《Sermon Illustrations (D~F)》(a compilation) table of contents
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- Erma Bombeck.
- Charles Sell, Unfinished Business , Multnomah, 1989, p. 171ff.
- J. Dobson and G. Bauer, Children at Risk Word, 1990, p. 167.
- Dr. George Rekers, Homemade , vol. 11, no. 1.
- Linda Anderson, Daily Bread , 1989.
- James Turnbull, Encounter , Vol 15, 3, February, 1980.
- Father Andrew Greeley, Psychology Today , quoted in His , Jan, 1977.
- M.R. De Haan II. How Does a Father Do It
- James Dobson, On the Father Front , Spring, 1994, p. 2.
- "Our very survival as a nation will depend on the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home." Dr. James Dobson, Focus on the Family.
- Karl K. Warner, "Dad," U.S.A. Today , Monday, June 15, p. 11c.
- Dr. Seymour Diamond, M.D., in Homemade, October, 1982.
- Christianity Today , March 23, 1979.
- Josh McDowell, The Dad Difference.
- Keith Meyering, Discipleship Journal , issue 49, p. 41.
- The Washington Post , July 21, 1993, p. E13.
- J. Dobson G. Bauer, Children at Risk , Word, 1990, pp. 167-168.
Lengthy IllustrationsWhen the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame. And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put Fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping." And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child-size, who would children have to look up to?" And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy. And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats." And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands." And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?" And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus." God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?" And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill." God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?" The angel shuteth up. Erma Bombeck. 
In his men's seminar, David Simmons, a former cornerback for the Dallas Cowboys, tells about his childhood home. His father, a military man, was extremely demanding, rarely saying a kind word, always pushing him with harsh criticism to do better. The father had decided that he would never permit his son to feel any satisfaction from his accomplishments, reminding him there were always new goals ahead. When Dave was a little boy, his dad gave him a bicycle, unassembled, with the command that he put it together. After Dave struggled to the point of tears with the difficult instructions and many parts, his father said, "I knew you couldn't do it." Then he assembled it for him. When Dave played football in high school, his father was unrelenting in his criticisms. In the backyard of his home, after every game, his dad would go over every play and point out Dave's errors. "Most boys got butterflies in the stomach before the game; I got them afterwards. Facing my father was more stressful than facing any opposing team." By the time he entered college, Dave hated his father and his harsh discipline. He chose to play football at the University of Georgia because its campus was further from home than any school that offered him a scholarship. After college, he became the second round draft pick of the St. Louis cardinal's professional football club. Joe Namath (who later signed with the New York Jets), was the club's first round pick that year. "Excited, "I telephoned my father to tell him the good news. He said, 'How does it feel to be second?'" Despite the hateful feelings he had for his father, Dave began to build a bridge to his dad. Christ had come into his life during college years, and it was God's love that made him turn to his father. During visits home he stimulated conversation with him and listened with interest to what his father had to say. He learned for the first time what his grandfather had been like--a tough lumberjack known for his quick temper. Once he destroyed a pickup truck with a sledgehammer because it wouldn't start, and he often beat his son. This new awareness affected Dave dramatically. "Knowing about my father's upbringing not only made me more sympathetic for him, but it helped me see that, under the circumstances, he might have done much worse. By the time he died, I can honestly say we were friends." Charles Sell, Unfinished Business, Multnomah, 1989, p. 171ff.
12 Practical Ways for Men to Impact Fatherless Kids: 1. Be a mentor to a boy without a father through Big Brother or some other agency 2. Contact your local junior or senior high school to tutor a needy kid 3. Teach Sunday School 4. Become a leader in Awana, Pioneer Clubs, or Adventure Club 5. Meet one-on-one weekly, with a boy in your church or neighborhood who doesn't have a father in the home 6. Become a leader in Boy Scouts or Cub Scouts 7. Coach Little League or some other sport 8. Volunteer to work with needy kids in an inner city ministry 9. Hire a potentially "at risk" kid for yard work or in your business 10. Become active youth leaders in your local church or a parachurch organization 11. Start a church-based sports league that reaches out to needy kids in the community 12. Lead a Bible study in a juvenile detention center or group home June 1996 issue of The Standard (pp 20-23), published by the Baptist General Conference, 2002 S. Arlington Heights Rd., Arlington Heights, IL.
William Bennett put is succinctly in a 1986 speech on the family in Chicago when he asked, "Where are the fathers? ... Generally, the mothers are there struggling. For nine out of ten children in single parent homes, the father is the one who isn't there. One-fifth of all American children live in homes without fathers ... Where are the fathers? Where are the men? Wherever they are, this much is clear: too many are not with their children. J. Dobson and G. Bauer, Children at Risk Word, 1990, p. 167.
A positive and continuous relationship to one's father has been found to be associated with a good self-concept, higher self- esteem, higher self-confidence in personal and social interaction, higher moral maturity, reduced rates of unwed teen pregnancy, greater internal control and higher career aspirations. Fathers who are affectionate, nurturing and actively involved in child-rearing are more likely to have well- adjusted children. Dr. George Rekers, Homemade, vol. 11, no. 1.
An Open Letter to Family Men: She was blond and beautiful, with azure eyes and a tumble of tawny curls. At three years of age, she would climb into her daddy's lap, snuggle up with a wide, satisfied smile, and purr, "This is my safe place!" And so it was. Dads, husbands, YOU are the "safe place." You are our protector and provider. And when you gather us for a time with God, we need a safe place. A safe place, not a lecture. A safe place, not a sermon. A very human dad/husband who simply cares about God and us. We don't need or even want a "spiritual giant." We just want you. And we need a gathering time (phone unplugged) where it's safe to say to each other, "How are you and the Lord getting along?" "How can we pray today?" We need a safe place to cry laugh, sing, rejoice, challenge, share, and sometimes not to share and have it be okay. We need a time with you that's relaxed--unstiff, when we can pray honestly, in simple sentences, from our hearts. Unfixed. Unrigid. Unroutine. Unshackled. We need a place where irregular opinions are respected, and where God has the last word. We need a gentleman leader, not a general. Gracious. Relaxed. Human. A family shepherd who exhibits not infallible authority, but a thirst for God. Every day? Not necessarily. Often? Yes. Long? No. Where? Anywhere. How? Sense where we're at, and zero in. We may need heavy-duty confessing to each other and to God...silent prayer...exuberant praise (try sing-a- long tapes)...Bible study. But not every time. Thanks for listening, Dad (Husband). Remember, we need you. Your family. Linda Anderson, Daily Bread, 1989.
The assumption that boys learn to be masculine by following the example of their fathers is a myth, according to Dr. James Turnbull, a psychiatrist at the University of Texas Health Science Center. Fathers in middle-and lower-income families spend only about 25 minutes each week in direct one-to-one relationships with their growing sons. "The images on TV and in advertising showing boys and their fathers playing touch football, fishing and building model aircraft...simply don't reflect real life," said Turnbull. Turnbull's studies of fatherless homes in middle to lower-income brackets found the key to personality development was based upon the sons' relationships with their mothers. "Fathers are certainly important in shaping their son's behavior, but mothers, peer groups and other adult males usually have more contact with the boys," he said. "If a father is present, he tends to modify the mother's influence with comments such as 'You're spoiling the boy,' or 'Boys don't play with dolls' and other reactions to behavior. The father's treatment of the mother serves as an example for the son of how to interact with members of the opposite sex." In fatherless homes, Turnbull said, the mother's attitude toward men and her degree of protection toward her son seem to be keys to a boy's development. The most critical times are between the ages of 30 months and 5 years and during early adolescence. James Turnbull, Encounter, Vol 15, #3, February, 1980.
We are finding that both men and women get their basic religious style, trusting or paranoid, regardless of creed, from their fathers. And you can guess what the decisive variable is--it's whether things were pretty good between their parents, whether the father trusted the mother. So a failure in one generation starts a cycle of paranoia down through the generations to come. Father Andrew Greeley, Psychology Today, quoted in His, Jan, 1977.
Well-trained is the son who can hang onto his father's words as well as he can a flyball (Prov 4:4). Happy will be the child who cries because his dad loves him (Prov 10:12) A wise father hates sin in order to love his son. A good father shows the value of a book as well as a buck. The dad who wonders how much of a teacher he needs to be would do well to go to the school of Solomon. The man who finds a good woman should show his son how to avoid a bad one (Prov 2,5,6,7,9). What a father knows about sex might help his children as much as surprise them (Prov 23:26-8). A wise son makes a glad dad as much as a foolish one makes a glum mum (Prov 10:1). Thank God for Fathers who not only gave us life but taught us what to do with it. If you're amazed at how hard your dad can make it for you, try it without him (Prov 15:5). Double whammy; foolish son and contentious mammy (Prov 19:13). M.R. De Haan II.
How Does a Father Do It? Finding the right balance between the work place and home front can be a guilt trip, but it doesn't have to be that way. Look over the list of possible improvements you can make in the way you balance career and family. But instead of viewing this as one more long list of things to do, imagine yourself already doing something on the list. The mind doesn't distinguish between imagined and real success when it draws upon positive experiences, even imaginary ones, to reinforce good habits-in-the-making. Try imagining yourself combining work and family life in the ways listed below. - Keep it simple. It is doesn't add to the happiness of your family, then change it. - Set aside time after dinner to help your kids with their homework. - Remember what you were like as a kid, and cut some slack for your kids. Keep important things in focus: family unity, values, fun and education. - Listen at all times: to mealtime stories, to the chatter over dishwashing, to bedtime prayers. - Create family rituals: Saturday morning pancakes, Sunday night pizza, Monday night health club, Thursday night piano recital. - Include children in your planning and decision-making regarding things like weekly chore assignments, summer vacation plans and special monthly events. - Hold family councils once a month to discuss pet peeves, rules, rewards and punishments. - Be both loving and firm in setting, negotiating and enforcing rules. - Let the answering machine take calls during the dinner hour and at bedtime. Or, take the phone off the hook. - Loves isn't something you buy. Your kids spell it T-I-M-E and it costs more than M-O-N-E-Y. - It's better to play 15 or 20 minutes spontaneously and have fun, then go do chores, work or other priorities, than to spend all day at the zoo (or ballgame or the mall) feeling angry, guilty, or worried. - Find one common mission or cause that your family loves to do together, instead of splintering your volunteer activities in several different directions. This partial list was gleaned from "How Does a Mother Do It?" That's the title of a brochure published by Mars Candy that compiles tips for Working Mother of the Year. We've adapted it. More importantly, what do you believe--and do--about this delicate balancing act? James Dobson, On the Father Front, Spring, 1994, p. 2.
"Becoming husbands and fathers is the universal prescription of human societies for the socialization of the male. It is how societies link male aggression, energy, purpose--maleness--to a pro-social purpose. The most important predictor of criminal behavior is not race, not income, not religious affiliation. It's a father absence. It's boys who grow up without their fathers." David Blankenhorn, founder of the Institute for American Values. "Is it possible to reconnect fathers to their children? To reverse societal trends that produced the separation in the first place? To fashion government policies and reshape attitudes regarding fathers themselves? Probably. But not until we reconvince ourselves of what used to be common sense: Children need their fathers." William Rasberry, syndicated columnist for the Washington Post. "Men have to be persuaded that bringing up children is a very important part of their life. Motherhood has been praised to the skies, but the greatest praise men can give to that role is for them to share in doing it." Ruth Bader Ginsburg, U.S. Supreme Court Justice. "Our very survival as a nation will depend on the presence or absence of masculine leadership in the home." Dr. James Dobson, Focus on the Family. James Dobson, On the Father Front, Spring, 1994, p. 2.
Father's Favorite Sayings: The man on the top of the mountain didn't fall there. Joe Kosanovic's Dad Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. Rich Constand's Dad Marry a big woman; someone to give you shade in the summer and warmth in the winter. Bill Bodin's Dad An excuse is a poor patch for the garment of failure. Bruce Ley's Dad Never try to catch two frogs with one hand. Rea Hunt's Dad Always throw away the box when you take the last piece of candy. Paul Whalen's Dad Honesty is like a trail, once you get off it you realize you are lost. Mark Young's Dad Remember who you are and where you came from. Thomas Leone's Dad Wherever you are in life, first make friends with the cook. Bill Lewis's Dad Don't shake the tree too hard, you never know what might fall out. Timothy Davis's Dad A closed mouth gathers no feet. John Beard Jr's Dad Measure twice, cut once. Sandra Schultz's Dad The second time you get kicked in the head by a mule it's not a learning experience. Ebb Dozier Jr's Dad Never buy anything that eats. Neal Bashor's Dad You need to do what you have to do before you can do what you want to do. Reed Caster's Dad Well, you know what happens when you wrestle with pigs, you get all dirty and they love it. Dennie Morgan's Dad This is a democratic family; everyone gets a vote and I get five. Carolee Wende's Dad I but you books and buy you books and all you do is read the covers. Kelley Blaner's Dad If you're afraid to go too far, you will never go far enough. Kasey Warner's Dad If you don't need it, don't buy it. Nicholas Pieroni's Dad Selling is just like shaving, if you don't do it every day you're a bum. Mark Johnson's Dad If this is the worst thing that happens to you in life, don't worry about it. John Taylor's Dad Never be so broke that you cannot afford to pay attention. Michael Brose's Dad You live to work, you work to live, but if you work to work I hope you don't live by me. Cole Thurman's Dad If it is to be, it's up to me. Jeff Wilson's Dad Successful people make a habit of doing things that failures don't like to do. Charles H. Deal, Jr's Dad Don't let your studies interfere with your education. Eber Smith's Dad Don't be foolish just because you know how to. Maynard Alfstad's Dad Marry your best friend. Patrice Altenhofen's Dad Peer pressure is a crack in the armor of your own conviction. Peter W. Troy's Dad Knowing what's right from wrong is education, doing what's right is execution. The latter is the hard part. Bambi Troy's Dad The difference always is attitude. Suzie Slater'd Dad You have to eat an elephant in small bites. John Burke's Dad The one who quits last--wins. Paul Gesl's Dad Potential means you haven't done your best yet. Melissa and Nicholas West's Dad Do you know what happened when I found out all the answers? They changed all the questions. Carmella Leone's Dad The golden rule: the guy who's got the gold makes the rules. Paul Wagner's Dad If everybody else is doing it, it is probably wrong. Karl K. Warner, "Dad," U.S.A. Today, Monday, June 15, p. 11c.
The lack of attentiveness to children's needs by fathers has produced great changes in the American home. Fathers spend an average of only 38 seconds a day being totally attentive and 20 minutes being partially attentive to their children's needs. Associated with these changes are the rising teen-age suicide rate, which has tripled in the last 20 years, and the increasing incidence of delinquent behavior, which will bring one of nine adolescents in the U.S. into a courtroom this year. Dr. Seymour Diamond, M.D., in Homemade, October, 1982.
James Dobson cited a Cornell University study showing that fathers of preschool children on the average spend 37.7 seconds per day in real contact with their youngsters. In contrast, the study indicated that children watch television approximately 54 hours per week. Christianity Today, March 23, 1979.
Josh McDowell has been trying to find out what dads are doing in Christian families, and the news isn't good. In his book The Dad Difference, McDowell reveals that there seems to be a parenting gap. These statistics are from McDowell's book: The average teen in our churches spends only 2 minutes a day in meaningful dialogue with his dad. 25% of these teens say they have never had a meaningful conversation with their father--a talk centered on the teens' interests. Josh McDowell, The Dad Difference.
One startling bit of research conducted by the Christian Business Men's Committee found the following: When the father is an active believer, there is about a seventy-five percent likelihood that the children will also become active believers. But if only the mother is a believer, this likelihood is dramatically reduced to fifteen percent. Keith Meyering, Discipleship Journal, issue #49, p. 41.
Armand Nicholi, of Harvard University, found that American parents spend less time with their children than parents in any other country except Great Britain. Even compared with their Russian counterparts, American fathers spend two fewer hours a day interacting with their children. The Washington Post, July 21, 1993, p. E13.
Studies show that the absence of the father expresses itself in male children in two very different ways: it is linked to increased aggressiveness on one hand, and greater manifestations of effeminacy on the other. A 1987 study of violent rapists found that 60 percent of them came from single-parent homes. A Michigan State University study of adolescents who committed homicides found that 75 percent of them were from broken homes. Girls without fathers fare no better. They become sexually active sooner and are more likely to have out-of-wedlock children. J. Dobson & G. Bauer, Children at Risk, Word, 1990, pp. 167-168.
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