Alexander Hoyle Professor Amy Bloom

Professor Amy Bloom

Film 455

February 26, 2013

ACT ONE

KEVIN SHORT, 25, a forlorn looking, moderately handsome white man in graduation robes trudges unsteadily through the melting Wisconsin snow. He is heading towards an idling station wagon and fumbles with the door handle before entering.

INT. CAR – DAY

Kevin sits beside his mother, MARTHA SHORT, late fifties, in good shape with a pointed look on her face. She drives slowly and silently to their shared home. V.O. from Martha very agitatedly expressing her inability to tolerate her child living with her any longer. V.O. from Kevin regarding ‘his’ decision not to pursue a Ph.D., then about his gratitude that he will finally have time to get his driver’s license. When they pull up to the house, Kevin looks ingratiatingly at his mother: “I love you, mom.” Her response: “I like you, Kev.”

INT. SHORT HOME – DEN – DAY

Kevin slumps down on the couch and begins to pick his nose unabashedly. We begin a series of scenes set to music:

INT. SHORT HOME – STAIRCASE – DAY

Kevin, in open bathrobe and underwear, studies family photos on the stairwell. Carrying a load of laundry and unable to see him as she descends the staircase, Martha knocks him down the stairs.

INT. SHORT HOME – DEN – DAY

Kevin, in the same ensemble, brings Martha a beer and chips as she watches How It’s Made on the couch. She waves him off as he stands in front of the television. He sits in an easy chair and reaches for a chip – Martha slaps his hand away. We notice about a month and a half has passed by as we look past Kevin to a window – the snow outside has mostly melted and Kevin has grown some rather unbecoming facial hair.

INT. SHORT HOME – KITCHEN – NIGHT

The family, now including Kevin’s father (FRED SHORT, late fifties while retaining some semblance of youth), sit around the dinner table eating take out Chinese food while Kevin is still in the same getup. The family members eat in silence. Kevin opens his fortune cookie: “Expect big changes tomorrow!” He flips the slip of paper over: “Yeah, right. You’re unemployed and live with your parents. Lucky Numbers: [blank].”

INT. DEPARTMENT OF MOTOR VEHICLES – LICENSING DESK –DAY

Kevin, again in a bathrobe and underwear, is denied his license at the DMV.

EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL – PLAYGROUND – SAME DAY

End of montage. Kevin stares wistfully at the children playing; it’s now mid-February. V.O. expressing his desire to escape back to childhood, specifically his days at school. One child’s mother enters the playground and, taking note of the bathrobe/underwear combo, gives Kevin a scornful glare.

INT. SHORT HOME – KITCHEN – NIGHT

An argument develops between Kevin and his parents regarding his future – getting out of the house to finally work. Kevin contests that he can’t do anything with his history degree, his father proposes that he teach – one of his (the father’s) graduate students is a dean at the

INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL OF WASHINGTON, DC (ISDC). Kevin makes a completely uninformed, baseless counterpoint regarding the fact that he could never be hired. Father Fred makes a quick call and…

SMASH CUT TO: EXT. REAGAN NATIONAL – RUNWAY - DAY

A plane lands.

INT. AIRPLANE - DAY

As if continuing the argument, Kevin mumbles to himself “The laws must be different in DC or something…”

ACT TWO

Kevin arrives at the sprawling campus in Bethesda, MD in a taxicab. While waiting, he tentatively begins to pick his nose, but is just interrupted by the Dean of Students (IAN GREEN, 48, a meek looking, nervous English man with a lisp), who rushes out of the building to greet Kevin.

INT. ISDC – FIRST FLOOR HALLWAY – DAY

Kevin and Ian talk about the school and Kevin’s new position as a 6^th grade history teacher as they walk from the entrance toward the teachers’ lounge. “You’ll note that we value real-world experience here,” notes Ian, as they pass by the door to a science lab, in which we see JEAN-MARIE DUBOIS, 37, a benign-looking black Frenchman, balding and pudgy, overlooking students who are making bombs – we see miniature mushroom clouds forming over desks. As they turn towards the lounge, Kevin catches the gaze of XUI-LI “JULIE” LAH, 26, an attractive Asian-American woman, who throws him a brief smile.

INT. ISDC – TEACHERS’ LOUNGE – DAY

Inside the spacious, ornately decorated teachers’ lounge, we see EDNA KRUZINSKI, 46, a woman who looks rode hard and put up wet but who retains a svelte figure, massaging her temples while sitting at what appears to be a bar. Ian offers Kevin a drink, and a 10-YEAR-OLD CHILD appears at the bar. Kevin looks puzzled and refuses while Ian asks for a Shirley Temple. At this moment, the school principal (REZᾹ ROUHANI, 53, a tall, handsome Persian man with an imposing posture) enters the lounge. He orders a Scotch, neat, and makes an offhanded comment about a welcome party to Ian. Kevin, overhearing, assumes the event is in his honor. “Why yes, of course you’re invited,” remarks Ian, who then briefly introduces the principal. Ian informs Kevin that he has his first class in just a few minutes. Kevin inquires after what caused his predecessor to leave so suddenly. Stumbling, Ian utters an inaudible response while hastily finishing his drink before ushering Kevin to class.

INT. ISDC – SECOND FLOOR CLASSROOM – DAY

Nervously standing in front of his class of 6^th graders, Kevin asks where the last teacher left off. “We were just talking about how America enjoyed such a successful victory in the Vietnam War,” remarks a YOUNG GIRL. Kevin, taken aback, corrects her. The children are aghast at his anti-American insolence. The young girl begins to cry.

INT. ISDC – FACULTY LOUNGE – DAY

Kevin, sitting alone at the end of the lunch table eating a sloppily-made PB&J, is joined by Julie and MAX MCCOURT, 29, a stunningly attractive and immaculately dressed man. “Hey, new guy, heard you said Americans were pussies,” says Max. Julie elbows him while Kevin, flustered, tries to defend himself. Julie explains the prevailing pro-US ideology at ISDC in brief, and then introduces herself and Max. Kevin asks if they will be at the party later; Max says yes, and in such a way that Kevin continues to think the gala is for his own welcoming. They continue to discuss the particulars of the school until Jean-Marie sits down at the other end of the table and begins to eat pizza with a knife and fork. Some light ribbing on the part of Max, and Kevin follows up it with a joke that goes too far. Jean-Marie gives Kevin a sad glare and stares down into his food dejectedly. Julie, with work to do, gets up to leave and gives Max a kiss on the cheek. Max pinches her bottom and she slaps it away playfully. After she leaves, Max asks for two beers from the child bartender and stuffs them in his bag. Confirming that Kevin doesn’t have any remaining class for the day, Max invites Kevin to join him for a “little fun.”

EXT. ISDC – SCHOOL GROUNDS – DAY

They walk along the manicured pathway along the side of the school while Max gives mostly sound advice about working at ISDC; Kevin feigns experience about teaching and gets caught up in an (inconsequential) lie. They pass a beautiful, buxom, high school girl (LORENZA LOMBARDI) who maintains eye contact with Max a beat too long. We see children running what appears to be a military boot camp-style obstacle course in the distance.

INT. ISDC – FIELD HOUSE – DAY

In an empty field house, Max and Kevin chug their beers. Max instructs Kevin to place the empty cans at the far end of the gym while Max retrieves a crossbow. “Real-world experience,” reiterates Max in response to Kevin’s puzzlement as he fires and hits the can. He loads it again for Kevin, who fires, misses, and causes a Rube-Goldberg-like chain reaction resulting in a small explosion. Max assures Kevin that they’ll have it fixed by tomorrow. Fade out.

ACT THREE

INT. HOTEL IN WASHINGTON, DC – BALLROOM – NIGHT

A large “Welcome to ISDC!” banner hangs over a center stage as faculty and staff mill about the elegant room in equally elegant eveningwear. A YOUNG GIRL, also in a cocktail dress, plays beautiful lounge music at a grand piano. Kevin enters from outside in a 70s style polyester suit, clashing paisley shirt, and a floral tie. He sees Reza at the entrance. “What in the hell are you wearing?” he asks. “I thought it’d be funny, you know, an ice-breaker.” responds Kevin. “It’s not.” Kevin walks toward the bar and jumps at the sight of the same 10-year-old boy as before. He orders a White Russian, which he proceeds to choke down while airing some grievances about the school to the bartender. Max and Julie come over to him (ordering a Manhattan and a Whiskey Sour, respectively), make fun of his ensemble, and engage in some small talk. Kevin orders another drink, a Cosmopolitan, and excuses himself to the bathroom.

INT. HOTEL – BATHROOM – NIGHT

Kevin, fly incredibly open (as it will remain the rest of the night), runs into Jean-Marie. Jean-Marie seems willing to forget Kevin’s earlier faux pas and introduces himself. A little drunk, Kevin responds “Mary? That’s a girl’s name!” Jean-Marie looks hurt and storms off into a stall, getting his coat tail stuck. Kevin stands there, looking like a fool, while he sips his Cosmo through the stirrer.

INT. HOTEL – BALLROOM – NIGHT

Kevin wanders around, looking lost, and bumps into Edna. Edna, a little drunk and more than a little flirty, says “You look like my ex-husband at our senior prom.” They have quite the engaging little talk, wherein Kevin expresses that he’s a little perplexed at the school’s unorthodox methods and hopes to become a more effective teacher, shake things up a little. Edna, jaded, wishes him good luck before she’s whisked away by Reza. Kevin makes his way back to the bar and sits next to a kindergarten teacher (ROSE GREEN, 23, Ian’s very attractive daughter). He tries to flirt with her but makes a total ass of himself instead. She leaves and Max replaces her, assuring Kevin that she’s “not worth the trouble” after he orders his usual Manhattan. Max is now alone – Julie has gone home to grade papers. “So do I get to make a speech?” Kevin asks, before he is interrupted by the tapping of the microphone on stage. Angle on: Ian, who makes a preamble welcoming their new hire – Kevin stands – GENERAL JOHNSON of the US Army, sixties, a hulking spectacle of a man. “What?” Kevin asks “This isn’t for me?”

SMASH CUT TO: ISDC – TEACHERS’ LOUNGE – EARLIER

Ian, with a different intonation than before – he’s embarrassed that he forgot to ask Kevin: “Why, yes! Of course! You’re invited!”

INT. HOTEL – BALLROOM – NIGHT

Ian continues with a speech, introducing the General as the new groundskeeper, making mention of the General’s vast experience in the field of landscaping maintenance. “You know, the army, they need neatly mowed lawns so the tanks can run smoothly,” asserts Max. Kevin, clearly upset, orders a Mojito. Max proposes that they leave.

INT. COLLEGE BAR – NIGHT

A lively bar, Max is drinking another Manhattan (now visibly drunk) and Kevin a Strawberry Daiquiri. Max starts to flirt with a coed and fails. Kevin, reproachful, asks “Uhm, aren’t you with Julie?” Max writes it off as harmless. He asks Kevin to drive him home, who responds that he doesn’t know how. “You pussy.”

EXT. WASHINGTON, DC – SIDEWALK – NIGHT