another example of us taking Kassidy out in public vs. our alleged hiding her at Jeff's house

I hope this helps some.

You asked in your letter who Renee Champney of Springfield Mass. is. She's my cousin. She is the daughter of my mom's sister, Andrea, and Andrea's husband Gary. I asked my mom to put together a list of all of the relatives on her side as you have requested. My dad is doing the same. Facebook is likely new to her.

You asked about Keri McCormish. She was the breakfast manager in Rochester for many years. She worked 5-11 am or 5-2 most days. She had already worked in Rochester for a number of years before I arrived and was still there when I left. She saw McDonald's for what it was, "The big people eating machine." Keri would have been an outstanding restaurant manager if she ever chose to do that. She had a family, and was only interested in having set hours. This was fine by me, Rochester breakfast was fairly slow and I knew the restaurant was in great hands until I could get there between Keri and Melssa Allard. In fact, that was the only shift I didn't have to worry about

during my first six months as a restaurant manager. Keri lived in a Maine town that was close by with her husband Scott, and I believe they had two young daughters. The core of every successful McDonald's is these ladies. They always get the day started off on the right foot. They don't panic, and they are capable of making decisions. Keri was a very private person but I got as close to her and Melissa as can be in a professional setting. These ladies as well as Marge, who passed away after my first several years in Rochester, were like the older sisters or even absentee moms that

I could bounce things off. They all knew Tristan from her days working at the restaurant. After Kyle was born and Tristan or I would bring him in, these ladies fawned over him, spoiling him with ice cream cones and treats. I was very disappointed in myself when I was arrested for the domestic altercation with Tristan. It was these ladies that I had become so close to that I was embarrassed to face. I remember having a hard time looking Keri and Melissa in the eye when I described what had happened.

But I was honest with them and didn't shy away from my responsibility. I'm sure they lost same respect for me after that, but I think they appreciated that they heard it from me, and not from someone else. Both Melissa and Keri had seen me dozens of times with Kyle and Brent and knew the kind of dad I was. In addition, Mandy, Melissa's daughter, had seen me with the boys often and no doubt shared her feelings. I don't believe that either Keri or Melissa would think I could have had anything to do with killing Kassidy. However, they are, like me, children lovers, and I have no idea what they think since my conviction. I never spoke to either of them after my arrest. Who knows now? They both knew of my domestic situation with Tristan and both saw me getting fired up during the early years in Rochester. I think they are definitely people that would sooner think of the bad stuff in Chad because it is what they have heard for so long but there was a lot of good. Hopefully, if we can ever speak to them, they will acknowledge this too and be willing to look at the website with an open mind. The Chad they knew was not this monster.

Yeah, you are probably correct. Perhaps Jeff did resent me using him as my personal "go for." I guess I assumed he would only look at it as a way to earn a few extra bucks but he may have had some other feelings about it. He was the owner of a landscaping company, so he may have thought, "Who the hell is Chad to treat me as his personal 'errand boy'?"

Yes, in 1999-2000 Jeff's business was called Marshall Bros. Landscaping. Jeff named the company in honor of his deceased brother, who died long before the company was formed. It's kind of an odd situation. I know I am not the only one that said to Jeff, "So when do I get to meet the other brother of the landscaping company?" Seems as though he wanted to be asked that question. Maybe it's a way for him to point out that he is a "good guy" because he honors his brother in such a way.

You are correct. That is an interesting slogan on Jeff Marshall's website. "Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap". Another interesting thing about this slogan is that it is the title of an ACDC song. It's a song that many power lifters use to psyche themselves up for a big lift. Certain songs can give you an adrenaline rush and the theory is that it can give you that extra UMPH required to make the lift. I wonder how much of a fan Jeff is of ACDC. Personally, I like a lot of ACDC's music. I thought during my school days that ACDC stood for Against Christ Devils Child.

Brian Foster is an ACDC expert. All through school they were his favorite band. Maybe this is something we should ask him about it. Obviously, music is just music but many people feel that it influences people, especially children, to do crazy things.

I wrote about Matt Skidds in last letter and I do believe that the one you found in Northwood is likely him. Matt had kind of broken away from our group in 2000. I don't believe that he ever met Amanda or Kassidy. Also, Matt never lived with me. It was his younger brother, Steve. I remember that Steve's girlfriend and another longtime employee in Rochester lived with us for a bit too. She left Rochester shortly after graduation and lived with her mom in Dunbarton NH. None of these people met Kassidy or Amanda that I can recall. Wait a minute, there is a chance that Matt went with us on the overnight camping trip to Bruce's parents in Pittsburgh NH.

You mentioned that Jeff Jacobs appears to have married a girl named Shelly. The name sounds familiar, but I am not sure if it is the lady that I escorted to Stephanie and Mike's wedding. I am guessing probably not. Becky may be correct. Jessica Edmonds may in fact be Jessica Edmands. They were in the same high school together.

The Robert McDougall that you have found IS the Robert McDougall that I worked for. Bob is now Jeremy's direct supervisor and watches over restaurants in northern Vermont and NY. He is as "company man" as there has ever been.

Something just occurred to me while thinking of this letter from NHSP project. Are you planning to write a "foreword" or something similar to the paragraph that I wrote at the beginning of my interview, annotation project? I just think it might be good for readers to know where you came up with this idea and why. Also they should know that I have been writing these letters to you for several months now and had no idea when answering your questions that they would someday end up in a form such as this. I just think it is important that until recently I was without knowledge that this idea was taking shape. I think readers should know that I was answering your questions

from the heart rather than "pandering" to the audience. Give it some thought.

As always, I hope this helps some.

You asked about my relationship if any with- Jeff Grover. You said Glover/ Grover. I went to high school with a Jeff Grover. He was a year ahead of me I believe. He also worked for a while at the Keene McDonald's with me back in the 1980's. He and I were friendly probably hung out a few times, but weren't really friends. The only other think I recall about Jeff is that he and I were once seeking the attention of the same girl after high school.

Your next set of questions was about the tanning bed in my house. Boy you are hitting on obscure topics tonight. What prompted this question? I got the tanning bed either right after or right before Tristan left our house on the Milton Rd. in 1999. I got it from Larry Lane. Larry and his wife owned hair salons in Dover and Rochester. The bed was a super heavy duty one with a face tanner. I used to help Larry anytime he needed it in his shops after hours. They wanted to change the beds out. Larry and I used to do odds and end things, repairs, etc. (I wasn't kidding when I told you Larry and I were close.) Anyway, their new beds arrived and Larry asked me to help him set them up. When we got there we set the new beds up and removed the old. Larry asked me if I wanted one for my house. I said, "Sure" and asked him how much he wanted for it? He said, "You are always helping me out, don't worry about it. You can have it." I felt weird about taking a gift like that but he assured me that he didn't want anything and was just going to get rid of them anyway. So Larry and I hauled the bed to my house, and then I had my friend Jeff Jacobs come wire it up. I used it a couple of times. It's good to get a base tan before summer so you don't burn but it wasn't my thing. But Amanda, she loved it. I'm guessing, but I would say 3-5 times a week she tanned for 10-15 minutes. I'm not sure which friends of hers also went in it but I'm sure it was most. I didn't care, Amanda loved it. I believe the bed is still at my grandparents' farm or in storage. Know anyone that wants to buy an industrial tanning bed? I don't believe any of my friends used it. Maybe Jessica Edmonds once? I know Travis's sister and another girl that used to work for me and lived with Travis for a while, Renee Gagne, used the bed.

Changing gears. Oh my! The light bulb goes on. The second you told me the Special Olympics started on June 2, 2000, the day came back to me and I honestly have no idea how I forgot this. It was a major source of contention for Amanda and me. I remember the details of this weekend like it just happened. As you are already aware I went on a dinner date and to a concert with Amanda on the night of June 2. I was expecting this to just be a dinner date and nothing more. I was basically doing a favor for Jeff and his girlfriend, Jennifer, who was Amanda's older sister. At that time, I was seeing several girls and one of them, Rose, had just graduated from UNH. Rose had plans for that evening to go to a party with her girlfriends and I was going to pick her up around midnight. After I had dinner and concert with Amanda, Jeff, and Jen. Well as luck would have it, I instantly liked Amanda but still had plans with Rose for later that evening. So I dropped Amanda off in Portsmouth, and went to UNH to pick up Rose. The next day, Saturday, the 3rd, is when we had our Special Olympics duties. We would serve lunch that day to all of the athletes. My job was to pick the U-Haul truck up in the morning and load up all the supplies needed from the Dover McDonald's. We headed to the field house, bagged up all the lunches with another 20 volunteers. Served the lunches to all athletes and then watched some of the competitions. By 3 pm or so we left the field house and headed back to the Dover McDonald's. This is the only part that is fuzzy. I'm pretty sure I picked Kyle up at Tristan's mom's and had him the rest of the weekend. You know what's really funny is that I remember Tristan calling my cell phone very late on that Friday night right between me dropping Amanda off and picking Rose up. Tristan was out somewhere with her girlfriends and the boys were being watched by Tristan's mom. Tristan and I were not talking a lot back then and a call like that from her would normally send me into a tailspin.. Tristan wasn't calling for any reason other than to chit chat but I was very vague about what I was doing. I went through six months of hell without her, and on this night when I just dropped one beautiful woman off and was on my way to pick up another, I finally realized, I didn't need to chase Tristan. I was going to be ok.

The reason that this event caused such a problem for Amanda and I was that I admitted to her at one point that after our date that first evening, I had plans with someone else. Amanda viewed this as I was cheating on her. I didn't think of it as cheating. Amanda and I were supposed to go on one couples' night out, date. I wasn't planning on falling in love with her. I forget now exactly how or when the subject came up that I had plans in the evening after our date. I viewed what I was doing as being honest. Within a few days of going on that date with Amanda, I stopped seeing all of the other people I had been casually dating. I fell for Amanda hard. For some reason she wasn't interested in focusing on that and the fact that I was trying to start our relationship out on an honest note. She just kept focusing on what was in her mind, "Cheating". There was no doubt that Amanda was on my mind all of Saturday and Sunday, but had she not called me that Sunday night, we likely would have never been together. When she called and she and Cathy came to spend the night, I was as good as done, "Stick a fork in me, because I'm falling for this girl hard." After that Sunday evening, Amanda was a constant and we were pretty much inseparable.

You asked about the McDonald's of Lee, Epping, and Exeter. Lee and Epping were owned by someone else. Exeter was our store but it was supervised by Larry Lane. We always helped out in our restaurants if there was some type of disaster. I know that in Rochester there was a gun manufacturer that blew up. It was Thompson Arms or something like that, We provided sandwiches, coffee, pastries, juice, etc. to all the fire fighters. I think this was in the late 90's. I can't think of any major things that happened in 2000. but if it was in our area, we were contributing.

The restaurants that I supervised were Rochester, Rochester Wal Mart, Greenland, Portsmouth Rte. 1, Hampton Rte. Hampton Beach, Methuen I, and Methuen II. I also supervised Kittery for a time after we purchased it, but I gave that up when I got the Methuens.

Regarding the newspaper's police log of Jeff Marshall being arrested in Portsmouth on May 8, 2000, I am not positive, but I believe this may have been the incident around the time that Jennifer broke up with Jeff. He told me that he chased some guy down that he saw Jen with and punched him, but I didn't realize it was so close to the time that I went on the date with Amanda. If this is that incident, this was when Jeff went to live with Jackie for a while before returning to Jeff.

Just a bunch of misc. things I wanted to hit on today. Hope all is well for you.

I recently sent you an article about Rodney Peete and his son, who is autistic. I agree completely that even if Kassidy was, it had NOTHING to do with her death. However, there were a number of people that described her to the police and others as being slow, spacey, etc. I thought this article may offer an explanation for some of that possibly. Our usual goal is to understand as much as we can about Kassidy and everyone else around that time period. Food for thought.

I'm including a couple of articles that when I read them I thought they offered some insight to me. One of them was about depression. I thought I had life by the "balls" so to speak when I was out there. Great job, great house, great wife, great kids, what would I possibly have to be depressed about? I never dealt with depression until I came to prison. I highlighted some sections that I felt pertained to me. I'm always on the lookout for things that can give you more insight into me.

The second article talks about misbehaving. Nothing serious, just letting your hair down and enjoying life. Reaping the rewards of all the hard work. I've been writing a lot recently about the transition of me from my time with Tristan and moving onto Amanda. I went from save, save, save, future, future, to "Hey, let's have fun and buy a bunch of toys." I just thought the article was good. I highlighted some things that I felt pertained to me. If nothing else, an article like this is good for everyone that has problems balancing things. to read and pick up tips from.

I read another great quote today that I thought I'd share with you. "Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt." Bergen Baldwin Evans- American Author 1904-1978.

The last thing I want to share with you is that I got a letter from my new friend Becky. In it she said some things that I haven't really been able to put my finger on. She was talking about some of the negative untrue things that people had said recently. She said, "Just remember, people talk smack to either make themselves look or feel better about themselves. You are an easy target because you cannot defend yourself. No doubt, this will try your patience." In closing her letter she said, "You are a good man. Keep in mind part of you is what made me who I am today. Yes,

that's right, you had more of an influence on me than you know."

I have a hard time with compliments. This one blew me away because it hit at the core of my being. When it comes down to it, all I have ever wanted in life was to affect people in a positive way. I'm not sure of the statistics today but nearly 20 years ago when I started out as a restaurant manager, 1 in 5 American's first job was at a McDonald's Restaurant. That is a lot of high school students. Because of this I approached my job with the same intensity as parenting. I had been entrusted with this wonderful gift and it was my goal to impact each and everyone in a positive manner. Teaching about having pride, a good work ethic, how to solve problems, set priorities,

etc. It didn't matter if I was helping some student with his homework or providing a listening ear for problems at home or a relationship, I cared about all. The door was open whether you worked for me or not. This is the person I tried to be. I guess this is why some of the things that are being said bother me so much. I know it's impossible to "reach" everyone but damn, didn't I reach someone? I guess I now know, I reached at least one.

Talk to you soon,
August 19, 2010 (194)

Thanks for the advice on Kyle and dealing with the things he may read or hear that are true and not true. Your advice is right on par with what I was thinking. It's just unfortunate that he has to be exposed to those things a month into being 13 years old. It just goes to show, how many victims this tragedy has created. He's a very strong individual and goes with the flow. As his father, I just want to protect him from everything.

You asked about the 1999 Asst. Managers Christmas Party held at the Bull Run in Shirley Mass. This was an annual event. The reason I can remember that Tanya Edwards was there as Travis' date is because Tristan had just left a week or two before that and she was supposed to be there with me. The last place I wanted to be was at that Christmas Party. I felt my guts had been ripped out of me, I was depressed and just wanted to be alone. I just put my "game face" on and went. I recall sitting at the same table that Travis was at with Tanya. I believe that Larry Lane and I chartered a bus for

all the assistants and their dates in the seacoast area. The bus made a pick up at the Newington McDonald's. The Bull Run was quite a hike from the seacoast and there was going to be a lot of drinking. We didn't want anyone drinking and driving. Most of my assistant managers from my restaurants were in attendance. I am trying to think of who they may have been in 1999. Doris Franchescini, Darryl Nali, Possibly Elaine Shunk, Torn Urrutia, Keri Fortin, are a few names that I can think of. Gee, I wish I had my my mgt. flow charts, they would all be listed. I can't even think of the names of any of my Methuen assistants. I know I had two in Rochester that I can't recall their names. Maybe if we ever get hold of Tom Urruitia, he may be able to help.

That's pretty cool that you were learning how to fly a plane at the Shirley airport. You sure have had some neat experiences in your life.

You asked about what I wrote in letter #68 about Kyle being enrolled at Cross Road in August or September of that year. I am sure I was referring to Kyle being enrolled in 2000. When he was 3 years old not in 1999, when he was two. Prior to Kyle going to Cross Road, the only place he went for daycare was to Chad and Linda Dalessandri's. Chad and Linda started caring for Kyle when he was an infant. Maybe the confusion is that Brent started at Crossroad's Kindergarten in 1999. We loved what Brent was learning there and the structure so the next year, when Kyle was 3 we also enrolled him.

I'll try to work on some of those other names of my assistant managers. It's bothering me. For some reason, I keep thinking that one of the assistants in Rochester was Frank Gentry or something like that. Now that I know you want it, I'm confident that some of them will come to me. I am pretty sure that Suzanne Lavalley was one of my assistant managers at that time but I don't believe she went to the Christmas Party. Suzanne was a shift manager when I took over Rochester. I worked closely with her for 8 years. She had three children of her own that were entering their teen years. She absolutely loved Kyle and took him for overnights a few times. Probably in 98 or '99 she and

her husband bought a house that was 2-3 miles up the road from our house. She always drove by the house in her white Lumina Van when I was out playing ball with the boys. I didn't have much contact with her after this happened but at least then I don't think she believed a word of it. Her husband was a nice, very quiet man. After I left McDonald's, Suzanne was going to have her husband, Bill, try to get me a job as a mason's assistant. Bill was a mason by trade.

You asked about Stephanie Lane. I knew her briefly. She worked for a short while as a shift manager for Melissa Brundage, when Melissa was running Greenland I believe. If I remember correctly, she moved to the area from some other part of the country. She had a little bit of McDonald's experience as I recall. Funny, I didn't realize she was only 18 at the time. Perhaps she wasn't and was just counting her experience prior to joining Napoli group. I am quite certain that she is now married to Larry Lane.

We aren't supposed to date people that work for us, but it seems that many people meet their spouses this way. I guess it happens in a lot of places, You work with someone and you are around them so much, that feelings develop. That is how I met some of my previous girlfriends and certainly Tristan, who would become my future wife. When Tristan and I started really having feelings for each other, I thought it best we not work together. Thus she went to school for a different profession.

You asked about Barbara MacKenzie. Yes, I believe that she, as well as a few of the other main office ladies, and Jack Loftus contributed money to start an education fund for Kyle after I came to prison. Very kind of them. One of the nicest things I have ever seen done.

You asked if I could recall any words that Kassidy said. I can recall many. Her vocabulary was increasing every day. Prior to her death, Kassidy was doing a lot more stringing words together. For example, I wrote about in a recent letter she would sometimes say to Amanda, "Where's Chad?" She loved the game where we would point to things on her own or our face and she would name them. As well as doing the same for things around the room. Some of the words she said very clearly others she was still working on mastering. Following are some of the words I recall- ball, wall, doggie, Kato, jump, cookie, juice, Mandy, nose, ear, hair, lips, teeth, eyes, head, belly, baby, pop, (for freeze pop or popsicle), door, table, run, bird, soda, please, kiss, hug, Tinky Winky, doll, yes, no, etc. There are many words that I can't think of right now. I am sure if you ask Amanda this question she could come up with a whole bunch more. As you can probably imagine, this is a tough task. As I'm thinking back to the words Kassidy knew, I can't help but here her say them. It kills me that I won't ever hear her say them again. Kassidy had the cutest little voice. This SUCKS!

I'll go through the secretly taped recording by Jeff and try to get it back to you soon.

You asked about a statement I made in letter #63 "I can only recall one time where I suggested Amanda not take her to a daycare provider...." You know, I am not even sure of this statement. As you noted March 20 was a very busy letter day for me. The only concrete instance that I can recall advising Amanda not to take Kassidy somewhere was when Amanda took Kassidy with Emily Conley's unborn child to the doctor's I believe. This was one of those times when Kassidy came home from Jeff's with a bruise on her head from Jeff's dog knocking Kassidy over or her falling off the bed when Jeff said, "Mama's here." The thing is, Amanda had already taken Kassidy out I believe. It was more for her awareness, I think. Amanda had already gone out in public with Kassidy to the doctor's. I was just giving her a heads-up to think before future trips out. I didn't want anyone looking at Amanda as abusing Kassidy. As far as we knew, those bruises from Jeff's care, and out own, were accidental. This instance was from something that happened with Jeff, not me. For some reason I do recall that Amanda did have an interview with one day care place. I am not sure if she went or not. Again, most of the time, I was working. Sometimes she would fill me in on her day when I got home, other times she didn't. As I recall, she didn't want to put Kassidy into that daycare as it sat right on a very busy road. Amanda didn't like the idea that Kassidy would be playing close to the road where cars drive by at 50 mph. This is one area that both Amanda were on top of. Our house sat right on a main road, where the cars would go whipping by. We NEVER let the kids outside to play without one of us being right with them. I hate pine trees and had a plan to remove all of them in the front lawn, but quickly changed my mind when I started having children live there. At least two times people had driven on my lawn and smashed into one of the trees. Not to mention the lady that ran Kato over and the accident in front of our house. Again. These are better questions for Amanda so can you put them in your file for her so you can ask if/when you speak with her. "Did Chad advise you not to go to a day care or a doctor's with Kassidy because of something he had done to Kassidy or Jeff?" "Did you have an interview set up at a day care?" "If so, did you go?"

You asked about my statement in letter #66 about me helping out with causes that were important to me. I donated to many causes that I thought were worthwhile. I donated personally as well as professionally in my capacity as area supervisor. I know you are interested in some examples. Most of my donations went to things that benefitted children or families. When we opened the Rochester playplace we invited the children of the local orphanage down the night before the grand opening to be the first to play in it and have dinner. Every year, we collected coats for tots in the restaurants. I would bring the boys down to donate their previous years coat as well as purchase a new one for the cause. Stephanie Chick was big into the Jaycees and every year they had a Christmas Party for underprivileged children. Jason and I got involved in 1997 or 1998. We both went into work on a Sunday to make 90 or so happy meals for the kids. At these parties the children would get a winter coat or some other item if they did not need a coat. They also each received a gift. I would purchase games and things for this event. During the holidays there was always a local can drive starting around Thanksgiving. At one particular location in Portsmouth there was tractor trailer truck used to collect groceries. I would go into the local supermarket and purchase a cart full of groceries and wheel it over to the tractor trailer every year.

We were always donating Orange Hi-C to local non-profits, student activities and churches. Along with other items, cookies, Be Our Guest Cards, etc. I didn't do anything extraordinary. Just donated to the things that I felt were worthwhile. I would have liked to give more of my time to things and is something I planned on doing with the Brent and Kyle when they were old enough. I envisioned us working side by side in the local soup kitchen for a few hours a week.

I did not do my own taxes. There was an accountant a few buildings down from Janet's (Lane) business, Hair Everywhere. I can't remember his name at this time. It was right on the main drag in Rochester. I'm sure he put something down for charity. I had deductions. If I can get hold of a Rochester phone book at some point, I can tell you the accountant's name, As with everything else that is missing, all of my returns were in my home office file cabinet, the one that my former "friend".and tenant, stole.
August 24, 2010 (197)

Good afternoon, as is always the case, I am falling behind you. I really wonder if you require sleep. If I could just expand my typing hours, I know I could give you a run for your money. Unfortunately, these typewriters are very loud and I have 23 other men that live on my pod,.which isn't much bigger than an average living room. So as you say, I'll just continue to do my best, Actually, I'm about 10 envelopes behind right now and some of that is due to having to take a few days off to be in a play last week. One of my roles was as Ralph Cramden of the Honeymooners. I know you have mentioned that show before in your writing. Being on stage is way outside my comfort zone but, as you and I have discussed, sometimes the best parenting is done when we demonstrate. I really want Kyle to get exposure into the arts. It's an area where his mom and I didn't do much while growing up. So, I figure if I took a chance and did something I am not comfortable with, it may inspire him. We'll see.

The other thing I am finding is as we get deeper into this, your questions are becoming much harder to answer. Understandably, they are becoming more "detail" oriented and my memory isn't coming back like I had hoped and as it initially did.

You sent me the obituary of Edwin "Gene" Howe a former employee in Greenland. I don't remember him specifically. For many years, we worked with several different agencies for the special needs. We hired these folks to come in and work 10-15 hours per week. They would fill prep work type positions, making salads, rolling fajita's, cleaning the dining room, etc.

You asked about the grand opening of Hampton Rte. 1 when we purchased and rebuilt it. I will try to get you an exact date of the grand opening. In the meantime, there was a ribbon cutting ceremony. We always had one when we opened a restaurant. We also raffled off same prizes. It

used to be a car, but I believe we stopped that just prior to opening Hampton. Usually Peter Napoli, the operations manager, in this case, Bob McDougall, and the area supervisor, me, would be in the photograph of the ribbon cutting along with the restaurant manager and some local group of children, the mayor, etc. This photograph would have appeared in the local newspaper. We really "overkilled" these grand openings. We would typically run specials every hour. We would have all the area supervisors and most of the area restaurant managers there on the first day. For the first week, we had at least double the normal employee that it would take to staff the restaurant, pulling in the best employees from area restaurants to help train.

I'm glad that you were able to get in touch with Crystal. I'm glad that she recalled bathing Kassidy. With regards to her and Amanda walking around Hampton Beach with me during the busy Seafood festival, I am pretty sure what I told you accurate. (I'm assuming you pulled it from letter #60.) I'm pretty sure it was Crystal and that her son, Devin, was with Crystal's mom. I do recall I was down there with Amanda Kassidy and Bruce/ Michelle Truell once. Maybe it was them at the Seafood festival. It was definitely towards the end of the Beach Season for both of them.

With regards to Crystal at Hampton Beach with us, this is what I recall. Hopefully, this will jog her memory and then we can work on a date. Amanda, myself and Kassidy drove to the beach. I had to work for a while, so Crystal was coming down a little while later. We all hung out for a bit on the McDonald's patio, then we walked around for a bit on the boardwalk. I'm almost certain that the girls all left together and I worked for a while later. Crystal drove them in her car wherever they were headed. I met Amanda later at our house.

With regards to the Seafood Festival at Hampton Beach. There is one main road that runs along the ocean. It has large sidewalks and two lanes for one direction traffic. They completely shut the main "strip" down for the Seafood Festival and set up all vendors in the middle of the road. Then 100 to 150 thousand people pour into the area to try all the area restaurants' seafood creations. We all started walking from the McDonald's patio and walked the strip headed toward Rye beach whichever direction that is. Perhaps I am crazy and it wasn't Crystal. I can think of several times that I an confident that I saw Crystal, at least two times at our house in the summer months when she came to meet Amanda as they were headed off somewhere with the kids. I recall on one of these times she had her son, Devin, with her and they came in for a while. I recall playing with Devin and Kassidy on the living room floor for a bit and running around with him. He was a little "sparkplug" that Crystal didn't think I could tire out. As Crystal recalls, she and Devin stayed over one night in August and Devin slept with Kassidy. I think this may have been the time I met Crystal and Devin. At least back then, I think Crystal liked me. Who knows what she thinks now after the conviction. I always liked her. She was nice to Amanda and good to Kassidy. I didn't find Crystal to be pretentious like some of Amanda's other friends.

I am surprised to hear that Crystal told you about a second burn to Kassidy with a curling iron at her house. I don't recall ever hearing about a burn to Kassidy's hand or arm. I know I don't recall seeing a burn on her arm. I just remember the burn on the top of her foot.

On the subject of lying, I remember one of the first times I found out that Amanda lied to me and I hated being lied to. I had a bad feeling about being lied to, and recall specifically arguing with Amanda in our bedroom. I said, "This is the second thing you've lied to me about something in like a week. I'm so into you but really hate liars" at first Amanda was very tearful and apologetic. Then as I tend to do, I kept harping on it, I was hurt. Why is this girl that I love lying to me. Eventually Amanda got right into my grill am said, "Deal with it Chad, that is what people do, they tell each other stupid little lies." I'm like, "Well, that is not what I do, especially not with the person I claim to love."

You asked about Jeremy gambling with Bruce and I. I thought I told you in an earlier letter that Jeremy did gamble, in fact he was the guy that introduced us to the bookie. The gentleman that we picked up our money from worked at Banana's and the pick ups were every Thursday. Jeremy had been betting for years. This was all new to Bruce and I. Jeremy had his own account with the bookie. Bruce and I kind of worked together which isn't really encouraged. Bruce and I both had an account with the bookie and took turns calling the bets in.

Thanks for the responses from Tim Goodnow. I did get his letter that you spoke about and already responded. I do my best to respond to all letters from people within two days.

Before I forget, at this point, the best date that I can come up with for Crystal still for Kassidy is the weekend of Oct. 7-8, 2000. This is if in fact it was a weekend. If you look at the chronology, it is the only thing that makes sense. Weekdays could have been later.

I almost forgot, you asked me in a recent letter to think of movies, books, and perhaps songs that could depict my relationship with Amanda. I'm including the lyrics to one such song. One of my favorite artists is Rhianna. She has a duet with a rap artist, Eminem. I am guessing you have heard of both though probably not their music. The song is titled I LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE. To get a true sense of this song, I STRONGLY urge you to take 3 minutes, go to my facebook page and click on the link to the video that Courtney has set up. It is a bit more violent than Amanda and I but the passion, the passion is unbelievable! The video features the two singers as well as Megan Fox and Dominic Monahan? Movie and TV stars. Eminem can be a little hard to follow if you haven't listened to him before. (Having shared your taste in music with me, I am guessing you haven't.) But you have the lyrics to follow along with and I think this video can show you in three minutes far better than I can ever describe. As I watched it the first time, I thought about the two great loves of my life, the two ladies I felt such passion for, Amanda and Tristan. It's eye opening. As I grow older, I am able to look back at patterns in my life. It never ceases to amaze me how complicated we human beings are. The video is love and dysfunction, melded perfectly.

While you are at my Facebook page, I think you should "friend" me if you haven't already. I don't think it is a great place for sensitive communication but there may be a time in the future where you want to get some general message out quickly or something specific like having Courtney contact one of my friends as you recently suggested with Amanda Mills. Much more effective to do it directly than write it to me then 5 days later I write it to Courtney. I just read that Facebook has 500 million members (worldwide) I am beginning to see the potential here. I came up with an idea yesterday and mailed Courtney 7 days worth of simple postings from me. Most of these people I am finding are on Facebook several times a day and it may be good that I "reach out" to them often. It's also not a bad idea if you see the messages I am sending, which you will if we are friends.

You started off the letter talking about your research into one of my previous letters and found that I had told you about going with Amanda, Jen, and Jeff to Newick's and later all four of walking in Prescott Park and the docks. It's funny because I was thinking about the extra details I provided during my recent second mention of it just before receiving this letter from you where you mention that very thing. (How often a second telling results in more details.) I believe this happens because I've read that our brains store everything that we ever learn somewhere. The trick is finding it. Our long term memory continues to work on a problem long after our short term memory has forgotten we've asked for it. I guess prison isn't all bad, I learned this in that New England College Class on Human Growth and Developnent.

Anyway, I have a third memory from that evening. I remember having a great time that evening. It was the one time I can recall being around Jeff where he didn't seem awkward. By this I mean, say crazy things to try and fit in. When he's being himself and not trying to impress, I actually found him to be likable. I actually had hopes after that evening that we would become close as couples and be able to do things together. I mainly hoped this for Amanda. I knew her relationship was just starting to be close with Jennifer after what she described as not being close growing up. I would have put my "game" face on and done it for Amanda either way but Jeff and I had very little in common. So, prior to this evening I held out very little hope of these evenings being fun for me. I believe I already told you that after the walk through the park and out onto the pier, Jeff had enough and wanted to go home and watch TV. The evening was just starting for Amanda and I. You could tell that Jen was having a lot of fun out and wanted to continue on. She tried talking Jeff into it, but she abruptly stopped. They were walking about 10 feet behind us at this point so I can only guess Jeff said something that we didn't hear because her entire demeanor changed. I felt badly for her because it was obvious that they didn't go out much. Amanda and I invited her to continue on with us and we'd bring her home later, but without a second of thought, she said, "No, I better go home." I guess I never really thought much about this until now.

One thing I am pretty sure about is that this was very early on in our relationship. I am fairly certain of this because Amanda did something that night that kind of surprised me, (not easy to do), and showed me how much of a free spirit she was. I believe Amanda was going to and from her mom's in Maine frequently and Kassidy was likely there that evening. It likely was at the very end of when Amanda was working at Martindale's Country Club in late June.

You asked about the restaurants I oversaw when I was promoted to General Manager in 1996. So you understand. General Manager was not a position often used in our company. Typically you get to the position of restaurant manager and very few make it to the next step, area supervisor. During my tenure with the company, prior to me, I can only think of 1 or 2 other people that were general managers. In that instance the general manager is still the restaurant manager of his restaurant and he oversees another restaurant that is really struggling or may be seasonal. In these instances, the owners, Pete Napoli, and Rick McCoy, used the position as a proving ground to see if the general manager has got what it takes to be a supervisor. I think it's the perfect tool and if I was running the company, I would have used it much more often. In fact, I would do it with anyone that I was considering promoting to supervisor. You get to see them in action prior to giving them the "keys" to 5-8 restaurants. Promoting the wrong person to area supervisor could quickly cost the company hundreds of thousands of dollars. Not to sound cocky, but nothing about my experience at McDonald's was typical. There was no doubt that I was going to be a supervisor, but they didn't have an area to put me in yet. Larry's area was growing so my hope was they could split it up prior to an area coming open because a supervisor ran it into the toilet.

It turned out that we bought a group of stores and they wanted me to move to the Boston area and run them, but I turned it down. I had a family started and Larry and Bob were company guys, willing to give me up, but not wanting to. They helped convince Pete there was a need for me where I was. Anyway, I got promoted to General Manager but instead of overseeing two restaurants, I was running Rochester, and overseeing the Rochester Walmart which I believe we opened with Elaine Shunk as the manager. In addition, overseeing Hampton Beach and Kittery Maine which were our two busiest seasonal restaurants in the company. Both went to sales of over $280,000 in July and

August with Hampton starting at zero'and Kittery having sales of as little as $95,000 a month in February. One seasonal restaurant is tough enough to run, having two was unheard of. I was still under the "umbrella" of Larry Lane as the supervisor, but he had very little to do with these four restaurants. I had good restaurant managers so it was pretty easy. I didn't need to spend much time in Kittery. It was run by a guy named David Heon, and Tom Mikoski was his assistant. Hampton Beach started off really rough because I had some former restaurant manager, hired to run it by Peter, and she subsequently left. Then we promoted Jason Evans to run it the restaurant with Jeremy Hinton and Jason Shunk as assistants. There was a large hole they needed to dig out of but they did awesome. I referred to them as the "Dream Team". I went through another season as the GM and by then the area grew enough that we could split it up.

- I just realized something. Something didn't seem right with what I was just telling you and I know what it was. I wasn't as good as I thought I was, I only started with three restaurants as GM. Kittery wasn't until the next season because we didn't purchase it until the fall of 1996. I'm pretty concrete on this because I was at the takeover meeting with the owner we were purchasing the restaurant from. Andre Laprade, Larry Lane, and Bob McDougall and I all met at a local restaurant. Kittery was in Bob's side of the company. Larry was going to be area supervisor and I was to be the GM. I don't believe we had chosen the restaurant manager yet. We had a meeting to discuss takeover details and then had dinner.

I don't know if I ever shared this detail with you or not but it was during this meeting that I found out that Tristan was pregnant with Kyle. I will never forget those initial moments. We were in the middle of the meeting with Andre and I had just asked him what was the best area High School to recruit kids from when my pager went off. I looked quickly and I saw that it was Tristan, "No biggie, I'll call her when the meeting is over." Then my pager went off again with our home number and 911 so I figured something important was going on. She rarely paged me like this. I got up to call, fearful that something happened to her or Brent. When she answered, she immediately asked where I was. I told her still at the meeting. Tristan sounded very excited. I said, "What's up?" She said, "I really need to talk to you when you get home." I replied, "What are you so happy about, you can't page me 911 and leave me hanging." Tristan hemmed and hawed and then said, "I'm pregnant." It was the last thing I expected to hear, but I was loving it. "Really, Oh my God. Are you sure? Oh my God. I love you so much. I'll be home as soon as I can." I walked back to the table smiling ear to ear, walking on cloud nine. I leaned over and whispered the news to Larry when he asked me why I couldn't stop smiling. For some reason I had a hard time concentrating after hearing this. :)

I believe that I was promoted to area supervisor in the middle of the summer 1997 or fall. I'm not exactly sure.

The first restaurant manager of the newly opened Hampton Rte. 1 was Tom Toomire. No idea how to spell his last name. He worked for the previous owner that we purchased the restaurant from. Many years prior, he had started with our company. That often happens with McDonald's people. We stay around the business. There are many with "Ketchup" in their veins.
August 25, 2010 (199)

You asked if I recall Jen working at Kay Jewelers. She never worked there while I knew her. As I recall, she landscaped with Jeff and then got her job at Perfumania. Jen was a hard worker, and both she and Amanda have strong work ethics. Even after she got her job at Perfumania, Jen would work with Jeff on her days off or after a shift. I still often saw her in the restaurants mowing a lawn, raking, etc. You could tell Jackie really instilled a great ethic in the girls. I was always impressed with this.

You asked about a reference to Margaret Bravar, the landlord when I first rented an apartment on Second Street in Rochester. Interestingly, as I think of it, Margaret is the only landlord I've ever had. Real nice lady. Anyway, you asked when I moved there. I'm not sure of the exact date but it was sometime in October 1992 prior to my birthday. I know this for a fact because I was repainting the kitchen after work each evening and Bruce Aube and I started becoming friends so he came and kept me company. Neither Bruce or I were old enough yet to purchase beer, (both 20) so we asked my assistant manager at the time, Karen Spinney, to purchase it for us. I was promoted to run Rochester toward the end of September of that year and spent the first few weeks at the Anchorage Inn. It was a nice duplex I live in but as Oct. 1993 rolled around, it became less apparent that I was going back to Keene in a year as I had originally hoped.

Well, you've probably come to know me as pretty anal about finances. I didn't like renting because it was $500.00 every month going toward paying someone else's mortgage, no tax advantages, etc. I informed Margaret that I didn't want to sign another lease because I will likely be going back to Keene in several months or if I'm going to stay in the area it makes sense to buy. She was funny. She said, "I was afraid of that, the best tenants don't stay tenants for too long because they usually buy. But I completely understand." Margaret agreed to let me leave with no penalty and I stayed until I purchased the house on the Milton Road in Rochester. I want to say that it was spring of 1994. The only complaint that she had was that I scarred up her driveway. As a man of my word I assured her I would repair it and did. The scarring occurred after I returned from being away for about a week, and the ice on the driveway was like 17" thick. I got this great idea to go to the local equipment rental place and rent a jackhammer. I had a blast carving ice sheets but Margaret wasn't too enthused about the divots I created in the tarmac. Live and learn I guess.

You asked about Kevin and Angela Bolduc from my oId Rochester address book as well as Ronnie and Marcy. Both Maine addresses and phone numbers. Angela and Marcy are sisters, are my cousins, the daughters of my aunt Cheryl Lavalley and the late Paul Holland. I will try to work with my mom to get current numbers and emails.

I will ask Jason to contact Chris Davis as well as Rob and Mike Dettleback our old friends from Keene.

You asked about EBPA/ Healthsource. They were the Health Insurance Carrier that Colley/McCoy used up until the mid 1990's I believe. After that we switched to another. As the carrier, I don't know if they would have records or not. Why don't you write back to me now that you have more information and let me know what you think. I don't want to spend 30 minutes constructing a letter if it is useless.

You provided me with some information about Ernest Baud. Considering the age,35-39. I am assuming that he is the same Ernie that worked for me. I didn't work all that closely with him but I remember him as being a good kid. I bet Becky knows him. Perhaps we should pass his contact info. onto Becky? All of them worked for me as high school kids. Ernie, Tanya, Becky, Travis, etc. God, Back in the early 90's, I had some great kids that walked through those doors. 15-18 years later, I struggle to recall names. I think that is all for now my friend. I will see you in an hour or so. Just so you know by the time you are reading this, I ALWAYS enjoy our visits but cringe at the thought of how much work I will have to do after the meeting. :) I know it's all necessary. It just at times seems endless sometimes. I'm sure you feel it too. Ok, I'm back to reality. I just wish I could get a good night's sleep once in a while. It seems my brain is always working this thing. It never sleeps.

Now if it could just get me better results in the memory department... I never imagined it could be this much work but as I look at the HUGE stacks of paper all around me, I realize that it indeed has been for both of us over 400 letters between us with a lot of information.
August 25, 2010 (200) Post August Visit

Hello. There is a ton of information that we went over at our meeting today so I may in fact write it over several letters. The first topic that I wanted to hit upon was the VSA analysis and John's comments to you~ that he clearly sees that I was high stress. I had to chuckle when I heard this. As in, "Tell me something that I don't know." It's actually pretty interesting. I just recently learned about stress levels and how most people live in different "ranges". I am sure being the intelligent, seasoned men that you and John are, you already know this. I will elaborate in a minute as to how exactly it pertains to me. First, I wanted to remind you of a few facts about the particular day that I had my appointment with John. I didn't share them with John that day but perhaps I should have, as I am sure they had an effect on my stress readings. Perhaps you can share them with John now.

1. There was a serious beating just prior to the start of our session. It was so serious in fact that the inmate that was beaten is brain dead and on life support. We are told the administration is waiting for the family's permission to pull him off and let him perish. Not everyone is our personal friend in here but this is very small community with only 1500 people in it. The entire prison was on lock down during our time together. To be honest, I was surprised but very thankful with the distance John and his wife traveled that they let our appointment stand. As you might imagine, when activities such as this happen here, it is very stressful for the inmates and the staff. The guards start overreacting to everything and the inmates are all on edge. This is a wake up call for everyone that this is in fact prison.

2. Approximately 45 minutes before John's arrival I received the letter from you where you enclosed the email exchanges that you had with Bruce Aube, my best friend of 10 years on the outside, that basically told you he wanted nothing to do with helping or my case. This was a huge blow to me and likely a significant stressor. Not to sound like a wimp, but I wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry. He knows me. He saw me with Kass as often as anybody, knew I didn't kill her and was one of my biggest supporters right from the start. I'm still reeling today from actually seeing it in print. Prior to this letter, when my contact with Bruce wasn't happening, at least

there was hope. Now it appears there is none. Well, maybe..... This is exactly why I get so uptight when talking about some of the people who were very significant people in my life around 2000. It scares the hell out of me. Not knowing seems far better than knowing and finding that some of these people do not seem ready to help at this time.

3. My nickname in Elementary school was "the professor." Not only did I look the part with my horn rimmed glasses. When other kids were worried about what color sneakers they wanted I was worried about whether or not I told my dad I loved him that morning because "what if he died today at work? Would he know how much I loved him? Could I go on living if he died?" etc. I was always the kid that was planning for things in the future. When I was 15, I was planning my first car and bought it. When I was 19, I was planning for my retirement and started a savings account. At 21, I started an IRA. When I was an area supervisor I was always planning months down the road, what

is going to happen with each of my restaurants? How many people do I need on staff? etc. My point is, prior to this test, I was already planning for good results. I was planning on going to the press, how to contact each person that was in my inner circle and on the fence, "Wow this is going to be so awesome. Everyone is going to come at this with renewed enthusiasm." I was planning how to contact people on the fringe. How to use this infonnation with doubters, etc. I worked it over in my mind daily about all the good it will do. I knew I didn't kill Kassidy, so it should be a piece of cake. By the time it was the day of my appointment, I had worked myself into a frenzy. I sat in that room worried about the back ground noise from the air vent. Knowing that this was my only chance and the warden wouldn't let him back in to do it again. I put myself under such pressure. It had to be perfect!

4. The pressure I felt about the stupid noise from the air vent was nothing compared to the feelings I had running through my head as John asked me questions. I tried to do everything I could to relax and block out everything the cops and prosecutors claimed happened to Kassidy so the truth could just be detected. However, the minute John started asking about things like, "Serious bodily injury" or "Did you ever do anything that caused Kassidy's death" or "Punch, Kick" etc. I would just picture the most horrible things. The autopsy photos I saw, the bruises on Kassidy's butt. The huge eggs on her head when she fell out of Jeff's truck window and how I DIDN'T BRING HER TO THE HOSPITAL. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? No matter how hard I tried the thoughts of her dying popped in my head. I'd push them down so John could get to the truth and he'd ask me something else and I'd visualize another horrible thing that Kassidy must have endured. A long time ago, Betsy recommended to me that I should try yoga or some other form of meditation because she was concerned about the high stress state I stay in. She would be the first to verify I have never stopped beating myself up for failing to see the signs and not protecting Kassidy. I feel like I have failed Kassidy, Amanda, Kyle, my parents, my brothers, my sisters, basically everyone I know. I wish I had taken her advice.

We all inherit certain traits from our parents. I love both my mom and dad very much but if there is one thing that I wish I had a better balance of the two, is the stress levels they live in. I constantly live in a stress level of 8 or 9 (of a possible 10 being the highest.) This is what has made me so successful as a restaurant supervisor, planner, and generally task-oriented person. My mom lives in this 8-9 range. These are things we share in common: If we aren't 10 minutes early we are late!

Our children must always be clean and presentable. If we have a to-do list, every item on it will be complete or we are not going to bed. We play the same thing over and over and over in our heads. The list goes on and on. My dad on the other hand is laid back. "Relax, if it doesn't get done today it will be done tomorrow. Oh well. If you ripped your new jeans, did you have fun? Listen, get some sleep, you'll feel better about it in the morning. Look in the mirror everyday and say 3 times. 'I love myself, I love myself, I love myself'." etc.

The job of a fast food restaurant manager can be more stressful than anyone could imagine.

Being the supervisor of 8 such restaurants is unimaginable. It is nearly impossible to have things going well in every restaurant all at one time. As a restaurant manager, I regularly worked 75 hours a week because I had to be the best restaurant. Settling for number 2 was out of the question. You constantly have problems. A piece of equipment breaks and you cannot get parts for a week. The fryolators die in the middle of a $3500 lunch rush. One of your teen employees is having a crisis at school while you have three people trying to callout sick, at the same time a bus full of 50 hungry

high school football players is pulling onto the lot. You run out of eggs during Saturday morning breakfast and the shift manger forgot to mention you were low. You are fresh back from vacation and you realize you are heading into the lunch rush with only nine crew people and seven of them only know how to work the cash register. Who is going to cook the food? This is just a small sampling of the hourly problems you encounter. This was the environment I thrived in. I excelled at finding systems so these problems didn't repeat themselves or at least were minimized.

I'll give you an example from right now. I am typing this letter on an old-fashioned typewriter and all of these typos and missed commas are stressing me out. I am half considering retyping.

Anyway. I don't know if any of this gives you and John some insight this matters but I am hopeful that this will at least give an insight into me and how I process things.
August 26, 2010 (201)

This morning I completed the reading of Letters from NHSP pages 127-144. A lot of good info in here and descriptions of the photographs you had me identify earlier. This got me to thinking, I don't really know what there is on the website for photos. I indentified a lot that I don't believe we are currently using. I think you told me that you also didn't include a lot from 2001. This is fine. However, there are some photos from 2001 that I think are important to display. For example, there was a photo of me in my parents' living room with Kyle sitting on the sofa I believe wearing my sock around his head as a bandana, me laying on the floor with Malana on top of me and I'm reaching up to hold Nicole's hand. I just think it is a great photo that shows the closeness of family and who we are. Another example. I think some of the photos of Amanda I had taken in January 2001 at Vanessa's, and again of us in April 2001 at Robin Hood Park, show dramatic fluctuations in Amanda's weight as she battled depression over Kassidy's death. The state is sure my motives for being with Amanda were selfish. However, there was a real need. I'm not kidding when I told you for those first few months she was in such a funk I had to literally spoon feed her to keep her going. I don't believe she would have been able to handle it if she had lost me and Kassidy all at once. I don't mean to sound cocky. It was just a huge loss with Kassidy, I was the guy she loved and trusted, and she had no family support. Obviously, I loved Amanda very much and wanted to be with her as well. But more important than my strong love for Amanda was the basic human decency to be there for a woman grieving the incredible loss of her daughter.

The photo numbers in these pages add proof to these events. I am quite certain that even today Amanda would tell you the same thing. Speaking of Amanda, we had a brief conversation on the phone last evening and you asked me to remind you in writing. The next time you speak with her, whether it is in October or if she contacts you prior, can you please let her know that she can write me herself if she has questions. I am always going to care about her and help her anyway possible. She's the only other woman I've wanted to marry and spend my life with. At this point, I finally feel that I have the right person [YOU] to help get me out of this mess and I just want her to do what she ALWAYS promised to do, help us get the truth out. She is the only other person that knows the details like I do, it was our lives! I have very little credibility and need her help. [Also] while you have her, give her a brief background on your letters from NHSP section of website and let her know she may want to go check out pages 139-140. There are some great memories there of Kassidy that I know she would enjoy.

Letting her know I'm not angry at her will likely ease her guilt a bit and make communicating a bit easier. If she actually starts communicating to me, I know she will follow through and help. As I have always said, this will make it real to her and she will want to get the truth out so I have a chance at getting home to Kyle.

The memories of Kassidy on 139 and 140 are the type that Amanda will really cherish.

While on the subject of Amanda, I am going to attempt to identify some of the missing photos of Kassidy that Amanda may still have or were destroyed in the fire in Vernon. You can put it right in your Amanda folder along with the previous paragraph because you mentioned at some point verifying them with Amanda. These missing photos could be worth 1000 words.

1. I recall several photos that Amanda took of Kassidy and Kyle playing at the house.

2. There were some great photos that Amanda took in the boat. I recall one where Kassidy was sitting on the back bench seat by herself as we were stopped in the middle of Baxter Lake.

3. I'm positive there was a photo that Amanda took standing in the bow of the boat where I was driving and had Kyle and Kassidy on my lap helping me steer.

4. There was a day that we took Kyle, Kassidy and Brent to Hampton Beach. My mother recently gave you a photo of the boys climbing on the rocks. Amanda took the photo with Kassidy beside her. I took a photo of them together.

5. There are several missing photos of Kassidy in the high chair. Amanda was always snapping those photos. I remember we had a few cute ones with food all over her face. In one of them, Amanda ran to get the camera because she was licking the ice cream bowl and had some on her nose.

6. There are at least 2 photos of her playing with Kato that I remember.

7. Jackie already contacted you about the missing photos of Josh and Kassidy at Water Country that Amanda took.

8. There are the missing photos of Kassidy and Malana together in the kiddie pool.

9. There are the missing photos of Kassidy and Josh together when he stayed at our house in Rochester. Amanda was always snapping photos. I thought I should buy stock in Kodak that summer. :)

10. I'm pretty sure that Amanda had a photo with Kassidy sitting on my lap on the 3 wheeler or the riding tractor.

11. I'm fairly certain we had a photo of Kassidy and Ashley, Bruce and Michelle Truell's daughter playing together at the Truell's house, backyard.

12. There was at least one photo of Amanda and Kassidy snuggled up in our bed that I took.

13. Amanda took photos of Kassidy in her car seat wearing sun glasses.

14. There are several more photos missing from the day at York's Wild Animal Kingdom.

15. I'm pretty sure that Amanda had a photo of Kassidy and I playing together on the floor from the night Amanda came home from the money mgt. class in Portsmouth. This was the evening I described in a letter to you very early on where Kassidy actually wanted me and pushed Amanda away when she came to play with us. First and only time that happened.

16. We had some of Kassidy at the playground in Rochester.

17. I remember a really cute one of Kassidy sitting on the couch watching cartoons and had her Teletubby, Tinky Winky, right with her.

18. I'm sure Amanda had some of her sleeping. Kassidy was like the most adorable sleeper.

19. I know Amanda took some of Kassidy on the trampoline. They both loved jumping together on the trampoline.

20. I remember there were several photos of Kassidy framed that Amanda had placed on the fireplace mantle.

21. I'm not sure where we were, but Amanda had one of Kassidy sitting on my shoulders. This is how I carried her a lot.

More: I know there were others, Amanda and Kassidy out with Amanda's friends places. etc. This is what I can think of in about 10 minutes. I'm hopeful that Amanda can give you more examples. I've been immersed in "2000-land" for so long that these quickly came to me. Likely I will think of more at some point. I will say one thing though. I was upset at how few I was in with Kassidy. I remember Amanda had this huge envelope while we were camping in Vernon They were all the photos she had taken, and some her mother had given her, etc. We pulled them all out on the bed one evening to look at them and I remembered being upset. I actually think I started crying. There were only like 5 pictures of us together.

I was sad about it because I loved her too and the weight of the fact that I'll never be able to take more photos of us together was like pressing down on my chest. Amanda was very sweet and comforting about this. Hugging me and reminding me that I had taken a lot of the photos and that Kassidy loved me. "What we keep in our heads and our hearts is what's important." Amanda did have a knack for saying comforting things.

By the way, on those 2 pages that I asked you to inform Amanda about, 129 and 130 of NHSP letters, there is a spot in there were I again affectionately refer to Kyle as a "little shit" it had to do with him realizing that his mother didn't like him playing with her ears but his little hand inevitably making its way back to them.

With regards to FamilyStrength, I don't believe we made any final plans at the visit. If you can get me their address on Central Ave in Dover. Where I am working with a typewriter I don't want to write to Concord only to find I need to write to Dover. The less retyping the better.

You asked me to reread a section of my deposition in the civil suit that Jeff filed against me. I spent about an hour looking for it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure which deposition it is in and I didn't have the Appendix. But it doesn't matter. I know the answer to the question.