinctive logo, and recognizable by its wax-dipped bottle.

answer: Maker’s Mark


  1. Currently Chancellor of Scotland’s University of Stirling, Leonard Maltin’s Movie Encyclopedia described this acclaimed actress as a “highly trained Shakespearean trouper who found fame and fortune in mass-market entertainments unworthy of her talent.” That may be true, but TV fans have been all the happier for the career of TV Guide’s “hottest TV star of all time.” She even got to marry James Bond! (Of course it was only George Lazenby.) FTP identify the most beautiful woman in the history of television and current host of PBS' Mystery who was a million times hotter than Uma Thurman when she played Emma Peel on “The Avengers.”

answer: Dame Diana Rigg


  1. His first U.S. title came in 1994, when he won the U.S. Open. He also won the 1997 Open, but finished second in the 2000 Masters to Vijay Singh, and the 2000 U.S. Open and British Open to Tiger Woods. He slumped until winning last year’s British Open in a playoff at Muirfield, and in 2003 has five worldwide victories, including the Mercedes Championship and Sony Open. FTP, name this South African golfer.

answer: Ernie Els


  1. It’s made from 1/2-ounce rum, 1/2-ounce vodka, and 4 ounces of orange juice, according to the Webtender. It’s 1/2-ounce 151 rum floating on a jigger of coconut rum and a jigger of pineapple juice, according to allrecipes.com. The nautical origin of the name and its relation to cold cannon balls may be a myth, but the expression is used in many English-speaking countries to describe temperatures far colder than we tend to get in South Florida. FTP identify this measure of coldness, an alcoholic beverage, and a Beastie Boys song about that beverage – a “funky monkey.”

answer: Brass Monkey


  1. According to The Simpsons, it ran a news scroll claiming a study found that 92% of Democrats are gay. As with most caricatures on that show, this one is not far off the mark. Founded by Republican “Minister of Information” Roger Ailes and home to more media whores than probably any other network, it proves that if you need to claim that you’re “fair and balanced,” you ain’t. FTP, identify this Rupert Murdoch-owned propaganda arm of the RNC, featuring media whores like Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly.

answer: Fox News Channel


  1. Born Walter Edward Cox in 1948, he was a founding member of the L.A. Classical Theater. A serious accident in 1979 required numerous plastic surgeries and derailed his previously active career. A minor part as a teary intern in Robert Altman’s M.A.S.H. led to a starring role in 1970’s Brewster McCloud. More recently he starred as the skee-ball loving “John Doe Jersey” in Dogma. FTP identify this 1970s cult icon, most famous for his starring role in Harold and Maude.

answer: Bud Cort


  1. Lois and Clark did it when they got married. Blossom did it when she hit puberty. Mork & Mindy did it when they had a baby. Roseanne did it when she won the lottery. The Brady Bunch did it when Cousin Oliver joined the cast. Married...With Children did it when Ted McGinley joined the cast. FTP identify the irreversible shift that signaled the doom of all these shows, named for Fonzi’s stunt that heralded the downward spiral of “Happy Days.”

answer: they Jump(ed) the Shark (point and laugh at the player who buzzes in early with "sex")


  1. The newsletter of this organization, incorporated as the “Covenant Peoples Church” and founded by Charles K. Johnson, claims that it is “restoring the world to sanity.” This organization criticizes geocentrists and creationists as hypocrites for abandoning a completely literal interpretation of the Bible, and argues that God destroyed the Space Shuttle Challenger and that the moon landings were faked. FTP identify this group, who deride as the "Grease Ball" theory ancient Greek arguments for a spherical Earth.

answer: the Flat Earth Society


  1. Speaking of the Flat Earth Society, that’s the name of this artist’s official website, which declares itself a place “where stuffy old dreamers cling to ludicrously outmoded ideas about Life, the Universe, and the music of” this artist, whose most recent album is 2001’s Forty. Other albums of this technically innovative artist include Astronauts and Heretics, Aliens Ate My Buick, The Flat Earth, and The Golden Age of Wireless. FTP, identify this 80s New Wave icon, whose hits include Europa and the Pirate Twins, Hyperactive, and She Blinded Me With Science.

answer: Thomas Dolby


  1. Born in Quincy, Florida, he was recruited by Florida State University, touted as the next Charlie Ward. He was switched to a defensive back, and played for a losing Florida State in the first BCS title game. Recently dealt to the Cardinals, he intercepted two Rich Gannon passes in the first half as the Buccaneers rolled to a 48-21 victory. FTP, name the 2003 Super Bowl MVP.

answer: Dexter Jackson


  1. Once-suggested suspects included Unabomer Ted Kaczynski, Manson Family member Bruce Davis, and Ted Bundy. He once claimed in a letter that he was responsible for 37 murders, but he has only been conclusively linked to seven between 1966 and 1970. He sent dozens of letters to San Francisco Bay area police officials and media between 1966 and 1974, including ciphers, some of which have never been cracked. It was in a 1969 letter to the San Francisco Examiner that he first adopted his most famous moniker. Known for his distinctive cross-in-circle signature, FTP, identify this uncaught celestially-named serial killer.

answer: the Zodiac killer


  1. This is one of Wil Wheaton’s favorite games, one he’s “been playing since 1200 baud was smokin' fast.” Despite that association, its still a great game – the most elaborate you can still play on a VT100 emulator. Salon Magazine’s “Best Game Ever,” it was featured prominently in a May 2002 series of the online comic strip User Friendly. Perhaps it will regain popularity now that ATI has released a new video card optimized for ASCII graphics (okay, that last part was a joke). FTP identify this single-user dungeon game, currently in version 3.4.1, where you can choose your character – represented by an @ symbol, collect or kill lots of stuff, and, if you’re bored, eat your pet while searching for the Amulet of Yendor.

answer: Nethack


  1. Ben Affleck and Rikki Lake in uncredited roles. Liz Smith as a Reporter. Natasha Gregson Wagner as Cassandra. Hillary Swank, in her first movie, as Kimberly. David Arquette as Benny. Produced by Fran and Kaz Kuzui and directed by Fran Kuzui, this 1992 film also included Paul Rubens as Amilyn and Rutger Hauer as Lothos. FTP, identify this movie, written by Joss Whedon and starring Donald Sutherland as Merrick, Luke Perry as Pike, and Kristy Swanson as a certain Miss Summers.

answer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer


  1. “There were times when I could have murdered her / (But you know, I would hate anything to happen to her) / NO, I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER / Do you really think She'll pull through?” These are lines from an classic 80s song that shares its name with a novel that has the typical “Boy meets girl. Boy and girl get it on. Girl spends nearly two decades unconsious” plot line. FTP givethe common title of the book by Douglas Coupland and the song by “The Smiths”.

answer: Girlfriend in a Coma


  1. According to Nile Rogers and Melissa Ethridge, he helped raise social awareness about multiculturalism and the celebration of diversity. He dedicated his 1996 commencement address at Long Island University’s Southampton College to the students and their efforts to protect the environment. He also accepted an honorary Doctorate of Amphibious Letters. Not bad for a guy from the swamp, whose background includes stints as a newscaster and stage producer. FTP identify this banjo-playing singer, who inspired a generation of children to accept their differences with his hit It’s Not Easy Being Green.

answer: Kermit the Frog


  1. Julie Foudy and Donna de Varona might not strike you as overly political, but on Feb. 26, 2003, they refused to sign the official report of a federal commission they sat on, and instead offered a minority report to Education Secretary Rod Paige. The Commission on Opprtunity in Athletics was created by Paige to re-examine federal standards for measuring equal opportunity in athletics as guaranteed by, FTP, this 1972 federal law, which helped raise the number of women in varsity sports from 325,000 in 1971 to over 2.5 million in 1997.

answer: Title IX


  1. This accomplished “private dick” is often called in by the Chief of Police when his detectives come up empty. Idaville, Florida wouldn’t seem like a hotbed of major crime, but Leroy and his partner Sally manage to maintain an active practice, in part because Bugs Meany’s gang is always up to something, and in part because their retainer, 25 cents per day plus expenses, is pretty competitive. FTP identify this be-sneakered super sleuth, star of 22 collections of short mysteries (with answers) written by Donald Sobol.

answer: Encyclopedia Brown (prompt on “Leroy Brown”)


  1. “Man did Bush look tired during that press conference! / I hope he wasn’t too inconvenienced. He looked perturbed. / Bush was so tired he kept repeating the phrase ‘September 11th’ no matter what the question was – I wonder if he was aware of that?” These lines are from the most recent installment of an on-line clip-art-based anti-war comic by David Rees, who also created My New Fighting Technique Is Unstoppable. FTP name this comic, that opened in October 2001 with the line “Oh yeah! Operation: Enduring Freedom is in the house!”

answer: Get Your War On


  1. Even if you did know how to design and construct a working airplane from 1900s-era scrap, would you be able to do it in twenty hours? Would you fly the thing if you did? The French Falcons, British Buzzards, and American Eagles did exactly that in the most recent episode of this show on the Learning Channel. FTP identify the show, known as Scrapheap Challenge in its British incarnation, which usually pits two teams against each other and a 10-hour clock to build and compete with complex machines made out of junk.

answer: Junkyard Wars (accept “Junkyard Megawars” – prompt on “Scrapheap Challenge” until it is mentioned)


  1. Strange, but I wouldn’t think that Lightnin’ Hopkins playing the Finest Worksong in front of the Fireplace to members of Oddfellows Local 151 would cause such a Disturbance at the Heron House. Why, then are the King of Birds and The One I Love busy Exhuming McCarthy? Is it to prepare a Welcome to the Occupation, or could it be because It’s the End of the World As We Know It? This strained narrative includes the titles of every song on this 1987 album, which was, FTP, the last with IRS Records and the first commercial success for R.E.M.

answer: Document


  1. Can’t you guys read?, 49 Dogs, 36 Cats, and a Platypus, Chalk Up Another One, Science Goes to the Dogs, and From Personal Ads to Cloning Labs are among his collections of science cartoons. FTP identify this frequent contributor to the New Yorker and other magazines, who also penned the collections Einstein Simplified and Einstein Atomized and whose cartoons have appeared on the shirts of just about every science nerd in the country.

answer: Sidney Harris


  1. You may expect Elmer Gantry or Leap of Faith when you first look at this movie about a deeply flawed Holiness preacher, but you would be mistaken. Instead, you will find a story about a wonderfully complex character who is filled with the Holy Spirit and, when he faces his sins, clings to his love of Jesus. Written longhand, produced, directed by and starring Robert Duvall, this 1997 movie drew on Duvall’s experiences with Pentecostal churches. FTP name this movie that included big-budget talent and an easily-abusable plot, that turned out to be an engrossing look at old time religion.

answer: The Apostle


  1. “The battle between the good and the bad is about to get ugly.” That’s the tagline for this movie about a mother who will stop at nothing to ensure that her daughter wins a beauty contest. Becky Leeman does win – her victory ensured by the over-the-top patriotism of her Mt. Rushmore headpiece, the blasphemous hyper-religiosity of her on-stage dance with a crucified Jesus, and the fact that many of her opponents were injured or killed before the competition. FTP identify this 1999 mockumentary, starring Kirsten Dunst as a tap-dancing mortuary makeup artist, and Denise Richards as the beauty queen who lost her crown when she was killed in an exploding parade float of her mother’s design.

answer: Drop Dead Gorgeous
BEER BOWL III: BAUHAUS OF PAIN

University of South Florida, March 16, 2003

Questions by Florida Atlantic University (Mark Rupright with Caleb Chapman)

Bonuses


  1. Ah, Shockwave! Thanks to this wonderful internet multimedia language we have access to the classic arcade games of yore – and you don’t need a pocket full of quarters to play them! Given the description of a classic arcade game at shockwave.com, name the game FTPE.

[10] Take out every evil spy you can set your sights on! The road rage classic is back!

answer: Spy Hunter

[10] In an experiment gone awry, you're a 50 ft. monster bent on destruction. The only way you can stay alive is to destroy an entire city block, bash a mechanized army and avoid dynamite tossing mercenaries!



answer: Rampage

[10] Mount your flying ostrich and challenge gladiators to a death match in this classic arcade game. Fly from perch to perch and keep an eye out for that pesky pterodactyl!



answer: Joust


  1. One of the most overplayed songs on VH1 and Top 40 radio at the moment is the Dixie Chicks’ cloying, bizarre remake of the cloying and bizarre “Landslide”. Identify these other remade songs from a description and recent artist FTPE. You’ll get 5 points if you need the original artist.

[10] Sixpence None The Richer released this remake as a single on March 4, 2003. The “tales of war and of waste” line is certainly topical.
[5] Of course this version is nowhere near as good as the original by Crowded House.

answer: Don’t Dream It’s Over

[10] Two answers required - Will to Power actually remade these two songs that didn’t belong together into a medley that didn’t belong on the radio at all.

[5] The originals were by Peter Frampton and Lynyrd Skynyrd.

answer: Baby I Love Your Way and Freebird

[10] This Bangles song from the soundtrack to Less Than Zero was one of their best songs and their last hit before breaking up.

[5] Simon and Garfunkle didn’t break up so quickly after they wrote and recorded it.

answer: Hazy Shade of Winter


  1. Visual Bonus: Not surprisingly, the former governor of Texas is an easy target for political cartoonists. I will give you a sheet with six caricatures of George W. Bush (okay, one’s a photo `toon). FFPE, match them to the following list of creators, which you might want to write down: Ruben Bolling (of “Tom The Dancing Bug”), Kevin Cunningham (of politicalstrikes.com), Ted Rall, Tom Toles, Tom Tomorrow (of “This Modern World”), and Gary Trudeau.


answer: 1 – Kevin Cunningham, 2 – Gary Trudeau, 3 – Ruben Bolling, 4 – Tom Tomorrow, 5 – Tom Toles, 6 – Ted Rall.


  1. Identify these Garfield characters from clues, FTPE.

[10] He was actually Odie’s owner, but the dog stayed after he left the strip in 1983. His bushy moustache and role as Jon’s “roommate” caused fans to wonder if he left to pursue a career in figure skating.

answer: Lyman

[10] Garfield’s on-and-off girlfriend. He is usually too self-involved to notice the gap-toothed sexiness of this pretty pink pussy.



answer: Arlene

[10] The self-described “World’s Cutest Kitten.” The fat cat once mailed this annoyance to Abu Dhabi.



answer: Nermal


  1. Beer Bowl, the greatest of all Trash tournaments held in Tampa each spring, took its name from the greatest beverage ever invented. Beer, of course, gets many important properties from the type of yeast used in fermentation. Given a description of the fermenting process, identify the style of beer FTPE.

[10] This type of beer is made by brewing at low temperatures over several weeks with bottom fermenting, low alcohol tolerant yeast.

answer: lager

[10] Unlike lager, this other major style is brewed in a little over a week at warmer temperatures with top fermenting yeast.



answer: ale

[10] This uniquely American contribution to beer culture was invented during the Gold Rush. It gets its name from the strong carbonation that results from brewing with cold-loving lager yeasts at the higher ale temperatures.



answer: Steam Beer (accept California Common, as “steam” is trademarked by the Anchor Brewing Co.)


  1. Identify the movie soundtracks given a list of songs, FTPE.

[10] “Every You and Every Me,” by Placebo; “Colorblind,” by Counting Crows; and “Bittersweet Symphony,” by The Verve.

answer: Cruel Intentions

[10] “Wake Up,” by Rage Against The Machine; “Rock is Dead,” by Marilyn Manson; and “Du Hast,” by Rammstein.



answer: The Matrix

[10] “Young Hearts Run Free,” by Kym Mazelle; “#1 Crush,” by Garbage; and “Lovefool,” by The Cardigans.



answer: William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet


  1. Ugh, sports questions. I’m supposed to include them, but I really have trouble giving a flip about any sporting event that doesn’t involve two particular college teams. Given a highly personalized description of a sports figure, identify him or her, FTPE.

[10] I passed her jogging down Columbia Street in Chapel Hill shortly after she led her team to the 1999 World Cup Soccer victory. Sure #9 looks good off the field, but she looks damn good when she’s working out!

answer: Mia Hamm

[10] My friend Billy invited this future Raptor and 1998-99 rookie of the year into our office so he could autograph a copy of J.D. Jackson’s “Classical Electrodynamics,” right under the signature of Jerry Stackhouse.



answer: Vince Carter

[10] My wife still proudly relates the story of meeting this 1998 NCAA football coach of the year, who led his alma mater to the national championship that same year. When she met him at a party, he touched her on both shoulders.



answer: Phil Fulmer


  1. Identify the movies from lines, FTPE.

[10] “Yeah, well, at least you're name isn't Michael Bolton.” / “You know, there's nothing wrong with that name.” / “There WAS nothing wrong with it. Until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown BECAME famous and started winning Grammys.”

answer: Office Space

[10] “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. `twould be a pity to damage yours.”



answer: The Princess Bride

[10] “I told my shrink I was a nymphomaniac.” / “What did he do?” / “He nailed me.”



answer: The Breakfast Club


  1. Professional Wrestling has pretty much sucked since Sting put on that stupid “Crow”-looking makeup. Modern wrestlers can’t compete with the 80s for sheer style and silliness. FTPE identify these wrestlers from the days of yore.

[10] This tag team, also known as “the Kiwis” and “the Sheepherders” were characterized by loveable antics, a stylin’ forearm raising stomp, and a tendency to lick and chew each others’ faces. They currently live in Florida.

answer: The Bushwhackers

[10] He won the 1968 Olympic gold medal for Iran before defecting to the U.S. and gaining notoriety in the anti-Iranian 80s, where he briefly held the WWF heavyweight title and had a bloody feud with Sgt. Slaughter.



answer: The Iron Sheik

[10] One of the greatest tag teams of all time, Hawk and Animal have held tag team championships in every major wrestling conference. And they looked a hell of a lot better in makeup than Sting or the Ultimate Warrior did.



answer: The Road Warriors


  1. Identify these people who have something in common FTPE.

[10] Played by Peter Frampton in the movie and Ringo Starr on the albumn, he sang With a Little Help From My Friends as part of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

answer: Billy Shears

[10] There are at least two famous guys by this name. The real one is a Chicago-based blues guitarist whose latest CD is entitled Blues and Love. The fake one is a Chicago-based lawyer who only cares about love – and a $5000 retainer, and who, by manipulating the press, has never lost a case.



answer: Billy Flynn

[10] This buff, bald, black, boxer bears black belts in six martial arts, won 36 gold medals with the U.S. karate team, and invented the one-time fitness craze, Tae Bo.



answer: Billy Blanks


  1. 40-30-20-10-5-1 Name the guy, given people he was associated with.

[40] His mother and father.
[30] Michael Stipe, who dedicated REM’s 1994 album Monster to him.
[20] Samantha Mathis, his last date at Johnny Depp’s “Viper Room” club.
[10] Keanu Reeves, with whom he enjoyed sex scenes in My Own Private Idaho.
[5] His brother Joaquin, whose career is likely to be more successful because he has not yet died of drug-related heart failure.
[1] The L.A. county coroner, who probably filed his autopsy under “P” for “Phoenix, River.”

answer: River Phoenix


  1. In our society’s outrageous views on beauty, many women starve themselves to feel pretty. FTPE identify each of these women who certainly are beautiful, but definitely need to eat a burger.

[10] She looked good in that bunny costume in Bridget Jones’ Diary. Too bad you could count her ribs in Chicago.

answer: Renee Zellweger

[10] As Winifred ‘Fred’ Burke, the particle physics student who spent a few years in another dimension on Angel, she is the object of affection for both Wesley and Gunn. Fans worry that she might be blown away in the next good breeze.



answer: Amy Acker

[10] She looked really good when she played Donna on Twin Peaks. Now that she’s on The Practice and dating Jack Nicholson, she weighs about as much as one of Donna’s legs did.



answer: Lara Flynn Boyle


  1. First Amendment? Big deal! You can’t have a free press if the corporate media give the government a free pass. That’s why we have Media Whores Online, “the site that set out to bring the media to their knees, but found they were already there.” FTPE identify these 2002 “Whore of the Year” nominees.

[10] The winner of the competition, MWO suggested that his Washington Post series, 10 Days in September, probably should have been called 10 Days Under Bush’s Desk. They don’t treat his book Bush at War much more kindly.

answer: Bob Woodward

[10] Runner up in the 2002 competition and winner of the award in 2000, MWO nominated him due to his role as a GOP “hired debate assassin” in 2002. Called “Media Whore #1” by Mike Malloy, his Sunday show is dubbed Meet The Whore at MWO.



answer: Tim Russert

[10] The 2001 winner, this Newsweek editor has worn out more than his share of Presidential kneepads with statements calling Baby Bush “the Texas Ranger of the world,” and “Shane, the reluctant cowboy, strapping on a gun to protect his family.” The Bush and God issue of Newsweek probably made him the front-runner for the 2003 award.



answer: Howard Fineman


  1. Identify these Kartoon Kitty Kats, FTPE.

[10] This bad-ass leader of the Thundercats was known for his shock-red mane.

answer: Lion-O

[10] This “defender of the universe” is not a kitty himself, but he is comprised of five robot lions.



answer: Voltron

[10] He’s He-Man’s green and yellow, saddle wearing companion. His primary enemy is Skeletor’s evil pet Panthor.



answer: Battle Cat


  1. The Frustrated Golfer Bonus: The PGA Championship is seen as the black sheep of the major championships of golf. Despite that, it has the strongest field in any of those championships. Identify the last three PGA Champions from clues FTPE

[10] This unlikely 2002 PGA Champion, who held off a late Sunday charge by Tiger Woods, got into the tournament only after winning the 2002 International, though has struggled since.

answer: Rich Beem


[10] This 2001 PGA Champion and LSU graduate held off a late Sunday charge by Phil Mickelson, to capture victory at the Atlanta Athletic Club, and most recently faced Tiger Woods in the Finals of the 2003 World Golf Championships - Accenture Match Play Championship, losing 2 and 1.

answer: David Toms


[10] This 1999 and 2000 PGA Champion and Stanford drop-out owns six other major titles, most recently the 2002 U.S. Open at Bethpage State Park. Usually, he’s the one being chased on Sunday.

answer: Tiger Woods





  1. Want to go bankrupt? Then purchase naming rights to a stadium. Identify the following corporate collapses based on the sporting venue FTPE.

[10] This company bought the naming rights to the new Houston Astros’ ballpark before going bankrupt in 2001. The venue is now Minute Maid Field

answer: Enron


[10] This now defunct sports apparel company owns the rights to the venue home to the Miami Dolphins and Florida Marlins.

answer: Pro Player

[10] This telecom company bought the rights to the new Baltimore Ravens stadium, and later went bust.



answer: PSINet


  1. Childish dreams. I fondly remember waiting by the mailbox, having allowed four to six weeks, for the delivery of a much-coveted pair of X-ray specs. When I got them I could finally relax and get back to writing this trash round. FTPE answer these questions about kids who are eager to get mail.

[10] In this movie, the protagonist finally got his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring and eagerly awaited his first message. Much to his dismay, it was “Drink More Ovaltine.”

answer: A Christmas Story

[10] “Where’s my spy camera? Where’s my spy camera?” was this little boy’s daily refrain to the letter carrier. He finally got it and used it – getting his father in trouble in the process.



answer: Bart Simpson

[10] Badger Myer got lots of things in the mail, including a book on picking up trashy women and a home Space Shuttle kit. FTP identify the movie that ended with Badger’s successful shuttle launch.



answer: Better off Dead


  1. Okay, yours truly could stand to lose a few pounds. FTPE name these other people who did.

[10] He recently appeared on episode 29 of Jimmy Kimmel Live, where he related the story of how he lost weight eating Subway sandwiches.

answer: Jared Fogel (give the team five points if all they can come up with is Jared)

[10] This Blues Traveler front man was inspired to lose weight after he nearly had a heart attack masturbating to porn.



answer: John Popper

[10] Sharon Osbourne lost weight the same way this Today Show weatherman did: having a silicone band placed around the top of the stomach.



answer: Al Roker


  1. Everyone who was anyone had a guest appearance on The New Scooby Doo Movies. FTPE identify the guest from descriptions.

[10] They appeared in “The Secret of Shark Island.” She went on to get her ass tattooed. He had a future in Congress until his date with a tree.

answer: Sonny and Cher

[10] He appeared in “The Haunted Horseman of Hagglethorn Hill,” and inspired numerous masturbatory fantasies for Marcia Brady. His fame caused a more talented musician of the same name to change his name to Bowie.



answer: Davie Jones

[10] She appeared in “The Haunted Candy Factory,” where it looked as if she might have eaten all the stock. Contrary to popular myth, her fate was sealed by a lifestyle, not a single ham sandwich.



answer: Mama Cass Elliott


  1. Identify these religious groups you don’t want to share your old “God-spelled-backward” insight with, FTPE.

[10] Don’t try to pull any of that “Jesus Was a Jew” crap with this crowd, the political wing of the “White Identity Church of Jesus Christ – Christian.”

answer: Aryan Nation(s)

[10] This Adventist-based church, founded by Herbert W. Armstrong, is known for it’s The Plain Truth magazine and The World Tomorrow TV show. Although Armstrong denied the Trinity, the Church accepted that doctrine in 1993 under the leadership of Joseph Tkach.



answer: the Worldwide Church of God

[10] Officially the Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity, they are also known as the “Moonies” after their founder, Reverend Sun Myung Moon. They have gained significant influence from their funding of the Bush crime family and other right wing causes including the tabloid Washington Times newspaper and the UPI.



answer: the Unification Church


  1. Now That’s What I Call (crappy) Music! It’s sad to say that this Sony-produced K-Tel rip-off series is now in its twelfth incarnation! FTPE answer these questions about the series.

[10] Number 5 included Give Me Just One Night by this manufactured pop group, whom I unfortunately saw in concert as part of a music festival.

answer: 98 Degrees

[10] Number 11 included Bare Naked by this former star of “Kids Incorporated.” It would be nice to see this “HeartBreakers” star bare naked, but I don’t want to hear her sing about it!



answer: Jennifer Love Hewitt

[10] Okay, they occasionally get a good song. I’ve always liked this Harvey Danger classic, which appeared on Number 1, for it line “Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding.”



answer: Flagpole Sitta


  1. Here’s a same-name bonus with a trashy twist. In this question you will be asked about pairs of people, real or fictional, who share a common name. One of the people in each pair would be suitable for an academic tournament. The other is purely trash. Identify each common name for 15 points given a clue about one of the pair. You’ll get five points if you need the other. Hint: neither are Jethro Tull or Alice Cooper.

[15] This porn director, who runs Extreme Associates with her husband Rob Black, is known for making ultra-violent, misogynistic movies like “Forced Entry”.

[5] This Fall River, MA socialite allegedly took a hatchet, not an axe, to her father and stepmother.



answer: Lizzie (or Lizzy) Borden

[15] “Frauendienst,” or “Lady’s Service,” was the autobiography of this unusual knight, poet, and jousting enthusiast who undertook international jousting excursions dressed as Venus or as King Arthur.

[5] The goofy knight above inspired the noble pseudonym of William Thatcher, Heath Ledger’s character in “A Knight’s Tale.”

answer: Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein


  1. Science in a Trash tournament? When it’s Periodic Table Haiku, how can you pass it up? FTSNOP identify the element from its poetic description.

[5] alchemy itself / transmuter of history: / panning for dreams.

answer: Gold

[10] the sky's referee /without its calming effect / oxygen will burn



answer: Nitrogen

[15] galvanized iron / cosmetics, preservatives / a salt, and batteries



answer: Zinc

Visual Bonus





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