The Plague Dogs

The Plague Dogs

by Richard Adams

To Elizabeth, with whom I first discovered the Lake District

QUEEN: I will try the forces Of these thy compounds on such creatures as We count not worth the hanging, but none human...

CORNELIUS: Your Highness shall from this practice but make hard your heart.

--Shakespeare, Cymbeline

There is in this passage nothing that much requires a note, yet I cannot forbear to push it forward into observation. The thought would probably have been more amplified, had our author lived to be shocked with such experiments as have been published in later times, by a race of men that have practised tortures without pity, and related them without shame, and are yet suffered to erect their heads among human beings.

--Dr. Johnson

To My American

In 1715, when the Scotch Jacobites rose against the newly crowned English King George I, the citizens of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, near the English-Scotch border, shut the city's gates against the southward-moving rebels, thus contributing to their defeat. The disgruntled rebels nicknamed them "Geordies" (the North Country pronunciation of "Georgie") and this became the term for any inhabitant of Tyneside, or of Northumberland and Durham generally, as well as for the dialect spoken there.

Of all dialects spoken in the British Isles, Geordie, to a foreign visitor, is the hardest to understand. Listen to Tyneside workingmen talking among themselves and in all probability you'll understand hardly a word. This is largely because, as recently as a thousand years ago, this area of England--the Scottish border--formed part of the Danish Viking realm. Many Geordie words (e. g., hyem, meaning home) are Scandinavian, and several are entirely different from their English counterparts. (E. g., hoy = throw; darts--mud, dirt; lum--chimney etc.) It is almost another language.

In this book the "tod" (fox), who is a wanderer, speaks Upper Tyneside, a rural form of Geordie, in contradistinction to the farmers and other inhabitants of Dunnerdale and Coniston in the Lake District (where the story takes place), who speak North Lancashire (an easier dialect to understand). In view of the formidable problems, for Americans, of understanding Geordie, even on the printed page, the tod's speech has been a good deal simplified in this American edition. However, to alter it entirely would have been to take much of the salt out of the tod's talk and character. Several Geordie words have therefore been retained. The following is a list of those not likely to be readily comprehensible to American readers.

(ID Asset!: A common exclamation of emphasis, roughly equivalent to "Oh, boy!" or "I'm here to tell you!"

By: Another common exclamation of emphasis. E. g., "By, I'll tell thee it were cold!" This is simply an oath with the oath left out, e. g., "By (God!)," much as Americans sometimes tone down "goddam" to, e. g., "golddurn."

Canny: A much-used adjective, with many meanings. Clever, courageous (e. g., "canny lad"). Useful, welcome, helpful (e. g., "a canny drop of rain"). Careful (e. g., "Ca' canny"--take care). Numerous (e. g., "a canny few sheep"), etc.

Clogged: Fastened.

Fash: Trouble, upset (verb), e. g., "Dinna fash yersel' "--don't upset yourself.

Femmer: Faint-hearted, lacking in energy, courage, or drive.

Fyeul: Fool.

Haddaway!: Go away! Get away! Equivalent to "Get the hell out of it!" but also used figuratively, as equivalent to "What rubbish!" E. g., "Haddaway, ye fond fyeul!"

Hause: The neck or dip of lower-lying land between two peaks in a range; the "band" (as they sometimes call it) connecting one hilltop and the next.

Hemmel: Shed.

Hinny (also marrer): Geordie contains several words meaning mate or friend, and these are used constantly in colloquial speech. In conversation, a Geordie continually addresses almost anyone (not only personal friends) as "lad,"

"hinny," or "marrer. " E. g., "Why ay, hinny" = "Yes, of course, my friend."

"What fettle the day, marrer?" = "How are you today, pal?" Interestingly, one of these many "pal" terms is "butty," which crossed the Atlantic and has become the American "buddy."

Woo; How.

Howwayl: A gentler form of Haddaway! Haddaway! is critical, even derisive. It means "You go away!" (not me). Howway, though it can certainly be used sharply, means no more than "Let's go!" (i. e., you and I). Also a jovial greeting. When President Carter landed at Newcastle-upon-Tyne in May 1977, his first words to the waiting Geordie crowd were "Howway, tha lads!" (i. e., "How are you, lads?"). Naturally, they were delighted.

Hyem: Home.

Lonnin (really fanning, but in Geordie ultimate g's are elided): An unmade lane leading from a farm to the nearest road. A lonnin may be anything from a few yards to half a mile long, or more.

Lugs: Ears. (As in "Wind? By, sennuf te blaa yer lugs off!")

Marrer: See Hinny, above.

Mazer; One who amazes; a winner, a smasher. A common term of praise and commendation. E. g., "Yon Raquel Welch--by, mind, she's weel-stacked, a reet mazer!" fleet: Night.

Noo: Now.

Reet: Right.

W9 (sometimes wuh): We.

Weel: Well.

Whin: Gorse. A large, gold-flowering bush, growing wild and often profusely on waste land. It is covered with very sharp thorns, and a thicket of gorse is virtually impenetrable to humans and to larger animals. A fugitive fox, dog, cat, etc., may well leave traces "clagged to the whin."

Won Our.

You?: Ewe, a female sheep.

'Twos such a shifter, that if truth were known, Death was half glad when he had got him down).

Preface

The place-names are those in use by local people, and in the few cases where these differ from the names printed on maps, I have preferred local use. Thus the story speaks of "Wreynus," not "Wrynose" Pass, of "Bootterilket" rather than "Brotherilkeld" and of "Low Door" rather than "Lodore." (The poet Southey romanticised the spelling of what is, surely, a local name in plain English.)

Similarly, words like lonnin and getherin are spelt phonetically, since no Lakelander would speak of a "loaning" or of "gathering sheep." The old genitive // (see, e.g., King Lear, I, iv:216-17) is commonly used throughout the Lakeland, not having been superseded by the modern its.

In effect, nearly all the pleasant people in the book are real, while all the unpleasant people are not. For example, Dr. Boycott, Digby Driver, Ann Moss and the Under Secretary are fictitious and bear no resemblance to anyone known to me. But Dennis Williamson, Robert Lindsay, Jack and Mary Longmire, Phyllis and Vera Daw-son and several other inhabitants of Seathwaite and the surrounding neighbourhood are as real as Scafell Pike, though fortunately neither Dennis nor Robert has ever had to contend in reality with the activities of Rowf, nor has Phyllis Dawson ever found him in her yard at dawn.

The story is in one respect idealised. Things change. Jack and Mary Longmire are no longer to be found at the Newfield. Tough old Bill Routledge of Long House is dead (a loss to the valley which recalled vividly Milton's lines on Hobson, the university carrier, Gerald Gray has been gone some time now from Brough-ton, though the "Manor" is still there; and Roy Greenwood has moved on from the parsonage at Ulpha. John Awdry was, indeed, a brave parachutist, but long ago, in the Second World War.

There never was, in fact, a time when all these people were to be found doing their thing simultaneously. I have simply included them in the story as they are best remembered.

There is no such place in the Lake District as Animal Research (Scientific and Experimental). In reality, no single testing or experimental station would cover so wide a range of work as Animal Research. However, every "experiment" described is one which has actually been carried out on animals somewhere. In this connection I acknowledge in particular my debt to two books: Victims of Science by Richard Ryder, and Animal Liberation by Peter Singer.

With the tod's Upper Tyneside dialect, I received invaluable help from Mr. and Mrs. Scott Dobson.

The diagrams were drawn by Mr. A. Wainwright, already well known for his fine series of pictorial guides to the Lakeland Fells. I seriously doubt whether an author can ever have received more generous help and co-operation from an illustrator.

Sir Peter Scott and Ronald Lockley are, of course, very real indeed. I am most grateful for their good sportsmanship in allowing themselves to appear in the story. The views attributed to them have their entire approval.

Finally, my thanks are due to Mrs. Margaret Apps and Mrs. Janice Kneale, whose conscientious and painstaking work in typing the manuscript was of the highest standard.

THE PLAGUE DOGS

FIT 1

Friday the 15th October

Mr. Powell, his note-pad ready in hand, leant across the flanged and overhanging edge of the tank, wiped his glasses on his sleeve and looked down the two or three feet to the contents below.

"I think it's packing in, chief," he said. "Oh, no, wait a jiffy." He paused, drew back the cuff of his white coat to avoid another, though weak, splash and then bent over the water once more. "No, I was right first time--it is going. D'you want it out now?"

"When it definitely sinks and stops moving," answered Dr. Boycott, without looking up from the papers on the table. Although there was in the room no draught or air movement whatever, he had placed the two graphs and the log sheet on top of one another and was using the heavy stop-watch as a paperweight to ensure that they remained where he intended them to remain. "I thought I'd made it clear the other day," he added, in a level, polite tone, "what the precise moment of removal should be."

"But you don't want it to drown, do you?" asked Mr. Powell, a shade of anxiety creeping into his voice. "If it--"

"No!" interjected Dr. Boycott quickly, as though to check him before he could say more. "It's nothing to do with want," he went on after a moment. "It's not intended to drown--not this time any way; and I think probably not the next time either--depending on results, of course."

There were further sounds of splashing from inside the tank, but faint, like metallic echoes, rather as though a ghost were trying, but failing, to come down and trouble the waters (and indeed, as far as the occupant was concerned, any sort of miracle, being unscientific, was entirely out of the question).

Then a choking, bubbling sound was followed by silence, in which the rasping call of a carrion crow came clearly from the fell outside.

Mr. Powell stood up, walked across the concrete floor and took down a shepherd's crook which was hanging on a peg. Sitting down once more on the edge of the tank, he began unthinkingly to tap with the butt of the crook the rhythm of a current popular song.

"Er--please, Stephen," said Dr. Boycott, with a faint smile. "Oh, sorry."

The large mongrel dog in the tank was continuing to struggle with its front paws, but so feebly now that its body, from neck to rump, hung almost vertically in the water. The spaniel-like ears were outspread, floating on either side of the head like wings, but the eyes were submerged and only the black, delicately lyrated nose broke the surface. As Mr. Powell watched, this too went under, rose again for an instant and then sank. The body, foreshortened by refraction as it descended, seemed to move sideways from its former floating position, finally appearing on the bottom of the tank as an almost flattened mass and disturbing round its sides, as it settled, little clouds of dirty silt. Dr. Boycott clicked the stopwatch. Mr. /Powell, looking quickly back to see whether he had noticed the silt (for his chief was particular about the cleanliness of equipment), made a mental note to insist to Tyson, the caretaker and head-keeper, that the tank should be emptied and cleaned tomorrow. Then, allowing for the refraction with the skill of a certain amount of practice, he plunged in the crook, engaged the dog's collar and began to drag it to the surface. After a moment, however, he faltered, dropped the crook and stood up, wincing, while the body subsided once more to the floor of the tank.

"Christ, it's heavy," he said. "Oh, no, chief, I don't mean it's any heavier than usual, of course, only I pulled a muscle in my wrist last night and it's been giving me a spot of gyppo. Never mind, never say die, here goes."

"I'm sorry," said Dr. Boycott. "Let me help you. I wouldn't want you to suffer avoidably."

Together they pulled on the crook, raised the heavy, pelt-sodden body headfirst, broke the surface tension with a concerted heave and laid the inert dog on a foam-rubber mattress beside the tank. Here it resembled an enormous, drowned fly--very black, with a compressed shape something like that of a raindrop; and smaller than life, on account of a kind of collapse of the limbs and other excrescences into the central mass of the trunk. Mr. Powell began resuscitation; and after a little the dog vomited water and commenced to gasp, though its eyes remained closed.

"Right, that'll do," said Dr. Boycott briskly. "Now the usual tests, please, Stephen--pulse, blood sample, body temperature, reflexes--the various things we've been work-iag on--and then plot the graphs. I'll be back in about minutes. I'm just going over to the Christiaan Barnard block to learn what I can about this afternoon's brain surgery work. And please don't smoke while I'm gone," he added, mildly but firmly. "You'll appreciate that that could have an effect on results."

"All right to put its muzzle on, chief?" asked Mr. Powell. "Only this one, seven-three-two, 's been known to be a right sod at times and it might come round enough to start in on me--sudden-like, you know."

"Yes, there's no objection to that," replied Dr. Boycott, picking up the stopwatch.

"And the time, chief?" enquired Mr. Powell in a rather sycophantic tone, as though the time were likely to be something to Dr. Boycott's personal credit. "Two hours, twenty minutes, fifty-three and two fifths seconds," answered Dr. Boycott, "Without looking at the papers, I think that's about six and a half minutes longer than Wednesday's test and about twelve minutes longer than the test before that. It's rather remarkable how regular the increase apears to be. At this rate the graph will work out as a straight incline, although obviously we must reach a diminution somewhere. There must come a point where the additional endurance induced by the dog's expectation of removal is counterbalanced by the limits of its physical capacity."

He paused for a moment and then said, "Now, there's another thing I'd like you to see to, please. I forgot to mention it this morning, but Cambridge are anxious for us to go ahead at once with the social deprivation experiment. We have a monkey set aside for that, haven't we?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty certain we have," replied Mr. Powell.

"I thought you told me we definitely had?" Dr. Boycott's voice was a shade sharper.

"Yes, that's right," said Mr. Powell hastily. "We have."

"Good. Well, it can go into the cylinder this evening. Now you're sure that that cylinder excludes all light?"

"Yep. No light, restricted movement, adequate ventilation, wire mesh floor, faeces and urine fall through. It's all checked."

"Right, well, start it off, keep it under twice daily observation and, of course, mark the particulars up in a log. The total number of days should be kept up to date day by day, on a slate beside the cylinder. That's a matter of courtesy to the Director. He'll probably want to see it."

"Where's it to be kept, chief?" asked Mr. Powell.

"It doesn't matter, as long as it's somewhere where you can readily keep an eye on it," answered Dr. Boycott. "I suggest, near where you normally work, as long as it's not anywhere near any other animals. There should be silence, as far as possible, and no organic smells, of course. That's part of the deprivation, you understand."

"How about the balance-cupboard in Lab .4, chief?" asked Mr. Powell. "Plenty of space in there at the moment and quiet as the grave."

"Yes, that'll do," said Dr. Boycott. Don't forget to tell Tyson about feeding, and keep me informed how it goes on. We'll aim at--well, say--er--forty-five days."

"Is that the lot, chief?"

"Yes," said Dr. Boycott, with his hand on the door. "But since it seems necessary to mention it, you'd better see that this tank's cleaned out. There's silt on the bottom which shouldn't be there."

It was only after a considerable administrative and political battle that the site for Animal Research, Surgical and Experimental (A.R.S.E.), had been approved at Lawson Park, a former fell farm on the east side of Coniston Water. As a Departmental project the scheme had, of course, attracted deemed planning permission, but following Circular 100 consultation both the County Council and the Lakeland National Park Planning Board had objected to it so strongly that the responsible Under Secretary at the Department of the Environment (having, no doubt, a vivid mental picture of himself in the chair at any confrontation discussions that might be arranged to try to resolve the matter in Whitehall) had taken very little time to decide that in all the circumstances a public local enquiry would be the most appropriate course. The enquiry had lasted for two weeks and at various times during the y»oceedings the Inspector (who in his private hours lulged a taste for seventeenth-century English history) (23)

%v:>;^^-^fe- -*•»•-.•. -; • • ••-•.;:-t^^V^-:^^--.^^J^c,-^. • •*«**»iv-• -*«i.,..-.'_ >-^»-i»-_-«^k.. •-~.>. r. ^^^SV^^V^. V-^^^gj.^- -.'C.,;,;,;-L, ^^fe^'v-^Sr^-'^^'^'fe^^ ^c^v ^^ The deputy county clerk had cross-examined the Ministry experts with brilliant penetration on the precise extent of the urgency and need to site yet another Government project in a national park. The Secretary of the Countryside Commission, subpoenaed by the Planning Board, had been virtually compelled to give evidence against the Department into which he was hoping to be promoted to Under Secretary. The Council for the Protection of Rural England had greatly assisted the case in favour of the project by testifying with passionate emotion that nobody ought to be allowed to build anything anywhere any more. A Mr. Finward, a retired merchant naval officer, who occupied a cottage on the fell not far from the site, had threatened the Inspector with bodily injury unless he undertook to report against the proposal. And a Mr. Prance-body, who testified amongst other things that he had discovered the truth of the British Israelite theory while exploring the Derbyshire caves, had read in evidence most of a sixty-three-page submission, before the long-suffering Inspector had ruled it to be irrelevant and inadmissible and Mr. Prancebody, violently objecting, had been somewhat eponymously removed by the police. There was,, in fact, scarcely a dull moment throughout the proceedings. Of particular interest had been the evidence of the R. S. P. C. A., who were emphatic that they favoured the scheme, on the grounds that the experiments and surgery would redound to the benefit of animals in general. After the enquiry the Inspector, pressed by the Deputy Secretary of the Department to complete his publish able report as quickly as possible (regardless of whatever length of time he might need to make a good job of it), had recommended against planning approval for the site at Lawson Park and consequently against the compulsory purchase order on the property. The Secretary of State, the Right Hon. William Harbottle (known to his Departmental civil servants as "Hot Bottle Bill" on account of Ms chronically cold feet), had succeeded in getting the matter up to Cabinet Committee, following which a de-to approve against the Inspector's recommendation been traded with the Home Secretary and the Min-" of Labour, sub rosa, for agreement to a new open prison in Worcestershire, the head of the Chief Alkali Inspector on a charger and the tail of a young lady named Miss Mandy Pryce-Morgan, who was currently dispensing her favours to certain of the Front Bench.

Upon the announcement of the Secretary of State's decision, public reaction had been generally adverse. Under fire, Hot Bottle Bill had stood his ground like a good 'un, manfully ensuring that the Parliamentary attacks were invariably answered by one of his junior colleagues, Mr. Basil Forbes (otherwise known as Errol the Peril, on account of his unpredictable imprudence). Eventually brought to bay by Mr. Bernard Bugwash, Q. C., the Member for Lakeland Central, he had, on the night, brilliantly contrived to be unavoidably absent and Errol the Peril had spoken for six minutes flat. The next morning a much better stick with which to beat the Government had appeared in the form of the report of the Sablon Committee, which recommended that more public money ought to be spent on medical research. Since the Government, keen to reduce public expenditure, were reluctant to accept this recommendation, the Opposition had naturally supported it: and since support for Sablon was virtually incompatible with any further attack on the Lawson Park decision, it was generally conceded that Hot Bottle Bill had contrived to survive yet another cliff-hanging instalment of his career. Lawson Park passed into Government hands; and the celebrated firm of architects, Sir Conham Goode, Son and Howe, were commissioned to design the buildings. It was generally agreed that these blended very well into their surroundings-- the open hillside and oak copses, the darker patches of pine and larch, the dry stone walls, small green fields and knife-bright, cloud-reflecting lake below. Sir Conham had retained the old farmhouse and outbuildings, converting them into a luncheon room, common room and offices for the resident staff. Local stone and slate had been used to face and roof the laboratories, the Christiaan Barnard surgical wing and the stables, while for the livestock block Lord Plynlimmon, the well-known photographer and aviary expert, had been co-opted to design a single, large building, comprising under one roof more than twenty various sheds and rooms equipped with cages. The establishment had been opened on midsummer day, in pouring Lakeland rain, by Baroness Hilary Blunt, the former all-time high in Permanent Secretaries, and the flow of letters to The Times had trickled, faltered and finally ceased.

"And now," said the newly appointed Director to Dr. Boycott, as the first consignments of dogs, guinea-pigs, rats and rabbits came rolling up the smooth, steeply gradiented tarmac in the station's three distinctively painted blue vans, "now let's hope we'll be left in peace to get on with some useful work. There's been a lot too much emotion spent on this place so far, and not enough scientific detachment."