**** Chapter Twenty Nine: LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE

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Chapter Twenty Nine: LOVE SOMEBODY ELSE

I hadn’t slept through the night at all. It’s not like I hadn’t tried. I had closed my eyes, tossed and turned, counted sheep, changed the pillow, changed the comforter, changed my clothes and even turned up and turned down the lanterns but nothing helped.

Reason, as Ogaz had once told me talking of something quite different from what plagued me just then, “Because you cannot put your body to sleep when your mind is having a field day with your thoughts.”

When I stared at the ceiling or the wall or the door, I could see shadows that could be Demon. When I closed my eyes, those shadows would come to life and become Demon. I would sit up in bed and breathe, tell myself to calm down and wonder what would happen if I went into his room just then? I had barged into his bedroom before only to be pushed out immediately or be threatened to get out soon or else he’d molest me. That last bit had lost its effectiveness since I knew he never would. And now I almost wished I hadn’t stopped him that first night we’d met when he mistook me for a hooker –

Yes! Yes, those were the thoughts that had kept me up all night. It’s not that I

wanted to sleep with him; no, not exactly. But I wanted him to – to like me. I wanted a hug, or something as reassurance that he approved of me. A tender kiss would be perfect. I wasn’t looking for anything else. I knew how it felt to be held close in his arms, the touch of his lips – but that memory alone wasn’t what had triggered the fever within me. I wanted to know how he felt about me.

And since when had I ceased to see him as the evil dark lord that he was?

I had hated him that night I spent in his library. I didn't like him the day we arrived at Sikri. He was sure annoying when he gave me my first lesson, not to mention the four days that followed when he was nothing but ruthless. So when had things changed?

He was still moody, mean, conceited, weirdly caring and insanely handsome. He was still all those things that had unnerved me previously but didn't any more. Was it that he had become more tolerant of me or had I got used to him?

I didn't know.

The previous night at the tavern, when he had simply been trying to get out, I was busy looking at him. I was just sliding along by him, with him and next to him. I didn't have much memory of our escape except that he smelled divine. He had never looked more beautiful. His eyes were blue as a fresh summer sky and his smile, as he looked at others and at me, was breathtaking. And he was dancing – with me. Then in the woods, he had completely surprised me with his quiet tribute to Shehrzad’s memory. I saw a side to him I had thought nonexistent. He clearly knew pain and he knew how to respect it.

Then later at the cottage when Azure had kissed me goodnight and retired to his bedroom, I had lingered in the hallway trying to think of what I could do besides going to bed. I wasn’t sleepy. I was in turmoil and I wished I could pin down my feelings about Demon. I cared for him in spite of everything. I even loved to hate him. My head was starting to run wild with my heart. If only somebody could tell me I wasn’t crazy.

“Why are you standing here?” His voice had startled me.

I wasn’t expecting to see him since he had gone to check up on something near the stables while Azure and I had come indoors. The sight of him coming upstairs and standing opposite me in the quiet night, in that dimly lit hallway, had made me feverish. I had looked up in his eyes, wanting to say something, but words didn’t come out. He’d asked me if anything was wrong, looking concerned, but I shook my head. “Alright,” he said. “Take the morning off tomorrow. We’ll practice at noon.” “I don't want to practice anymore,” I said.

“And why not?” He used the usual jaded tone he often took with me when I said or did something he didn't like.

But I had no response. The constriction in my throat had become itchier than I could bear and I feared a flood of tears was on its way. I blinked quickly and took a deep breath.

“I’m tired.” I almost whispered.

“Yeah, me too. Go rest.” He walked over to his room that was two doors down, turned half way through and said, “Suratri,” meaning Good Night in Akina. Then he smiled and disappeared behind his door.

And in that moment, I knew. I knew that something about us would never be the same.

And even though morning had come, I was still staring at the ceiling, still thinking about him. But a tired mind can only take in so much. I took advantage of my time off and eventually went to sleep. When I woke up, the sky was pink with sunset. I for one felt refreshed and ready to step out – until I thought of Demon again. I wasn’t sure I knew how to be around him anymore.

But enough of this nonsense! I couldn’t stay shut in my room forever! I got up.

It was already evening so I decided against a shower and satisfied myself with a splash of cool water on my face. I came downstairs, quietly, cautiously. There were noises in the kitchen – people talking – Azure and Ogaz. Demon wasn’t there. Where was Demon? In the clearing where we practiced each day in the eastern woods; Azure told me. I should go; he said. So I did – after gulping down a few quick spoonfuls of Ogaz’s red lentil soup.

When I arrived at the clearing, Demon, naked to the waist, was playing with his sword. That’s what I called it when he tossed and thrust his large weapon in air as if it was a weightless stick. Tiny beads of sweat sparkled on his flawlessly tanned skin. I thought I’d swoon! The man owned more shirts than he knew what to do with, couldn’t he wear one?

He saw me coming but didn't stop or speak. Didn’t look too pleased either. I knew. I had overslept and broken another rule. Well, it was time he got over me breaking rules. “Hey,” I said, feeling all queasy.

He stopped and without a reply, went over to a tree that had another sword stuck in its roots. He pulled it out and tossed at me. I caught it easily but halfheartedly.

“Fight me.” He advanced.

“Demon –”

“What?” He stood up straight and stared at me. His eyes sparkling like two blue jewels.

I jabbed the sword in the ground near me. “I don't want to.”

“You slept the entire day!” He frowned. “I only gave you off till noon.”

“I told you last night I don't want to practice anymore. I’m done. I know everything!”

“You know nothing. You fell apart over injuring a horse.”

“It could have died for no reason!” I was angry now. “You can’t possibly be this stone hearted!”

“Don’t judge me, Aoife!” He frowned. “Pick up your weapon and strike!”

“No!”

“Aoife.” His expression darkened. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Wow,” he said slowly. “I’m so turned on.”

“Tell me something new.” I raised the sword, ready for him.

“Alright pumpkin.” His smile mocked me as he pointed his sword toward me. “Win me over.”

The ambiguity of his words was scorching. I wanted to hit him for laughing at me when all I wanted was –

I thrust my sword in and met his strength as he deflected my attack. He simply parried for a few seconds and I gained a little ground as I pushed him backward. But my triumph was short lived. He feinted to parry but spun out of the line of my blade. He countered with a quick flick of his wrist and shoved my sword to the ground. I attempted to riposte but my sword was locked up by his. Thinking quickly, I punched him in the face with my free hand. He fell backward, freeing my blade.

Demon’s face was not bloody though I thought I had hit him hard enough. We sparred again as he thrust at me. I deflected but this time he was too quick for me. He spun so that he had his back to my front. And then with a backward motion he caught my arm with his blade. A thin line of blood trickled down my forearm.

He faced me again and upon seeing my blood, he stopped – and pouted. “Damn it baby, you’re hurt!” Baby!

“I. Am. Not. Your. Baby!” I swung as if he was a block of meat and I was going to chop him in half. He calmly blocked my attack, resting on back foot and binding up our blades as he lunged forward.

“Are you sure? Baby!” He grinned, exerting pressure on me, trying to throw me off.

“Lose your cool. Lose your battle.”

Our blades were still bound between us and I knew within a heartbeat I couldn’t shove him away. He was overpowering by advantage of sheer skill but I had other plans. His own instructions from lesson one came back to me. Heel to foot! Elbow to face! And Demon fell back with a thud!

“That’s strike two!” Scowling, he quickly got back on his feet. “That’s not fencing!”

“Sorry pretty boy! I didn’t know your face was off limits in battle!” I trilled. I wasn’t going to play fair if it meant I’d lose to him.

My blood was rising as was my confidence and I struck him again. Full blade on his chest but before it could even hope to make contact – it shriveled into dust right before my eyes. And oh not just any dust – freakin’ blue dust!

“Cheater!” I snapped.

“Likewise!” He smiled as he pointed his sword at me. That usually meant game over. Though not for me!

I dropped down and quick as you can say WTH! I’d swung my left leg under his two solid feet and tripped him neatly to the forest floor. He fell on his butt and his sword flew out of his hand landing some ten feet away from him. I leapt toward the blade. A bad move. He grabbed my foot and I fell, face down into the soil. Before I could even move or get up, he was on top of me as I lay with my face down kissing the forest soil. He swiftly pinned my hands to my back and leaned forward to speak in my ear.

“Game over!”

That was his mistake. His face so close to my scalp – of course I head butted him! His grip on my hands loosened and I threw him off. My own maneuver had left me a bit dizzy. My head spun for a bit and I didn’t get up although he was off of me and down on the ground himself. When he looked back at me I saw blood trickling from his nose. I wouldn’t deny it made my heart pound faster and not in a good way. The sight of blood – his blood – wasn’t nice.

“You want to fight some more?” I lay back on the ground. I wasn’t faking it. I really was tired. More so because I knew we could fight all night and neither of us would win.

He was my perfect match as I was his – and that was awesome!

“Do you give up?” He chuckled as he got to his feet.

I sat up and frowned at him. “You know you’re such a jerk!” I threw a piece of rock at him. “You wanted practice. We did more than practice. Isn’t that good enough for you? What am I? A workout machine for you?”

“Aoife, don't get all bloody moody with me.” He frowned. “This is actually good. I knew you couldn’t bring me down but I couldn’t defeat you either so that’s nice. Means you’re about ready.”

“About ready but not completely ready. Why?”

“You’re not vicious enough. Your heart goes all soft at the sight of injury or even potential for injury.”

“I can’t believe you’re bringing that horse up again!” I shook my head in disbelief.

“No, not the horse.” He smiled. “Me.”

“What?” Oh no! Heart stoppage! What in hell was he saying? “What is that supposed to mean?” Gulp!

“You tell me.” He looked at me gravely. “A little trickle of blood from my nose and there you are having a panic attack like I’m dead! That’s not how it works in a real war. There will be countless people bleeding to death there, all very painfully and hopefully all enemies, all victims of your attack. How would you handle all that blood then?”

“You think –” I couldn’t believe he would be so thick! “You think blood makes me nervous?”

“It doesn’t?”

“No!” I stood up in frustration. “It’s you! I don't think I would get half as worked up if I killed a stranger.”

“Oh, please!” He smirked. “You went nearly crazy over a horse! A stranger will also worry you.”

“No, he wouldn’t!” I stepped closer to him to stress my point. “But you – I know you and I – you know.”

“No, I don't know.” He frowned. “Pray explain.”

I stared at him. “What if I accidently killed you during practice? You’re not exactly immortal you know. A tough blow at the right place can prove very fatal!”

“So kill me.” He chuckled. “I don't see what the problem is.”

“You’re so dumb!” How could he not see? “Don’t you see I can’t lose you because I’m – because you’re – because I’m in –” I stopped, unable to believe the words coming out of my mouth.

“You’re in what?” His smirk died instantly as he looked at my face. He stared at me for a frozen second. “What?”

Say it, Aoife! Say it, he’ll listen! Say it! I felt a surge of fresh blood heating my face. I can’t! He’ll hate me! I’ll hate me! I looked deeply into his eyes and searched for an answer, longing for this moment to last a lifetime. What am I doing? What is he doing? I felt him step away from me.

“You’re tired Aoife.” He turned to go. “Get some sleep.”

“Demon! Wait, just let me – listen!”

“Nomerv!” he said sternly. “Get some sleep.”

“Unbelievable!” I crossed my arms. “Here you were fighting me like crazy and now you’re running off like a coward! You won’t even listen to me for two seconds!”

“Ma naridush toru?” He snapped. “What do you want? You want to sleep with me? Khub! Just say so ‘cause I may be a lousy listener but hey! I’m always open to such kind invitations!”

“This is all there is to it then?” My blush was turning into fury. “This is all you ever think about?”

“Oh, I don’t think about it baby I just do it.” His eyes turned a bright fiery red. “And every whore that I’ve met wants nothing more!” “I’m not your whore!” I was stunned.

“You’re certainly acting like one!” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. “Might as well get this over with L’il Miss Innocent – let’s see you perform tonight!” I slapped him.

A stony silence fell over the forest. I could hear his heavy breathing as he slowly let go of me and stepped back. The fire of his eyes died down to dark teal. He hated me. I knew. There would never be any other emotion in those eyes for me – ever!

“Love somebody else.” He turned his back on me.

I felt the world around me shatter into a big blur. I couldn’t breathe. My mind was misty and my heart wouldn’t stop racing. I wanted to get away – needed to get away from him – get away from there. So I turned and ran – away from him – away from there.