Mary poppins



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Poppins:        Oh, I make it a point never to give references. A very old-fashioned idea to my mind.
Mr. Banks:      Why, I’ve never heard of anythin----
Winifred:        George, we must follow what’s new in fashion, don’t you think?
Mary Poppins:     Good thinking, Mrs Banks.  You are a modern woman.   Item 4:

Mr. Banks:    May I? Eh, this paper? Where did you get it from? I thought I tore it up.

GEORGE:        Oh really


Poppins:        Excuse me. Item 4:  “never cross or cruel”  I am cross when children misbehave and refuse to follow instructions

WINIFRED:     You’ll find that the children are very nice  (MICHAEL and JANE  come screaming in and stare rather rudely at Poppins)  

Poppins:        On second thoughts, I believe a trial period would be wise. Hmm. I'll give you one week. I'll know by then.  Thank you.
WINIFRED:    And you are…?
POPPINS:        Mary Poppins.  Close your mouth please, Michael. We are not a codfish. Well, don't stand there staring. Best foot forward. Spit spot!  (Poppins, Jane, Michael exit towards nursery)
GEORGE:      Did we just hire her?
WINIFRED:    I believe we did.

MUSIC #??  for Scene change.
SCENE 5: Tidy Up the Nursery/ “Spoonful of Sugar”

(Scene changes to the nursery with beds, a special effects trunk, and a mess of clothes and toys)
Jane:        I'm afraid the nursery isn't very tidy.
Poppins:        It is rather like a bear pit, isn't it?

 

Michael:        That's a funny sort of bag.



Poppins:        Carpet.

 

Michael:        You mean to carry carpets in?  

 
Poppins   
No. Made of. Well, first things first. I always say, the place to hang a hat is on a hat stand. (Poppins pulls a full size hatstand out of her bag & hangs her hat, then) Every indoor room needs a little bit of the outdoor world (pulls out a potted plant and places it in room)

 

Michael:        There-- but there was nothing in it.



Poppins:        Never judge things by their appearance. Even carpetbags. I'm sure I never do.
Michael:        We better keep an eye on this one. She's tricky.

 
Jane:
        She's wonderful.

 
Poppins:
        Much better! Now, let me see. That's funny. I always carry it with me. It must be here somewhere.

 
Michael:
        What?

 
Poppins:
        My tape measure.

 
Michael       
What do you want it for?

 
Poppins:
        I want to see how you two measure up. I know it's down here somewhere. Ah, ha-ha, ha-ha! Here it is. Good. Come along, then. Quickly. Head up, Michael. Don't slouch. Just as I thought. Extremely stubborn and suspicious.

 
Michael:
        I am not!

 
Poppins:
        See for yourself.

 
Michael:
        "Extremely stubborn and sus--"



Poppins:        Suspicious.  Now you, Jane. Mmm. "Thoughtless, short-tempered. Doesn't put things away."

 

Jane:        And what about YOUR measurement?



Poppins:        Very well. Hold this for me. As I expected. "Mary Poppins. Practically perfect in every way."

Jane:        Mary Poppins is a lovely name.

 
Poppins:
        Thank you. I've always liked it.  Now, shall we get on with it?

 
Jane:
        Get on with what?
Poppins:        In your advertisement, did you not specifically request to play games?

 

Jane:        Oh, yes!

 
Poppins:
        Very well, then. Our first game is called “Tidy Up."

Jane:        I’m not sure I like the sound of that game.

 
Michael:
        I told you she was tricky.

 

Poppins:        Shall we begin?

 
Jane:
        It is a game, isn't it, Mary Poppins?

 
Poppins:
        Well, it depends on your point of view. You see, in every job that must be done, there is an element of fun.

(During the song, toys will come out of the trunk to help clean up the room, the children are amazed and join in.  Everything is put to rights by magic and real effort. )
MUSIC #8 - SPOONFUL OF SUGAR   (Poppins, Jane, Michael,Toy Chorus)

(Poppins piles clothes, toys, etc them into the childrens arms, they dump everything into a heap in a trunk.)

Poppins            You find the fun, and snap! The job's a game

            And every task you undertake

            Becomes a piece of cake

            A lark, a spree it's very clear to see

            That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

            The medicine go down. Medicine go down

            Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

            In a most delightful way

 (Poppins snaps at trunk.  It magically opens & all the rag dolls, stuffed animals, etc have come to life, climb out of the box, place themselves around the room)



The honeybees that fetch the nectar from the flowers to the comb

            Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro

 

            Because they take a little nip from every flower that they sip



            And hence

TOYS:            And hence   (toys begin to straighten and clean)

            They find

TOYS:            They find

POPPINS & TOYS:         Their task is not a grind

For a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

            The medicine go down.  Medicine go down



Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

In a most delightful way

JANE & MICHAEL         AHHHHHHHHHHH.  (flabbergasted by the magic & now inspired to join)

TOYS, POPPINS,        Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

JANE & MICHAEL        The medicine?

TOYS            Go Down, Medicine

Jane & MIchael        Go down

TOYS, Popp, J&M        Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

            In the most delightful way

TOYS            Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

JANE & MICHAEL        THE MEDICINE GO DOWN

POPPIN            MEDICINE GO DOWN

TOYS            JUST A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR HELPS THE MEDICINE GO DOWN

MICHAEL & JANE        IN A MOST DELIGHTFUL WAY

TOYS, M&J, POPP        IN A MOST DELIGHTFUL WAY

            Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

            The medicine go down, medicine go down.

            Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down

Mary            In the most delightful way

JANE & MICHAEL        In the most delightful

Toys, J&M, Popp        In the most delightful way!

POPPINS (to helper toys)    Thank you. That will be quite sufficient. Back you go  (a little exit music for the toys)  Now children. Hats and coats, please. It's time for our outing in the park.

Michael        I don't want an outing. I want to play “Tidy Up” again.

Jane:        Yes, let’s do it again.


Poppins:        There will be ample opportunities to clean your room.  Come along, please. Spit spot! And off we go.

 
Scene 6:  An Outing to the Park/ “Jolly Holiday”




MUSIC #5A - All Me own Work……….(Bert, Bertolt, Bertha)


(During scene change we hear a thunderclap as the light come up on Park with Street light, benches, fountain with statues (?!) of Penguins.  The Berts are chalking on the ground)

BERT:            Chim Chiminey

BERTOLT:        Chim Chiminey

BERTHA:        Chim Chim Cheroo

ALL B’s:            We Does What We Likes and We Likes What we do.

BERT:            Today I’m a screever

BERTOLT        And as you can see

ALL Bs:            A Screever’s an Artist of Highest Degree

BERTHA         And it’s all me own work

ALL B’s            From me own memory

CONSTABLE:    There you go again, defacing the sidewalks.

BERT:        Aww, Constable, we’re cheering up the place.

CONSTABLE:    Why dya keep chalking pictures when it’s gonna rain, and they’ll wash away?

BERTHA:        Because art improves the world, Constable.

CONSTABLE:    Is that so?  (Someone strolling in the park tosses a coin in Bert’s hat.)

BERTOLT:    And sometimes, when you’re lucky, it improves your pocketbook.  (to stroller) Thank you ma’am.

CONSTABLE:    Well have at it, then, Rembrandts.  It’s a waste ‘a time, in my book.  Nothing like a regular job with regular hours and a pension to look forward to. (exits)

(All Berts look at each other and grimace at the prospect of a 50 hour workweek.  Enter Poppins, Jane, Michael.  They see her and instantly hop up to greet her)

BERT’s        Mary Poppins! (improvise greetings)

MICHAEL    How do you know them?  You only just arrived.

POPPINS        I wasn’t born one minute before I walked into your house, Michael Banks.  Bert, Bertolt, Bertha, have you met these two?

BERTOLT:    We seen ‘em running’ about chasin’ a kite.

MICHAEL:    It isn’t a real kite. We don’t know how to make it work.

BERTHA:        So what are you hooligans up to today?

JANE:        Mary Poppins says it’s a game.  It’s called “A Walk in the Park.”

MICHAEL:    Some game.  I’d rather eat spinach. And we arent’ hooligans.  We’re respectable child.

BERT:        Oh, is that so.  We apologizes.  I think you’ll find it a very jolly game, if you give it a chance.  

BERTOLT:    When you’re with Mary Poppins...

BERTHE:        “A Walk in the Park” is  like a park you’ve never been to before.

BERT:        Like a park you’ve never dreamed of before.

ALL Bs:        The most unusual things can happen.

JANE:        Mary Poppins, why are we having a conversation with...with….these people

MICHAEL:    Father would never approve.

POPPINS:        Oh really, and why is that?

JANE:        Well to start with, they’re very dirty.

POPPINS:        Bert, Bertolt, Bertha.  How would you like to join us in our game ?

ALL B’s:        We’d be honored to play “A Walk in the Park”.  (The children are scandalized)

BERT: (pointing to his chalk drawing) Now this is how I see the park.

JANE:        You’re sky is purple, that’s just plain silly.

MICHAEL:    There’s colorful creatures in your fountain, not gray statues.

JANE:        It’s not at all like a real park



MUSIC #6- JOLLY HOLIDAY……..(Bert, Bertha, Bertolt, Poppins, Jane Michael, Constable?, Chorus, Penguins)

ALL B’s:        All that it takes is a spark, then something plain as a park becomes a wonderland

BERT:            ALL YOU ‘AVE TO DO IS LOOK ANEW,

            THEN YOU’LL UNDERSTAND…

            WHY IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY

            MARY MAKES YER HEART SO LIGHT



POPPINS:    Oh, really!

BERTOLT:        WHEN THE DAY IS GREY AND ORDINARY,

            MARY MAKES THE SUN SHINE BRIGHT.

POPPINS:        You do talk nonsense, Bertolt.

BERTHA:            OH, ‘APPINESS IS BLOOMIN ALL AROUND ‘ER.

            THE DAFFODILS ARE SMILING AT THE DOVE

POPPINS:        I haven’t the faintest idea what --

BERT            WHEN MARY ‘OLDS YOUR ‘AND, YOU FEEL SO GRAND.

            YOUR ‘EART STARTS BEATIN’

ALL B’S            LIKE A BIG BRASS BAND

POPPINS    Sh!  The lot of you are all brass.

ALL B’s (Whispering)    OH, IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY

            NO WONDER THAT IT’S MARY THAT WE LOVE!

POPPINS        Come along, children.

ALL B’s        Off we go



(BERTS & POPPINS exit.  JANE & MICHAEL disgruntled, sit on a bench near fountain statues. Chorus of drab, boring grannies enter)

JANE & MICHAEL        BORING, JUST LIKE OTHER NANNIES



THINKING PARKS ARE GOOD FOR US

IT’S JUST STATUES, DUCKS AND GRANNIES

I DON’T UNDERSTAND ALL THE FUSS

JANE            IS SHE DOING IT TO SPITE US?

MICHAEL:        WE COULD LOSE HER FOR A LARK

JANE            PERHAPS IT’S ALL A PLOT

MICHAEL        I’LL TELL YOU WHAT

SHE SEEMS SO DIFFERENT

JANE & MICHAEL:        BUT I BET SHE’S NOT.



THERE’S NOTHING TO EXCITE US IN (creaking sound)

THE (Another creak)

PARK (Creaking louder and more confident)

JANE        What was that?

NELEUS:        You’re quite wrong you know.

(JANE and MICHAEL are terrified by the sight of a statue coming to life.  They attempt to hide from it)

MICHAEL:    What...Who are you…?

NELEUS:        I’m Neleus...child of Poseidon.  Surely you know that.  You’ve walked by me often enough.  I’ve waited half a century to play, “A Walk in the Park”

MICHAEL & JANE:    What’s happening?!?!



(POPPINS and BERTS return in outlandishly bright summer clothes.  As they sing, the park is transformed to the most beautiful colors. POPPINS weave among the people strolling in the park take off their drab coats to transform into brightly-colored lively people. )       

ALL B’s:            AIN’T IT A GLORIOUS DAY



RIGHT AS A MORNIN’ IN MAY

NELIUS:            I FEEL LIKE I COULD FLY

POPPINS            HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE GRASS SO GREEN

OR A PURPLE SKY

STROLLERS        PURPLE, PURPLE SKY


ALL B’S & NELIUS        OH IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY

            BETTER THAN WE’VE EVER KNOWN

POPPINS            YOU CAN ASK THE PASSING STATUARY

NELIUS,BERTS,POPPINS STROLLERS    NOTHING’S EVER SET IN STONE


POLICE (In a Seuss-style brightly colored hat instead of constable hat)  Morning Mary!

POPPINS:        Morning Constable


BERTS:        Who painted your hat, sir?
CONSTABLE:    Why, I did. (takes out a paintbrush instead of a billy club)  Think I’m ready for the royal academy?  (spins Nelius around)
CONSTABLE        EACH CHILD OUT IN A FOG

            WILL STAND AGOG

            TO SEE A STATUE TAKE A GENTLE JOG

BERTS & NELIUS        OH, IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY

NELIUS            NO WONDER THAT IT’S MARY THAT WE LOVE

POPPINS        IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH YOU FRIENDS

            GENTLE FOLK LIKE YOU ARE FEW

            THOUGH YOU’RE ALL JUST DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH, DEARS

            UNDERNEATH YOUR BLOOD IS BLUE



ALL:            YOUR BLOOD IS BLUE!

JANE:            That means royalty!!!

POPPINS:        YOU’D NEVER THINK OF PRESSING YOUR ADVANTAGE FOREBEARANCE IS THE HALLMARK OF YOUR CREED

A PERSON NEEDN’T FEAR WHEN YOU ARE NEAR

YOUR SWEET GENTILITY IF CRYSTAL-CLEAR

ALL:            IT’S CRYSTAL CLEAR!

MICHAEL & JANE:    OH, IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH YOU, FRIENDS!

BERTS/NELIUS/POLICE    IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY

ALL            A JOLLY, JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH YOU

(During instrumental dance section of 8 Eights, Fountain Statues throw off their concrete and transform into crazy colorful body sack creatures who dance together and with  POPPINS, BERTS, NELIUS, & POLICE and the Park Strollers.  Creatures get in a chase, dance sequence with NELIUS, JANE, MICHAEL)

JANE & MICHAEL:        Mary Poppins...eh  help, please.

POPPINS:            You’ve only got yourselves to blame, children.

(dance continues are SACK CREATURES, NELIUS get all the strollers to dance)

   


STROLLERS

OH, ITS A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY

MARY MAKES YOUR HEART SO LIGHT.

WHEN THE DAY IS GREY AND ORDINARY,

MARY MAKES THE SUN SHINE BRIGHT

OH, IT’S A JOLLY HOLIDAY WITH MARY

NO WONDER THAT IT’S MARY THAT WE LOVE.

BERT/PENGUINS/POLICE/NELIUS

LET’S GO FOR A JAUNTY SAUNTER

WE ARE BOUND TO MAKE A MARK

LOOKS LIKE ALL OF US WERE BORN TO

TAKE A PROMENADE IN THE PARK.

IT’S NO WONDER THAT IT’S MARY THAT WE LOVE.



NO WONDER THAT IT’S MARY THAT WE LOVE.
(A rainstorm breaks.  POPPINS has disappeared during last chorus to change back to ordinary clothes. Everyone puts back on the drab coats on stage.  Statues return to their stone selves. Color drains.  JANE & MICHAEL are dumbfounded. )

music #6B-bit of imagination………...ORCHESTRA

JANE:        Did you see what I saw?


MICHAEL    Did that really happen?
(POPPINS Re-enters with umbrella open)

POPPINS:        Anything can happen... if you let it.  Now come along children, before you’re soaked to the bone.


MICHAEL:    That was some game!
JANE:        Mary Poppins, how long will you stay with us?
POPPINS:        We’ll see
MICHAEL    You won’t leave us, will you, Mary Poppins?
POPPINS:        I’ll stay until the wind changes.  
JANE        Until the wind changes?!?
POPPINS:     Gracious, we need to get you home. Don’t dawdle, now.  Spit spot!
MICHAEL:    I can’t wait to tell Father and Mother.  
(Lights out.  Set up house interior.  Next morning.)

Scene 7: The Plan to go to the Bank
Admiral:        Glorious morning, Binnacle. Glorious! No one sleeps this morning. Put in a double charge of powder.

Binnacle:    A double charge? Aye, aye, sir.

Admiral:        Shake things up a bit, what?  
MISS LARK:    Good morning, Admiral Boom.
ADMIRAL:    Good Morning, Miss Lark.  Glorious Day to you.
MISS LARK:    Aren’t you going to greet my little pup?
ADMIRAL:    I don’t cow-tow to lapdogs, Madam
(WILLOUGHY snarls and barks at the admiral)
BINNACLE:    Maybe I should aim the cannon at the mongrel, sir?
MISS LARK:    Of all the nerve! (she exits in a huff)  Willoughby, you are not a mongrel.   You are a pedigree, and the apple of everyone’s eye.  
ADMIRAL:    So much for the glorious morning.
(Meanwhile, in No 17 Cherry Lane…)   
Mrs. Banks:    Lovely, lovely morning, Ellen.

Ellen:        Indeed it is, ma'am. Absolutely, perfect.

Mrs. Banks:    Have you put the overripe tomatoes in my carryall?

Ellen:        Yes, ma'am.

Mrs. Banks:    After our ladies protest meeting at the Albert Hall, we're all going to Downing street, to throw things at the prime minister.
ELLEN:        Then I’ll put in some eggs, too, Missus.
MRS BANKS:    Oh, how distinguished you look this morning, George.

(Strange singing noises from the kitchen)

Mr. Banks:    What's all that fearful caterwauling in the kitchen?

Mrs. Banks:    It's Mrs. Brill singing.
Mr. Banks:    The Cook singing? What's wrong with her?

Mrs. Banks:    She's happy as a cricket. As a matter of fact, since you hired Mary Poppins, the most extraordinary thing seems to have come over the household.

Mr. Banks:    Is that so?

Mrs. Banks:    Take Ellen for instance. She hasn't broken a dish all morning.

Mr. Banks:    Really? Well, that is extraordinary.

Mrs. Banks:    And another thing. She and Cook usually fight like cats and dogs, but today--

Mrs. Brill:(singing)Let me hold the door for you, Ellen dear. (Ellen enters with coffee on a tray for GEORGE)

Ellen:        Thanks ever so, duckie.

Mr. Banks:    That infernal singing, if you can call it that, is giving me a headache.

Ellen:        Yes, sir. Would you kindly lower your voice Mrs. Brill. You're giving the master a headache.
Mrs. Brill:     Ellen, thank you for informing me.  Of course, sir. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well this glorious morning.

Mr. Banks:    Who said I'm not feeling well? I'm fit as a fiddle. I just don't understand why everyone's so confoundedly cheerful!

Jane & Michael:    Good morning, father.  We had the most wonderful day yesterday.
GEORGE:        Yes. yes.  No more cheerful chatter right now, or I’ll be late to work. (packing up his briefcase)
JANE:        Mary Poppins taught us how to play, “Tidy Up.”
WINIFRED    It’s a wonderful game dear.  You should see the nursery, it’s never been so orderly.
GEORGE:        Cleaning is a game, now, is it?
JANE:        Oh yes father, the toys came to life and did all the work, spit spot, we hardly had to do a thing.
MICHAEL:    And then Mary Poppins made us play “A Walk in the Park”  in the park.
JANE:        And the statues came to life in glorious colors--
MICHAEL    And the sky turned purple--
JANE:        And we danced with street artists--
WINIFRED:    How delightful, my dears.
GEORGE:        What are you going on about, children?  Utter nonsense.
POPPINS: (enters putting on her hat and buttoning her coat)  I quite agree.  Perfect nonsense, children.
MICHAEL:    But Mary Poppins,  you made it happen.  It was real.
POPPINS:        Tut, tut Michael.  We don’t contradict our elders.
JANE:        Mary Poppins!  What games are we going to play today?!
GEORGE:    (Ellen helps George on with his coat.  George is surprised by her kindness and isn’t paying too much attention to the conversation)    Too many games will spoil the children.  Don’t waste their minds on frivolous fantasies. Winifred, see that Mary Poppins makes them  do something serious today.
MICHAEL:    Father, come fly a kite with us.
GEORGE:        Are you out of your mind, young man?!  Who is to pay the bills if I drop everything to play with you?
POPPINS:        No, Michael, that’s far too ‘frivolous.’
GEORGE:    (surprised)    I quite agree.  Now, Mary Poppins, the children have been talking extravagantly and I find it disturbing--purple skies?  statues coming to life?  dancing with street people?  These are highly questionable outings, and must be discontinued immediately.

JANE & MICHAEL    Oh Father, we were having fun.

GEORGE:        Precisely the problem.  They need to learn about the seriousness of life.

WINIFRED:    But George, they’re just children.

GEORGE:        Do you understand me, Mary Poppins?

POPPINS:        Indubitably.  And that is why they propose to see your workplace.

GEORGE/MICHAEL/JANE/WINIFRED:        What?!

POPPINS:        To follow in your footsteps, to learn practicality, and finance.

GEORGE:      Well, I didn’t exactly mean for them--

POPPINS:        And that is why, children, today your father wants you to visit him at the bank. (all look perplexed.  to JANE and MICHAEL)  Agreed? (they nod tentatively.  Poppins addresses George)  I assume you agree, sir.  It was your idea.

GEORGE:     It was?  Er...um...yes, I suppose so.

WINIFRED:    Excuse me dear, to your posts everyone.

ADMIRAL , BINNACLE & WINIFRED:    Four, three, two one, FIRE!

(cannon shakes the neighborhood)



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