Chris Funkhouser

Hagbard, Rusty (busy about many things), Porcupine (asleep), Primate's_Stick, and Guest are here.

Mineral teleports in.

whereis ajia

ajia (#41630) is in kitchen garden (#20242).

The housekeeper arrives to cart Porcupine off to bed.

Hagbard waves his hand and appears to distort and fall away from you.

Green_Knight rides in on his green horse and towers over you. His four foot tall axe blade doesn't look too pleasing.

Green_Knight slides open the glass door to the deck and slips out, sliding it closed behind it.

I don't understand that.

You say, "now where, rjp?"

The cuckoo clock begins making a small whirring noise.

>> Cuckoo! <<

You hear a small click coming from the cuckoo clock.

Mineral whispers, "hmm"

Mineral whispers, "hot tub"

You say, "walk?"

You say, "where is h-tub?"

Mineral attempts to walk through the plate-glass windows! Fortunately, they're tougher than that.

Mineral slides open the glass door to the deck and slips out, sliding it closed behind him.

Rusty (busy about many things), Primate's_Stick, and Guest are here.

You can't go that way.

You sense that Mineral is looking for you in The Hot Tub.

He pages, "join me"

whereis mineral

Mineral (#50669) is in The Hot Tub (#388).

The hot tub is made of molded fiberglass: on three sides a bench will seat five comfortably (and ten who are friendly), and on the fourth side there is contoured couch for one luxurious soak. There are two rubber mounted buttons here. You may push either the right or left button. Steam billowing up from the tub makes the bright stars twinkle more and the dim stars fade to obscurity. The underwater light is on. The bubbling jets are on.

You see thermometer here.

Mineral is here.

Aaaahhhh! The water is at that perfect temperature where you can just lie in here forever.

Splash!

Vortex sighs

You say, "gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha!"

Mineral says, "pretty dead in the living room. anyway, do you wanna be a schmoo?"

Rusty pages, "the H-tub is se from the living room"

You say, "i'm game for schmoo"

This thermometer was designed for underwater operation. It reads in both Fahrenheit and Celsius, with a Kelvin adjustment on the side. The reading is 105F, 40C (313K).

Eris (#24929) is in 1934 Buick (#29514).

Vortex blows bubbles on the surface

Vortex needs laudanum

You say, "I'm going home - quickly - to get some laudanum. want some?"

Mineral says, "sorry.. I need to look something up. hang on a sec"

Mineral says, "ok"

You say, "I'll be back quick"

You click your heels three times.

Gam-Bit (asleep) is here.

Computer says, "What kind of drink could i get you?"

[Type a line of input or `@abort' to abort the command.]

You say, “laudanum”

You hear a humming and a drink appears out of nowhere.

press drink

Computer says, "What kind of drink could i get you?"

[Type a line of input or `@abort' to abort the command.]

You say, “another laudanum”

You hear a humming and a drink appears out of nowhere.

look vortex

poet boy who grew up on the beach, poem in head

It is awake and looks alert.

Carrying:

plastic, unbreakable cup of laudanum

plastic, unbreakable cup of another laudanum

Mineral (#50669) is in The Hot Tub (#388).

Mineral is here.

Vortex gives laudanum to mineral

Vortex takes a big gulp

You say, "BOM SHANKAR!"

You say, "shall i raise a toast?"

Mineral

yellow bellbottom cords, and a black patchwork leather car coat. Around his neck is a fossil eurypterid pendant on a long lanyard. His 4-finger diamond-chip ring spells out the word "Desire."

He is awake and looks alert.

Mineral says, "yes"

You say, "Long live Gargoyle Mechanique! Long live life! Long live Shiva! Bom!"

Mineral says, "yes!"

Vortex raises unbreakable cup of laudanum

You say, "To ourselves, our fecundity!"

Mineral says, "i don't seem to have any laudanum, or at least it's not showing on me"

You say, "i noticed. maybe take it from me? i have 2 unbreakable cups"

Mineral says, "i can't even see it. may have an invisible lock on it? did you make it?"

You say, "I WANNA BE ANARCHY"

look vortex

Guest steps into the tub from the deck.

Splash!

I don't know which "vortex" you mean.

I see no "vortex omaly" here.

look vortex

I don't know which "vortex" you mean.

Mineral and Guest are here.

I don't know which "Vortex" you mean.

Guest turns off the bubbling jets.

Guest turns off the tub light.

You say, "now I can't see myself. But I did at a point have the drinks"

Guest turns on the tub light.

Guest turns on the bubbling jets in the tub.

look guest

By definition, Guest appears nondescript.

It is awake and looks alert.

Mineral says, "weird. maybe they're room-locked. anyway, come back to switz a moment"

Mineral goes home.

whereis mineral

You say, "ok"

Mineral (#50669) is in The Idea of Switzerland (#53048).

@go #53048

The Idea of Switzerland

Mineral is here.

You say, "I"m still real rookie in mooland & have no serious instructions "

Mineral says, "anyway, i think to be a schmoo all you need is to typoe ‘@parents vortex is #4803’"

Mineral says, "try it"

You say, "i'm trying to use moo as compositional device. some success"

You say, “ok"

@parents vortex is #43803

Vortex (#50457) has no "parents" message to set.

Mineral says, "dja get anything?"

vortex has no parents message to set

You say, "sez 'vortex has no parents message to set’"

Mineral says, "hmmm....lemme think"

You say, "hung out with hakim bey, r anton wilson & nick herbert the other nite"

Mineral says, "i'm gonna look at yr parents"

You say, "I'd like to look at yr parents!"

You say, "when are we moving to montana?"

Mineral says, "sounds very cool"

Mineral says, "i thought it was minnesota! or wuz it wisconsin?"

Mineral says, ""how are you getting to buffalo on the 30?"

Mineral says, "sometimes MOOnication is like tennis with 3 balls in play at once"

You say, "Belle's driving. Am trying to set up niteclub gig. You innerested?"

You say, "yes, optic yellow too. "

Mineral says, "yes!! where? nietzsche's?"

You say, "That's one place i know of. juliana gave names of 2 others too"

Mineral says, "i'd love to do that"

Mineral says, "what r they?"

You say, "OK. Katie gave a cynical response, so maybe she's out. or maybe in. who knows"

Mineral says, "what r the other 2?"

You say, "now i have it: Art Dialogue Gallery & The Curve"

Mineral says, "dunno them. must be new since i left"

You say, "I'll call soon. & let you know."

You say, "When you going away?"

Mineral says, "i'm leaving fri, but => Dad has compuserv--i'll still be in the net"

Mineral says, "bummed i'm gonna miss you here"

You say, "Cool. You can prolly telnet to cunyvm. St Mark's I'm reading at in may as well. A feature. "

Mineral says, "EGGGZELENT"

You say, "I think i shd get off line now. sheet to do & teach @ 10am. So let's say a nar a"

You say, "I'll be back in touch soon"

Mineral says, "ok--i'll try to figger out how to schmoo you"

You say, "It's great you have modem at home. One nite let's do this for real. OK?"

Mineral says, "cool"

You say, "Going bye now"

Mineral byes vortex

emote cyberhugs mineral ( )

Vortex cyberhugs mneral ( )

You say, "love to you my friend"

"Mineral says, "love fer sure--later"

You say, "hasta luego"

home

You click your heels three times.

A little door opens and a small robot comes zipping out. It takes the plastic, unbreakable cup of laudanum from you, and shoots on back into the hole, which closes behind it.

A little door opens and a small robot comes zipping out. It takes the plastic, unbreakable cup of another laudanum from you, and shoots on back into the hole, which closes behind it.

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.

*

create BOM SHANKAR
Sorry, the karma wheel is still turning, please try to create again in a few moments.

create BOM SHANKAR

*** Created ***

I'm being john by happily and methanol. Perhaps big is peggy, jealous of methanol?

You say, “perhaps”

Stop fidgeting, you're bothering the others.

emote gassho

Stop fidgeting, you're bothering the others.

You say, “I”

You are empty-handed.

Meditate, or die.
help

You are too restless to continue meditation. Come back later.

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.

I.
telnet cheshire.oxy.edu 7777

Trying 134.69.1.253...

Connected to cheshire.oxy.edu.

Escape character is '^]'.
Shhhhhhh......

Amid the smell of incense and the sound of gongs and chanting, you have

come upon the glorious Zen MOO. Please be quiet, and enjoy your meditation.
If you have performed meditation before, type:

connect

create
But type softly!

Sorry, the karma wheel is still turning, please try to create again in a few moments.

Sorry, the karma wheel is still turning, please try to create again in a few moments.

*** Created ***

I'm being john by happily and methanol. Perhaps big is peggy, jealous of methanol?

You say, "perhaps”

Stop fidgeting, you're bothering the others.

emote gassho

Stop fidgeting, you're bothering the others.

You say, “I”

You are empty-handed.

Meditate, or die.
help

You are too restless to continue meditation. Come back later.

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.

R zt zfrit i ft

The keyboard is sure to block your mind.

Stop fidgeting, you're bothering the others.

Answer the following riddle, quickly.

Enter a verb, if you will...

You say, “type”

Thank you, wise one.
A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "AnandaMetteya has joined the meditation."

emote gassho

The keyboard is sure to block your mind.

You say, “e”

Once a student typed too much and died.

You say, “w”

Once a student typed too much and died.

You say, “e”

We all dog is but neither do we life run.

You are too restless to continue meditation. Come back later.

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.
thor% telnet cheshire.oxy.edu 7777

Trying 134.69.1.253...

Connected to cheshire.oxy.edu.
Shhhhhhh......

connect BOM SHANKAR

You recently meditated. Rest and try again later.

I don't understand that. Valid commands at this point are

Help, Who, COnnect, CReate, Quit, UPtime, or Version

uptime

Shhhhhhh......

I don't understand that. Valid commands at this point are

Help, Who, COnnect, CReate, Quit, UPtime, or Version

version

who

------------ ------- ------------ ------------ ------------

hobbit 31 seconds 18 minutes an hour 25%

Alms 7 minutes 14 minutes 15 minutes 92%

Shmendric 15 seconds 35 minutes 37 minutes 92%

shade a minute an hour an hour 77%

Shhhhhhh......

quit

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.

II.
thor% telnet lambda.parc.xerox.com 8888

*** Connected ***

Last connected Sat Jan 30 16:10:11 1993 PST from 128.204.1.114

**

whereis ajia

ajia (#41630) is in ajia's teahouse (#49341).

@go49341

I don't understand that.

a four-tatami teahouse whose doors open to a sparse japanese-style garden. A teapot sits upon a brazier located in the center of the room.The air in the teahouse is cool, and the tranquil scent of jasmine mingles with that of the tea. Few guests request tea, as the teahouse serves as a front for ajia's massage parlor. All the masseurs have gone home for the day, to cook dinner for their wives. In the corner, stands ajia's overpaid assistant, a scantily-clad adonis, whose only appreciable skills are to add decoration to the room, and refill ajia's coffee (no sugar, just a dash of milk.) A sliding wood and frosted glass door exits to the southeast. A sliding door leads into the teahouse from here.

Sick, Star, ajia, and Foobies are here.

Star has been sick so she hasn’t mooed much...not up to it.

ajia asks, "who's a schmoo?"

ajia [to Star]: you?

Sick [to ajia]: yes, her.

Sick points accusingly at Star.

You see a player who should type '@describe me as ...'.

It is awake and looks alert.

Foobies [to ajia]: I think they all went to SanFran instead of Arcadia (or wherever it is you live) because they are trying to ditch you

ajia [to Star]: you're not SSPC...all the advantages of schmoo and more?

Sick [to Marble]: hello.

Star

She is awake and looks alert.

Carrying:

Pouch A small Quimby doll

ajia [to Foobies]: Arcata--and you're probably right

Sick

A tattoo on Sick's forehead reads: 10:07 pm

He is carrying Sick's Sick Player Class (asleep), Temp-class (asleep), and FOO player class (asleep).

ajia says, "hello, Marble"

Star [to ajia]: ??????

Foobies says, "Hey, Marble"

Star says, "hi"

A largish 29 cent postage stamp floats into the room and fattens up into Dred.

Sick [to Dred]: HELLO

Foobies says, "I am going to go for a bit. I may be back. If not, I’ll be on tomorrow"

You say, "Cretins to everyone"

Dred hehs.

Star says, "bye"

Dred [to Sick]: HELLO

Foobies says, "So long, suckahs"

Foobies has disconnected.

You say, "Hail Eris"

ajia laughs at Dred

Sick laughs

Sick | #1467687 and #1467688

Sick decides on those.

Dred [to Sick]: Frick and Frack

ajia [to Sick]: wait...that was Foobs!

Dred grins at ajia

look

Ajia's teahouse

Dred, ajia, Sick, Star (distracted), and Foobies (asleep) are here.

Sick asks, "?"

ajia [to Sick]: he thought of those

ajia

She is awake and looks alert.

Carrying:

teacup booboo doll resembling Mole

A dozen red roses for ajia from Dred Icepick

Star says, "bye"

Dred grins.

Sick says, "oh"

Dred waves to Star.

Sick [to Star]: bye

Star says, "bye"

ajia says, "bye, Star"

Star goes home.

I see no "star" here.

Sick | 'star i was just kidding. i don't really hate you cos you're a schmoo.

Sick | A band of star dust surrounds you and your words are instantaneously whisked off to Star.

You say, "What's up people?"

Dred [to Sick]: You like the numbers? heh

ajia says, "we seem to be busy offending people"

Dred [to ajia]: piss off. No we're not.
You say, "AH, aum Shiva..."

Sick | @create generic bird named #1467687

Dred [to Sick]: You did not!

Dred laughs.

Sick laughs

Sick [to Marble]: aum Shiva? uh?

ajia asks, "aum Shiva? uh? huh?"
You say, "Shiv"

Sick pretends to understand.

You say, "Shiva's gonna come covered in ashes, on his throne cart brighter than Disneyland!!"

Dred asks, "Hindu, eh?"

ajia asks, "Shiva as in the hindu god?"

The housekeeper arrives to cart Foobies off to bed.

ajia blames the lag on Shiva

-------------------------------Sick------------------------------------

Name Disconn Last G Location Class Hometown

-------------- ------- ---- - -------- -------- --------

Shiva (#50446) 64d ago 1h n Kokomo $builder (none)

- End of paste.

You say, ""Bom Shankar!"

Sick will @gag Marble if he doesn't start making sense.

You click your heels three times.

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.

III.
DolphKnob falls asleep.

A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "DolphKnob leaves our meditation."

Splut spray music, givertakerness lofty music lofty with splut being babelfish spray, music.

You say, “o”

Will you stop the infernal racquet and meditate!?

------------ ------------ ------------ ------------ ------------

BOM 0 seconds 10 minutes 12 minutes 78%

dodo 3 seconds 6 minutes 7 minutes 81%

snid 3 minutes 21 minutes 25 minutes 83%

shade 9 minutes 2 hours 3 hours 78%

Elric an hour 2 hours 3 hours 54%

hobbit an hour an hour 2 hours 57%

A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "Cherag has joined the meditation."

Most splut and lofty are better splut than foolishly sex.

A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "Cherag leaves our meditation."

A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "hobbit leaves our meditation."

A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "Mara has joined the meditation."

You say, “top”

Enlightenment does not come from typing.

Name Total Idle Total Connect Percent

----------- ------------ ------------ ------------

AnandaMetteya 2 hours 2 hours 82%

shade an hour 2 hours 79%

Isamu an hour 2 hours 86%

BiteMe an hour an hour 99%

Shmendric 56 minutes 59 minutes 94%

Elric 55 minutes 2 hours 34%

viper 48 minutes 49 minutes 96%

lethe 45 minutes 54 minutes 84%

kessura 41 minutes 42 minutes 95%

Yogi 41 minutes 42 minutes 97%

pontifle 39 minutes 43 minutes 89%

shaedra 38 minutes an hour 63%

Dream 35 minutes an hour 46%

shhmoo 34 minutes 35 minutes 94%

PurpleHaze 33 minutes 41 minutes 80%

auzzie 28 minutes 45 minutes 62%

goimon 27 minutes 30 minutes 91%

Zen 26 minutes 29 minutes 90%

Serotonin 26 minutes 28 minutes 94%

fenris 26 minutes 27 minutes 95%
A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "dodo leaves our meditation."

Lllupp utlt uuu psll lp pplltt

A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "Fever has joined the meditation."

I say whoiue, you say truck, I say splut, you say lofty, let's agree upon following.
Truck is unto splut for splut.
Lsp uslpt l lussp uptl psltl

Mara fidgets excessively.

Uuuu t tlpu tt plsltll ttlslt u tsups sp sut ptsppps ptupuut sllltls u

Answer the following riddle, quickly.

window is most unlike. . .

Sad, so sad when you fall asleep like that. Tsk Tsk.

*** Disconnected ***

Connection closed by foreign host.

I.
A gong sounds quietly and a voice intones, "Hassan has joined the meditation."

Hassan mumbles something.

Will you key in an adjective?

You say, “blue”

Thank you wise one.