Saturday, January 13, 2007

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Gratitude, responsibility, and awareness

This is a difficult question for me and perhaps for all of us. As I have noted recently, I often seem to be absent from relationship- first with myself, then inevitably with others- much of the time. This is such a signature feature of our state that Da Free John (who now calls himself Da Love Ananda) said the key question for all of us in life is, "avoiding relationship?"

I don't much hang my hat on this particular guru's work, but I think he has a real point.

In my experience of this week there was a lot of sharing on a very simple, honest and practical level. Nothing special. Just human beings making the best effort they can to meet their lives in a responsible way, with sensitivity to others. I saw a number of old friends- one of whom I haven't seen for many years. It was very feeding and I was left this morning with an enormous sense of gratitude for this life I have been given.

Life is a very precious substance and a terrific responsibility.

Why do I say this?

Consider this carefully, deeply. Meditate on it:

Awareness creates reality.

In my experience, we all belong to a force much larger than what we perceive as "ourselves." As the custodians of our own consciousnesses, which locate themselves within this immense field of forces that creates reality, we are given the vital task of receiving and transmitting the impressions of the world and our lives. Collectively, this force we call consciousness creates the world: without consciousness to perceive it, there is no world.

The only condition under which there can be nothing is if there is nothing to perceive it. Existence cannot exist independent of perception. So reality is created by and arises from awareness.

Every one of us acts as a universe-creator within the field of our own awareness... ahem. Did I just refer to this idea as simple? My bad. The implications of this are too vast to swallow with the mind and I won't bother expounding on them here. (Go read a lot of Dogen. He expounds most wonderfully.) Instead I encourage readers to examine this proposition to see what is true. What does this mean in terms of our own responsibility? If all conscious beings are Gods that individually create the truth of a world through perception, what kind of Gods are they?

And what kind of Gods do we wish to be?

Speaking only for myself: in this awesome effort and act of understanding- physically, emotionally, and intellectually- that I both participate in the creation of, and reciprocally belong to, something much larger than myself, my being and my body resonate in oceans of sensation.

How am I responsible to my awareness?

With this thought I send love to all of you- today, most particularly, a certain special friend at school in Florida ...but hey, you're all special!

Monday, January 15, 2007

This daily life- this daily bread

They pop up everywhere-as evidenced from the picture, which was taken at the Chatuchak market in Bangkok. In each case they serve as a reminder that I am surrounded by the sacred everywhere I go, and no matter where I find myself. Because everything is sacred- every single thing- every single moment and circumstance and conjunction of events.

It's nearly impossible for us to understand this in our ordinary state, especially when something truly horrific happens. It takes the genius of a Viktor Frankl ("Man's Search for Meaning") or the spiritual depth of a Meister Eckart to help us gain insight into how even the worst events are sacred.

Still, most of us can recall some event in life where something that started out appearing as awfully bad eventually turned out to be very good. Not only that, all of us are familiar with the paradigm of the hero, who can never be tested and proven without the trials he faces.

The Thai practice reminds me that I don't need to just focus on peaks and valleys. This ordinary life, all of the mundane aspects I encounter in a day- each one of them is extraordinary. There isn't anything ordinary, in fact- the simplest, dumbest things are imbued with a hidden grace. Only by breathing my life in and out can I begin to get a sense of this. The entire universe is an expression of sublime and extraordinary divinity.

Even cigarette butts in the gutter are part of this immense and awe-inspiring event called creation. The fact that we have trivialized them (or anything) by using them, discarding them, and then defining them as worthless makes no difference to the universe. They still have the inherent value they began with as cosmic substances. The atoms they are made up of, forged in the furnaces of stars, are every bit as miraculous as they were before we puffed them into a conglomeration of tar-soaked dead leaves and ash.

How like this thing called consciousness! No matter how battered and abused, it nurses a spark that simply cannot be extinguished. Even if, in this particular life, it appears to be corrupted and defeated, the essential inner light of Truth which comes from the heart cannot be destroyed.

It's hard to remember that when we meet our life with the inevitable mass of definitions and dismissals we are filled with by what we call "education" and a habitual disinterest born from years of overstimulation. We forget that this daily life is that daily bread Christ advised us to pray for. Each and every impression of life is a food to be grateful for.

In the making of that effort, may we dare to hope?- we may be discovered by something called Grace.

I found, when I was younger and rowed boats more frequently, that rowing seemed monotonous and tedious- unless I invested myself in the rhythm and forgot about the destination. It was in the physical experience that I learned to appreciate every pull of the oar for the pulling itself.

Dwelling within the moment shrinks the distance between the heart and the object of its wish.
It is within this world of small, ordinary things that I discover a universe.