Edited by Charlotte Mitchell, Ellen Jordan and Helen Schinske

97. To Mary Anne Dyson

February 24, 1854.

I thought often of your saying papa would be the worst of us, for we have had a terrible night. After the long day at Portsmouth he came home, and about 10 o'clock at night a sort of attack came on that frightened us very much, and we sent for Mr. Lyford who cupped him, which relieved him much, and he has been getting better since, though still with very bad oppression and headache. Mr. Lyford seems to make sure of his being better to-morrow, and I hope Julian will go off with a cheerful account. He has been able to come home for a few hours to-day, but only to see papa asleep, for the agitation of a talk and renewing of the good-byes is not to be. It seems as if it would have been apoplectic if not taken in time, and just at first when he could not speak or use his limbs it was very frightful, but that soon went off, and to-day he is fully himself, only heavy and sleepy, thinking that he has an unusually bad headache; but since the afternoon he has been reviving, talking more, and telling mamma and me to go out, so she has had one walk round and I two with Julian, and after all, I hope the last impression will be a hopeful one to carry to Malta, where he can first hear again. Mamma will be able most likely to go to bed to-night; she is now lying on the bed by him. It is the very dread that always haunted me, and has been so like old visions that it seems like a dream, but it is going off, we think we may trust, and the thing will be for him not to overdo himself again. Julian says Uncle James rather apprehended something of the kind when they were at Plymouth. This seems to have eaten up poor Julian's going away, except for the sorrow for him going at such a time. How good and helpful the men were when we were forced to have them to carry him! It does seem so like a dream, but it has been much thankfulness, after those first words. He remembers nothing of the worst time.

C. M. Y.

98.To Mary Anne Dyson

February 25, 1854.

Your letter was the pleasure of sympathy that I knew it would be. We have been going on what seems a long time, with a great deal of severe pain in the head, which gets better late in the afternoon, then he sits up, overtires him­self, and makes it worse again. Yesterday mamma had one of her worst varieties of headache, as might have been expected, but it mended in the middle of the day, especially as Mrs. Keble came and sat three hours with us, which refreshed her much, and she was able to attend the cupping in the afternoon. We are feeding ourselves with a dim hope of Uncle James coming, though I don't know whether it is a reasonable one. However, he is really better, but it is more of an illness than I believe I expected the day before yesterday. To-day he is more restless and anxious than yesterday when the oppression was greater, and this is certainly a good sign, though more visibly distressing. I do not think he had come to the full perception of the extent of the attack till this morning, and Mr. Lyford says people always do get anxious about themselves in this sort of case as they mend, and his being so much of a doctor adds to it, as it makes him watch his pulse and devise remedies. However, it is better than yesterday, when we could not prevent him from writing to Uncle James, about the worst thing he could attempt, and which, I do believe, brought back the pain in the head to that terrible degree. I wrote this in the morning, and now at five he is rather better, though still exceedingly uncomfortable, but the perspiration much desired has come at last and relieved the pain. I believe it is all right. This slow nursing is more like reality to me than the night itself was. I am glad Bessie has come pro­vided; Olive gets pence for carrying out letters, so it is an amiable attention I should not wish to disturb. I am glad you are rid of Emily. Pray tell us all the news. We are in a state when letter news does better than anything else, but I cannot answer news or kindness in full now as the post summons is come. Mrs. Keble has been here with Lady Heathcote. The Isaac Williamses, with three boys, are at Hursley; it is so kind of her to come as she has done, and we have had such a kind note from the Warden. I am glad Old Slave should think of me. Perhaps I may write on Sunday, for, of course, school will not be practic­able.

C.M.Y.