1. One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for sometime, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Alex." "Good morning pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor McGhee, what is this?" Alex asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who have died in the service."
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which one, the 9:00 or the 10:30 service?"
Pastor: noun [C] a leader of a Christian group or church, especially one which is Protestant
Foyer: noun [C] 1a large open area just inside the entrance of a public building such as a theatre or a hotel, where people can wait and meet each other: I'll see you downstairs in the foyer in half an hour.
2US (UKhall) the room in a house or apartment leading from the front door to other rooms, where items like coats and hats are kept
seriously and reasonably: She was dressed very soberly in a plain grey suit.
2. A couple were vacationing in Yosemite. The wife expressed her concern about camping because of bears and said she would feel more comfortable in a motel. The husband said that he'd like to camp and to calm her concerns, they'd talk to the park ranger to see what the likelihood of a bear encounter would be.
The ranger told them, "Well, we haven't seen any grizzlies in this area so far this year, or black bears, for that matter."
The wife shrieked, "There's TWO types of bears out here? How can you tell the difference? Which one is more dangerous?"
The ranger replied, "Well, that's easy, see, if the bear chases you up the tree and it comes up after you, it's a BLACK bear. If it SHAKES the tree until you fall out, it's a grizzly."
The motel room was quite nice.
Ranger: noun [C] a person whose job is to protect a forest or natural park: a forest ranger
Grizzly: noun [C] a very large greyish brown bear from North America and Canada
(from Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary)
3. Clyde, a farmer in Alabama, decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court.
In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Clyde.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you or did you not say 'I'm fine' at the scene of the accident?"
Clyde said, "Well, yes, but I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie."
Fraud: noun [C] someone or something that deceives people by claiming to be someone or something that they are not: She was a psychic who was later revealed to be a fraud.