Guatemala
During the 1980´s the military in Guatemala murdered many people not least, indigenous people. They were suspected of supporting the left wing guerrilla forces. The civil war ceased in 1996 and today civil rights organisations are trying to get the perpetrators tried for their crimes. The Christian Peace Movement send followers to (among other places) Guatemala, to be present in the villages and give moral support to those who witness against the soldiers. It is an understatement to say that it is not without risk. Many fear those who previously were soldiers. Peace Observer Henrik Edvinsson gives a picture of the work in a narrative from 2005. “After walking up a steep climb for to hours we finally reached the village. The rain period had not yet reached the Guatemalan highland therefore the heat was pressing and the sun strong. Here we have a house to our disposition but we always take our meals together with the witness families. … A more concrete task is to ascertain the psychological health of the witnesses and the general situation in the villages. During the meals we ask how they are and how the work on the fields is progressing. Often it is difficult to have a longer conversation as they often do not speak much Spanish. Here, the Maya language Ixil is spoken, and as a Peace Observer you do best in learning basic phrases and words.
Some organisations working for peaceful change
For you who wishes to take part in the important world wide work of nonviolence there are door that are wide open. Here are some possibilities:
PeaceQuest is a Swedish organisation for young people who do not accept war, violence, racism, sexism or other forms of oppression. They teach peaceful conflict management as an alternative to aggression and revenge. They are also active in cooperative projects with other organisations working for peace and civil rights in other countries. www.peacequest.se
Civis is an organisation working for peace initiatives in different parts of the world and also debates questions of peace and democracy in Sweden. The head office is situated in Gothenburg and they have a field office in Bogotá Colombia. Civis has “specialist knowledge about this conflict ravaged country and organises among other things youth exchange and commitment to non-violence. www.civis.nu
For those working in schools ”Lärare för Fred”, (Teachers for Peace), work for a peaceful future and school spreading and increasing knowledge about democracy, human rights and conflict management. They cooperate with equivalent organisations in other countries taking part in international meetings where teachers exchange experiences on teaching peace. www.larareforfred.se
Ofog is a network which works for a world without nuclear weapons and opposes Swedish arms export. Among other issues they take part in blockades and other direct action against NATO´s nuclear bombs in Europe. www.ofog.org
The Network No Human Being is Illegal, work, with their own words, for, “Directly supporting people who seek a permit of residence in Sweden or been forced to go into hiding because of the Swedish Migration politics. Work with a general amnesty and permanent permit of residence for all people who are here and who wish to stay.” www.ingenillegal.org
Kristna Fredsrörelsen (The Christian Peace Movement) has since 1919, been working for peace. This non-violence movement trains people in non-violence, disarmament, forestalling and preventive presence in Guatemala, Mexico Colombia and Israel/Palestine. www.krf.se
The KAOS model51
“One wishes to be loved.
For lack of this, admired.
For lack of this, despised
and hated.
One wishes to inspire
some sort of feeling.
The soul shudders before
the empty room
and wishes contact
to whatever price.”
-Hjalmar Söderberg
Another way of practising non-violence in everyday life is to intervene against direct oppression. It is important to see the difference between conflict and oppression even if they often go hand in hand. Conflicts are not necessarily a problem but our behaviour in conflicts can be. The following model, below is a toolbox for intervention in violation, oppression and violence. The KAOS model is in the first instance for use of people outside the conflict, the so called third party. The model gives them the chance to go from being passive observers to actively intervene, break oppression and make clear the situation.
Confront. As most violations take place under some sort of “secret screen” one of the most important steps is making visible the violation putting words and names to what is happening - “Why are you so nasty to Lisa?” By naming what happens by asking questions, one shows sympathy and at the same time makes clear that the negative behaviour is not accepted.
Divert attention. A usual way of preventing trouble with small children is to divert attention. Particularly in situations where there are a lot of feelings, the possibility of violence, or where the injured party is not present, this can be a good tool. A conflict can often be loaded with energy and attention and can therefore be difficult to leave. A way of breaking a stalemate is to take a time-out and in this way divert attention from the situation.
A violent situation which is accelerating can be slowed down by unexpected questions such as “Do you like going to the movies?” In this way, the course of events of the conflict are broken and there is the chance of an opening, where the parties concerned do not focus on one another, and a possibility of meeting the conflict is created.
Reinterpret. In a conflict it is easy for the parties concerned to take on roles. By reinterpreting the situation or giving new roles an escalation of the conflict can be avoided. The pupil that is always talking gets the role of assisting someone who has difficulty in voicing his/her opinion. The man, who with hurried steps closes in on a woman walking through the park in the evening is asked if he can help the woman carry her heavy bags as he seems strong. By asking for help or advice of people we think behave problematically we can present for some who temporarily is behaving a bit “bad guy”, the chance to be show his best side and be a hero. To reinterpret roles can also be about not seeing oneself as victim.
Support/Separate In a conflict situation both the oppressor and the oppressed need support from the environs. A way of supporting the oppressed is nearness, for example sitting next to someone when the person is spoken of in an ill-willed way. In this situation the oppressed is no longer alone and as such becomes more difficult as a target for the oppressor, just asking if someone is okay, particularly if the person has been beaten. Supporting the oppressor can be a question of balance. The situation can easily turn to one of many people taking part for the oppressed and thereby the oppressor becoming the oppressed. In this situation support the person, take him/her away and talk it through.
Peacekeeping pairs.
Another method of approach to effectively prevent violation is through peacekeeping pairs. Peacekeepers use the KAOS method in a particularly creative way to, as quickly as possible, stop the violation, violence and tense situation. The peacekeeper method has been used all over the world in everywhere from school to demonstrations to parties and so on. To be a good peacekeeper it is important that one has been properly trained in conflict intervention and the ability to cooperate with a partner. A peacekeeper has a distinctive feature in the form of a hat, a particular armband or be dressed distinctively (for example in white).
Aggressive (oppressor) Ask for help (oppressed)
?
5 seconds
Peacekeeping pair
Person A subjects person B to some form of violation or violence. A´s energy is now directed towards B. If someone goes between them there is a big risk that they will get A´s anger over them instead of B. The peacekeepers act quickly and coordinated. C goes to A and catches A´s attention for 5 seconds. It can be to ask what time it is, or ask for help or if it is a case of extreme violence, try to create a thought stop by saying something crazy and / funny, behave in such a way that A must be attentive to C. It is important that that C does not go too close to A and that after 5 seconds C moves away. During the time that C does this D goes to B and asks that B and D leave together. Often, when we are exposed to some situation we get glue under our feet and we do not move even though we could. It is relatively easy to lead someone away. When A turns around after 5 seconds, B, C and D are no longer present and the situation is prevented.
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
An introduction to the section on conflict management
In the same manner as the first section of the material gives insight to the theory of non-violence and how it functions, this section of the book takes up the theory and function of conflict management.
First, a little general knowledge on conflict; What is a conflict? Basic conflict terminology and views on conflict together with a little general information on how conflicts work. This is a good basic knowledge.
The next stage is about how we can understand and analyse conflicts. Here the dynamics of conflict are described; how conflicts escalate and the importance of thinking in terms of need. The chapter gives an analytical perspective to conflicts and increases understanding of what is happening in a specific conflict.
The next stage is about how we can manage conflict in a constructive and creative way. Here attitudes around the unconditionally constructive strategy and how to start a positive anti-spiral in a conflict are described. The different dimension of conflict management is examined in the Zoo of Conflicts. For different suggestions on conflict intervention, see the enclosed CD.
Communication is a particularly important ingredient of all constructive conflict management and therefore this part is about just that. Active or steered listening is discussed and also so called non-violence communication.
After this, a section on conflict management in school. Here we look at both the perspective around the role of school fosterage, the work of active encouragement, making positive limits, models of trouble shooting and training social competence and different ways of working with problematic behaviour patterns and models for conflict management in school.
The conflict management section of the material terminates with a passage on how we can, after training start up and continue with different activities and commitments.
Good Luck!
General Knowledge about Conflict
What is a conflict?
In the same way as there are different interpretations of nonviolence, conflict also has different interpretations.
Some examples are given below.
A conflict is …..
A collision of interests, values, actions or directions (within a lone individual, or between one or several parties).
A confrontation between the wills of two parties. As soon as a difference of opinion occurs which cannot be satisfied at the same time, a conflict arises.
A fight over values, status claims, land or resource conflicts which enemies cannot agree on and where they wish to injure, neutralise or eliminate their rival.
Where one person is set on a goal which is incompatible with someone else’s and continues to strive towards the goal.
“A conflict exists when a human being is inhibited from achieving her/his goal.” (Adam Curle)
“Conflicts exist where people have different availability to power and authority.” (Ralph Dahrensdorf)
“A conflict exists whenever incompatible activities occur. An activity which is incompatible with another, stops, blocks, disturbs or damages or in other ways renders the activity less likely or effective.” (Deutch)
“A plan of action can be said to be in conflict when the plan has two or more incompatible goals. (Johan Galtung)
“One should not confuse conflict with a strong exchange of views. As long as one has respect for one another there is no conflict. Such confrontation is constructive and necessary in order to reach one another. Conflicts can be described as a process, where the respect for human values gradually lessens and leads to those involved regarding one another as objects rather than human beings” (Brodal & Nilsson).
“A conflict is a social situation in which at least two people simultaneously strive for the same set of small resources.” (Peter Wallensteen)
Conflict Terminology
The opposite of cooperation and agreement is not conflict,
but isolation and broken contact.
Conflicts force us together again.
The rest depends on how we handle the situation.
-Stellan Vinthagen
peace researcher.
Here follows a short exposition of different types of basic conflict terminology and thoughts which can be good to have along the way.
Conflict functions
Conflicts can have different functions
To give a picture of self- and the other party
To function as self-strengthening
To have a ventilator function
To aim at achieving goal and the point of issue
To have a blocking and signal function
Conflict typologies
There are different types of conflicts. The most usual divisions are:
Latent (below the surface) & manifest conflicts (ongoing)
More or less regulated conflicts
Hot (emotional) & cold (denied) conflicts.
Conflict result
Generally one can say that conflicts terminate in at least five different ways:
Submission - one party gives up
Dominance - one party dominates the other
Avoidance - the conflict is ignored
Compromise - the parties find a compromise solution
Cooperation - The parties find a way of cooperating
Reasons for conflict
There are many different theories as to the basic reasons for conflict. Several theories point to the connection between inner and outer conflicts. Jon Burton, for example, says that conflicts often originate in underlying frustrated needs. See further “To think in need” (p.83)
The General dynamics of conflict and constructive attitudes.
Some factors are common to most conflicts in both negative and positive dynamics of conflict.
Here are some of the most usual:
Negative conflict behaviour
Constructive attitude
Narrowing egocentric reasoning
Competition and prestige
Stress and shortage of time
Lack of communication
Hung up on historical injustices
Violence
Broadening of thought to a bigger “we”
Seeking win-win solutions
Take a breath and step backwards
Communication
Concentrating on the future and solutions
To avoid all forms of violence. Attempt to “save the faces” of those involved
Conflicts, good or bad for us?
The word conflict is often experienced as being negative. We relate conflicts to negative and unpleasant feelings, which is perhaps not strange when conflicts in the daily media-buzz often automatically presuppose that it is violent conflicts we discuss. In this material we wish to show that conflicts are not always negative. Sometimes conflicts can be very necessary and developing. A third way of thinking is that conflicts, in themselves, are neutral and it is the way we manage them which makes the difference between experiencing positive and negative feelings. Whatever, conflicts are a part of our lives, every day. We solve most conflicts without thinking about them. We do not even reflect on the fact that we have just experienced a conflict.
Looking at conflicts?
One of the first points we should think about in relation to conflict management is which basic view of conflict we have. Perhaps w see conflicts as something to be avoided, forbidden or solved as quickly as possible or possibly as a neutral phenomenon which can be positive or negative depending on the result and how we manage them. We can also see conflict as something positive which needs immediate attention as it is a question of importance which should be managed in a proper way. Our relationship to conflicts and the way in which we attempt to manage them is steered by the basic view feeling we have for conflict.
A common problem in conflicts is that is a form of false harmony ideal can exist. This often leads to the avoidance of conflicts and sweeping them under the mat rather than dealing with them. A creative starting point is that there are many unnecessary conflicts and even more necessary ones. Purely group dynamically, Michel Foucault says that in a group where there is no (not room for) conflict someone is paying a price. When people meet there are natural tensions between different interests, ideas and needs. We learn to meet and manage this tension in a constructive way. To suppress conflicts and differences does not mean that they do not exist; they are present, under the surface preventing us from being ourselves.
“If your luck is
dependant on what
others do then
you have a real
problem.”
-Richard Bach
Another usual problem in conflict situations is that we imagine that we can solve a conflict by other means than the goal we wish to achieve. If honesty is a desirable ideal then it is wise to begin there oneself. A creative starting point is to endeavour to see that the means and the goal are the same, even interchangeable. That violence begets violence is an old truth, that manipulation begets manipulation and so on.
Creative conflict management is always, in the end, about struggling against a negative, for example, misuse of power and oppression and creating something positive such as dialogue, non-violence, democracy.
The Accordion Theory – about conflicts on different levels
“Do not damn
the darkness.
Light a light”
Conflicts are often composite and complex phenomena that take place on several different levels.
A South American farmer, who rents the land he cultivates, has a conflict about terms of lease with the landowner. Is the conflict a personal conflict between them, or is it really a conflict between all farmers and landowners? Perhaps it is a cultural conflict or part of a global conflict between workers and capitalists in the capitalistic system?
A woman is beaten by her husband. Is it a just their domestic conflict or is it related to our society’s roles of gender. Perhaps their conflict is a part of the historical global problem about the patriarchy’s dominance of women? And so on.
Just about all conflicts can be opened and closed in the same manner as an accordion in this way. Most conflicts contain an intra-personal psychological, individual segment, an inter-personal relations segment, a civic cultural segment and a global structural segment. It is important to at least attempt to have a more overall picture of the conflict and see the connections between the conflict on an individual level, a structural level and civic cultural level. That conflicts can be made visible in this way demonstrates that conflict management within us or between us is of importance to the structures and culture around us and vice versa.
All creative conflict management should work both with managing “personal” conflicts and with changing negative structures. Not the least important is to see both levels and how they influence one another.
Kari Utas Carlsson, a school doctor who in 1999 took a doctors degree in pedagogic with the thesis Violence Prevention and Conflict Resolution: A Study of Peace Education in Grades 4-6,52 has identified two paradigms of power. Utas Carlsson proposes that through extensive development of the knowledge of conflict and the growing peace culture in society a new paradigm is emerging. The older war culture with acceptance of violence, a win-lose situation and right or wrong guidelines still prevails. In the new paradigm the frames are different. Even this model can be used with advantage, on different levels, from interstate conflicts to personal conflicts.
“The personal is political and the political is personal”
Fear of conflict and conflict avoidance.
Many of us are more or less afraid of conflicts. We think that conflicts are unpleasant and disagreeable.
At go to attack can seem to be the only alternative to passiveness in a conflict. Either you do nothing or you attack. It can be physical or verbal. Fortunately there is an enormous amount we can do between these two extremes.
Reacting with attack or withdrawal in conflict has partly to do with a view that conflicts are negative and partly our fear of conflict. We are frightened of losing face, of being seen as foolish, of our judgement being questioned, of being wrong, of losing the conflict, of injuring the other, of losing a relationship, that the values we care about will be lost and so on.
Most often, our conflicts are about something which is important to us in one way or another, otherwise the need for a conflict would not arise. Therefore it is not difficult to understand that we can be afraid of conflicts. Sometimes being humble can help, but often, fear is an obstacle to managing conflict in a constructive and suitable manner. We are unnecessarily frightened of meeting conflict.
Conflicts have, contrary to what many people believe, a positive connection between high productivity, positive interpersonal relations, self esteem and social competence. To manage conflicts in a creative manner one therefore need to overcome ones fear, in order to dare to meet conflicts, to remain present in them and to dare to be open and seek dialogue. To neither be defensive nor accusing characterizes non-violence, dialogue aspirations and a creative manner of managing conflict. To overcome fear we can need both help and support from each other.
At the same time as our ability to manage conflict increases and we develop as human beings, we learn to a greater extent and in more situations to meet and refute conflict and injustice without doing it in a violent manner. It is first when we dare to be, in the conflict or actively take a conflict that we learn how to mange them in a successful way. As long as we avoid them we learn nothing if that which is associated with a good conflict; responsibility, setting limits, respect, clarity, humbleness, the ability to listen, dialogue, flexibility, problem shooting and so on.
Of course, we will make mistakes. Of course we will be aggressive or defensive, withdraw from conflicts we do not dare to work with. Then it can be good to remember;
Understanding and analysing conflicts
This chapter is about how we can understand and analyse conflicts. It can be difficult to understand what happens when people are in conflict with one another and even more so when we ourselves are in conflict with someone. When we understand what happens it is easier to do something correct and constructive with the problem. Theories and models on the dynamics and escalation of conflict are presented below, together with need as a basic prerequisite for conflict and conflict management.
“You get good judgement
from experience, and
you get experience from
bad judgement”
The dynamics of conflict - Galtungs ABC –model
According to the Norwegian peace Researcher A-Attitudes
Conflicts can be understood as comprising of
point of issue, behaviour and attitude.
Galtung presents this model as a triangle.
B-Behaviour C-conflict issue
Galtung proposes that conflicts consist of one or several conflict issues. It is also a question of what the parties are in disagreement about or both want. Conflict conveys a certain conflict behaviour, for example raised voices, violence or silence. The consequence of this is a change in feelings and attitudes, which, in its turn changes the original conflict issue and behaviour and so on.
Let us look at an example where two people are arguing over who should wash the dishes. The initial behaviour can be that they talk and argue. As the feelings and attitude towards the other person change, so does the conflict issue which is now being accused of being lazy or stubborn. Now the conflict is no longer confined to a question of dish washing, but becomes more and more a personal issue. When the conflict issue grows, behaviour often becomes more violent and attitudes more bitter. Perhaps someone leaves the room and slams the door. The conflict escalation has moved from conflict issue to personal issue and finally violence. In the same way, naturally a conflict can de-escalate through positive behaviour and attitude.
The advantage with this method is that it gives possibilities of choice in managing conflict. Depending on the type of conflict, we can intervene, or work with, behaviour, attitude or conflict issue. A possibility is to stop conflict behaviour B, influence feelings and attitudes A, solve conflict issue C, or perhaps use the sequence B-C-A.
It is often just the top of the conflict which is visible (the so called “iceberg principle”). Under the surface there can be unconscious and/or unspoken aspects:”hidden agendas”. To be able to solve the conflict it is important to be able to see the whole “iceberg”. Otherwise one risks using a lot of energy solving a problem which is just a cover up for the underlying conflict.
Glasl´s Nine-stage model of Conflict Escalation
The German trouble shooter Friedrich Glasl has shown how a conflict develops and escalates in the form of a stairway.53 The model is built on how parties communicate with each other and what notions they have about each other and themselves. The point with the stairway going downwards is that it is very easy to descend and much more difficult to ascend. It is as if the stairway was slippery. Another reason for it descending is that awareness becomes less in the concerned parties. They do not have full control over their behaviour and do not clearly see the consequences their behaviour has on others. Additionally, the notions of the other part and self become more and more distorted.
Sometimes it can be difficult to realise when we take a step down the conflict stairway. The first step may seem quite innocent but if we are not observant the conflict can easily worsen. It is easier to turn upwards while the conflict is still high up on the stairway. Therefore, it is essential to recognise the signals when descending the stairway. At the same time as it is easy to slip down a step on the conflict stairway, there is the whole time energy which stops us, small thresholds which we hesitate to cross. The situation can arise where one party feels extremely involved in a conflict while the other party does not experience involvement at all.
The Nine Stage stairway is a good tool of analysis both for understanding both how serious conflicts can be and for preparing a management strategy for the conflict. Sometimes, knowing where we are on the conflict stairway and where we are going to can help infuse the will to start upwards again.
Stage 1 One sided notions
The first stage contains three steps and here the parties are focussed on conflict issue. The parties argue for their issues which they consider correct and good. During the process they become more and more one sided listening less and less to one another becoming narrower and narrower in their conception of the conflict issue. The parties still wish to behave in a reasonable manner. Now and then they become frustrated and disappointed, which can be experienced by the other part as anger and that the issue is extremely important for her/him. The listening part can feel hard pressed or believe that the other is angry with her/him personally, which leads to a sharper conversational tone.
1. The first step on the stairway is characterised by discussion and argumentation. Both parties seek strong and good arguments for their opinions.
At an institution for homeless men, the social doctor’s team had regular meetings with the rehabilitation personnel belonging to that area. During the meetings, the same pattern was repeated every time: The social inspector and the chief for rehabilitation argued –they could seldom agree about the “old men”. The rest of the personnel sat and listened and drank coffee. Nobody intervened in the discussion. No constructive decisions were made about the “old men”.
During this stage the participants have not yet started working out tactics for the next discussion.
2. The next step is about debate and polarization. During the discussion it is easy to stop listening or lose interest in the other party’s opinions. The result is that concentration on ones own opinions increases and that argumentation begins to sound more and more like a gramophone record stuck in a groove. Think about meetings you have been present at where the same people meet many times. It is often the same people who are active in discussion. Finally you can say, in advance, what one will say to the other. Now, arguments for ones own points of view are collected, and argumentation becomes more calculated. It is more about collecting points and “winning” the debate than the conflict issue. A tactical move could be to push the other party’s argument to the extreme to show how absurd it is or use “smart comments”.
In a discussion on social allowance for the homeless, between two school pupils, one of them took up the fact that 200 homeless die every year The other reacted by saying how much had already been paid out by the “Social Services”. When one asked the other if she/he knew a homeless person, the reply was “No, and I am grateful for that, they are just lazy and cheat to live well on the maintenance”.
We see from this example that the parties have researched on figures and that they are using arguments which are steadily hardening, and are getting close to the stage where the other party becomes a problem. It is easy to anticipate what they could say to one another. “That bl-dy snob” or “that bl-dy communist!” Politics is habitat number one in the debate. We have over the years seen many examples of politicians who are/were absolute masters at showing up the opponents “stupid” arguments. In politics this is accepted. Afterward they go and drink coffee together and are the best of friends. It was interesting to follow the debate on the EMU (European Monetary Union), soon after the murder of Anna Lind, (Foreign Minister of Sweden). The debate was on the level of a dialogue. A normal debate was not possible.
3. The third step is about steamrollering. The involved parties no longer see any point in talking to one another. It becomes necessary to act and let the clarity of action speak. “Now the other party must realize that this alternative is the “correct” one”. Everything spoken and done becomes subject to interpretation, which means that it can be easy to fall down another step.
Most often, the party doing the steamrollering, experiences that he or she is doing it for the best. The other party will understand. Sometimes a change may be effected at a place of work, when one of the party’s is on holiday. At a hospital clinic the rest of the personnel took measures concerning a patient whose contact person was on holiday. Prior to the holiday, all were in agreement that just “those measures” should not be carried out. On return from holiday, the contact person felt steamrollered. In addition to the steamrollering a feeling of violation can occur, which in turn can create great anger and the need for revenge. When this occurs at a place of work it is not unusual that the injured party goes on the sick list. To leave an unfinished situation in this manner bodes no good for solving the conflict or understanding why the party’s acted as they did. An example by expression could be “They did that just because I am an immigrant/woman/a nursing attendant!” A conflict is both parties’ responsibility.
The less we talk to one another, the more fear we feel, for what the other will do. The further down the conflict stairway, the more negative the interpretation of the other party’s actions and words, and of course the opposite.
Finally, no matter what is said, it will not be interpreted positively. Feel the conflict between a teenager and parent; where the parent can easily feel that nothing he/she says or does is right.
Stage 2 The other party is the problem
When we come to the second stage of the stairway of conflict, it is no longer about different points of view. Now the conflict has taken hold of the relationship between the party’s and it becomes more and more difficult to be together. Despite this there are still limits as to what they to each other.
4. As the party’s in the conflict define more stereotype pictures of one another, a clear malicious picture of the other is also defined. It becomes obvious that the other has always been the way he/she is now portrayed and that there is no hope of the person ever changing. At the same time self appears in a much better light. The parties strive to find sympathisers by telling “the truth” about the other part and emphasize their own excellence. Now everything the other says is interpreted negatively, everything confirms the negative picture of her/him.
On a hospital ward a conflict developed between the ward sister and other staff. In an interview, the other staff described the ward sister as “Hitler”. This is an ample example of serious distortion of the other part.
5. The fifth step on the stairway concerns getting the other part to expose themselves in front of outsiders and through this to lose face. In the case of the hospital ward the discussion was about who should go on a training course. The ward sister had an understanding of the criteria demanded. During the meeting one of the co-workers rang to the person responsible for training at the hospital and received totally different criteria. This incident was fatal for the whole process –now the personnel considered that they had proof that the ward sister had favourites and was incompetent in her position, she if anyone should know what was right! For her it was a terrible experience. Losing face is an extremely strong negative feeling. In can go so far as to cause suicide, this rather than having to meet the others eye to eye ever again. The ward sister in question suffered heart disease not long after this occurrence and never returned to the ward.
On the way down the stairway the participants become more and more willing to use all power and all available means to get rid of the other party who is now not to be seen as human. The picture of the others dark side becomes more prominent at the same time as ones self appears as the champion of morality.
6. The sixth step is about one or both of the parties in the conflict using strategic threats and pressure. The reason that theses threats are so serious is that they are the beginning of showing a wish to injure one another. ”If you do not……then I will…..” This is a very slippery step as threat is only effective if the person who threatens is prepared to carry it out. If I do as you say when you threaten me then I give up in the face of your pressure and threat. If I do not do as you say when you threaten me then you either risk losing face by not carrying out your threat or you slip down yet another step if you do.
In a hospital clinic there was a member of the staff who seemed a little abrupt and critical. Some colleagues immediately went to the chief to complain about how terrible this person was. The chief offered the colleagues to organise a meeting together with the person in question to clear the air. They answered that they would sooner leave than attend such a meeting. The chief then talked to the staff member and told her she would have to change her behaviour. As she could not understand what the problem was, she could not do anything about it. It is perhaps unnecessary to point out that she did not feel so good in that situation.
Stage 3 Violence, injury and destruction of the other party
This far the initial conflict issue has been central and thereafter the question of person. Now we come to the stage where the central theme is damaging the other party. In this last stage of the conflict stairway, a more warlike situation appears. The other party can be treated as a pure physical object and to these ends it seems morally justified in using any means. The involved parties regard one another as inhuman and the attitude is that the stronger is right over the weaker.
7. The first step in this stage is about a limited destruction, or limited violence. The will for a mutual solution is gone. Activity is designed to damage the other party or ruin the other party’s resources. An example of this can be one party in divorce proceedings forces the other party to sell the house even though that party wishes to continue to live there with the children.
8. Low down on the conflict stairway, the attacks become more brutal and here it is about attacking nerve centres, doing damage where it hurts most. Consideration for the other party is completely gone. Now the focus is on central areas. In Palestine the farmers’ olive harvests have been ruined or stolen, and the olive groves have been obliterated by Israeli bulldozers.
If we continue with the divorce proceeding above, we are now at a stage where one parent stops the other from having contact with their children.
9. The last step is about total destruction. The destructive energy has reached a climax as if there is no return. The conflict is total and all available energy is used to destroy the other party, even if it costs the lives of both. Suicide bombers are an example of expression for this last step. It does not matter if I die, just as long as you do.
Glasl´s Nine-stage model of Conflict Escalation
To think- Needs
A basic attitude in conflict management is “think – needs” which is illustrated by the following story.
A boy was asked what he most wished for in the entire world. Without hesitation he answered - “A red Ferrari with beige leather seats with overhead camshafts and fuel injection”. The person who asked him then said
“ Imagine you had just that, what would it give you”? The boy thought for a while and the said: “Then everyone would like me and think I was cool and…” But the question came again: Imagine that everybody liked you and thought you were cool, what would that mean”? The said, “in that case Lisa would like me…..” Imagine that Lisa liked really liked you a lot, what would that mean to you”? The boy thought for a long while and finally said ”If Lisa liked me I would feel happy and feel that I was somebody and then it would be easier for me to like myself”. What was it the boy needed?
In most conflicts we take some form of position. The boy in the story wanted a car. This position can have more or less to do with our real need. (For example the boys need was to be seen and loved.) To arrive at a, ,for all parties, good solution in a conflict, cooperation or win-win solutions,54 we need to see beyond the shallow positions and that which is said ( to see “beyond the shell” in an argument) and instead focus on need. In a conflict it is easy to fasten in positions. We talk about what we want instead of why we need our lives in a particular way. When people talk about why their positions are important it is often about underlying needs. These needs must be met to achieve a solution which satisfies everyone.
To return to our example of the parent and teenage child who have a conflict about what time the teenager should be home is a good illustration. The opinion of the parent is that the teenager shall be home at 11pm. The need has to do with why mother or father wish this, it can be that be knowing that the teenager is in safety, or not to have to worry that something will happen on the way home. What are the sons or the daughter’s needs? When both speak of their needs instead of fastening in a position a solution can be reached.
According to Johan Burton, a prominent conflict management figure inspired by among others Johan Galtung, the majority of conflicts occur due to frustrated universal human needs, ( for example being appreciated, feeling loved, feeling good, integrity etc). If it is our frustrated needs that are the basic cause of our conflicts then often it will not help if we only solve that which the conflict is about. To manage conflict on a more long term basis we need instead to listen and try to understand the basic needs of those involved and find creative ways of meeting them.
Mapping
Conflict and confusion are often connected with each other. Understanding what is happening can help the parties in a conflict which is at a deadlock. Mapping a conflict can help us understand what is happening. There are different models of mapping and the one we are showing is based on needs and fears. Fears are that which we are afraid of that which could happen if we do not achieve the goal the conflict is about for us. Fears reflect our needs, but can also add new perspectives. A mapping can be done individually or in a group. This is what a mapping can look like:
1. Find a description of the question or problem which is acceptable to all parties. It should preferably be formulated in neutral and general terms in order that involved persons do not fasten in formulations. It should not be written as a question. A word can be enough.
2. Make a list of the conflicts different parties, all that are involved. Sometimes the list can be much longer than expected.
Try to work out what the parties have the positions they have:
What are the needs?
What are the fears?
Draw a circle with a small circle in the centre. In the small circle write the point of issue.
Who? Who?
Need Need
Fear Fear
?
Who? Who?
Need Need
Fear Fear
In the large circle, which is divided into sectors, write the names of each person or group involved in the “problem”.
Then write the persons or groups needs in each sector. Draw more circles if there are many parties. Try to see what motivates the parties.
Write down the persons or groups fears or what they worry about. This will give a good overall picture of both needs and fears.
This circle now becomes a map of the conflict. At the same time as the map is created, the point of issue will need reformulation. More and new maps will be needed to describe new problem areas that arise.
The use of maps in this way can sometimes be a problem as conflict can be complex, but by trying to understand a conflict with a simple map, the complexity can be shown. Achieving a common problem formulation can be a big step towards the solution.
In the case with the parent
and the teenager an sms
from her/him to the
parent saying everything
is ok, might be enough.
Managing conflicts in a creative manner
Many think that conflicts are hard work and that conflict management is difficult. In a way, this is true. We can also turn that around and say that we are all experts on the subject. We manage conflicts with our parents, our sisters and brothers, our mates and friends, our student and work colleagues thousands of times. We must have learnt something.
The truth is that conflict management is about our relations and when theses are brought to a head or tested. Many that start learning about conflict management hope to find a good technique or model which makes it easier to manage conflicts successfully. Unfortunately it does not really work like that.
Attitudes and training
Conflict management is not about magic, but rather about attitudes and training. Through reflection, discussion and training in the management of conflicts we can alter our attitude. By learning about new tools and models we can get the courage to try. We need to train conflict management again and again, both in reality and in a secure environment such as the training situation, to become better and of course we can be better! Reading about conflict management is about the same as reading about tennis. We do not automatically become better tennis players, but we can get some new ideas and tips on how we could improve our play. By repeated training we can assimilate new habits and instinctive reflexes in our conflict management. It is not enough to think it; it must be felt, as an integral part of me.
“The problem with
the world is that the
stupid are so certain
and the wise are so
full of doubt”
Bertrand Russell
Trust and Generosity
Two basic building stones in conflict management are trust and generosity. This is something which exists, more or less, in our daily relations and even more so with our friends. When we get into conflicts with one another the risk is that both these qualities become lessened and become damaged. There is also the possibility that they can become deepened and heal. In the majority of near or daily conflicts it is in our interest to move on together after trust has been damaged. In exactly the same way as our trust and generosity can be come damaged in a negative conflict, we can do much in a conflict to improve and strengthen trust and generosity with those we are in conflict with. Two example of this are the Unconditional Constructive Strategy and GRIT (see next pages).
The Parties own the conflict.
Finally, it is important that when we intervene and help others manage conflict that we remember that it is the conflict parties that own their conflict. If someone is at an obvious disadvantage and is being hurt then it is not only our right but our duty to intervene. It is also important to remember that, if possible, it is best if the involved parties can solve the conflict themselves. If we intervene in an incorrect way, we risk not accepting the parties responsibility and ability to manage the conflict themselves and thereby strengthen them and encourage them to manage their conflict in a constructive manner.
The unconditional constructive strategy
Conflicts in themselves are seldom bad. Unfortunately they are often destructive. The basic question in this context is therefore not how we can avoid or abolish conflicts as far as possible, but how we can transform our destructive conflicts into constructive conflicts or creative mutual problem solutions. A group of conflict researchers at Harvard Negotiation Project joined forces and developed what they call “The Unconditional Constructive Strategy”. The thought behind this strategy is that when we are in conflict we have most to win by being unconditionally constructive towards each other. Irrespective of what the other party does we refuse to be destructive and try, the whole time, to be constructive and find constructive solutions.
This wise strategy can be summed up with the words: “Even if…..then….”
Even if you…..lie then I will…..be completely truthful and straight…….
Even if you…...try to deceive me then I will….seek what is best for both and refuse to be manipulated…..
Even if you…..slander me then I will….. emphasize your good points in public…..
GRIT, or the art of starting a positive spiral
Many conflicts can be described as a negative spiral, (compare conflict stairway). The question is how does one break a negative spiral or even start a positive spiral? GRIT is a method for just this. GRIT stands for “Graduated Reciprocation in Tension-reduction” and is a type of de-escalation of conflict. An easy way to understand how GRIT works is perhaps with an example from the Cold War days.
The arms race had reached unprecedented heights of madness. As soon as one side increased their weapon arsenal, the other followed suit for safety’s sake. This lead to a continuum. The Cold War was in many ways a continuous battle for military superiority between the Superpowers. Against this background one can understand Reagan’s surprise when Gorbatjov contacted Reagan and informed him that USSR had disarmed a certain type of robot and what could Reagan do as a sign of goodwill55. Hardly had Reagan disarmed something before Gorbatjov again contacted Reagan and informed him that USSR had disarmed another missile. Gorbatjov now wondered if the USA could get left behind in the disarmament spiral that had started.
By a one sided step in a positive direction without demanding something from the other party, but with a strong invitation to the other to follow suit and show the advantages of doing so, one can in the best case start a positive spiral. It is important to note that one does not move forward too quickly or too one sided. Gorbatjov did not disarm all in one move, but step for step and waited for the USA. Sometimes the USA did not answer and then Gorbatjov applied pressure. As soon as the USA took a positive step then the USSR disarmed again. The arms race spiral had changed into a form of disarmament spiral.
“There is in principle
only one principle
we can be sure of
and that is the
principle that most
principles take an
opposite course when
driven to the extreme
Therefore we must,
sometimes be prepared
to desert our principles
in order to be faithful
to them.”
Klaus Engell-Nielsen
The Zoo of Conflicts, conflict managements five dimensions
Human beings have different personalities and manage conflicts in different ways. Some of us give as good as we get if we do not agree on things. Others of us swallow most things for the sake of peace and quiet. We can also as separate individuals react differently on different occasions, depending on what the conflict is about or with whom we are having the conflict. The way we handle conflicts is often grounded in our childhood. A little simplified we can say that we have learnt conflict management from our parents, or our childhood friends. That is not to say that we cannot develop, change and improve our style of conflict management.
Tomas Kihlman has described five different basic conflict management styles with the help of animals. These five different styles also represent five different dimensions in conflict management that are all important in different ways when we are together and particularly when we get into conflict. The different management styles can be both good or bad depending on the circumstances. Finally, it is always a question of the occasion which decides which of the different conflict styles or conflict dimensions we use in a conflict.
In the zoo of conflicts there are
Lion Owl
“sets limits” “Holistic view”
The ability
to assert Fox
ones own “ability to compromise”
needs
Turtle Camel
“without prestige” “flexibility/solidarity”
The ambition to meet the needs of others
The Lion is good at sounding off and authoritative behaviour. The lion will with pleasure convey his opinions and assert his needs. The lion is good at setting limits and retaining his integrity. The lion is strong and can often steamroller others. It is good, that as a lion is able to sound off and convey his opinions, but not if it is done at the cost of the other party.
The Turtle withdraws under his shell in the face of a conflict. He neither expresses his opinions or listens to the needs or wishes others. Turtles are good at not fasting in detail and they are without prestige. Avoiding a conflict usually mean that it will return at a later date. The risk is that it will have worsened and become more infected.
The Camel is big and strong and can therefore carry a lot. The camel can put up with a lot to avoid getting into conflict. “I will look after this just as long as there is no trouble”. The camel is pleased to meet the needs of others but ignores his own needs. The camel can seem humble but can also show himself flexible, loyal and considerate. This can be a good way of meeting a conflict for the moment but the risk is that the camel will one day have had enough of capitulating in conflict situations and they will come to the surface again and explode.
The Fox is the master of the middle way. To compromise is an important catchword for the fox. “If we take half then we will both be satisfied”. Compromise is seen by many as positive and for some as the absolutely best solution, where both win a little. It can be important to note that while both win a little, both lose a little, nobody has all their needs met. A compromise is often therefore seen to solve the conflict on the surface.
The Owl is circumspect and cooperative. He listens to what the other party has to say and says what is important to him or herself. The owl digs deeper into the conflict and seeks to find the underlying needs, which are behind that which the parties say they want. Acting as the owl in a conflict situation is that which often has the greatest chance of leading to a lasting solution. The owl conveys his needs and fears and listens to the other party’s needs and fears and is open to new solutions and cooperation. The owl represents, without doubt, the ideal conflict solution, with his holistic, needs thinking and ambition for a win-win solution. As many conflicts are about power, justice and injustice, truth and lies, it is not always possible to find a win-win solution, but that someone must to a certain extent lose for it to be just. An exaggerated compliance to find win-win solutions can be an obstacle in the way of justice and solidarity for those who are the victims.
The result is very important
Competition Cooperation
I win – you lose I win – you win
Compromise
Negotiation
Relationship is less important Relationship is very important
Avoidance Submission
I lose – you lose I lose – you win
The result is less important
It is important that the diagram differentiates between behaviour and result. The behaviours presented above are those we are most likely to use, depending on how much we are involved in the conflict issue and how much we care about the person we are in conflict with. The result of the conflict could be described as:
If we have zero sum reasoning we move diagonally between competition and submission. The only possibility we see is winning or losing. To win, I must do everything to ensure that you lose. The attitude is that the sum of the parts is zero. As an example, imagine that two people want an orange. According to zero sum reasoning we can cut the orange in pieces of different size, or alternatively give the whole orange to one person.
If we move along the other diagonal, “the cake” lessens or increases. In the case of the orange, a conceivable scenario could be that either nobody gets anything, that “negotiations take so long that the orange becomes
rotten, or that a third person comes and takes the orange. The other extreme could be that there is also an apple which one of the parties would prefer. In this case both get fruit and both are satisfied. We can also ask the parties why they want the orange. One is thirsty and wants the juice; the other is hungry and wishes to bake a cake. The solution is then, that the cake-person grates the orange peel, and then the juice-person presses out the juice to drink.
Working with conflict on different levels
Professor John Paul Lederach, in his book. Just Peace goes through the different levels of society during a conflict. He divides society into three levels. The highest level consists of official, nationally important leaders and negotiations. The middle level consists of somewhat less important leaders and other authorities such as experts and intellectuals. The lowest level consists of the local leadership and other persons having influence on smaller groups in society. On each of theses levels one works with different methods of approach to tackle the conflicts.
Few
PARTICIPANTS METHODS OF PEACE
CREATION
Level 1: The leading officials Focus on negotiations on a high
-Military/politicians/religious. level, with the aim of achieving
Leaders with very much e.g. cease fire.
attention on them.
Level 2: Middle level leaders -Problem solving `workshops`
-ethnic/religious leaders -conflict management training
intellectuals Peace Commissions
Humanitarian leaders (NGOs)
Level 3: Grass root leaders -Local peace commissions
-
Many
local leaders and other -Grass root training
local key figures Reducing prejudice
-domestic NGOs
*NGO = Non-state organisation
An increasing number of peace researchers (among others Robert Ricigliano) stress the importance of peace work on all three levels. The risk is that by just focussing on International Peace Treaties and ignoring the middle leadership and grass roots when an agreement is reached it is not rooted in the whole population. In the same way an agreement on the local level will little or no influence on `the big` conflict. In both cases there is no holism. Good solid work on one of the levels can create a spill over effect, which encourages progress in the other levels.
To better be able to coordinate efforts on the different levels, different participants who work with peace building need to increase their cooperation. This creates a delicate problem when organising a joint action between a nonviolence organisation and military peace keeping forces.
Conflicts and communication
One of the most important tools you have as a conflict manager is communication. Many conflicts arise out of, or escalate as a result of a lack of communication. It can depend on cultural differences, age, sex or just ignorance about the other party. With communication we mean both the ability to talk and listen. Being able to listen to your opposite party is one of the most important supports in conflict management. If you do not show interest in the other persons needs, fears and interests that he/she will not do it for you.
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