VIJAY Lekin baki logo se kya kahenge? Sunil

Lekin baki logo se kya kahenge?

Yehi ki coach hi humari haar ki vajah hai.

Aisa hum maidan par sochate to ninyanawe nahi sirf attahanawe baar hi harate.

(laughing.)

Lekin bowlers tujhe sochane ka mauka jo nahi dete.
ANIL

(trying to avoid Vijay's joke about him.)

To phir coach badalana tay raha?
All look at Anil and laugh again.
EXT. DAY- SANJIT’S TOWN
Sanjit comes out of a bus with Sunil. Vijay, Anil and other members of the team are trailing them.
SANJIT

Yeh hai mera chhota sa pyara sa shaher Kachipur. Dekhana thodi hi der me yahan mere fans ikattha ho jayenge. Koi hath khichega to koi pair khichega. Kuchh log to sidhe gale hi pad jayenge. Utana pyar karate hai yahan ke log mujhe. Yahi par milega hume hamara agala coach.

(saying sarcastically, looking at the team and rubbing tobacco.)

Aa gaye phir se haar kar, apani mari hui surate dikhane.
Funny music plays. Sanjit looks down in shame.
SECOND GUY

Chalate to hai aise jaise duniya jit kar aaye ho.

Haan. Humane inhe sar par jo chaddha rakha hai. Hum to chalate hai bhaiya. Hum ko aur bhi bahot se kaam hai.

Hum ko bhi Post Office jana hai aur phir inako dekh kar hume kahin koi ashubh samachar na sunane pade.

(to his team.)

Shayad inhone mujhe dekha nahi hoga.
SUNIL

(taunting.)

Ya dekhana nahi chahate hain.
Others laugh. Sanjit stares. Players walk by small crowd. Some people from crowd look at players but don’t look back. Sanjit doesn’t like it. On reaching near crowd players find out that crowd is watching a monkey doing tricks. Sanjit’s embarrassed.
SANJIT

(walking away from crowd.)

Shayad kisi ko pata nahi hai ki hum yahan aaye hain.
Just then one guy notices them.
ONE GUY

(loudly.)

Lo bhai hamare kaptaan aa gaye hain.
Sanjit looks away.
SECOND GUY

(taunts.)

Inhe to ab harane ki aadat si pad gayi hai.
THIRD GUY

(pointing at monkey.)

Inase achha to yeh bandar hai jo hararoz thik khel kar ke dikhata hai. Ek gulati maar kar to dikha beta Kappu.
Monkey flips in slow-motion and winks. Third guy sneers at players. They are watching the monkey in shame.
THIRD GUY

(to second guy.)

Inhe to doob marana chahiye.
SECOND GUY

Thik kahete ho bhai.

Yeh log to bahot gusse me hai.

Wo shayad isaliye kyunki hum kayi dino se yahan aaye nahi hain. Thodi der me sab shant ho jayenge.

Do mahino pahele hi to aaye the. Tab bhi yahi haal tha.

Do nahi chhe mahino pahele aaye the. Teri memory slow ho gayi hai. Ise Hard Disk ki zarurat hai.

Mujhe bahot pyas lagi hai. Kya kahin se pani mil sakata hai?

(looking at women.)

Inase mangate hai. (Goes near women and asks them.) Bahenji thoda pani de sakati ho? Hume bahot pyas lagi hai.
FIRST WOMAN

Kaun ho bhai?

(put off.)

Hum cricketers hain. (swinging hands.) Cricket khelate hain.
SECOND WOMAN

Kriketars? Yani ki jo TV par khelate hain?

(happily.)

Haan haan wahi.
FIRST WOMAN

Dekho babu pani chahiye to khud hi bhar lo. (Sanjit’s friends almost laugh.) Ek to haar jate ho (Turning at second woman.) upar se roz-roz hamare marad ki kit-kit sunani padati hai ki bhai haare to haare kyon? Na tem par khate hai aur na hi tem par sote hain.

Thik kaha bahen.

(asking for rope.)

Achha dijiye.
Woman hands him the rope. He pulls jug out but drops it on his feet and spills water on himself. His teammates laugh.
SANJIT

(wiping clothes.)

Ek to pani hai kam upar se jitana bhara tha woh bhi gira diya. Aur pani nahi de sakate hai sahab.

Please! Hume thodi dur jana hai.

Nahi sahab.

(breathing hard.)

Tere shaher me to hume pani bhi nasib nahi hota hai.
SANJIT

(defensively.)

Shayad mere fans ko is baat ka gussa hai ki hum haar gaye lekin gussa karana in ka hak hai.
SUNIL

(sarcastically.)

Achha? Kuchh zyada hi hak jata rahe the tere (doing gesture of quotes.) "fans."
Vijay cuts in between their conversation.
VIJAY

(asking tiredly to Sanjit.)

Tera ghar aur kitani door hai?
SANJIT

(tiredly and breathlessly.)

Yahan se bas aur adha kilometer door hai.
SUNIL

(breathing hard.)

Lekin aisa lagata hai jaise chand jitana door ho.
VIJAY

(in smart-alecky tone.)

To phir rocket me chalate hain.
ANIL

(with serious expressions.)

Mere pairo me dard ho raha hai. (Turning to Sanjit and joking.) Tere rocket me baithane ki jagah milegi ya local train ke jaise darwaze par latak kar jana padega?
They laugh.
SANJIT

(jokingly.)

Bahot has rahe ho. Yeh bhi yaad rakhana ki main is team ka captain hoon. Mere sath mazak karoge to team se bahar kar dunga.
ANIL

(laughing.)

We are sorry captain!
CUT-TO:
A long shot of the four reaching Sanjit’s apartment. Fade.
INT. NIGHT - SANJIT’S APARTMENT
Sanjit is talking to his father Ritindar Shrama.
RITINDAR

Beta kya tumhe mujhase kuchh baat karani thi?

Haan papa. World cup karib hai aur hum bahot waqt se harate hi ja rahe hain. Isaliye humane apana coach badalane ka faisala kiya hai. Maine suna hai ki bhutpurva cricket coach Chandra Raja ab yahan ke gym me kushti ladate hai. Papa hum unase milana chahate hain.

To phir kal subah ko hi wahan chalate hain beta.

Ok papa.
CUT-TO:

(in loudest possible voice.)

TO PESH HAI CHANDRA AUR SURYA KE BICH YEH AKHARI MUQABALA. KRIPAYA DIL KE MARIZ YEH KHEL NA DEKHE.
The fight begins. Two wrestlers named Surya and Chandra charge at each other and avoid each other’s punches first. We hear commentary in voiceover.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

(speaking loudly.)

Surya aur Chandra ek dusare ki aur baddh kar ek dusare ko punch karana chahate the lekin dono hi chuk gaye hain.
The audience cheer fills the fight except for sounds of blows and referee's whistles. Chandra finds a chance and punches Surya.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

Chandra ne mauka dekh kar Surya ko zabardast punch maar diya hai. Surya ko to jaise din me taare dikh rahe honge.

Surya ne bahot sfrurti se Chandra ke peit par de mara hai aur chaturai se unake samane se hat gaye hain. Bechare Chandra sirf dekhate hi reh gaye.

Chandra aakraman karane ke liye daud laga rahe hain aur Surya tak pahoch gaye hain lekin Surya ek baar phir tezi se samane se hat gaye hain. Chandra ke paas adhik options nahi hai. Unake liye Surya behad takatavar pratidwandi sabit ho rahe hain.

Surya ne Chandra ko khicha aur ring ki dusari aur fek diya hai.

Chandra khade ho kar Surya par kud gaye hain. Unhone sher ki tarah Surya ko pachhad diya hai.

Surya lahu-luhan ho gaye hain lekin phir bhi woh Chandra ko baju kar ke khade ho gaye hain jaise ki Chandra ka koi vajud hi nahi hai. Bahot achhe Surya!

Dono ek dusare ki aur josh ke sath aage baddhe hain aur ek dusare se takara gaye hain.

Dono gir pade hain. Mujhe lagata hai dono ko Bournvita pine ki zarurat hai. (laughs.)

Ab Surya Chandra par haavi ho gaye hain aur unhe farsh par leta kar jakad kar rakha hai. Referee ne tin tak ginana shuru kar diya hai.

Lekin Chandra sahi samay par utth khade hue aur ab dono hi ek dusare ko pit rahe hain.

Surya ne Chandra ki shirt khich kar use fad diya hai. Chandra ne shirt utaar kar fek di hai. Prekshako me romanch hai. Woh Chandra ke dole-shole dekh kar bahot khush ho gaye hain.

Referee ne dono pahelwano ko kapade khichane ke sambandh me sawadhan kiya hai.

(loudly.)

Yeh hum kya dekh rahe hain. Yahan par bahot hi mazakiya kisam ka hadasa ho gaya hai. Chandra ne awesh me aakar Surya ki pant utaar di hai.
Surya’s pants come down. His red underwear can be seen. There is laughter in audience at the sight of his underwear. Surya is pulling his pants back up.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

Prekshako ko hasi aa rahi hai. Surya apani pant upar kar rahe hain.

Chandra ne Surya ko vyast dekh kar punch kar diya hai. Chandra ke is move se prekshako me bahot had tak narazagi hai. Woh Chandra ka tiraskar kar rahe hain.

(loudly.)

Ohhhh no! Is baar Surya ne Chandra ki pant utaar di hai. Chandra apani pant upar kar rahe hain. Prekshak ek baar phir is nautanki ko dekh kar has rahe hain.
Then Surya slaps around Chandra and punches him on floor when he’s pulling his pants up. Chandra bleeds.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

Surya ne Chandra ko bahot pita aur unhe farsh par pachhad diya hai. Chandra ko khoon aa raha hai.

Referee ne dono ko ek baar phir kapade khichane ke baare me savadhan kiya hai. Usake baad Chandra ne behad josh se Surya ko pachhad diya hai aur rassi ke upar chaddh rahe hain. Prekshako me unmad chhaya hua hai.

Chandra rassi ke upar chaddh gaye hain. Surya khade hue hai aur hamala karane ki soch rahe hain magar yahan par bazi palat gayi hai. Ulate Chandra hi Surya ke upar kood gaye hain. Prekshak Chandra ka hausala baddha rahe hain.

(loudly.)

Lekin Surya bahot sfurti se baju ho gaye hain. Chandra farsh par gir pade hain. Aisa malum hota hai ki unhe kamar par gehari chot lagi hai.
Surya goes out of the ring and finds a chair. Audience roars.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

(loudly.)

Surya ring ke bahar gaye aur kursi utha kar Chandra ki aur baddh rahe hain. Prekshako ek baar phir bahot utsah me hain.
Chandra doesn’t know what’s going on and is groaning in pain on floor. Surya climbs inside the ring.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

Chandra ko yeh samajh me nahi aa raha hai ki woh kare to kya kare. Woh is waqt to farsh par pade-pade karah rahe hain. Surya ring ke andar dakhil ho chuke hain.

(loudly.)

Chandra ne Surya ko andar aate hue dekh liya hai. Prekshako me unmad ka vatavaran hai.
Surya chases him around the ring with chair held high. Chandra looks behind and continues running.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

(loudly.)

Surya Chandra ke pichhe daud rahe hain.
Surya throws chair on Chandra from behind. Chandra moves away. Chair goes slamming on floor.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

Surya ne Chandra ko kursi fenk kar mari hai. Chandra baju ho gaye hain. Kursi unake baju me giri hai.

(very very loudly.)

Chandra ne kursi uthayi aur Surya ke sar par de maari hai. Surya gir pade hain aur aisa pratit ho raha hai ki woh apana hosh thoda thoda kho rahe hain.
Chandra goes on top of him and holds him down on floor. Audience roars in applause. Referee starts counting three. Audience counts along verbally with referee.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

(loudly and with excitement.)

Chandra ekdum hi bazi palatate hue Surya ke upar havi ho gaye hain. Unhe farsh par jakad rakha hai. Referee count karana shuru karane hi wale hain.
Referee hits the floor. Audience shouts.
AUDIENCE

ONE!
Both grapple but Surya can’t move Chandra away from him.

(loudly and with excitement.)

Surya Chandra ko apane upar se uttha ne ki jee-tod koshish kar rahe hain lekin aisa karane me asafal rahe hain.
Referee hits the floor once more.
AUDIENCE

(loudly.)

TWO!
Surya is still on floor.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

(very loudly and with excitement.)

Prekshako me unmad chhaya hai. Woh bhi referee ke sath-sath count kar rahe hain.
Referee hits the floor third time.
AUDIENCE

(very loudly.)

THREE!
Ending bell rings. Crowd roars.
VO OF COMMENTATOR

(very excitedly.)

Chandra yeh muqabala jit gaye hain. Surya farsh takate reh gaye hain aur Chandra ne ek sher ki bhanti unhe paraast kar diya hai. Chandra ko hum sab ki aur se bahot bahot badhaiya ho.
Chandra wins. Referee lifts his hand and shows it to the crowd. Sanjit and his team applaud Chandra.
INT. SAME TIME - CHANDRA’S DRESSING ROOM
Chandra is dressed in casual clothes. Chandra's guards usher Sanjit and his friends inside. Chandra sees them.
CHANDRA

Sanjit Sharma? Sunil Singh? Vijay? Anil? Aap log yahan kaise? Kahiye kaise yaad kiya is nachiz ko?

Kaisi baat kar rahe ho aap? Aap jaisa wrestler to sare desh me nahi hai. Jit ke liye badhai ho.

Shukriya. Kahiye main aap ke liye kya kar sakata hoon?

Woh baat dar asal yeh thi Chandraji ki hum aap ko is saal hone wale world cup ke liye apana coach banana chahate hain.

(thinks for a second.)

Neki aur puchh puchh? Main taiyar hoon.
EXT. DAY- TRAINING GROUND
Cricketers are training on ground. One player is listening to radio. SONG “Hum honge kamayab, hum honge kamayab” is playing. In a corner sweaty coach Singh is shouting and swearing at some players amid the radio song. Players ignore him. One guy is stretching his hands and hits a guy near him in eyes. SONG continues to play in BG. Somewhere on ground two players are running. A girl is waving at them from crowd. They gaze at her and crash in each other and fall. Two other guys are running in circles holding bats. A dog chases them, barking and gritting teeth. They throw bat at him and run. Dog bites bat. Song fades. In coach's corner some journalists approach him. Coach Singh turns to journalists. Journalists asks him some questions.
FIRST JOURNALIST

Hello coach Singh. Mera pahela sawal yeh hai ki world cup ke liye is baar hamari rananiti kya hogi?

Is wakt hum kuchh bhi nahi kahe sakate.

Kuchh to bataiye.

Maine kaha na hum is wakt kuchh nahi kahe sakate?

Kahi aisa to nahi hai ki aap har game ka nasib players par chhod dete ho taki aap ko haar ki badanami na jhelani pade?

Isame badanami kaisi? (looking at team on playground.) Team me haar-haar to (Realizing his mistake and turning at journalists.) mera matalab hai ki haar-jit to hoti hi raheti hai. Agala sawal puchhiye.

Kya team fix ho chuki hai?

(laughing)

Fix? Aap kehana kya chahate hai?
Other journalists laugh too. Coach stares at them without saying anything. Third journalist explains.
THIRD JOURNALIST

Fix se inaka matalab hai ki kya team tay ho chuki hai?

(coach doesn't find the joke funny and looks at them in anger.)

Haan. Sare solah khiladiyo ke naam press ko de diye gaye hai.
FOURTH JOURNALIST

(doubtfully.)

Humane suna hai ki Vijay Rathod ko chot lagi hai? Kya yeh sach hai aur agar sach hai to yeh chot unhe kaise lagi?
COACH

Haan yeh sach hai. Unhe batsman ke haatho se bat chhut kar lag gayi thi. World cup tak thik ho jayenge.

Kya Vishal aaye-gaye ko team me jagah milegi?

Nahi.
FIRST JOURNALIST

Kyun nahi?
COACH

Kyunki team me sirf gyarah khiladi hote hain.

Aur phir aaye-gaye kya fark padata hai? Maine thik kaha na Mr. Singh?

(stops laughing.)

Hamare bowlers ke bare me aap ki kya ray hai?
COACH

Bowlers ko bowling karani chahiye. Yehi ray hai.

Pichhali baar Australiai ballebaz Michael Walts ne Tutan Dev ko chhe gendo me chhe chauke mare the phir bhi unhe team me jagah kyun di gayi hai?

Game me to sab kuchh jayaz hai aur phir har kisi ko dusara mauka milana chahiye. Ab aap log yahan se jaiye aur hume apana kaam karane dijiye.

Aakhari sawal. Kya cricket me betting hoti hai?

Batting nahi karenge to runs kaise banenge?

Main bookiyo wali betting ki baat kar raha hoon.

Nahi.
FIRST JOURNALIST

(to second journalist)

Hamari team par paisa rakh kar kya kisi ko bhikhari banana hai?

(angrily.)

This interview is over!
Journalists leave. Coach is walking towards playground and sees one player being bowled out.
COACH

(looking hassled and saying sarcastically to self.)

He bhagwan! Ab to mujhe jitane ke liye santoshi ma ka brat rakhana padega.
CUT-TO:
AT THE SAME TME - ON PLAYGROUND
Coach Singh is giving catching practice to some players on ground. Players throw ball at him. He hits the ball with bat towards any one of them at one time. The player catches the ball and throws it back to coach again. Coach hits it towards different player the next time and so on. Sanjit, Sunil, Vijay and Anil approach coach. Kaanchipur’s wrestler Chandra is standing behind billboards near boundary rope.
SANJIT

Hi coach. Hume aap se baat karani hai.

(hitting cricket ball with bat at some players for them to catch and saying to Sanjit.)

Kaho.
Wrestler Chandra is watching from behind the billboards.
SANJIT

Kal team ki meeting hui thi.

(Hitting the ball thrown at him by a player towards another player.)

Tum jhuth bol rahe ho. Kya meeting ka matalab bhi pata hai tum logo ko? (Turning at his trainee who has caught the catch he gave him and saying to him.) Good catch.
Sanjit continues.
SANJIT

(pointing at others and saying to coach.)

Aap khud hi puchh lijiye in sab se.
Players nod in agreement with Sanjit.
COACH

(hitting the ball at one trainee and giving the bat to another trainee saying to trainees.)

Continue boys. I'll be right back. (Then turning away from trainees to face Sanjit and saying to Sanjit.) Wah bhai! Duniya kitani jaldi badalati hai. To phir yeh batao mere kagaz ke shero ki kya paya tumane meeting kar ke?
SANJIT

Yahi coach ki agar duniya jaldi badalati hai to hume bhi badalana chahiye aur hamare sath-sath auro ko bhi badal dena chahiye.

(watching the players training each other and looking at Sanjit again.)

To phir badal do jise badalana hai. Mujhase kis janam ka badalana le rahe ho? (to trainees.) Good job boys. Keep on going.
SANJIT

(taking a look at trainees and then looking at coach to say.)

Hum...(panics and looks at Sunil, Vijay and Anil. Then turns to coach again and says.) humane badal diya hai coach.
COACH

Achha? Bahot achhi baat hai. To phir jaldi se batao kya badal diya hai?

(saying hesitatingly.)

Aa...aa...aap ko!
Chandra is happy and waits for coach’s reaction.
COACH

(looking confused.)

Kya matalab?
SANJIT

(retreats.)

Matalab yeh ki humane hamara coach badalane ka faisala kiya hai.
Sanjit looks at his team who all nod.
COACH

(trying to recover from shock.)

Kya kaha tumane? Tum logo ne mujhe badali kar diya hai?! (raising brows.) Matalab ki badal diya hai? (Laughs) Mujhe badali kar diya hai? (Laughs more) Coach Singh ko? (Laughs more then coughs and stops laughing and then shouts.) Suwar ke bachho!
Coach’s shout startles everyone including the trainees on ground and brings everything to a standstill. Chandra looks worried. Coach begins to walk slowly around Sanjit and his three friends like Gabbar Singh walked around his men in Sholay. Scary BG music from Sholay plays.