Christ In The Home: God’s Plan For His Family


COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS INVENTORY



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COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS INVENTORY


The Communication Effectiveness Inventory has been designed as an instrument (1) to help an individual evaluate his communication effectiveness and (2) to provide feedback from another individual as to how effective his communication is being perceived.
For maximum benefit the CEI should be used as a concluding activity when the issue of communications has been explored. It is especially useful in concluding a seminar or retreat which has dealt with the topic of husband-wife or parent-child communication.
To use the CEI, follow these instructions:

    1. Ask Person A to evaluate his own communication by mentally inserting his name in the blank at the beginning of each statement. He should mark his response on the second set of scoring columns.

    2. After marking his responses ask him to circle his response to the statement he needs to work on most.

    3. Person A folds the paper so that his responses are turned behind, leaving one set of unused responses.

    4. Another family member (person B) now works through the CEI marking how he sees Person A's communication (he mentally puts Person A's name in the blank). Person B, too, circles one statement which he feels Person A needs to work on most.

When the CEI has been completed, Persons A and B will be completed a CEI on themselves, exchanged papers and completed responses on each other's paper. Then, sitting in a face-to-face relationship they discuss the strengths of each's communication and how it can be improved. The person who leads this exercise should structure the setting so that the experience is positive and constructive. This is crucial.


When Person A shares the item which needs improvement, Person B should make practical suggestions in terms of what A could do to improve in that area. A should listen quietly while B shares. When B finishes, the process moves to B's area of improvement, and A shares suggestions. At the end of the process each should pray for the other. (See following page for CEI test.) Developed by Dr. Norman Wakefield. Used by permission.

COMMUNICATION EFFECTIVENESS INVENTORY


Instructions: Mentally insert in the blank the name of the person being evaluated. :

Rate the answer by the following number system: 1. Usually 2. Sometimes 3. Seldom 4. Never



Person A Person B
They will sit down with someone and encourage him/her to talk informally __________
He/she is sensitive to another who is discouraged, restless, troubled, or si!ent.
He/she interrupts others when they are talking.
He/she compliments individuals about things he/she does.
He/she enjoys talking conversationally with other persons
He/she acts as though he/she is listening to a person when he/she really is not
He/she asks others' opinions about things he/she would like to do, receive, etc.
He/she tries to see another's point of view.
He/she enjoys listening to other people
He/she monopolizes conversation.
He/she encourages others to share their thoughts, feelings, convictions.
He/she is able to speak the truth in a loving manner.
He/she gets upset or defensive when others disagree with him/her.
He/she tends to be too detailed or complex when sharing ideas or opinions.
He/she asks questions or makes statements which are irrelevant.
He/she shares so little of himself /herself that others cannot get to know him/her.

MARRIAGE POTENTIAL INVENTORY


The Marriage Potential Inventory is a short pencil-and-paper test which enables couples to form a pretty good idea of where they are in their marriages, compared with where they could reasonably hope to be. It consists of having each partner estimate how well he or she thinks the marriage is working, in ten basic areas of the relationship.
The test is taken by each partner separately, without collaborating or knowing what the other is doing. It is scored by the couple themselves. Then in a session of an hour or two, they put the results together, see how they compare, and draw conclusions.

What To Do


1. List on a sheet of paper the following ten areas of the marriage relationship.

    1. Common goals and values

    2. Commitment to growth

    3. Communication skills

    4. Creative use of conflict

    5. Appreciation and affection

    6. Agreement on gender roles

    7. Cooperation and teamwork

    8. Sexual fulfillment

    9. Money management

10a) Parent Effectiveness

10b) Decision-making


In the tenth area, two possibilities are given. This is to provide an alternative for couples who do not have children, or are not currently involved with children.
Estimate just where your marriage is in these ten areas. Take each one in turn and decide upon a score from zero to ten for each area. Calculate the score. Consider what your relationship would be like if you had

both together made all the progress you could possibly make in the area concerned; that is, learned all you could, worked together at it to the best of your abilities, sought all the outside help you might need. When you have formed an idea of what your marriage could be like, this would represent the full ten points. Next, consider where your marriage is now and give yourself a score, from zero to ten, to represent your

present level of achievement. Remember, you are scoring the marriage, not just your own part in it. It may be helpful initially to run through the list quickly, ] spontaneously writing in scores in pencil. Then go back over them all more carefully, and change any scores you don't feel are exactly accurate.

Final tabulations. ,When you have completed all your scores, add them up. This will give you the percentage of your estimated potential that " you have already achieved. Subtract this from one hundred, and you will have the percentage of your marital potential that you still have to appropriate.



Review together. After each has done this separately, schedule an uninterrupted period of one to two hours, to go over your scores together. Compare your percentages of achieved potential. If they are very close, this means that you are both in fairly complete agreement about where your marriage is. If, on the other hand, there is a significant difference in your percentages, this means that your standards of evaluation are not the same, and it would be a good idea to find out why. Low scores can mean poor performances. But they can also mean high expectations. Differing views either of your performance or of your expectations need to be investigated - to see what lies behind them.
Go over your individual scores for each of the ten areas. " You may find some in close agreement. Wide differences need to be looked at together, and you may gain some important insights by discussing them. If in some areas you both have low scores, you can quickly agree that these are areas on which you have some work to do. Don't take a pessimistic view of low scores; they mean you have good things coming to you that you haven't yet claimed.
Most couples find doing this test a very revealing and very helpful experience. Most tell us that this is the first time they have ever really taken an honest look at where they are in their relationship. Some couples who thought they had an excellent relationship are quite surprised. One couple said: "We have been shaken out of our complacency. Now we've got to get to work."
The test can be taken again over a period of time, and your scores will probably fluctuate. Over time, a couple changes their perceptions - both of their expectations and their levels of attainment. The test can help you to keep a check on the progress you are making in your marital growth.
Hopefully you will find the test revealing - and helpful. It should always be viewed positively, in terms of the good things that await you as you work together at raising your scores in areas in which you have fallen short. From How to Have a Happy Marriage, by David and Vera Mace. Adapted and used by permission.



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