The Feminine Mystique



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The Feminine Mystique ( PDFDrive ) (1)
Times Magazine or Redbook. She is studied in college classrooms by girls taking courses in anthropology, sociology, psychology,
education, and marriage and family life in graduate schools by those who will one day teach girls and counsel women in medical schools by future pediatricians and psychiatrists even in theological schools by progressive young ministers. And she is read in the women’s magazines and the Sunday supplements, where she publishes as readily as in the learned journals, by girls and women of all ages.
Margaret Mead is her own best popularizer—and her influence has been felt in almost every layer of American thought.
But her influence, for women, has been a paradox. A mystique takes what it needs from any thinker of the time. The feminine mystique might have taken from Margaret Mead her vision of the infinite variety of sexual patterns and the enormous plasticity of human nature, a vision based on the differences of sex and temperament she found in three primitive societies the Arapesh,
where both men and women were feminine and maternal in personality and passively sexual, because both were trained to be cooperative, unaggressive, responsive to the needs and demands of others the Mundugumor, where both husband and wife were violent,
aggressive, positively sexed, masculine and the Tchambuli, where the woman was the dominant, impersonal managing partner, and the man the less responsible and emotionally dependent person.
If those temperamental attitudes which we have traditionally regarded as feminine—such as passivity, responsiveness, and a willingness to cherish children—can so easily beset up as the masculine pattern in one tribe, and in another be outlawed for the majority of women as well as for the majority of men, we no longer have any basis for regarding such aspects of behavior as sex-linked…. The material suggests that we may say that many,

if not all, of the personality traits which we have called masculine or feminine areas lightly linked to sex, as are the clothing, the manners, and the form of headdress that a society at a given period assigns to either sex.
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From such anthropological observations, she might have passed onto the popular culture a truly revolutionary vision of women finally free to realize their full capabilities in a society which replaced arbitrary sexual definitions with a recognition of genuine individual gifts as they occur in either sex. She had such a vision,
more than once:
Where writing is accepted as a profession that maybe pursued by either sex with perfect suitability, individuals who have the ability to write need not be debarred from it by their sex, nor need they, if they do write, doubt their essential masculinity or femininity…and it is here that we can find a ground-plan for building a society that would substitute real differences for arbitrary ones. We must recognize that beneath the superficial classifications of sex and race the same potentialities exist, recurring generation after generation, only to perish because society has no place for them.
Just as society now permits the practice of an art to members of either sex, so it might also permit the development of many contrasting temperamental gifts in each sex. It would abandon its various attempts to make boys fight and to make girls remain passive, or to make all children fight. No child would be relentlessly shaped to one pattern of behavior, but instead there should be many patterns, in a world that had learned to allow to each individual the pattern which was most congenial to his gifts.
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But this is not the vision the mystique took from Margaret Mead;
nor is it the vision that she continues to offer. Increasingly, in her own pages, her interpretation blurs, is subtly transformed, into a glorification of women in the female role—as defined by their sexual biological function. At times she seems to lose her own

anthropological awareness of the malleability of human personality,
and to look at anthropological data from the Freudian point of view
—sexual biology determines all, anatomy is destiny. At times she seems to be arguing in functional terms, that while woman’s potential is as great and various as the unlimited human potential, it is better to preserve the sexual biological limitations established by a culture. At times she says both things in the same page, and even sounds a note of caution, warning of the dangers a woman faces in trying to realize a human potential which her society has defined as masculine.
The difference between the two sexes is one of the important conditions upon which we have built the many varieties of human culture that give human beings dignity and stature….
Sometimes one quality has been assigned to one sex, sometimes to the other. Now it is boys who are thought of as infinitely vulnerable and in need of special cherishing care, now it is girls. Some people think of women as too weak to workout of doors, others regard women as the appropriate bearers of heavy burdens because their heads are stronger than men’s.”…
Some religions, including our European traditional religions,
have assigned women an inferior role in the religious hierarchy,
others have built their whole symbolic relationship with the supernatural world upon male imitations of the natural functions of women. Whether we deal with small matters or with large,
with the frivolities of ornament and cosmetics or the sanctities of man’s place in the universe, we find this great variety of ways, often flatly contradictory one to the other, in which the roles of the two sexes have been patterned.
But we always find the patterning. We know of no culture that has said, articulately, that there is no difference between men and women except in the way they contribute to the creation of the next generation that otherwise in all respects they are simply human beings with varying gifts, no one of which can be exclusively assigned to either sex.
Are we dealing with a must that we dare not flout because it is rooted so deep in our biological mammalian nature that to flout it means individual and social disease Or with a must that, although not so deeply rooted, still is so very socially convenient and so well tried that it would be uneconomical to flout it—a must which says, for example, that it is easier to get

children born and bred if we stylize the behavior of the sexes very differently, teaching them to walk and dress and act in contrasting ways and to specialize indifferent kinds of work?
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We must also ask What are the potentialities of sex differences?…If little boys have to meet and assimilate the early shock of knowing that they can never create a baby with the sureness and incontrovertibility that is a woman’s birthright,
how does this make them more creatively ambitious, as well as more dependent upon achievement If little girls have a rhythm of growth which means that their own sex appears to them as initially less sure than their brothers, and so gives them a little false flick towards compensatory achievement that almost always dies down before the certainty of maternity, this probably does mean a limitation on their sense of ambition But what positive potentialities are there also?
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In these passages from Male and Female, a book which became the cornerstone of the feminine mystique, Margaret Mead betrays her
Freudian orientation, even though she cautiously prefaces each statement of apparent scientific fact with the small word if But it is a very significant if For when sexual differences become the basis of your approach to culture and personality, and when you assume that sexuality is the driving force of human personality (an assumption that you took from Freud, and when, moreover, as an anthropologist, you know that there are no true-for-every-culture sexual differences except those involved in the act of procreation,
you will inevitably give that one biological difference, the difference in reproductive role, increasing importance in the determination of woman’s personality.
Margaret Mead did not conceal the fact that, after 1931, Freudian rubrics, based on the zones of the body, were part of the equipment she took with heron anthropological field trips Thus she began to equate those assertive, creative, productive aspects of life on which the superstructure of a civilization depends with the penis, and to define feminine creativity in terms of the passive receptivity of the

uterus.
In discussing men and women, I shall be concerned with the primary differences between them, the difference in their reproductive roles. Out of the bodies fashioned for complementary roles in perpetuating the race, what differences in functioning, in capacities, in sensitivities, in vulnerabilities arise How is what men can do related to the fact that their reproductive role is over in a single act, what women can do related to the fact that their reproductive role takes nine months of gestation, and until recently many months of breastfeeding What is the contribution of each sex, seen as itself, not as a mere imperfect version of the other?
Living in the modern world, clothed and muffled, forced to convey our sense of our bodies in terms of remote symbols like walking sticks and umbrellas and handbags, it is easy to lose sight of the immediacy of the human body plan. But when one lives among primitive peoples, where women wear only a pair of little grass aprons, and may discard even these to insult each other or to bathe in a group, and men wear only a very lightly fastened G-string of beaten bark…and small babies wear nothing at all, the basic communications…that are conducted between bodies become very real. In our own society, we have now invented a therapeutic method that can laboriously deduce from the recollections of the neurotic, or the untrammelled phantasies of the psychotic, how the human body, its entrances and exits, originally shaped the growing individual’s view of the world.
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As a matter of fact, the lens of anatomy is destiny seemed to be peculiarly right for viewing the cultures and personalities of Samoa,
Manus, Arapesh, Mundugumor, Tchambuli, Iatmul and Bali right as perhaps it never was right, in that formulation, for Vienna at the end of the nineteenth century or America in the twentieth.
In the primitive civilizations of the South Sea islands, anatomy was still destiny when Margaret Mead first visited them. Freud’s theory that the primitive instincts of the body determined adult personality could find convincing demonstration. The complex goals

of more advanced civilizations, in which instinct and environment are increasingly controlled and transformed by the human mind, did not then form the irreversible matrix of every human life. It must have been much easier to see biological differences between men and women as the basic force in life in those unclothed primitive peoples.
But only if you go to such an island with the Freudian lens in your eye, accepting before you start what certain irreverent anthropologists call the toilet-paper theory of history, will you draw from observations in primitive civilizations of the role of the unclothed body, male or female, a lesson for modern women which assumes that the unclothed body can determine in the same way the course of human life and personality in a complex modern civilization.
Anthropologists today are less inclined to see in primitive civilization a laboratory for the observation of our own civilization,
a scale model with all the irrelevancies blotted out civilization is just not that irrelevant.
Because the human body is the same in primitive South Sea tribes and modern cities, an anthropologist, who starts with a psychological theory that reduces human personality and civilization to bodily analogies, can end up advising modern women to live through their bodies in the same way as the women of the South Seas. The trouble is that Margaret Mead could not recreate a South Sea world for us to live in a world where having a baby is the pinnacle of human achievement. (If reproduction were the chief and only fact of human life, would all men today suffer from uterus envy”?)
In Bali, little girls between two and three walk much of the time with purposely thrust-out little bellies, and the older women tap them playfully as they pass. Pregnant they tease.
So the little girl learns that although the signs of her membership in her own sex are slight, her breasts mere tiny buttons no bigger than her brothers, her genitals a simple inconspicuous fold,
some day she will be pregnant, someday she will have a baby,
and having a baby is, on the whole, one of the most exciting and conspicuous achievements that can be presented to the eyes of small children in these simple worlds, in some of which the largest buildings are only fifteen feet high, the largest boat some twenty feet long. Furthermore, the little girl learns that she will have a baby not because she is strong or energetic or initiating,

not because she works and struggles and tries, and in the end succeeds, but simply because she is a girl and not a boy, and girls turn into women, and in the end—if they protect their femininity—have babies.
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To an American woman in the twentieth century competing in afield which demands initiative and energy and work and in which men resent her success, to a woman with less will and ability to compete than Margaret Mead, how tempting is her vision of that
South Sea world where a woman succeeds and is envied by man just by being a woman.
In our Occidental view of life, woman, fashioned from man’s rib, can at the most strive unsuccessfully to imitate man’s superior powers and higher vocations. The basic theme of the initiatory cult, however, is that women, by virtue of their ability to make children, hold the secret of life. Man’s role is uncertain,
undefined, and perhaps unnecessary. By a great effort man has hit upon a method of compensating himself for his basic inferiority. Equipped with various mysterious noise-making instruments, whose potency rests upon their actual forms being unknown to those who hear the sounds—that is, the women and children must never know that they are really bamboo flutes, or hollow logs…they can get the male children away from the women, brand them as incomplete and themselves turn boys into men. Women, it is true, make human beings, but only men can make men.
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True, this primitive society was a shaky structure, protected by endless taboos and precautions”—by women’s shame, fluttery fear,
indulgence of male vanity—and it survived only as long as everyone kept the rules. The missionary who shows the flutes to the women has broken the culture successfully.”
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But Margaret Mead, who might have shown American men and women the flutes of their own arbitrary and shaky taboos, precautions, shames, fears, and indulgence of male vanity, did not use her knowledge in this way. Out of life the way it was—in Samoa, Bali, where all men envied women

she held up an ideal for American women that gave new reality to the shaky structure of sexual prejudice, the feminine mystique.
The language is anthropological, the theory stated as fact is
Freudian, but the yearning is fora return to the Garden of Eden a garden where women need only forget the divine discontent born of education to return to a world in which male achievement becomes merely a poor substitute for child-bearing.
The recurrent problem of civilization is to define the male role satisfactorily enough—whether it be to build gardens or raise cattle, kill game or kill enemies, build bridges or handle bank shares—so that the male may, in the course of his life,
reach a solid sense of irreversible achievement of which his childhood knowledge of the satisfactions of childbearing has given him a glimpse. In the case of women, it is only necessary that they be permitted by the given social arrangements to fulfill their biological role, to attain this sense of irreversible achievement. If women are to be restless and questing, even in the face of childbearing, they must be made so through education.
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What the feminine mystique took from Margaret Mead was not her vision of woman’s great untested human potential, but this glorification of the female sexual function that has indeed been tested,
in every culture, but seldom, in civilized cultures, valued as highly as the unlimited potential of human creativity, so far mainly displayed by man. The vision the mystique took from Margaret Mead was of a world where women, by merely being women and bearing children,
will earn the same respect accorded men for their creative achievements—as if possession of uterus and breasts bestows on women a glory that men can never know, even though they labor all their lives to create. In such a world, all the other things that a woman can door be are merely pale substitutes for the conception of a child.
Femininity becomes more than its definition by society it becomes a value which society must protect from the destructive onrush of civilization like the vanishing buffalo.
Margaret Mead’s eloquent pages made a great many American women envy the serene femininity of a bare-breasted Samoan, and try

to make themselves into languorous savages, breasts unfettered by civilization’s brassieres, and brains undisturbed by pallid man-made knowledge of the goals of human progress.
Woman’s biological career-line has a natural climax structure that can be overlaid, muted, muffled and publicly denied, but which remains as an essential element in both sexes’
view of themselves. The young Balinese girl to whom one says, Your name is I Tewa?” and who draws herself up and answers, I am Men Bawa” (Mother of Bawa) is speaking absolutely. She is the mother of Bawa; Bawa may die tomorrow,
but she remains the mother of Bawa; only if he had died unnamed would her neighbors have called her Men Belasin,”
“Mother Bereft Stage after stage in women’s life-histories thus stand, irrevocable, indisputable, accomplished. This gives a natural basis for the little girl’s emphasis on being rather than on doing. The little boy learns that he must act like a boy, do things,
prove that he is a boy, and prove it over and over again, while the little girl learns that she is a girl, and all she has to do is to refrain from acting like a boy.
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And so it goes, on and on, until one is inclined to say—so what?
You are born, you grow, you are impregnated, you have a child, it grows this is true of all cultures, recorded or unrecorded, the one we know from life and the recondite ones which only the far-traveled anthropologist knows. But is this all there is to life fora woman today?
It is not to deny the importance of biology to question a definition of woman’s nature that is based so completely on her biological difference from man. Female biology, woman’s biological career- line maybe changeless—the same in Stone Age women twenty thousand years ago, and Samoan women on remote islands, and
American women in the twentieth century—but the nature of the human relationship to biology has changed. Our increasing knowledge, the increasing potency of human intelligence, has given us an awareness of purposes and goals beyond the simple biological needs of hunger, thirst, and sex. Even these simple needs, in men or women today, are not the same as they were in the Stone Age or in

the South Sea cultures, because they are now part of a more complex pattern of human life.
As an anthropologist, of course, Margaret Mead knew this. And for all her words glorifying the female role, there are other words picturing the wonders of a world in which women would be able to realize their full capabilities. But this picture is almost invariably overlaid with the therapeutic caution, the manipulative superiority,
typical of too many American social scientists. When this caution is combined with perhaps an over-evaluation of the power of social science not merely to interpret culture and personality, but to order our lives, her words acquire the aura of a righteous crusade—a crusade against change. She joins the other functional social scientists in their emphasis on adjusting to society as we find it, on living our lives within the framework of the conventional cultural definitions of the male and female roles. This attitude is explicit in the later pages of Male and Female.
Giving each sex its due, a full recognition of its special vulnerabilities and needs for protection, means looking beyond the superficial resemblances during the period of later childhood when both boys and girls, each having laid many of the problems of sex adjustment aside, seem so eager to learn,
and so able to learn the same things. But every adjustment that minimizes a difference, a vulnerability, in one sex, a differential strength in the other, diminishes their possibility of complementing each other, and corresponds—symbolically—to sealing off the constructive receptivity of the female and the vigorous outgoing constructive activity of the male, muting them both in the end to a duller version of human life, in which each is denied the fullness of humanity that each might have had.
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No human gift is strong enough to flower fully in a person who is threatened with loss of sex membership. No matter with what goodwill we may embark on a program of actually rearing both men and women to make their full and special contributions in all the complex processes of civilization—
medicine and law, education and religion, the arts and sciences
—the task will be very difficult….
It is of very doubtful value to enlist the gifts of women if bringing women into fields that have been defined as male

frightens the men, unsexes the women, muffles and distorts the contribution the women could make, either because their presence excludes men from the occupation or because it changes the quality of the men who enter it. It is folly to ignore the signs which warn us that the present terms in which women are lured by their own curiosities and drives developed under the same educational system as boys…are bad for both men and women.
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The role of Margaret Mead as the professional spokesman of femininity would have been less important if American women had taken the example of her own life, instead of listening to what she said in her books. Margaret Mead has lived a life of open challenge,
and lived it proudly, if sometimes self-consciously, as a woman. She has moved on the frontiers of thought and added to the superstructure of our knowledge. She has demonstrated feminine capabilities that go far beyond childbirth she made her way in what was still very much a mans world without denying that she was a woman in fact, she proclaimed in her work a unique woman’s knowledge with which no male anthropologist could compete. After so many centuries of unquestioned masculine authority, how natural for someone to proclaim a feminine authority. But the great human visions of stopping wars, curing sickness, teaching races to live together,
building new and beautiful structures for people to live in, are more than other ways of having children.”
It is not easy to combat age-old prejudices. As asocial scientist,
and as a woman, she struck certain blows against the prejudicial image of woman that may long outlast her own life. In her insistence that women are human beings—unique human beings, not men with something missing—she went a step beyond Freud. And yet, because her observations were based on Freud’s bodily analogies, she cut down her own vision of women by glorifying the mysterious miracle of femininity, which a woman realizes simply by being female, letting the breasts grow and the menstrual blood flow and the baby suck from the swollen breast. In her warning that women who seek fulfillment beyond their biological role are in danger of becoming desexed witches, she spelled out again an unnecessary choice. She persuaded younger women to give up part of their dearly won humanity rather than lose their femininity. In the end she did the very

thing that she warned against, recreating in her work the vicious circle that she broke in her own life:
We may go up the scale from simple physical differences through complementary distinctions that overstress the role of sex difference and extend it inappropriately to other aspects of life, to stereotypes of such complex activities as those involved in the formal use of the intellect, in the arts, in government, and in religion.
In all these complex achievements of civilization, those activities which are mankind’s glory, and upon which depends our hope of survival in this world that we have built, there has been this tendency to make artificial definitions that limit an activity to one sex, and by denying the actual potentialities of human beings limit not only both men and women, but also equally the development of the activity itself….
Here is a vicious circle to which it is not possible to assign either a beginning or an end, in which men’s overestimation of women’s roles, or women’s overestimation of men’s roles leads one sex or the other to arrogate, to neglect, or even to relinquish part of our so dearly won humanity. Those who would break the circle are themselves a product of it, express some of its defects in their every gesture, maybe only strong enough to challenge it,
not able actually to break it. Yet once identified, once analyzed,
it should be possible to create a climate of opinion in which others, a little less the product of the dark past because they have been reared with alight in their hand that can shine backwards as well as forwards, may in turn take the next step.
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Perhaps the feminine protest was a necessary step after the masculine protest made by some of the feminists. Margaret Mead was one of the first women to emerge into prominence in American life after rights for women were won. Her mother was asocial scientist,
her grandmother a teacher she had private images of women who were fully human, she had education equal to any mans. And she was able to say with conviction it’s good to be a woman, you don’t need to copy man, you can respect yourself as a woman. She made a resounding feminine protest, in her life and in her work. And it was a

step forward when she influenced emancipated modern women to choose, with free intelligence, to have babies, bear them with a proud awareness that denied pain, nurse them at the breast and devote mind and body to their care. It was a step forward in the passionate journey—and one made possible by it—for educated women to say
“yes” to motherhood as a conscious human purpose and not a burden imposed by the flesh. For, of course, the natural childbirth- breastfeeding movement Margaret Mead helped inspire was not at all a return to primitive earth-mother maternity. It appealed to the independent, educated, spirited American woman—and to her counterparts in western Europe and Russia—because it enabled her to experience childbirth not as a mindless female animal, an object manipulated by the obstetrician, but as a whole personable to control her own body with her aware mind. Perhaps less important than birth control and the other rights which made woman more equal to man, the work of Margaret Mead helped humanize sex. It took a scientific super-saleswoman to recreate in modern American life even a semblance of the conditions under which primitive tribesmen jealously imitated maternity and bled themselves. (The modern husband goes through the breathing exercises with his wife as she prepares for natural childbirth) But did she oversell women?
It was, perhaps, not her fault that she was taken so literally that procreation became a cult, a career, to the exclusion of every other kind of creative endeavor, until women kept on having babies because they knew no other way to create. She was often quoted out of context by the lesser functionalists and the women’s magazines.
Those who found in her work confirmation of their own unadmitted prejudices and fears ignored not only the complexity of her total work, but the example of her complex life. With all the difficulties she must have encountered, pioneering as a woman in the realm of abstract thought that was the domain of man (a one-sentence review of Sex and Temperament indicates the resentment she often met:
“Margaret, have you found a culture yet where the men had the babies, she has never retreated from the hard road to self- realization so few women have traveled since. She told women often enough to stay on that road. If they only heard her other words of warning, and conformed to her glorification of femininity, perhaps it was because they were not assure of themselves and their human abilities as she was.
Margaret Mead and the lesser functionalists knew the pains, the

risks, of breaking through age-old social strictures.
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This awareness was their justification for qualifying their statements of women’s potentiality with the advice that women not compete with men, but seek respect for their uniqueness as women. It was hardly revolutionary advice it did not upset the traditional image of woman anymore than Freudian thought upset it. Perhaps it was their intention to subvert the old image but instead they gave the new mystique its scientific authority.
Ironically, Margaret Mead, in the s, began to voice alarm at the return of the cavewoman”—the retreat of American women to narrow domesticity, while the world trembled on the brink of technological holocaust. In an excerpt from a book titled American

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