Working With Difficult Interactions
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
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- Navigate this page:
- Chronic Callers
- WHY ARE YOU CALLING US – AGAIN AND AGAIN
- We tell them to call us
- The “Warm and Fuzzies”
- Inconsistent Reinforcement
- We like them
- We have to talk to everyone that calls
- WHO IS A “CHRONIC CALLER”
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERSBy Portia Nelson I I walk, down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in I am lost.... I am helpless It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. II I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again I can't believe I am in the same place but it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. III I walk down the same street There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it there.' I still fall in.... it's a habit, my eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. V I walk down another street. Chronic Callers Chronic Callers, Repeat Callers, Frequent Flyers, or whatever names we assign to this category of callers are a fact of life in the field of telephone Crisis Intervention. It is this presenter’s experience that calls from Chronic Callers is generally between 8% and 12% for most telephone Crisis Intervention services. When asked about Chronic Callers, our workers respond “acceptably” and say they are to be treated the same as any other Caller: non-judgmentally, respectfully, and empathetically. Unspoken is the generally held (and more truthful) feeling that Chronic Callers are a waste of time, draining on both an emotional and a resource level and in general, a pain n the nether regions. Workers feel that since there is no way to help this class of Caller to change their situation why bother interacting with them at all? But, like it or not, we do interact with them. The movie “Broadcast News” has a line that says, “Wouldn’t it be great if depression and low self-esteem made us more lovable instead of less?”10 If this were the case we would be singing the praises of Chronic Callers. Admit it or not, we interact differently with Callers we “like” or feel we can help. Our voice tone and patience level is different with the Caller we feel is working with us to resolve their situation. When the Caller is lost in a sea of helplessness, haplessness, and hopelessness which we personally see no way out of, the negativity is transferred to us and this makes us angry and frustrated. Who are they, those Chronic Callers, to rain on our parade? In this section we will discuss:
WHY ARE YOU CALLING US – AGAIN AND AGAIN? Intuitively we know which of our Callers will develop into Chronic Callers almost from their first contact. Even newly trained Workers quickly develop a sense of which Callers may become problematic. However, until we are sure a particular Caller is a “Chronic” we extend them the full range of our services. Why? Because that is what we are trained to do. Invariably, all of us involved in Crisis Intervention do it because we “want to help”, or we “want to make a difference”. It is this training and desire to “do good” that helps us to create new Chronic Callers and foster the old ones. Let’s look at what we do to start the cycle.
First of all there is our advertising. Usually our publicity identifies our agencies as places to call and talk and get help. This sends a tacit message to the Potential Chronic Caller that we want them to call us. Also think about how you usually end your interactions with Callers. Almost universally we invite them to call us back should the need arise. To the typical Caller this gets put in a mental file as a way to get help should the need arise again. To the Chronic Caller this says “Call us back anytime you want”. It almost seems they don’t want to disappoint us and dutifully make those extra calls.
A basic teaching in Crisis Intervention is that of assessment which requires listening. Without dwelling too deeply on the psychology of the Chronic Caller (and many have a psychological diagnosis) generally they are people who have, for whatever reason, failed to resolve the precipitating situation (crisis). In their failure to move beyond the initial situation they have frequently isolated themselves or have caused themselves to be isolated by alienating those closest to them. In their isolation they feel unheard until they pick up the phone are listened to by the voice on the other side of the connection. Being heard is both validating and comforting on several levels so the foundation is set for numerous calls.
The “high touch” interaction used in Crisis Intervention achieves, through the use of Active Listening, a feels good feeling for our Callers. It enables our regular Callers to connect with us to allow an examination of their situation and needs and then move on to resolution. This form of interaction just plain feels good to the Chronic Caller. When something feels good to us what do we do? We try to duplicate the experience as often as we can. This is exactly what our Chronic Callers do.
As mentioned before most Crisis Intervention workers have a sort of sixth sense that warns them a certain Caller is Chronic, or about to be, without being aware of a contact pattern. Many workers control this sense and interact in the usual fashion with such Callers. However, there are others who subtly, and probably without an awareness of what is happening, alter their usual call taking style into a style that is “appropriately” abrupt and/or aloof. This second experience is not satisfying to the Caller and they will repeatedly call until they can duplicate the desired sense of satisfaction. Because of the inconsistency of the contact experience the power of the desired outcome is heightened which mitigates the disappointment experienced when the interaction does not proceed as hoped for by the Caller. The message the Chronic Caller processes is “The more I call the better the chance I will get what I want”.
While we profess to remain nonjudgmental and try to avoid identifying with individual Callers we do form opinions about them. This is human nature and to deny that this happens is unrealistic. Certain Chronic Callers do exhibit qualities we can find “endearing” and we find it enjoyable talking to them. It is conceivable that there is no Crisis Intervention worker who at one time or another wondered what happened to “that” Chronic Caller who has not maintained their usual contacts. Another dynamic working here is that many interactions with Chronic Callers are “low pressure”. There is no expectation of an outcome, so the time spent on the phone with them is more relaxed…a Chronic Caller timeout.
This is quite a frustrating reality for Workers especially when a Caller reminds them of it. Even if a Caller falls outside an agency’s catchment there is that time spent explaining the mission of the agency and, generally, a referral to a more appropriate resource. The Chronic Callers know we don’t hang up on people and see that as an encouragement to make contact. There are most certainly other reasons Chronic Callers contact us. What is important to take from this discussion is that most of the reasons Chronic Callers call are something we do to invite the contacts. Granted there are some cases where the Chronic Callers psychological diagnosis precipitates the repeated contacts but by in large, it is what we do and how it is perceived by the Caller that begins the cycle. Accepting that our actions play such a role in the issue we can come to develop a means for “controlling” the situation. Before we discuss that let’s next define…. WHO IS A “CHRONIC CALLER”? As mentioned previously we, as Crisis Intervention providers, do not view our Chronic Callers in the same light as our regular inquirers. In public we are very “correct” in how we speak about them. In private the discussion is quite different. We see them as annoyances that sap our energy and resources. We also see them, and ourselves, as failures as a result of our interactions with them. We see Chronic Callers as failures because they “refuse” to change their situation or get better. We see ourselves as failures because we can’t make them “better”. This worker perception of failure represents a source of worker frustration and burnout. What we often forget is that Chronic Callers are people whose regular functioning patterns and perceptions are different from ours and the majority of our Callers. This difference may be, or most likely isn’t, within their control. The actual difference between Chronic Callers and our “Regular” Callers is that "They", for whatever reason, cannot move beyond the state of affairs that precipitated their situation. They pose a different set of problems for the worker. Chronic Callers use the hotline frequently, presenting the same situation in the same manner time after time after time. They seem to call for no other reason other than to chat or hear the sound of their own voice. As a group they do not seem to receive the benefits a hotline is structured to provide. The following criteria can be used to define and identify a “Chronic Caller”:
Most of our inquirers call with specific needs that we address in our interaction and then provide a referral to an appropriate agency. Often this is accomplished in a single call but there are occasions where multiple calls are needed to resolve a given situation. This we find acceptable because the Caller is contacting us about the precipitating issue and is focused actively trying to resolve it. We, and the Caller, can see that there will come a time when resolution will occur. On the other hand the Chronic Caller will make numerous contacts, frequently addressing the same issue, without seeming to take the steps they need to change the “problem”. As no steps to effect change are being made the Caller finds themselves in a repeating cycle of calling
How does the song go? “It’s still the same old story, a fight for love and glory, a case of do or die….”. However, it is important to note that should the “same old story” change it could be an indication the Caller is in need of assistance.
Again a change in presentation could indicate a need for help.
An interesting insight to this dynamic is that often the Chronic Caller, while claiming not to be satisfied with their situation, finds a comfortability in the constancy of their situation. We generally accept that change is difficult and fear inducing. For the Caller whose situation is the same day in and out the “problems” change represents are nullified and the constancy of the situation becomes a “comfy pillow”.
Repetition can be a great teacher. We all have had interactions with Chronic Callers who actively listen as well as we do.
We all have had contacts with Callers whose morning routine seems to be wake up, brush teeth, make coffee, call hotline.
For those that have children the first bedtime reading of Dr. Seuss doesn’t have the same delivery and verve the 50th time around. Sam I Am becomes rote, to say nothing of those green eggs and ham. Directory: files -> public public -> Chris Young sets 2016 “I’m Comin’ Over” Tour headlining dates public -> Table of Content forward introduction public -> Acknowledging using our iris-related facilities and Data as of December 2013, updated July 2014 public -> Theology beacon dictionary of theology public -> Preparation of Papers for ieee transactions and journals public -> The year in bankruptcy: 2009 January/February 2010 public -> Rehabilitation Engineering Research Center for Wireless Technologies Georgia Institute of Technology public -> Rhonda M. Medows, md, Commissioner public -> Housing Counseling Research in Chicago Download 247.24 Kb. Share with your friends:
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