Biloxi Blues monologue 1

High Fidelity Monologue

By Larry Shue

Don't tell me you've never seen a knife. Knife. That's a knife. Use it to cut things. Cut things. (Mimes) Like - ham. If we had some ham. Or bacon, or sump'm. I can't believe you don't -. (Looks around for help. There is none.) Or butter. If we had some butter, you could use it to spread it on - . You don't really need it. No, you don't need it. (Demonstrating.) Put it down.

Bad Uh - . (Charlie now holds a spoon.) Yeah, now that's your spoon. Use that to put sugar in your coffee, if you had some sugar, here. And you had some coffee - shoot. I don't really know why we got all these things. But your fork - man, I wish somebody else'd help you with this, 'cause I don't know anything, but - I think that your fork - your fork'd be the main thing you'd use. 'Cause you got your eggs, and you got your grits. Y'see? Eat 'em with a fork, just like we been doin'. Can - you - say - 'fork'? 'Faw-werk'? 'Faw-werk.'

Two parts. 'Faw-werk.' . . . Right. Put 'em together. 'Faw-werk' . . .Good! That was great!'

Mozart from Amadeus by Peter Schaffer

That's why opera is important, Baron. Because it's realer than any play! A dramatic poet would have to put all those thoughts down one after another just to represent this second of time. The composer can put them all down at once - and still make us hear each one of them. Astonishing device: a Vocal Quartet! ....I tell you I want to write a finale lasting half and hour! A quartet becoming a quintet becoming a sextet. On and on, wider and wider - all sounds multiplying and rising together - and the together creating a sound entierly new!

.... I bet you that's how God hears the world: millions of sounds ascending at once and mixing in His ear to become an unending music, unimaginable to us! That's our job! That's our job, we composers: to combine the inner minds of him and him and him and her and her - the thoughts of chambermaids and Court Composers - and turn the audience into God. (blows a raspberry and giggles) I'm sorry. I talk nonsense all day: it's incurable - ask Stanzerl. My tounge is stupid Baron. My heart isn't.

The Rainmaker

Starbuck:

“Now don’t ask me no questions… What do you care how I’ll do it, sister, as long as it’s done! But I’ll tell you how I’ll do it! I’ll lift this stick and take a long swipe at the sky and let down a shower of hailstones as big as cantaloupes! I’ll shout out some good old Nebraska cusswords and you turn around and there’s a lake where your corral used to be! Or I’ll sing a little tune maybe and it’ll sound so pretty and sound so sad you’ll weep and your old man will weep and the sky will get all misty-like and shed the prettiest tears you ever did see! How’ll I do it? Girl, I’ll just do it!… Sister the place I brought rain is now called Starbuck – they named it after me! Dry? I tell you, those people didn’t have enough damp to blink their eyes! So I get out my big wheel and my rolling drum and my yella hat with three feathers in it! I look up at the sky and I say: ‘Cumulus!’ I say: ‘Cumulonimbus! Nimimbululo-cumulus!’ And pretty soon – way up there – there’s a tiny cloud like the size of a mare’s tail – and then over there – there’s another cloud lookin’ like a white-wash chicken house! And then I look up and all of a sudden there’s a herd of white buffalo stampedin’ across the sky! And then, sister-of-all-good-people, down comes the rain! (Crosses to door.) Rain in buckets, rain in barrels, fillin’ the lowlands, floodin’ the gullies! And the land is green as the valley of Adam! And when I rode out of there, I looked behind me and I see the prettiest colors in the sky – green, blue, purple, gold – colors to make you cry! And me? I’m ridin’ right through the rainbow!”


You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

Charlie Brown:

“I think lunchtime is about the worst time of the day for me. Always having to sit here alone. Of course, sometimes mornings aren’t so pleasing, either…waking up and wondering if anyone would really miss me if I never got out of bed. Then, there’s the night, too – lying there and thinking about all the stupid things I’ve done during the day. And all those hours in between – when I do all those stupid things … Well, lunchtime is among the worst times for me. Well, I guessI better see what I got. (He opens bag, unwraps a sandwich, and looks inside.) Peanut Butter. (He bites and chews.) Some psychiatrists say people who eat peanut butter sandwiches are lonely. I guess they’re right. And if you’re really right the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth. (He munches quietly, idly fingering the bench.) Boy the PTA did a good job of painting these benches. (He looks off to one side.) There’s that cute little redheaded girl eating her lunch over there. I wonder what she’d do if I went over and asked her if I could sit and have lunch with her. She’d probably laugh right in my face. It’s hard on a face when it gets laughed in. There’s an empty place next to her on the bench. There’s no reason why I couldn’t just go over there and sit there. I could do that right now. All I have to do is stand up. (He stands.) I’m standing up. (He sits.) I’m sitting down. I’m a coward. I’m so much a coward she wouldn’t even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can’t remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn’t she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn’t look at me? IS she so great and I’m so small that she couldn’t spare one little moment just to…(He freezes.) She’s looking at me. (In terror, he looks one way, then another.) She’s looking at me. (His head looks all around frantically trying to find something to notice.)”


Ordinary People

Conrad:

(Explosively) It’s not an old turkey. I locked myself in the bathroom to do it. (The lights begin to turn a bluish color.) I locked myself in the bathroom… and I sat down on the floor…it’s cold. The tiles are so damn cold. I’m holding the blade…an accident, you know. I’m cut. Inside, I’m burning up. Outside, all I can feel is the cold tile. And my chest feels so tight…it hurts, everything hurts…so I hold out my hand and close my eyes… and I slice, one quick cut, deep cut. And then I switch – can you believe that – right away I switch and pull the blade again. (He breathes heavily and rocks slightly, back and forth, as he tries to compose himself enough to go on.) And then I stop. And I open my eyes…and there it is…Oh, God, I’m thinking this place is full of blood. It’s everywhere, spilling all over her good towels and the walls, the floor, everywhere. I feel sick to my stomach. All of a sudden everything going around…and I know downstairs in the den…watching television…they don’t know anything. (He hunches his shoulders and lowers his head. He cries softly for a moment, then calms himself.) I feel so bad…that they don’t know…that they’re gonna come upstairs…and find this…this mess!”

Our Town

George:

“Emily, I’m glad you spoke to me about that – that fault in my character. What you said was right; but there was one thing wrong with it. That’s where you said I wasn’t noticing – people – and you, for instance – why, you say you were watchin’ me when I did everything – Why, I was doing the same about you all the time. Why, sure – I always thought of you as one of the chief people I thought about. I always made sure where you were sitting on the bleachers, and who you were talking with, and for three days now I’ve tried to walk home with you; but something always got in the way. Yesterday, I was standing over by the wall waiting for you, and you walked home with Miss Corcoran.

(His head down. Squirming.) Emily, if I do improve, and make a big change, - would you be – I mean, could you be?”

Ronnie:

The doorbell rang. And then my father calls out: ‘Ronnie, guess who? Billy, we named him after your father. Ronnie, guess who?’

I picked up my bag and said goodbye to myself in the mirror. Came out. Billy there. Smiling.

It suddenly dawned on me. You had to do things to get parts. I began dancing. Immediately. Things I have never done in my life – before or since. I stood on my head and skipped and whirled (He does a cartwheel.) spectacular leaps into the air so I could see veins in the ceiling and began laughing and crying soft and loud to show all my emotions. And I heard music and drums that I couldn’t keep up with. And then cut off my emotions just like that. Instantly. And took a deep bow like the Dying Swan I saw on Ed Sullivan. I picked up my suitcase and waited at the door.

Billy turned to my parents, whose jaws were down to about there, and Billy said, ‘You never told me I had an idiot for a godchild,’ and I picked up my bag and went to my room and shut the door and never came out the whole time he was here.

My only triumph was he could never find a Huckleberry Finn. Another company made the picture a few years later, but it flopped.”

I'm sorry to have to say it to your face, Lucy, but it's true. You're a very crabby person. I know your crabbiness has probably become so natural to you now that you're not even aware when you're being crabby, but it's true just the same. You're a very crabby person and you're crabby to just about everyone you meet. Now I hope you don't mind my saying this, Lucy, and I hope you're take it in the spirit that it's meant. I think we should be very open to any opportunity to learn more about ourselves. I think Socrates was very right when he said that one of the first rules for anyone in life is 'Know Thyself'. Well, I guess I've said about enough. I hope I haven't offended you or anything.(awkward exit)

When I was a lad of eighteen, our King died in London and left no one to succeed him; only a sword stuck through an anvil which stood on a stone. Written on it in letters of gold it said: "Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is rightwise King bom of all England." Many chaps tried to dislodge it, and none could. Finally a great tournament was proclaimed for New Year's Day, so that all the mightiest knights in England would be assembled at one time to have a go at the sword.

I went to London as squire to my cousin, Sir Kay. The morning of the tournament, Kay discovered he'd left his sword at home and gave me a shilling to ride back to fetch it. On my way through London, I passed a square and saw there a sword rising from a stone. Not thinking very quickly, I thought it was a war memorial. The square was deserted, so I decided to save myself a journey and borrow it. I tried to pull it out. I failed. I tried again. I failed again. Then I closed my eyes and with all my force tried one last time. Lo, it moved in my hand. Then slowly it slid out of the stone. I heard a great roar. When I opened my eyes, the square was filled with people shouting: "Long live the King! Long live the King!" Then I looked at the sword and saw the blade gleaming with letters of gold.

That's how I became King. I never knew I would be. I never wanted to be. And since I am, I have been ill at ease in my crown. Until I dropped from the tree and my eye beheld you. Then suddenly, for the first time, I felt I was King. I was glad to be King. And most astonishing of all, I wanted to be the wisest, most heroic, most splendid Kiilg who ever sat on any throne. (There is a moment of silence) If you will come with me, Milady, I will arrange for the carriage to return you to your father.

(They sit quietly, looking up out toward the street.) I mean, I was just walking down the street and they came up on me like they was important, and they start pushing me around, you know. And they pushed me into this alley, not an alley, but this hallway and back down the end of that to this dark place at the end of the hallway and they start punching at me, and I just fell into this ball on the floor so they couldn’t hurt me or nothing. But if I came down there with a couple of fighters, a couple of guys, like my friends, it wouldn’t have to be you or anything, but just a couple or three guys, big guys, like walking down the street, you know. Just so they could see I got these buddies here. See I’m on H, I mean, I’m flying and I gotta talk man, but I’m serious now; just a few guys and they’d leave me be, maybe, because they’d think I had these buddies that looked after me, you know; cause I – you know – they kicked me up, if I wasn’t on H, man, they’d be pains all through me – you know – walking down the street by myself – I start looking around and wondering who’s out there gonna mess me up, you know. I get scared as hell, man, walking down around here, I mean, I can’t protect myself or nothing, man. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know? I mean if I had these couple – of big buddies – fighters – you – you know – if I had a couple of guys – like – big guys – that - you know, there’s like nothing – I could – like, if you walked around with these buddies, I mean you could do, man – you could do anything . . .

My lady, my master has sent me to present to you a missive, (seeing her confusion) it is a sort of letter. My master worned me to give it only into your hand (seeing her problem). No I can't read either. But my master, foreseeing such a possibility, recited it to me so I could commit it to heart. It is no dishonor My Lady, as he explained it, noblewomen are so busy with their needlework. Embroidering banners for their knights. He said they had no time for study. I know, I don't understand it either but I can tell you from experience that knights have their own language for everything, and it's better not to ask questions because it only gets you into trouble.