Planet Debate Sports Participation Update

Parents insult their own kids when they participate in sports

Jenni Spies, 3006, Jenni Spies is a third-year law student graduating in May 2006 from Marquette University Law School. In addition to a J.D., the author will earn a Certificate in Sports Law from the National Sports Law Institute upon graduation. She received her Bachelor of Science in Sport Management from Ithaca College in 2002, Sports Lawyers Journal, Spring 2006, "Only Orphans Should Be Allowed To Play Little League":* How Parents Are Ruining Organized Youth Sports for Their Children and What Can Be Done About It, p. 281-2

Second, common sense tells us that most children look up to their parents for approval and reinforcement, and when this reinforcement is not provided, it can have a huge impact on the child's self-esteem. In fact, some researchers tell parents and coaches that in order to create positive outcomes and skill development in children, the best thing to do is to encourage even small skill improvements and to reassure them that "mistakes are a natural part of learning." In the context of sports, many parents attack rather than praise their child's athletic skills, and the problem is so prevalent that the National Youth Sports Safety Foundation (NYSSF) promoted awareness of the problem as the centerpiece of its National Youth Sports Safety Month in April 2001. Included as examples of emotional abuse in sports were behaviors that parents might not necessarily associate with typical child abuse: "Forcing a child to participate in sports. Not speaking to a child after he/she plays poorly in the game or at practice. Asking your child why he/she played poorly when it meant so much to you. Criticizing and/or ridiculing a child for his/her sports performance." What is particularly shocking is the large percentage of children who have been emotionally abused by their parents in the context of youth sports. In a 1993 survey by the Minnesota Amateur Sports Commission, 45.3% of children surveyed said that their parents had called them names, yelled at them, or insulted them while participating in organized sports.

Sports parents act out violently against other parents

Jenni Spies, 3006, Jenni Spies is a third-year law student graduating in May 2006 from Marquette University Law School. In addition to a J.D., the author will earn a Certificate in Sports Law from the National Sports Law Institute upon graduation. She received her Bachelor of Science in Sport Management from Ithaca College in 2002, Sports Lawyers Journal, Spring 2006, "Only Orphans Should Be Allowed To Play Little League": How Parents Are Ruining Organized Youth Sports for Their Children and What Can Be Done About It, p. 283-4

Lastly, in addition to violent or abusive acts directed at children, parents can harm their children by acting violently towards other adults or participants. Sports rage is compared to other recent rages, such as road rage or air rage, and is used to describe situations where otherwise rational parents or coaches act out violently or abusively while attending youth sporting events. The most heinous example is probably the "hockey dad murder" case in Massachusetts. In July 2000, Thomas Junta beat Michael Costin to death after a disagreement over how Costin was handling an informal hockey practice for the young sons of both men. Further incidents of sports rage, besides the Junta case, include a man who gave poisoned juice to a young boy on his son's youth football team because that boy had picked on his son; a soccer mom who hit a fifteen-year-old official over a call at her son's game; and three coaches who beat the coach of the opposing team with a baseball bat during an All-Star Little League game.

Sports expose children to violence and humiliation

Jenni Spies, 3006, Jenni Spies is a third-year law student graduating in May 2006 from Marquette University Law School. In addition to a J.D., the author will earn a Certificate in Sports Law from the National Sports Law Institute upon graduation. She received her Bachelor of Science in Sport Management from Ithaca College in 2002, Sports Lawyers Journal, Spring 2006, "Only Orphans Should Be Allowed To Play Little League": How Parents Are Ruining Organized Youth Sports for Their Children and What Can Be Done About It, p. 284

The effects of sports rage are two-fold on the children of the perpetrators; not only does it expose children to violence, but it can also be very humiliating for a child to see his or her parent act in such an immature manner in front of the child's peers. First, while no specific studies have been done concerning exposure to parental sports rage, researchers have conducted numerous studies regarding exposing children to violence, particularly in the form of violent television shows and video games. These studies show that children who are repeatedly exposed to television or video game violence show characteristics "associated with a desensitization to violent behavior; less trust, increased fearfulness, and decreased empathy when dealing with others; and a disinhibition of aggression for some youth." Second, children are usually humiliated by nearly anything their parents do, but violent acts of aggression towards others, especially those resulting in police involvement, can be particularly humiliating to children. No child wants to see, nor should have to see, his parent being taken away in handcuffs during an event that is supposed to be about the child.

In addition to all of the negative effects on child development, overinvolvement by parents in youth sports can potentially deprive children of the benefits of organized sports leagues. In particular, an overemphasis is placed upon winning. When children get together to play in what experts call "peer-group" sports, these children develop a style of play that is very different from "adult-organized" sports. During "peer-group" sports, the emphasis is not on winning, but rather on overall enjoyment of all participants. It is not until parents get involved that winning becomes a priority, and as winning becomes a priority, some children will fall by the wayside. Coaches and parents who focus only on winning are willing to let less talented children "ride the bench" so that the team can win. As a result, children who never have an opportunity to play lose interest in the game quickly and are essentially "forced" out of the sport.

Overall, the vast majority of youth sporting abuse is not so violent or offensive to our society that any social services are willing to get involved, but there are still major problems in an area that is supposed to be child-friendly. The structure of the organization and the approach of many parents and coaches are creating an atmosphere where children are being deprived of a potentially wonderful experience because of selfish adult-oriented interests.

Parents get into brawls at sporting competitions

Douglas E. Abrams, 2002, Associate Professor of Law, University of Missouri-Columbia School of Law, ARTICLE: THE CHALLENGE FACING PARENTS AND COACHES IN YOUTH SPORTS: ASSURING CHILDREN FUN AND EQUAL OPPORTUNITY, Villanova Sports and Entertainment Law Journal, p. 258-9

Many parents and coaches are failing miserably at this challenge. Psychologists have begun speaking about "youth sports rage" as fistfights and other physical and verbal confrontations involving parents and coaches have disrupted youth leagues, frequently brought under control only by police intervention and actual or threatened criminal prosecution. Brawling parents have even disrupted preschoolers' T-ball games. In one such brawl precipitated by a dispute over an umpire's call, more than twenty parents and coaches spilled onto the field, swinging punches and tackling each other while bewildered children looked on. Interviewed afterwards, some of the five-year-old T-ballers said they actually thought the adults were entertaining them by staging a wrestling match.

Most victims of adult youth sports violence have emerged only with hurt feelings, cuts and bruises, or an occasional broken nose or split lip. After an informal Massachusetts youth hockey scrimmage in July of 2000, however, one player's father beat an opposing player's father senseless while the ten-year-olds watched in horror. Ironically enough, the attacker was enraged about rough play during the scrimmage. The victim, a forty-year old father of four, lapsed into a coma and died after being removed from life support.

Youth-league referees and umpires now often deserve hazard pay. Two years ago, a forty-six year-old Wisconsin Little League coach made headlines for punching a sixty-year-old umpire who refused to call a balk on an eleven-year-old pitcher. Now press reports of so-called "referee rage" appear almost daily. Parents and coaches have punched, kicked, shoved, slapped, choked, head-butted, spat on and stalked youth-league officials during and after games. Parents and coaches have spewn obscenities, made officials run a gauntlet to leave the field, followed officials to their cars, destroyed their property and leveled threats against them and their families.

The risk of physical injury to youth-league officials has become so great that some have begun carrying cell phones on the field for quick calls to the police. One official arrives early to his assigned games so he can park close to the exit and tell security guards in advance the section of the field from which he will leave; then he removes his whistle immediately when the game ends so no irate parent or coach can grab it and try to choke him. To provide a measure of protection, the National Association of Sports Officials ("NASO") now offers assault insurance to youth-league officials. The NASO also offers "When They're In Your Face and How to Deal With It," a thirty-two page primer advising referees and umpires about how to manage confrontations with physically or verbally abusive parents and coaches.

Small wonder that many youth sports programs lack qualified referees and umpires because they cannot find enough adults willing to endure abuse from parents and coaches. As one NASO official explained, "it's not worth risking your life for $ 50 a game." With the supply of adult officials dwindling throughout the nation, programs have been forced to rely on teenagers, many of whom quit once they or their parents begin fearing for their safety at the hands of other parents. In fact, teenage officials often bear the brunt of the abuse because parents and coaches see them as easy targets and think they can get away with it.