Chapter 29: Page 5
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At last they got out the coffin and begun to unscrew the lid, and then such another crowding and shouldering and shoving as there was, to scrouge in and get a sight, you never see; and in the dark, that way, it was awful. Hines he hurt my wrist dreadful pulling and tugging so, and I reckon he clean forgot I was in the world, he was so excited and panting.
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At last they pulled out the coffin and began to unscrew the lid. There was more crowding and shoulder rubbing and shoving to take a look than you’ve ever seen. And because it was all happening in the dark, it was just awful. Hines pulled and tugged so hard that he hurt my wrist pretty badly—I suppose he forgot that I even existed. He was panting with excitement.
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All of a sudden the lightning let go a perfect sluice of white glare, and somebody sings out:
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All of a sudden the lightning flashed a perfect bolt of white light. Someone cried out:
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“By the living jingo, here’s the bag of gold on his breast!”
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“By devil, here’s the bag of gold on his breast!”
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Hines let out a whoop, like everybody else, and dropped my wrist and give a big surge to bust his way in and get a look, and the way I lit out and shinned for the road in the dark there ain’t nobody can tell.
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Hines let out a whoop along with everyone else. He let go of my wrist and shoved his way forward to get a look. That’s when I took off. You’ve never seen anyone run faster than I did as I headed for the road.
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I had the road all to myself, and I fairly flew—leastways, I had it all to myself except the solid dark, and the now-and-then glares, and the buzzing of the rain, and the thrashing of the wind, and the splitting of the thunder; and sure as you are born I did clip it along!
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I was alone on the road—well, except for the darkness, the flashes of lightening, the pelting rain, the thrashing wind, and the ear-splitting thunder. I flew along that road, and as sure as you were born, I ran fast.
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When I struck the town I see there warn’t nobody out in the storm, so I never hunted for no back streets, but humped it straight through the main one; and when I begun to get towards our house I aimed my eye and set it. No light there; the house all dark—which made me feel sorry and disappointed, I didn’t know why. But at last, just as I was sailing by, FLASH comes the light in Mary Jane’s window! and my heart swelled up sudden, like to bust; and the same second the house and all was behind me in the dark, and wasn’t ever going to be before me no more in this world. She WAS the best girl I ever see, and had the most sand.
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When I reached the town, I saw that there wasn’t anyone out in the storm, so I didn’t bother going down the back streets. Instead, I ran straight down the main street. As I got closer to our house, I ran even harder straight for it. The house was completely dark; there was no light at all. I don’t know why, but this made me feel sad and disappointed. But just when I was running by, FLASH came a light in Mary Jane’s window! My heart swelled so much that it could have burst. In another second the house and everything else was behind me and in the dark. Never again would I be back, not in this lifetime anyway. She WAS the best girl I ever met, and the most courageous too.
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The minute I was far enough above the town to see I could make the towhead, I begun to look sharp for a boat to borrow, and the first time the lightning showed me one that wasn’t chained I snatched it and shoved. It was a canoe, and warn’t fastened with nothing but a rope. The towhead was a rattling big distance off, away out there in the middle of the river, but I didn’t lose no time; and when I struck the raft at last I was so fagged I would a just laid down to blow and gasp if I could afforded it. But I didn’t. As I sprung aboard I sung out:
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As soon as I was far enough above the town that I could reach the towhead, I began to look carefully for a boat I could borrow. The first time the lightning lit up a boat that wasn’t chained, I took it and shoved off into the river. It was a canoe that had been fastened to the shore with a rope. The towhead was pretty far off in the distance, way out in the middle of the river, but I didn’t waste any time. When I finally reached the raft, I was so exhausted I could have just lied down and heaved and gasped for breath, if I had the time. But I didn’t. As I got aboard I cried out:
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“Out with you, Jim, and set her loose! Glory be to goodness, we’re shut of them!”
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“Come out here, Jim, and set the raft loose! Good gracious, we’re rid of them!”
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Jim lit out, and was a-coming for me with both arms spread, he was so full of joy; but when I glimpsed him in the lightning my heart shot up in my mouth and I went overboard backwards; for I forgot he was old King Lear and a drownded A-rab all in one, and it most scared the livers and lights out of me. But Jim fished me out, and was going to hug me and bless me, and so on, he was so glad I was back and we was shut of the king and the duke, but I says:
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Jim came out and was so happy that he came over me with both arms spread. But when I saw him in a flash of lightning, my heart jumped up into my throat, and I fell over backwards and off the raft—I’d forgotten that he’d been made to look like a cross between old King Lear and a drowned A-rab. It scared the living daylights out of me. Jim fished me out of the water. He was going to hug me and bless me and so on because he was so glad I was back and that we were rid of the king and the duke, but I said:
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“Not now; have it for breakfast, have it for breakfast! Cut loose and let her slide!”
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“Not now—save it for breakfast, save it for breakfast! Cut the raft loose, and let it float down the river!”
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So in two seconds away we went a-sliding down the river, and it DID seem so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river, and nobody to bother us. I had to skip around a bit, and jump up and crack my heels a few times—I couldn’t help it; but about the third crack I noticed a sound that I knowed mighty well, and held my breath and listened and waited; and sure enough, when the next flash busted out over the water, here they come!—and just a-laying to their oars and making their skiff hum! It was the king and the duke.
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In two second, we were away and gliding down the river. It DID feel so good to be free again and all by ourselves on the big river with no one to bother us. I had to pace around a bit and jump and crack my joints a few times—I couldn’t help it. But after the third time I did this, I noticed a sound that I knew all too well. I held my breath and listened and waited, and sure enough—when the next flash of lightning lit up the water, there they were, paddling their skiff furiously and flying over the water! It was the king and duke.
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So I wilted right down on to the planks then, and give up; and it was all I could do to keep from crying.
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I collapsed onto the planks of the raft and gave up. It was all I could do to keep from crying.
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Chapter 30
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WHEN they got aboard the king went for me, and shook me by the collar, and says:
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The king came after me as soon as they got on board. He shook me by the collar and said:
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“Tryin’ to give us the slip, was ye, you pup! Tired of our company, hey?”
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“Trying to run away from us, were you, kid? Tired of our company, huh?”
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I says:
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I said:
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“No, your majesty, we warn’t—PLEASE don’t, your majesty!”
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“No, your majesty, we weren’t. Please don’t, your majesty!”
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“Quick, then, and tell us what WAS your idea, or I’ll shake the insides out o’ you!”
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“Well then tell us what you were trying to do, or I’ll shake you inside out!”
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“Honest, I’ll tell you everything just as it happened, your majesty. The man that had a-holt of me was very good to me, and kept saying he had a boy about as big as me that died last year, and he was sorry to see a boy in such a dangerous fix; and when they was all took by surprise by finding the gold, and made a rush for the coffin, he lets go of me and whispers, ’Heel it now, or they’ll hang ye, sure!’ and I lit out. It didn’t seem no good for ME to stay—I couldn’t do nothing, and I didn’t want to be hung if I could get away. So I never stopped running till I found the canoe; and when I got here I told Jim to hurry, or they’d catch me and hang me yet, and said I was afeard you and the duke wasn’t alive now, and I was awful sorry, and so was Jim, and was awful glad when we see you coming; you may ask Jim if I didn’t.”
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“I swear I’ll tell you everything just like it happened, your majesty. The man that had hold of me was very nice to me, and he kept saying he had a boy about my size who died last year. He was sorry to see another boy in such a dangerous situation. When they were all distracted and rushed toward the coffin after finding the gold, he let go of me and whispered, ‘Run now, or they’ll hang you for sure!’ So I took off. It didn’t seem like it would do me any good to stay—I couldn’t do anything and I didn’t want to be hanged if I could escape. So I ran and didn’t stop running until I found the canoe. When I got here, I told Jim to hurry or else I’d be caught and hanged. I said that I was afraid you and the duke were dead. I was awfully sorry and so was Jim, and we were awfully glad to see that you were coming. You can ask Jim if it’s true.”
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Jim said it was so; and the king told him to shut up, and said, “Oh, yes, it’s MIGHTY likely!” and shook me up again, and said he reckoned he’d drownd me. But the duke says:
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Jim said it was true. The king told him to shut up, then said: “Oh sure, THAT’S a likely story!” He shook me again and said he should go ahead and drown me. But the duke said:
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“Leggo the boy, you old idiot! Would YOU a done any different? Did you inquire around for HIM when you got loose? I don’t remember it.”
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“Let go of the boy, you old idiot. Would YOU have done any different? Did you ask around for HIM when you escaped? I don’t remember you doing so.”
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So the king let go of me, and begun to cuss that town and everybody in it. But the duke says:
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So the king let go of me and began to swear at that town and everyone in it. But the duke said:
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“You better a blame’ sight give YOURSELF a good cussing, for you’re the one that’s entitled to it most. You hain’t done a thing from the start that had any sense in it, except coming out so cool and cheeky with that imaginary blue-arrow mark. That WAS bright—it was right down bully; and it was the thing that saved us. For if it hadn’t been for that they’d a jailed us till them Englishmen’s baggage come—and then—the penitentiary, you bet! But that trick took ’em to the graveyard, and the gold done us a still bigger kindness; for if the excited fools hadn’t let go all holts and made that rush to get a look we’d a slept in our cravats to-night—cravats warranted to WEAR, too—longer than WE’D need ’em.”
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“You better swear at yourself too, because you’re the one that deserves the most blame. Since the beginning, you haven’t done one sensible thing, except for coming up with that slick imaginary blue arrow mark. That WAS smart—it was pretty great, actually, and was the thing that saved us. If it hadn’t been for that, they would have put us in jail until that Englishman’s bags arrived. And then they would have put us in the penitentiary for sure! Your little trick sent them to the graveyard, though, and the gold helped us out even more. If those excited fools hadn’t let go of us and rushed to get a look, we would have been sleeping in our neckties tonight, and we would be wearing them much longer than we’d ever need to.”
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They was still a minute—thinking; then the king says, kind of absent-minded like:
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They stood there a minute thinking. Then the king absent-mindedly said:
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“Mf! And we reckoned the NIGGERS stole it!”
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“Huh! And we thought the N------ had stolen it!”
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That made me squirm!
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That made me squirm!
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“Yes,” says the duke, kinder slow and deliberate and sarcastic, “WE did.”
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“Yes,” said the duke, in a slow, deliberate, and sarcastic manner. “WE did.”
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After about a half a minute the king drawls out:
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About half a minute later the king drawled:
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“Leastways, I did.”
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“At least, I thought they did.”
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The duke says, the same way:
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In the same tone, the duke said:
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“On the contrary, I did.”
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“Oh, I did.”
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The king kind of ruffles up, and says:
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The king ruffled up a bit and said:
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“Looky here, Bilgewater, what’r you referrin’ to?”
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“Look here, Bilgewater. What’re you getting at?”
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The duke says, pretty brisk:
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The duke said briskly:
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“When it comes to that, maybe you’ll let me ask, what was YOU referring to?”
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“If you’re going to put it that way, let me ask you: What were YOU getting at?”
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“Shucks!” says the king, very sarcastic; “but I don’t know—maybe you was asleep, and didn’t know what you was about.”
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“Geez,” said the king, very sarcastically. “I don’t know—maybe you were asleep and didn’t know what was going on.”
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The duke bristles up now, and says:
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The duke bristled and said:
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“Oh, let UP on this cussed nonsense; do you take me for a blame’ fool? Don’t you reckon I know who hid that money in that coffin?”
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“Will you forget about all this nonsense? Do you think I’m an idiot? Don’t you think I know who hid that money in the coffin?”
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“YES, sir! I know you DO know, because you done it yourself!”
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“YES, sir! I know you DO know, because you did it yourself!”
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“It’s a lie!"—and the duke went for him. The king sings out:
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“Liar!” the duke said as he lunged for the king. The king cried:
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“Take y’r hands off!—leggo my throat!—I take it all back!”
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“Take your hands off me! Let go of my throat! I take it all back!”
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The duke says:
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The duke said:
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“Well, you just own up, first, that you DID hide that money there, intending to give me the slip one of these days, and come back and dig it up, and have it all to yourself.”
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“Well, just admit that you DID hide that money in the coffin with the intention of leaving me one of these days and coming back to dig it up and keep to yourself.”
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“Wait jest a minute, duke—answer me this one question, honest and fair; if you didn’t put the money there, say it, and I’ll b’lieve you, and take back everything I said.”
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“Wait just a minute, duke. Answer this one question honestly for me. If you didn’t put the money there, then just say it. I’ll believe you and take back everything I said.”
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Chapter 30: Page 2
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“You old scoundrel, I didn’t, and you know I didn’t. There, now!”
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“You old scoundrel. I didn’t, and you know I didn’t. There!”
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“Well, then, I b’lieve you. But answer me only jest this one more—now DON’T git mad; didn’t you have it in your mind to hook the money and hide it?”
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“Well, then I believe you. But answer just one more question for me. Now don’t get mad, but weren’t you planning to the steal the money and hide it?”
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The duke never said nothing for a little bit; then he says:
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The duke didn’t say anything for a bit. Then he said:
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“Well, I don’t care if I DID, I didn’t DO it, anyway. But you not only had it in mind to do it, but you DONE it.”
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“Well, what does it matter if I DID plan that? I didn’t DO it. You were also thinking about doing it, and you actually did it.”
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“I wisht I never die if I done it, duke, and that’s honest. I won’t say I warn’t goin’ to do it, because I WAS; but you—I mean somebody—got in ahead o’ me.”
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“If I did it, duke, then I wish I would never die. That’s the honest truth. I won’t say I wasn’t planning to do it, because I WAS. But you—I mean, someone—beat me to it.”
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“It’s a lie! You done it, and you got to SAY you done it, or—”
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“Liar! You did it, and you had better SAY you did, or else….”
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The king began to gurgle, and then he gasps out:
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The king sputtered a bit, then gasped:
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“’Nough!—I OWN UP!”
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“Enough! I confess!”
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I was very glad to hear him say that; it made me feel much more easier than what I was feeling before. So the duke took his hands off and says:
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I was very glad to hear him say this—it made me feel much easier about things. So the duke let go of the king and said:
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“If you ever deny it again I’ll drown you. It’s WELL for you to set there and blubber like a baby—it’s fitten for you, after the way you’ve acted. I never see such an old ostrich for wanting to gobble everything—and I a-trusting you all the time, like you was my own father. You ought to been ashamed of yourself to stand by and hear it saddled on to a lot of poor niggers, and you never say a word for ’em. It makes me feel ridiculous to think I was soft enough to BELIEVE that rubbage. Cuss you, I can see now why you was so anxious to make up the deffisit—you wanted to get what money I’d got out of the Nonesuch and one thing or another, and scoop it ALL!”
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“If you ever deny it again, I’ll drown you. It’s a fine thing for you to sit there and cry like a baby—it’s just perfect, especially after the way you acted. I’ve never seen such a greedy old ostrich who wanted to eat up everything in sight. I trusted you the whole time as if you were my own father. You ought to be ashamed of yourself to stand there and let a bunch of poor n------ take the blame without coming to their defense. It makes me feel ridiculous to think I was gullible enough to BELIEVE that rubbish. Damn you. I can see now why you were so anxious to make up the deficit—you wanted to get all the money that I’d made from the other schemes too!”
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The king says, timid, and still a-snuffling:
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Still sniffling, the king said rather timidly:
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“Why, duke, it was you that said make up the deffisit; it warn’t me.”
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“Why, duke, it was you that suggested making up the deficit. It wasn’t me.”
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“Dry up! I don’t want to hear no more out of you!” says the duke. “And NOW you see what you GOT by it. They’ve got all their own money back, and all of OURN but a shekel or two BESIDES. G’long to bed, and don’t you deffersit ME no more deffersits, long ’s YOU live!”
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“Stop crying! I don’t want to hear anything more out of you,” said the duke. “And NOW you see what came of all your scheming. They’ve got all their own money back, and with the exception of a coin or two, all of ours too! Go to bed, and don’t say another word to ME about deficits for as long as you live!”
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So the king sneaked into the wigwam and took to his bottle for comfort, and before long the duke tackled HIS bottle; and so in about a half an hour they was as thick as thieves again, and the tighter they got the lovinger they got, and went off a-snoring in each other’s arms. They both got powerful mellow, but I noticed the king didn’t get mellow enough to forget to remember to not deny about hiding the money-bag again. That made me feel easy and satisfied. Of course when they got to snoring we had a long gabble, and I told Jim everything.
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The king snuck back into the wigwam and started drinking to consol himself. After awhile, the duke took to his bottle and started drinking too. In about a half an hour, they were good buddies again. The drunker they got, the friendlier they got. Soon they were snoring in each other’s arms. They got pretty drunk, but the king was just sober enough to deny hiding the bag of money one more time. That made me relax a bit and feel satisfied that things were going to be okay. Of course, as soon as they started snoring, Jim and I had a long talk, and I told him everything.
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