Apr 24 2011 dcfc english Worship [The Master & The Disciple] Luke 24: 28-36

COMMUNICATION

Jewish Janitor vs. the Pope

Date: 5/2007.101

To the Jews of Rome this was a great tragedy, for they knew no refuge where they might not expect worse treatment than in Rome. They appealed to the Pope for reconsideration, and the Pope, a fair minded man, suggested a sporting proposition. If the Jews would appoint one of their own number to engage in a debate with him, in pantomime, and if the Jewish representative were to win the debate, the Jews might remain.

The Jewish leaders gathered in the synagogue that night and considered the proposition. It seemed the only way out, but none of their number wished to volunteer to debate. Then the chief rabbi said, "It is impossible to win a debate in which the Pope will be both participant and judge. And how can I face the possibility that the eviction of the Jews will be the result of my specific failure?"

The synagogue janitor, who had been quietly sweeping the floor through all this, suddenly spoke up. "I'll debate," he said. They stared at him in astonishment.

"You, a cheap janitor?" said the chief rabbi. "Debate with the Pope?"

"Someone has to," said the janitor, "and none of you will."

So the janitor was made the representative of the Jewish community to debate with the Pope.

The great date came. In the square before St. Peter's was the Pope, surrounded by the College of Cardinals in full panoply, with crowds of bishops and other churchly functionaries. Approaching was the Jewish janitor, surrounded by a few of the leaders of the Jewish community in their somber black garb and their long gray beards.

Pope faced janitor, and the debate began.

Gravely, the Pope raised one finger and swept it across the heavens. Without hesitation the janitor pointed firmly toward the ground. The Pope looked surprised.

Even more gravely, the Pope raised one finger again, keeping it firmly before the janitor's face.

With the trace of a sneer, the janitor raised three fingers, holding the pose just as firmly. A look of deep astonishment crossed the Pope's face.

Then the Pope thrust his hand deep into his robes and produced an apple. The janitor thereupon opened a paper bag that was sticking out of his hip pocket and took out a flat piece of matzo. At this, the Pope exclaimed in a loud voice, "The Jewish representative has won the debate. The Jews may remain in Rome."

The janitor backed off, the Jewish leaders surrounded him, and all walked hastily out of the square.

They were no sooner gone than the church leaders clustered about the Pope. "What happened, your Holiness?" they demanded. "We could not follow the rapid give-and-take."

The Pope passed a shaking hand across his brow. "The man facing me," he said, "was a master at the art of debate. Consider! I began the debate by sweeping my hand across the sky to indicate that God ruled all the universe. Without pausing an instant, that old Jew pointed downward to indicate that nevertheless the Devil had been assigned a domination of his own below.

"I then raised one finger to indicate there was but one God, assuming I would catch him in the error of his own theology. Yet he instantly raised three fingers to indicate that the one God has three manifestations, a clear acceptance of the doctrine of the Trinity.

"Abandoning theology, I produced an apple to indicate that certain blind upholders of so-called science were flying in the face of revealed truth by declaring the Earth was as round as an apple. Instantly, he produced a flat piece of unleavened bread to indicate that the Earth, in accord with revelation, was nevertheless flat. So I granted him victory."

By now, the Jews and the janitor had reached the ghetto. All surrounded the janitor, demanding, "What happened?"

The janitor said indignantly, "The whole thing was nonsense. Listen. First the Pope waves his hand like he's saying, 'The Jews must get out of Rome.' So I pointed downward to say, 'Oh yeah? The Jews are going to stay right here.' So he points his finger at me as if to say, 'Drop dead, but the Jews are leaving.' So I pointed three fingers at him to say 'Drop dead three times, the Jews are staying.' So then I see he's taking out his lunch, so I take out mine."

COMMUNICATION, IMPORTANCE OF

Communication

Date: 6/2006.101

Preaching Magazine: Mikey's Funnies
We need to learn to communicate. Often we do not but instead listen to what others say about what he said. Thus lose the real meaning and misunderstandings results.

ILLUSTRATION: Communication

The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting." Feeling the heat from the police force, they decided to use a deaf person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.

On his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $50,000. He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector. The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is. The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter. The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where the money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"

The deaf signs in reply, "I don't know what you're talking about." The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

The hood pulls out a large gun and places it in the face of the deaf collector. "NOW ask him where the money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"

The deaf man signs in reply, "The $50,000 is in Central Park, hidden in the third tree stump on the left from the West 78th Street gate."

The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger." (Mikey's Funnies)

COMMUNICATION, IMPORTANCE OF

Reasons for Marriage – Joke

Date: 6/2006.101

9/27/2009 DCFC English [Life & Theology - Is there a connection?] Theology of Marriage
1001 Humorous Illustrations for Public Speaking #571
Husband to wife: How can someone so beautiful be so stupid?

Wife to Husband: God made me beautiful so you would marry me; he made me stupid so I would marry you!

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