By gabrielle farrel, natalie fenimore, and jenice view



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ACTIVITY 5: WINDOW/MIRROR PANEL — FORGIVENESS HEART (5 MINUTES)

Materials for Activity

  • All participants' Window/Mirror Panels

  • Color pencils (sharpened or with a sharpener available)

  • Basket(s) of window/mirror panel materials:

    • Sheets of Mylar(R) in several colors, shiny gift wrap, aluminum foil and other reflective paper

    • Sheets of plain or construction paper

    • Scraps of fabric

    • Color markers (permanent markers work best on Mylar)

    • Glue sticks, tape (including double-sided tape) and scissors (including left-hand scissors)

    • Optional: Stick-on sequins, a hole-puncher, yarn, ribbon and a variety of magazines to cut up

Preparation for Activity

  • Cut out heart shapes from paper or Mylar. Hearts should be five inches at the widest point (or larger, if children's Window/Mirror Panels are quite large). You may wish to make a variety of colors or sizes to offer children some choices. If you use Mylar, children will need permanent markers to write on their hearts.

  • Have materials, including children's Window/Mirror Panels, easily accessible.

  • Make sure pencils are sharpened.

Description of Activity

Invite children to get their Window/Mirror Panels and settle at work tables. Distribute Window/Mirror Panel baskets of materials. Give each participant a heart shape.

Invite participants to decorate their heart in response to the question "What does forgiveness mean to you?" Tell them they may write or draw their idea of forgiveness and then add their forgiveness heart to their Window/Mirror Panel. If they are writing, ask them to begin with "Forgiveness is... ."

Keep instructions to a minimum. Explain that they have a very short time to complete this and discourage them from over-thinking it. Let each participant choose where the piece should go on their panel and help them attach it.



Including All Participants

A participant who cannot write or draw may be able to dictate their thoughts to a co-leader to write on a heart. You might invite the participant to choose another child who has finished their own heart to decorate theirs, too, according to their instructions.



CLOSING (5 MINUTES)

Materials for Activity

  • Newsprint, markers and tape

  • Taking It Home handout

  • Optional: A copy of Session 1, Leader Resource 2, Namaste (included in this document)

Preparation for Activity

  • Identify a place for participants to store their Window/Mirror Panels between sessions. Keep in mind, there may be times the panels are not entirely dry when the session ends.

  • Write the closing words on newsprint and post.

  • Download and adapt the Taking It Home section and copy as a handout for all participants (or, email to parents).

  • Optional: Review the leader resource so you can briefly explain the origin and meaning of "namaste" and demonstrate the accompanying gesture.

Description of Activity

Explain that the session is almost over and we will now work together as a community to clean the meeting space. Ask everyone first to clean up their own area and the materials they were using, then clean another area or help someone else. No one should sit in the circle until the meeting space is clean.

Then bring the group back to the circle. Ask them to think about what happened today that was good or what they wish had gone better. If you are running short of time you can ask them for a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" on the session.

Invite each participant to say, in a word or sentence, why it is important for them to be a part of this faith community. You may go around the circle for responses; allow individuals to speak or pass.

Then ask everyone to hold hands and say together:

Keep alert;

Stand firm in your faith;

Be courageous and strong;

Let all that you do be done in love. — 1 Corinthians 16

If this is the first time the group is using "namaste," briefly explain its origin and meaning. Then, lead the group in the word and bowing gesture. Or, substitute "thank you." Invite each participant to bow their head to the individuals on either side and then bow to the center of the circle and say "thank you" together.

Distribute the Taking It Home handout you have prepared. Thank and dismiss participants.

FAITH IN ACTION: INTERNATIONAL FORGIVENESS DAY

Materials for Activity


  • Newsprint, markers and tape

  • Blank paper and pencils, crayons or markers for all participants

  • Optional: From the International Forgiveness Day (at www.forgivenessalliance.org/day.html) website, handouts describing the organization's activities

Preparation for Activity

  • Optional: Prepare a few handouts that describe International Forgiveness Day activities.

  • Read the Truth and Reconciliation Report for the Children of Sierra Leone (at www.trcsierraleone.org/pdf/kids.pdf) to learn how an entire society has worked to develop a justice and healing process that includes children. Even though it is written for children, the 62-page report is probably too dense and graphic to share in the session. Glean ideas you can apply to your leadership of this group, perhaps as a model for how your community or congregation could collectively nurture forgiveness.

Description of Activity

Explain that International Forgiveness Day, variously held on August 1 or the first Sunday of August, is a time when groups of people gather to ask and grant forgiveness. We do not need to wait until August to create a forgiveness event for our congregational community. Form small groups of at least four children, each with an adult facilitator if possible. Ask the children to brainstorm ideas for how the entire congregation could participate in a Forgiveness Day.

Give the small groups a few minutes to generate ideas. Then ask them to share in the larger group. Write down all the ideas. If no one has suggested it, propose that the day include a ceremony of writing Forgiveness Letters. Lead a discussion to shape a concrete proposal.

Now ask children to think about all the people they would need to help them organize a Forgiveness Day and write the names on the large sheet of paper. Decide when you might want to hold a Forgiveness Day with the larger church community. Make a commitment to propose Forgiveness Day to your religious educator and minister.



LEADER REFLECTION AND PLANNING

Reflect on and discuss with your co-leader(s):



  • How did the timing go today? What might we do to make it work better?

  • What worked well? What didn't?

  • What connections did children make with the activities and/or the central ideas? How could you tell that was occurring?

  • What connections did you make with the children? What connections did the children make with each other? How was this evident? How could a sense of community be improved with this group?

Approach your director of religious education for guidance, as needed.

TAKING IT HOME

The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. — Marianne Williamson

IN TODAY'S SESSION...

We affirmed the value of forgiving people who break the rules of a community. We explored the idea of expressing righteous anger when we have been hurt by someone, seeking that person's sincere apology, and then letting go of the anger by offering sincere forgiveness. The practices we used in this session can be used in daily life.



EXPLORE THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Talk about...

Ask your child what they found most meaningful about their religious education session today—having this conversation directly afterward tends to yield the most information. You might ask, "What do you think about forgiveness?" Ask them whether and how they have been hurt by someone whose apology they seek. Ask them what it would take for them to forgive that person. Ask them what practices they learned today that might help them. Share about a time you have sought forgiveness when you knew you had hurt or wronged someone. Share about at time you forgave someone else. Be honest about how forgiving and seeking forgiveness have been challenging or rewarding for you.



EXTEND THE TOPIC TOGETHER. Try...

Have each member of the family write a forgiveness letter to someone else. Invite everyone to prepare by writing their feelings of hurt or betrayal first, then writing an imaginary apology from the person who hurt them. These writings should stay private; it may be a good idea to rip them up.

Then, each person writes a sincere letter of forgiveness, or a letter that says they want to forgive the person (but are not yet ready). If there are young members of the family who haven't learned to write yet, ask them to talk about forgiving someone who hurt their feelings. Share the forgiveness letters with each other. Affirm that forgiveness is important for a healthy family.

FAMILY DISCOVERY

Find out online what a group called the Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance (at www.forgivenessalliance.org/day.html) does to promote forgiveness, including a day in August for local celebrations of forgiveness and a web page of " forgiveness heroes (at www.forgivenessalliance.org/heroes.html)."



ALTERNATE ACTIVITY 1: SPIRITUAL PRACTICE — FORGIVENESS MEDITATION (15 MINUTES)

Materials for Activity

  • A chime or a bell

  • Leader Resource 2, Forgiveness Meditation for Children (included in this document)

Preparation for Activity

  • Review Leader Resource 2, Forgiveness Meditation for Children, and prepare to lead the meditation. You can learn more from a website about Buddhism (at buddhism.kalachakranet.org/Meditations/love_forgiveness_meditation.html) that explores love and forgiveness meditations.

  • Make sure to use an area large enough to accommodate all the group participants lying on the floor or sitting comfortably in chairs. If necessary, consider multiple separate areas to hold the activity.

Description of Activity

This activity offers a spiritual practice that children can use throughout their lives. It is a Buddhist practice of forgiving oneself, asking forgiveness from people whom we have harmed, and forgiving people whom we love as well as people we do not yet love.

Ask the children what they know about meditation. Allow some responses. Then, invite them to lie comfortably on the floor or to sit in their chairs. Lead them in taking three deep breaths. Ask children to repeat silently to themselves each phrase you will read aloud.

Using Leader Resource 2, read the Forgiveness Meditation aloud, leaving time between phrases or sentences for the children to repeat the words to themselves.

Ring the chime or bell to end the meditation. Then invite the children to remain silent for 15 seconds. To finish, stretch arms overhead and then bring arms down to sides.

Thank them for their participation.



Including All Participants

Be mindful of accessibility issues. Invite participants to stretch as they are willing and able.


WINDOWS AND MIRRORS: SESSION 4: STORY: TEACHING A THIEF

"Teaching a Thief" is taken from Kindness, A Treasury of Buddhist Wisdom by Sarah Conover and Valerie Wahl (Boston: Skinner House, 2010). Available from the UUA Bookstore. All rights reserved.

Bankei was a famous Zen teacher in Japan long ago. Students from all over came to his monastery for months of study and meditation. To make it through such intensive training is not an easy thing: There is much hard work to be done, many hours of meditation, little sleep, and only small, spare meals.

Once during the time at the monastery, a student found that all he could meditate on was his empty stomach. It was also all that he thought about during work and all he thought of even when eating! Finally, he could not stand it a day longer. In the night, ever so quietly, he sneaked into the kitchen, hoping to make off with something tasty and filling. But the head cook—always alert even when asleep—awoke and caught him.

The next morning, the matter was brought to Bankei in hopes that the student would be forced to leave. However much to the group's dismay, Bankei thanked them for the information and acted as if nothing had happened.

Just a few days later, the same pupil was caught stealing food from the kitchen again. The students were even angrier. It was in the middle of the night when the thief was apprehended, but they wrote a petition right there and then to their teacher Bankei. They each vowed to leave the monastery the next day if the thief was not expelled.

When Bankei read the petition the next morning, he sighed. He went outside to the monastery gardens and paced thoughtfully. At last he asked that all the monks and students—including the thief—be brought together. They gathered in the temple hall, becoming quiet when Bankei entered.

"Many of you have come from far away to be here," announced Bankei. "Your hard work and perseverance are to be praised. You are excellent, dedicated students. You have also clearly demonstrated that you know wrong from right. If you wish, you may leave this monastery and find another teacher. But I must tell you that the thief will remain, even as my only student."

The students were appalled! A murmur of discontent hummed about the room. How could their teacher ask them to leave?

Who had done the wrong thing? Only the thief! Feeling anger of the other students, the thief in their midst hung his head in disgrace.

"My friends," Bankei gently continued, "this thief does not understand the difference between right and wrong as you do. If he leaves, how will these things be learned? He needs to stay here so he can also understand."

When the thief heard these words, he felt profoundly moved. Tears sprung to his eyes. But even through his shame in front of the others, he felt Bankei's deep compassion. He knew he would not steal anymore.

Bankei ended his speech. He left the hall, leaving the students to make their individual decisions. The thief immediately took a spot on a meditation bench and set about meditating. Many of the students stood right up to leave the monastery. Somewhat confused by Bankei's speech, they discussed things among themselves. All except for the presence of one student—the thief—the great hall emptied for a time.

When Bankei returned an hour later, it was so quiet he assumed all the students had left, just as they had vowed. But much to his surprise, every last student had returned. All were quietly sitting, composed in meditation. The wise and kind Bankei smiled at such a wonderful sight.



WINDOWS AND MIRRORS: SESSION 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 1: THREE-STEP FORGIVENESS LETTER


Step One: Feeling Letter

Dear (person's name),

A) Anger. Write your feelings of anger. I am angry that... / I am furious... / I hate...

B) Sadness. Write your feelings of sadness. I am sad that...

C) Fear. Write your feelings of fear. I am afraid that...

D) Sorrow or regret. Write your feelings of lament. I am sorry that...

Signed, (your name)

EXAMPLE

Dear Pogo,

I am angry that you stole my pencil and tried to pretend the dog took it. It makes me feel like you don't respect me or my things. I thought you were my friend but you don't act like a friend. That makes me sad. I don't want to talk to you anymore.

Signed, Logo



Step Two: Response Letter

Dear (your name),

(Write their letter to you)

Signed, (person's name)



EXAMPLE

Dear Logo,

I am sorry I stole your pencil and I am sorry I lied and said it was the dog who took it. I really want you to be my friend, but I guess I need to act like a friend first. Please forgive me. I will do (insert solution) to make it up to you.

Signed, Pogo



Step Three: Forgiveness Letter

Dear (person's name),

(Write your letter)

Signed: (your name)



EXAMPLE

Dear Pogo,

I forgive you for taking my pencil and lying about it. Of course I want to be your friend. Let's agree to respect each other's things and tell the truth.

Signed, Logo



WINDOWS AND MIRRORS: SESSION 4:
LEADER RESOURCE 2: FORGIVENESS MEDITATION FOR CHILDREN

From the website A View on Buddhism .



Give children a moment each time you ask them to picture someone new.

Read aloud the words you want children to say silently to themselves one phrase at a time, with pauses in between.

Picture yourself in your mind. As you breathe in and out, repeat these words silently to yourself:

I forgive myself for whatever I did, on purpose or by accident.

May I be happy, free of confusion, understand myself and the world.

May I help others to be happy, free of confusion, and full of understanding.

Now picture in your mind a person you love and want to forgive.

As you breathe in and out, repeat these words silently to yourself:

From my heart, I forgive you for whatever you did, on purpose or by accident.

May you be happy, free of confusion, and understand yourself and the world.

Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, on purpose or by accident.

May we open our hearts and minds to meet in love and understanding.

Try to feel the warmth of the healing between you.

Now picture in your mind someone you have hurt.

As you breathe in and out, repeat these words silently to yourself:

Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, on purpose or by accident.

May you be happy, free of confusion, and understand yourself and the world.

Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, on purpose or by accident.

May we open our hearts and minds to meet in love and understanding.

Try to feel the warmth of the healing between you.

Now picture in your mind a person you do not like very much.

As you breathe in and out, repeat these words silently to yourself:

Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, on purpose or by accident.

May you be happy, free of confusion, and understand yourself and the world.

Please forgive me for whatever I did to you, on purpose or by accident.

May we open our hearts and minds to meet in love and understanding.

Try to feel the warmth of the healing between you.



FIND OUT MORE

Ideas about Forgiveness

You can explore:



  • Buddhist ideas about forgiveness at The Forgiveness Meditation (at buddhism.kalachakranet.org/Meditations/love_forgiveness_meditation.html)

  • Atonement for breaking a covenant at Judaism 101—Yom Kippur Day of Atonement (at www.jewfaq.org/holiday4.htm).

  • A variety of perspectives at Why Forgive? (at explorefaith.org/forgive/index.html)

A 2004 essay by Episcopal priest L. William Countryman, "Forgiveness and Justice," (at www.explorefaith.org/forgive/countryman.html) challenges the idea of retribution as justice and presents an alternate view. The essay reads, in part:

Justice seeks the world of "shalom," the life of the age to come. It will do nothing that would make such a world impossible. It will do anything that might actually bring it closer. It will even forgive. Instead of dedicating ourselves, then, to the impossible task of getting the past right, we find ourselves freed by forgiveness to live fully in the present and to begin building something new and better.




SESSION 5: THE BLESSING OF IMPERFECTION

SESSION OVERVIEW

INTRODUCTION

If you look closely at a tree you'll notice its knots and dead branches, just like our bodies. What we learn is that beauty and imperfection go together wonderfully. — Matthew Fox, theologian

Humans are imperfect. We are each uniquely made and live our lives uniquely. Yet we often compare ourselves to others, finding a standard of perfection against which we undoubtedly fail. Lacking a skill or feature we wish we had, we may feel incompetent or inadequate. We forget to value our capacity to learn, grow, and contribute to our communities in our own unique ways.

Unitarian Universalism celebrates the beauty of each individual—imperfections and all. Our first Principle affirms our inherent worth and dignity, and our seventh Principle suggests that we all need one another. This session helps children know they need not be "perfect" to be loved, respected, and appreciated for their own unique gifts.

In this session, a tale from India , "The Water Bearer's Garden," demonstrates that our very imperfections can have corresponding gifts. Children learn about scientific "accidents" that resulted in inventions we enjoy today. The group observes raku pottery and learns the Japanese concept of wabi-sabi—the beauty of imperfection.

In the Window/Mirror panel activity, participants write or draw about their own flaws/blessings using a cracked pot template (Handout 1). Next, Activity 5 invites participants to form their own "cracked pots" with self-hardening modeling clay.

Before distributing modeling clay, explain that participants may make a wabi-sabi pot either with modeling clay or, if the would like to incorporate it onto their Window/Mirror panel, on paper. Distribute modeling clay to those who prefer it. While they are making their "cracked pots," direct them to consider their own imperfections and how these are also gifts to share.



GOALS

This session will:



  • Convey that Unitarian Universalism celebrates our differences and affirms the inherent worth of every person

  • Teach children to take note of their unique gifts and their potential to learn, grow and contribute to their communities

  • Demonstrate how rigid standards of perfection can impede fairness, happiness and progress

  • Demonstrate the concept of the beauty of imperfection.

LEARNING OBJECTIVES

Participants will:



  • Hear a story in which an imperfection was also a special gift that could be shared

  • Express, in an art project, their own imperfections in terms of gifts of blessings they can share

  • Learn about useful inventions that came about by mistakes or accidents

  • Learn that, as Unitarian Universalists, we value the very imperfections that make each individual unique.

SESSION-AT-A-GLANCE

Activity

Minutes

Opening

5

Activity 1: Nobody's Perfect

5

Activity 2: Story — The Water Bearer's Garden

10

Activity 3: Oops... Wow!

15

Activity 4: Window/Mirror Panel — Perfectly Me

10

Activity 5: Wabi-Sabi, the Beauty of Imperfection

10

Faith in Action: Smile Train Fundraiser




Closing

5

Alternate Activity 1: Chocolate Tomato Cake









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