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1
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Compare Perera, Chethana. Note, I Promise: It Won’t Be That Bad, 1 Journal of Law and Educational Policy. 2, 2 (2017) (“[t]he bluebook quiz is actually really fun! …”); with @LostSummer, Twitter, (May 28, 2016, 2:45 AM), www.twitter.com/LostSummer (quoting that “I regret everything”).
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2
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Baur, Fredric, Alexander Liepa is a Fraud: the true story of pringles, Pioneer Press Law Blog (February 1, 1971, 10:01 a.m), http://www.pplb.com/baur; Baur v. Liepa, 333 F. 3d 7, 44 (1st Cir. 1972) (stating that “Once you pop … the fun don’t stop.”).
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3
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Anne Sangry, How to passive aggressively deal with a dirty roommate, Star Tribune, (January 1, 2001, 11:53 PM), www.startribune.com/minnesotanice (“if it has been over one week, dishes ... go in her bed.”).
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4
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See Global Association of Goblins v. Griphook, 14 U.S. 227 (2010); cf. Beetle Alliance v. Rita Skeeter, 433 N.W.2d 602 (Min. 2001 (upholding the law on impersonating a vulnerable species)). but see, eg., Buckbeak v. Macnair, 243 F.2d 709 (7 Cir. 2003) (holding that the death penalty is cruel and unusual punishment for vulnerable species). See gen. Rubeus Hagrid, Blast-ended skrewts and other fluffy friends, 30 UCLA J. Animal Rights. 708, (1999) (calling for worldwide change regarding assumptions of monster species as invulnerable).
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5
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N.Y. City Zoo v. Newt Scamander, 543, N.E.2d 997, 1008 (N.Y. 1940) (Mitchell, W.M, concurring in part and dissenting in part) (emphasis added)-(quoting Matilda Gaunt v. City of Salem, 325 N.E.2d 105, 132 (N.Y. 1899).
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6
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Donald J. Trump, You're Wrong: A Guide to Increasing Twitter Followers, Buzzfeed (November 4, 2016), available at www.buzzfeed.com/you-r-wrong/09042016/123.html.
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7
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Compare Halpert v. Schrute, 522 A.2d 45, 62 (Pa., Jan 17, 2004) and Toby Flenderson v. Michael Scott, 523 A.2d 50, 74-80 (Pa 2004) with Leslie Knope v. Ron Swanson, 430 P. 3d 621-624 (Cal. 2006) and Gergich v. Ludgate, 640 P. 3d 701, 702–703 (Cal. 2006)
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8
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See Halpert v. Schrute, 522 A.2d 45, 62 (Pa. 2004); Grinch v. Augustus Maywho, 22 U.S. 60, 62 (2000) (“It’s because I’m green isn’t it?”); No Stealing Christmas Act of 2000, 35 USC §5600-5750 (2000) (“Christmas should never be stolen.”); contra 6 CFR 2000 (Nov. 2001) (“Christmas can be stolen. Halloween is more important”).
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9
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See, e.g., US Food and Drug Ass’n, Good Practice Requirements for the Brewing of Polyjuice Potion (Jan. 2017) (Providing requirements for the manufacturing of the magical Polyjuice Potion, which allows the drinker to assume another wizard’s appearance.)
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10
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See Gregory House, Everybody Lies, 368 New Eng. J. Medicine 4049, 4050-4052 (2013) (taking a pessimistic view of patient truthfulness); but see Allison Cameron, A More Positive Outlook: Why Patients Are Generally Truthful, 35 Health Affairs 4120, 4130 (2016) (“Patients are quite truthful.” (quoting James Wilson, Positive Reflections on Patient-Physician Experiences, 300 JAMA 5245, 5249 (2015).
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11
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See, e.g., Mayor of the City of Albuquerque v. Saul Goodman 399 P.3d 977, 978 (N.M. Ct. App. 2019) (“That advertisement is obnoxious.”)
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12
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Compare Ron Swanson v. Pawnee School District Board of Education 55 N.E.3d 500, 501 to 502 (Ind. Sup. Ct. 2020) (finding that the state should actually be spending more tax dollars in public schools), with, Sweetums Corp. v. National Park Service 255 F.Supp.2d 988, 999 (S. Dist. Ind. 2019) (finding that the federal government does not owe Sweetums money).
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13
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Flanders v. Simpson, 222 U.S. 70, 78 (1997); Burns v. University of Michigan, 29 F.2d 288, 288 (4th Cir. 1976). See Burns at 298; but see Kirk van Houten, Can I Borrow A Feeling? 407–408 (2001).
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14
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See Coppola v. Corleone, 19 A.3d 14, 17–19 (New Jersey 2004) (explaining that the defendant “could not refuse the offer”). Cf. U.S. v. Benes, 428 F.3d 1004, 1005–1008 (8th Cir. 2005) (stating that the defendant “could not spare a square”).
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15
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Charlie Kelly, An Analysis of Bird Law in Canada, Univ. of Manitoba L. R. (“Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.”); see Hugh Honey and Vic Vinegar, Partners in Real Estate and Partners in Life, 192 Harv. L. Rev. 422, 430–431 (2013).
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16
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See generally Oswald Cobblepot, The Art Of Snitching: How To Manipulate Social Capital To Gain Upward Organizational Mobility, 19 (John C. Smith and Samantha J. Paige, editors, 2009) (“Relationships with an organization’s personnel are like any other tool—they are freely gifted to you from the organization in order to help you advance your own interests.”) Compare Gotham Mobsters Association. v. Joker 793 N.E. 2nd 1340 at 1349 (N.Y. 2003) (concludes that improper use of the association’s pencil required repayment of pencil’s value.) with Indian Hill, L.L.C. v. Firefly 706 F. 2nd 1622 at 1630 (2nd Circuit 1993) (explains that a “patient” does not owe “medical bills” when her stay is at a human experimentation center.) and Wayne Enterprises, Inc. v. Wayne 313 F.3d 1490, 1498 (2nd Circuit 2002) (notes that a majority shareholder’s use of company funds to buy advanced body armor, giant capes, and batmobiles is acceptable because of his majority shareholder rights.). State v. Nygma 664 N.E. 2nd 1417 at1423 (N.Y. 1996) (finds that forensic worker’s use of the police department’s forensic laboratory equipment to destroy evidence of his own crime constitutes improper use and requires repayment.)
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17
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Selina Kyle, Being Sneaky, N.Y. TIMES, August 7, 1995 at page 72
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18
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Id. Kyle goes on to describe how stealth is just one of many skills that children living on the streets need to learn in order to survive. Id, page 73; See also Harvey Dent, Underserved: How the Justice System Has failed Gotham’s Youth, 57 NewYork University Law Review 403, 437 (1997) (“Because of the justice system’s failure, this city’s youth have had to rely on their own wits”). In addition to her stealth pointers, Kyle leaves readers with one more invaluable piece of information: “Always wear a pair of goggles on top of your head, even if you are never actually seen using them.” Id, page 75.
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19
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Hubert Dennis Edwards, 75 Agricultural Decisions, p. 281-82 (U.S.D.A., February 10, 2016). (Where the petitioner’s appeal was late and was therefore denied.)
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20
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Bessel A. van der Kolk, Alexander C. McFarlane, Lars Weisaeth, eds., The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on the Mind, Body, and Society, 191 (Guildford Press, 1996) (Showing “high rates of alcohol and drug abuse” in populations with histories of childhood neglect, citing Keane & Wolfe, 1990). Rosemary K.M. Sword and Philip Zimbardo Ph.D., “Your Brain on Trauma,” Psychology Today Blog (Nov. 17, 2012), https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-time-cure/201211/your-brain-trauma.
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21
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Code of Fed. Regs., Title 8 Sec. 213a.2(b)(2), 2011, describing the guidelines for employment-based immigrant petitions by affidavit.
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22
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Minas Tirith v. Lord Denethor, 35 S.Ct. 87, 90-5 (2014) (holding that refusing to relinquish the title of Steward to honor a rightful successor to the throne is a treasonous act); Kings of Gondor Ascension Act, 16 U.S.C. § 51 (2014); Grima Wormtongue, Capturing the Mind of a King 23 (2d ed. 2011) (explaining how to engage in long-term mind control); Lord Elrond, Isildur’s Bane and Blade, Rivendell and Middle Earth L.J., 43, 50 (2013) (“What evil lurks in the hearts of man to be so easily corrupted by power.”)
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23
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Compare Frodo Baggins Law, Minn. Stat. sect. 304, subd. (a)(4) (“Inheriting found property from a relative is not theft from the original owner of said property.”), with Gandalf v. Saruman, 78 F.2d 12, 15 (Minn. S. Ct. 2005) (holding that Respondent is not the rightful owner property deemed to be stolen). See also, Smeagol Gollum, My Precious- One Hundred And Forty-Five Ways I Love Thee, Black Gate Times (Sept. 22, 2001), https://bgtimes.net/ring-blog.pdf; but cf, Bilbo Baggins, Finders Keepers- 5 Riddles to Victory 75 (3rd ed. 2002).
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24
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I. Sauron, Forging Power: One Ring To Rule, Mordor Towers Blog, (January 19, 2000; 8:53AM) (describing the forging powers needed to create a master ring) https://mordortowers.com/forge/01_19_2000 (last visited Apr. 10, 2017).
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25
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See E.g., Federal Rule of Civil Procedure 12b6, Federal Rule of Criminal Procedure 42a, United States Constitution Amendment XIV section 2, but see Canada Act, 1982, c.11 (U.K.), reprinted in R.S.C 1985, app II, number 5 (Canada).
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26
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Compare Billy Bob, Jimmy John’s is the Best, Blogland (April 12, 2017 3:45pm), http://blogland.com/jimmyjohnsisthebest. With Jilly Jane, Erbert and Gerbert’s Rules, Blogs R Us (March 27, 2017, 4:30pm) http://blogsrus.com/erbertandgerbertsrules
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27
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See Mark Gordon @MarkGordon on Twitter (September 26, 2016 8:55am) http://twitter.com/MarkGordon/status/654321.
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28
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Bucket v. Wonka, Wonka Court of Appeals, 43 F. Supp. 2d 11134 (1967); Henry Salt, Greed Buys Wonka’s Scrumdidilyumptious (forthcoming 2001); Articles of Kraplakistan of 1997, article 2, paragraph 2;; President Trump, Address at Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory (May 7th, 2017).
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29
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Letter from Violet Beauregarde. Editor, Wonka chocolate review, to Mike Teavee, Economic Administrator, Teleportation Administration (June 30, 1971) (on file with the Mitchell Hamline Law Review); Loompaland v. Trump, 27 U.S. 56789 (1978); Constitution of Minnesota, Article 15, sect. 5, clause 12.
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30
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Interview by Augustus Gloop with Veruca Salt, Commissioner, Great Britain Spoiled Children’s Institute, in Hershey, Pennsylvania. (Tuesday, June First, 2017); Cf. Press Release, Willy Wonka, founder, Willy Wonka’s statement to the Chocolate Factory (Jan. 1, 1970), http://charlieisactuallyagoodkid.com/; ; But see Charlie Bucket, How to find the 50TH Golden ticket (June 1, 1975) (unpublished PH.D dissertation, Wonka University) (on file with author);
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31
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Rita Skeeter, Armando Dippet: Master or Moron?, 2001, Wizardly Publishing, page 8
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32
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Snape v. Potter, 133 S.Ct. 678, 92 U.S 100, 192 L. Ed. 2d 999, June 1, 2001; Ariel v. Ursula, 154 Northwest2d 574 at 576 Minnesota 2014, Dorothy v. Wickedwitch United States Supreme Court 136, 346 at 567 (U.S. 2012), Penny v. Medusa Minnesota 2013 NW2d 574, 576 at 577.
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33
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Argus Filch Building Maintenance v. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, LLC, 843 N.W. 2d 761 (Minnesota 1978).
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34
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Bear v. University of Peanut Butter 247 SE.2d 277, 277 (Montana 1993); see University of Peanut Butter’s Press Release dated November 9, 1988 “University of Peanut Butter to Open School of Law” – on file with author, but see Nathalie P. Chompies, Dean of Students, “Commencement Address at the University of Peanut Butter School of Law” on May 21, 2017.
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35
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Id. at 278. See Generally Peanut Butter University Office of Admissions, http://www.pbuni.edu/admissions (last visited May 31, 2017) (lists the requirements for admission.). See also, 1993 Minn. Laws, Act of August 5th, Ch. 578, at § 4, p. 11, 88-93 (codified at Minn. Stat §611A.04, 1994).
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36
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China and Mongolia, Agreement for the Free Travel of Felines, article 4, signed on December 15, 1981 and available at 392 U.N.T.S. 432; see also Alberta M. Whiskers, Millions and Billions and Trillions of Cats: An Agreement Gone Awry? 91 Worldly Cat Law Journal 799 (spring issue of 1985) (which discusses the horrific aftermath of the Free Travel of Felines treaty.)
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37
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See Bluth v. Sitwell, 58 Calif. Reporter 2nd 345, at 356-358 (California Ap. Court 2005). See George Bluth, How to Run a Successful Real Estate Business, L. A. Times, September 7, 2003, http://www.latimes/arresteddevelopment.html (“There’s always money in the banana stand”.)
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38
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Milhouse Van Houten, Everything is Coming Up Milhouse, 57 Harv. Law Review 378, at 411 (1999) (discussing the advantages of wearing high-water pants.).
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39
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Compare Andy Dwyer, Using the Internet to Diagnose An Illness, 28 (Ron Swanson et al editors, 3rd eds. 2011) (Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems) with Milhouse Van Houten, Everything is Coming Up Milhouse, 57 Harv. Law Review 378, at 411 (1999).
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40
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See Mandatory Classic Movie Enjoyment Act of 1996, 27 USC §1375 (2012); Ryan Murphy, Bette and Joan: The Legendary Feud, Hollywood Reporter (Feb. 22, 2017, 10:15am), http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/betteandjoan/2017/2/22.
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