Fallen Milan Marine's life celebrated in service

Fallen Milan Marine's life celebrated in service

YPSILANTI - Much of the community of Milan traveled about 20 miles north to First United Methodist Church again Friday morning for the funeral service of Marine Cpl. Gary A. Koehler, 21, a Milan High School graduate who was killed by a roadside bomb Nov. 1 in Iraq.

More than 500 people attended a special Marine service Thursday, and at least 700 attended the Friday morning "Celebration of the Life of Cpl. Koehler."

Arrangements for both services were made by Ochalek-Stark Funeral Service, Ypsilanti.

The stone church with oak paneling and doors was framed in the thin sunlight by about 50 large American flags, each held proudly by area veterans, some from motorcycle groups.

Inside, the pews were packed with Cpl. Koehler's childhood friends, schoolmates, teachers, school officials, coaches from Little League to high school sports, area veterans and friends and supporters of Cpl. Koehler's family and the family of his 21-year-old high school sweetheart and widow, Hillary Moss.

Behind the filled church pew area, at least 100 folded wooden chairs were set up for the service. The balcony, which seats about 100, filled up quickly, mainly with young adults.

The 90-minute service was filled with memories, tears, musical interludes and hugs.

The musical selections for the service reminded everyone that this was a young man, full of life and promise, who died. The hymns "On Eagle's Wings" and "America the Beautiful" were sung by everyone, but the audience also was treated to the playing of "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin, "God Bless the U.S.A." by Lee Greenwood," "The Promise" by Tracy Chapman and "Hard to Concentrate" by Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Cpl. Koehler and Hillary were married in February at the church in a small wedding, but "The Promise" was to be a big part of a second, formal wedding following his release from the service. The Red Hot Chili Peppers song was to be the music for the couple's first dance.

The speakers reminded everyone that this was a celebration of his life and love for those left behind.

The Rev. Doug Sweet, Cpl. Koehler's uncle and pastor of Danville United Methodist Church in Danville, Ohio, spoke of Cpl. Kohler's final mission into Iraq, for which he volunteered. He was selected to be the point man of the 25-person mission and shouted out "IED" (improvised explosive device) as a warning to those who followed before the roadside bomb took his life.

"No one has greater love than this than to lay down his life for his friends," Pastor Sweet said.

The statement epitomized Cpl. Koehler. Many of those there said he specifically went overseas so somebody else wouldn't have to.

Justin Mongomery, a friend of Cpl. Koehler, spoke of how accepting and loving he was "and, for that, Gary will never be forgotten."

Kevin Hlavaty, the father of Cpl. Koehler's closest friend, Elliott Hlavaty, who joined the Marines with him, said Cpl. Koehler loved John Steinbeck's writing, especially the good vs. evil story in "East of Eden." He had a tattoo put on his body that said "Timshel" (from the novel, meaning "Thou Mayest.") He was intrigued by the idea of doing good to fight evil, Mr. Hlavaty said.

"We all must emulate his spirit in our lives," he said.

The Rev. Ron Zehnder, who baptized Cpl. Koehler 21 years ago, said that Yogi Berra, the famous catcher, had it right when he said, "It ain't over till it's over."

"It's not over for Gary," he assured everyone. "Gary is with God. He has earned his cross, and now he will get his crown."

Tom Gephardt, Cpl. Koehler's high school history teacher and friend, spoke of his pranks and high jinks at school and how he came of age at Milan High School and and was transformed from a shy, young kid to a confident, young man in the Marines.

And the Rev. Melanie Lee Carey, senior pastor of First United Church, told the now-infamous flagpole story.

Dr. Gary Moss, a longtime area optometrist, had a 35-foot flagpole in his front yard, where he proudly displayed the American flag. One day, he came home and the flag was on the ground. The clip on the flag was broken and stuck at the top. Meanwhile, completely unrelated, Cpl. Koehler was visiting Hillary at the Moss home. Dr. Moss was intent on getting the flag back up and, at the back of his mind, he was wondering about what intentions Gary Koehler had for his daughter.

One thing led to another, and Dr. Moss found out that Cpl. Koehler, a high school football and baseball star, also had considerable climbing abilities. Dr. Moss asked Cpl. Koehler if he could climb up the flagpole and he agreed. He shinnied up the metal pole by hand and fixed the flag. Eventually, Cpl. Koehler asked for permission to marry Dr. Moss' daughter and he was granted it.

The remembrances and music were followed by a short military honor in which the flag that draped Cpl. Koehler's coffin was presented to the families.

"Taps" was played, and the tears fell as Cpl. Gary Koehler was given his final goodbye. His casket was carried by eight active Marines followed by lines and lines of mourners exiting the church into the noon sun.

Cpl. Koehler died while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.

He was honored by hundreds, mostly from Milan, on the day marking the founding of the Marine Corps - Nov. 10, 1775. Friday also was the day before Veterans Day, which is marked nationwide today to honor all veterans of all conflicts.

Cpl. Koehler was the seventh Monroe County region man to die in the Iraq War.

The Department of Defense reported Cpl. Koehler, who graduated from Milan High School in 2003, was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 8th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C. He is the seventh Operation Iraqi Freedom casualty from the Monroe County region.

Military officials did not release a cause of death, but those close to the family believe he was shot during a mission in Al Anbar province. A trained sniper, he was part of a scout sniper platoon that was sent to the city of Haditha to help counter recent insurgent sniper attacks.

Services for Cpl. Koehler will be held in the First United Methodist Church at Washington and Washtenaw in Ypsilanti, said his father-in-law Gary Moss. Cpl. Koehler married Hillary Moss, his high school sweetheart, in the same church.

"He was a dedicated husband," Mr. Moss said. "He was serving his country and (this) just wasn't supposed to happen. His smile lit up the room. He was a great guy."

The youngest son of Ron and Mary Koehler, he also is survived by a brother, Robbie, said Kevin Hlavaty, a close family friend. Cpl. Koehler's father is a retired police captain and his mother is a nurse. They live in New Mexico and are planning on returning to Michigan soon for the funeral.

"He came from a very good family," Mr. Hlavaty said. "He was solid and decent, raised by two very wonderful, loving parents who taught him to be capable and accountable."

While at Milan High School, Cpl. Koehler was an athlete who excelled in football and baseball. His coaches described him as tenacious and a natural leader.

Upon graduation Cpl. Koehler and Mr. Hlavaty's son, Elliott, enlisted together. They were best friends and Mr. Hlavaty became close to Cpl. Koehler over the years.

"They both felt that joining the Marines would be something meaningful and would be a big challenge for them," Mr. Hlavaty said. "But Elliott came home and Gary did not."

Cpl. Koehler earned good grades and played sports for the fun of it, Mr. Hlavaty said. He said Cpl. Koehler liked to compete at almost anything, was adventurous and had a reckless side. He always had fun, Mr. Hlavaty said, but he respected his elders and his country.

Cpl. Koehler enlisted, thinking it would be a special way to contribute. He believed it was a patriotic act, Mr. Hlavaty said.

In the fall of 2004, he was shot in the leg during battle in Al Fallujah and earned a Purple Heart. He came back home in January, 2005, a changed person, Mr. Hlavaty said.

"He knew the way very few of us know what it means to serve your country in combat," Mr. Hlavaty said. "He came back not as a cut-up, life-is-about-fun kid, but as a man."

His battalion was redeployed in June as part of a Marine Expeditionary Unit and their mission was to be a ready response resource. In the last month of this assignment, Cpl. Koehler's platoon was sent to the Al Anbar province. He was killed while countering insurgent sniper attacks.

"It was dangerous and he went because it was his job, not because he wanted to go back," Mr. Hlavaty said. "After the 2004 battle in Al Fallujah, he knew what being a warrior really means. He went back because he was not one to run from his responsibility."

Mr. Hlavaty said Cpl. Koehler told him he knew that to function in that environment soldiers must accept the possibility of death each morning and get past it.

"Gary will be terribly missed for the laughs and the antics and his warm nature and his friendship," Mr. Hlavaty said. "He was like a second son."

 Tuesday, November 14, 2006 Gary Koehler laid to rest

Marine Cpl. Gary Koehler's last act: To warn his comrades of an IED in hopes of saving them.

Although the improvised explosive device took the life of the 2003 Milan High School graduate, it was his quick thinking that saved the other soldiers with him on Nov. 1, his family members said.

That was typical of the Marine sniper, said friends, family and clergy, who gathered to remember the fallen young soldier on Friday, the 231st anniversary of the creation of the U.S. Marine Corps.

Family members sat in the front pews at First United Methodist Church in Ypsilanti, holding each other and wiping away tears during the almost two-hour ceremony. Behind the casket sat a large photo of Koehler in his dress blues, banked by red, white and blue flowers.

Tears flowed freely as songs by Tracy Chapman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers played - songs chosen for a large, belated marriage celebration planned for February, after the newlywed soldier would have returned home to his wife of eight months.

Emotions were visible again at the end of the service, during military funeral honors. Marines in their crisp dress blues and white gloves folded the American flag draping Koehler's casket and gave it to his wife, Hillary Moss Koehler, and presented another to his mother, Mary Koehler.

But there were also light moments during and after the service as people remembered the fierce young man who loved to snowboard and climb - and who already had survived a gunshot wound to the leg sustained during military service two years ago today.

"The holy passion of friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature, that it will last through a whole lifetime,'' said the Rev. Doug Sweet, Koehler's uncle from Danville, Ohio, quoting Mark Twain. "... If not asked to lend money,'' he added to the laughter of the hundreds gathered for the service.

Koehler, 21, was that kind of friend, Sweet said.

"No one has greater love than to lay down one's life for others,'' Sweet said.

The soldier behind Koehler when he died during the special combat mission in Iraq's Al Anbar province was discharged Friday from the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. He lost his right eye and hearing in his right ear, among other injuries, Marine officials said.

That soldier, Jeff Morgan of Atlanta, Ga., wasn't able to attend Friday's service. But Morgan remembered his good friend during a phone call with The Ann arbor News on Friday as the guy who always put the needs of others first.

"If I was out of Gatorade, he would give me his,'' said Morgan, who served with Koehler for about 18 months. "Same thing with food. He always took care of everybody else.''

Tom Gephart, Koehler's history teacher at Milan High School, remembered Koehler as a silent leader who spoke little, but commanded the attention of the class when he did. He was an excellent student, he said.

As Gephart watched Koehler mature during visits after graduation, he thought it fitting he got to know Koehler in a history class titled "Coming of Age.''

"He was kind of a hugger, from what I learned,'' Gephart said, evoking laughter at his tales of the frequent squeezes Koehler gave him.

Close friend Justin Montgomery agreed. When Koehler would return home after being away in the military, and Montgomery offered his hand, Koehler would seize him in a hug instead and say, "Brothers don't shake hands, they hug.''

It was Koehler's desire not to disappoint his father - retired Ypsilanti police officer Ron Koehler - that often kept them out of trouble, Montgomery said. Koehler often bragged about his family - how strong his mother was when his father suffered a stroke and how smart his brother is.

"I love you, man,'' Montgomery said to the flag-draped casket, blowing a kiss.

Koehler loved having a vantage point on the world, shimmying up goal posts and finding new heights because he could see so much more up there, he told his mother.

His climbing skills help Koehler win over his future father-in-law. When the flag outside the Moss home fell from its 35-foot perch, it was Koehler who climbed the pole to re-attach the flag - twice, because he needed a hook to thread the frayed rope, Gephart said.

Lt. Col. Lewis Vogler, executive officer of Koehler's battalion, accompanied Koehler's remains home. It is military custom for a soldier to escort another soldier's body back to his family.

Vogler knew Koehler from command center meetings and said the battalion had been to Lebanon, Pakistan and, most recently, Kuwait.

Although it was a sad task, it was an honor Vogler said he was glad to have.

Kevin Hlavarty, the father of Koehler's best friend, said Koehler had discovered a love of literature before he left for Paris Island, especially John Steinbeck's "East of Eden.''

He will be greatly missed, Hlavarty said.
"He was like a son to me and a brother to our children,'' he said.
Koehler's remains will be cremated, and a private family ceremony will take place.

From the Ann Arbor News

Marine's funeral focuses on love of family, friends

"Gary left a lesson for us, a message we need now. What matters is love, the love we give and the love we get."

The plan was that after Marine Cpl. Gary Koehler returned home from a second tour of duty in Iraq, he and his wife, Hillary, would hold a wedding ceremony larger and more formal than the small, private one in which they were wed eight months ago before he went back to war. They planned to have the wedding in February at the First United Methodist Church of Ypsilanti.

Instead, last Friday, the church was filled with about 500 friends and family members who had not come to celebrate a wedding but to mourn a loss.

Koehler, a 21-year-old 2003 Milan High School graduate who played on the varsity football team, was killed Nov. 1 by a roadside bomb while on a combat mission in Iraq.

Outside the church, where in February there might have been cars waiting to receive Gary and Hillary's wedding party, 50 motorcycle club members of the Patriot Guard Riders lined either side of the street, holding American flags in tribute.

Zach Chandler is an assistant state captain with the Patriot Guard. He said membership in the organization doesn't require a motorcycle or military service.

"You just have to be a patriot that wants to come and honor a fallen hero," Chandler said.

Inside, the music selections for the memorial included Tracy Chapman's "The Promise" and the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Hard to Concentrate," both of which were to be played at the Koehlers' wedding celebration.

Koehler's wife Hillary, 21, sat in front beside his best friend, Elliott Hlavaty, who had enlisted in the Marines with him. She wore black.

The service centered on Koehler's love of family and friends.

Koehler's uncle, the Rev. Doug Sweet, who is pastor of the Danville United Methodist Church in Ohio, stood behind his nephew's flag-draped casket and read from the Bible, John 15: "This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."

"There's a love that thinks of others before oneself," Sweet said. "Gary lived out these words in his relationships. Friendship often requires some sacrifice at some point. Gary gave the ultimate sacrifice for his friends."

Koehler had volunteered to serve as point man for a 25-man special mission in Iraq's Al Anbar province when he came upon an improvised explosive device. According to accounts, the men behind Koehler heard him shout out the warning, "IED!" The young Marine's last words alerted his fellow soldiers to the danger. The Marine beside Koehler was blinded in the right eye, but the other 23 men were unhurt.

Koehler's parents, Ron and Mary Koehler, were awakened in their Albuquerque, N.M., home by a knock at the door at 2:15 in the morning. Ron Koehler said he at first thought it was Halloween pranksters.

"Who is it?" he called.

"The United States Marines," was the reply.

"My wife hit the floor," said Ron. "We knew, we knew."

Koehler's body was escorted home last week.

"We knew the day would come when faith would be the only thing that would get us through," Sweet said Friday. "The day has come."

From Koehler's life and from his death, friends said, there was to be found a message and a profound lesson.

He was not a man hesitant or reserved about expressing his love for friends and family, said his friend Justin Montgomery. He told of a time Koehler returned home recently for a visit. Montgomery said he went to shake his friend's hand, but Koehler embraced him.

"Justin," Koehler said, "brothers don't shake hands, they hug."

Montgomery said Koehler taught him an important lesson.

"Don't take it for granted the people in your life know you love them," Montgomery said. "Tell them you love them."

Kevin Hlavaty, the father of Koehler's friend Elliott, said Gary was a son to him and a brother to his children.

"Gary left a lesson for us," Hlavaty said, "a message we need now. What matters is love, the love we give and the love we get."

He said Koehler was a strong, physical and fearless young man who had the tree of life tattooed on his back. At the base of the tree was the single word "timshel," which in Hebrew means "thou mayest."

"Gary was a positive force," Hlavaty said. "Timshel is Gary's message for us."

Koehler's former history teacher at Milan High School, Tom Gephart, said Koehler was a respectful, thoughtful and quiet leader whom he got to see come of age.

The Rev. Melanie Lee Carey, the senior pastor at Ypsilanti First United Methodist Church, related a story of when Koehler helped his future father-in-law repair a flagpole outside the Moss home. Koehler, who friends described as adventurous and without fear, climbed the 35-foot flagpole — twice — to reattach the American flag.

"And the flag was flying again," Carey said.

As the service drew to a close, an eight-Marine honor guard approached Koehler's casket and stood on either side. From outside the quiet church came the distant calling of "Ready, aim, fire" as the first volley of a 21-gun salute sounded.

Marines from Wing Support Group 47, out of the Selfridge Air National Guard Base in Mt. Clemens, served as Koehler's Honor Guard. Seven Marines fired three volleys, followed by a bugler blowing taps inside the church.

Sobs broke out in the sanctuary as the Marines ceremoniously folded the flag from atop Koehler's casket and presented it to his wife and another flag to his mother.

The Marines carried Koehler's casket from the church, his wife of eight months walking behind, the folded flag pressed to her chest.