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- Burdene River and Mount Shasta Poem
08.07.01 Dunsmuir, CA Samuel drove out from Tennessee in two long days on the road— a solo trip with not much going on but burning concrete highways and the cornfields of the Midwest. Amia and I tossed our packs and my tent into his trunk and left the truck in Boulder. We came across this blessed little shack with the Burdene River rushing down along through the valley below. The timber is thick here around this old town, mostly resided by simpley kind, old, gray hippies, maybe out of San Fran before it swelled with newcomers and tourists and Fortune 500 corporation Robots—
above covered in needle pine— Blue graffito Union Pacific freight train grinding and steaming through the trees along the water hauling garbage to the landfill that contaminates Mother Earth— and my sleep. Naked swimmers up stream on the rocks hugging and touching bare bottoms and kissing in the shade. Idiot Wind playing loud acoustic guitar coming down through the trees bouncing off river rocks slick and oily tadpole reflections— music from the road above.
wet from Pacific rains up to Oregon redwoods surrounding new campfires at dawn.
writing letters across country with black and white photographs from Japan and hand scribed captions in the gutter— Middle aged hipster writing circles around the globe, chanting in open market isles, writing yellow cab big city mantras for coast to coast right minded highway ramblers bathing in the rivers, praying to the trees where God and existence become the same, and the dirt sticks to my feet, like castaway bandit stowedaway in the sun. howdy stranger,
g whats new sauce? not much going on here, started slingin pizza pies today as a result of not being able to find a more challenging job... put the place here up for rent, as soon as it goes, we'll be moving back to missoula. its been on the market for only about a week now, had one interested party, but no follow through, i guess. i hope it doesnt take too long to get someone in here. i've never had to deal with this angle, but i just put up a sign out on the busy street out there....we'll see who bites... whats up with you these days? hows IL? CO's getting into winter. we went hiking wednesday up some wicked river mountain trail and had some sub sandwiches at Lost Lake. now im going to get a big raft for rivers and lakes along side the campsite. what are the plans for the holidays? we should be here (rent situation pending) for thanxgiving, but i will be in chitown for christmas then probably have some company for new years. wanna ski in the new year? let me know whats up when you can, hope things are good. tell jonny hey. Hello,
yeah, came to boulder for MFA at naropa, but naropa turned out to be less than what i thought. its a lot of info, ill tell you later, basically though the writing department and the instructors there are great. they are the equivalent to the painting instructors at the art institute, meaning you couldnt do much better finding a teacher. but, their studio arts are almost non-existent and silly, plus there is no real teaching school there. UNLIKE, the university of montana, back up in good old missoula. i should have went there, but if i did, and didnt try out naropa, id surely right now be up in montana saying to myself, "i got into naropa MFA, maybe i should have went there." but now i know. plus naropa is the most expensive education ive come across in a while. more than SAIC, but i dropped the classes before add/drop cutoff. hehe. so im thinking of going back to montana to finish graduate work there at the university, once establishing residencey. they have graduate teaching positions, instructing undergraduate courses, with much lowered tuition and a stipend. maybe get a full time teaching job there after graduating. plus, its montana. and i wont have to think about breathing Jiihad crop dusters full of lab experiements.
im actually pretty homesick for chicago these days. sometimes i think about going back there to stay for a while in case something happens there, or here. just to be with my family. but i guess a possibility of something happening is not a very strong reason for changing a lot of things. but im good at changing a lot of things and doing it efficiently--i guess i've had a lot of practice, thats just been the way i live, only i have to consider Amia Diorio as well now, and i dont think-- i know she doesnt really want to go back to chicago. i got into a co-op gallery in Portland this weekend and went to see and talk to the director yesterday. it was wicker park gallery, next to big old bar and music venue in a neighborhood. just moved to Portland. this made me even more homesick. who knows. take care, i think the snows on its way.
well, im off to refresh my cup. let me know whats up. ill be on here for a while looking for a real job. g Dear Maam, I will forward your letter to the stated author of your site in question. I am sure he will be most happy to hear from such a concerned citizen. As for the paintings done in 2001, there have been several. The hitch in the whole affair is that the painter of these works had not a color scanner to digitize the photos. I talked to him the other day and he said he may resort to hitting up the local kinkos branch for this small but important project as soon as he gets a spare hour. So, there will soon be six new paintings for 2001, and a couple older works that have not been scanned as of yet that will be included in their respective years on the site. In addition, there will be fresh additions to the photoVault as well, including new states and photos from them. Lastly, we here at rms have received your payment for the new book Say No More and would like to thank you personally. It is not often we receive money from hot, young professionals living in the south. We anticipated an earlier arrival of the book from the printers. Your book will be mailed out as soon as it comes in. We hope this will be less than one week. We appreciate your patience in this matter. The delay is in relation to the quality of our product. Love and kisses, the staff at rms
got beers to drink so more later. boulder sucks. dont ever think of moving here. hehe.
g Hey Man, whats going on? long time... i havent been in chicago since july for a few days for my sisters wedding. before that was the last time we hung out at a 1633 opening. i moved to boulder for an MFA program, but it ended up sucking pretty much so now im trying to rent this place im in a lease for to get out of boulder. ive been trying to make a little cash at some lame ass job. but been painting tons, started some new landscapes and still lifes here in the studio. also, got a book of poems coming out soon. ill let you know. maybe coming back to chicago... whats up with you. are you still at 1633? i wrote montana a letter a few weeks ago, but no response. any word on how she's doing? let me know when you get this. tell me que pasa. more later, g
the address here is 2990 Glenwood Drive #101 Boulder, CO 80301 im off to deliver pizzas for the second to last time so i wont get to your story until later tonight or early in the morning. i have to leave now, otherwise id do it right away. lately i've been painting as often as possible. which is lovingly about every other day, except for thurs-sat, then its everyday. the printers are finishing the book so they've been calling everyday with finalizing questions like do i want the price in the barcode, whats the correct pantone blue for the cover type, etc. the folks there are super nice and helpful and seem to more often than not have their heads on straight, so its been a continually educational and relatively exciting experience... for the first time. now i know how this process goes. more tomorrow. g Chas, good to hear from you amigo... i was just telling Amia Diorio my girlfriend about some of the gallery 1633 opening capers... much of the stories included you and a crazy mob in that little gallery, and always wine and/or some other such things... anyway, sounds like things are going well for you. i need to get a real job soon as well. i have a few prospects out there now..so hopefully one will come to papa soon. as for the book, you can order it online at my website, its mainly poetry written over the past five years on my travels across this wild country of ours. im working on book 2 now. i will send out an announcement when i have it ready to go, it should be about another week till i can mail any out... but you should order it soon to reserver your copy! they will go fast. (but of course!) im digging those landscapes im seeing one your site. ill put up some fresh stuff soon, just need to motivate myself to sit in front of a scanner... more later, going to paint. g M,
2. i also like the funeral/wake for the reason for the trip. (driving in the car: KEEP THIS FOR SURE) it works well as the seemingly fundamental plot, but upon further reading evolves as a secondary "scene" after i start to understand the relationship between the brothers (which becomes my main focus), and their involvement and opinions on the war idea and any other issues they share. part of what i am saying is that i like reading the dialog between them. i like them. i want to know more of their ideas, even if some seem random at first. my reason for reading "The Wake" (after getting into it) is to know these two brothers more and more. I think it is important to develope a few major characters as far as the corpse, and some effected family members, but too many of these family members, and bouncing from one to another, only faintly introducing them, just left me uninterested in them, and sort of "confused" in a way: with all the names, and so-and-so's daughter, etc... i think you should keep a few important "relatives", develope them (if they are important to the brothers mom's relationship deterioration with them -- another small conflict they discuss, and with the mom at times), and leave the funeral/wake scene at that. referring to it later, if necessary for plot reasons and continuity. 3. the flashback scene in the hotel room is great, and raw. i think it would be great "proof" of the sort of strange family relationship if it was made more prevalent earlier on (maybe when they are driving to the funeral) that their are "problems" with seeing these family members and that the boys are sort of anticipating what will happen "this time"... 4. THIS IS EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT, THE BEST PART OF THE WHOLE THING: read this part over and see what i mean about this ongoing but very important dialog between the two of them. its almost like you had a tape recorder during just some random almost casual conversation between two brothers.. in fact, i was thinking what if you did that, just get a small tape recorder always on you and click record when you start talking to people in your family (dont let anyone know you are doing it or it WILL NOT WORK). your brother, dad, mom, sisters, brother in law, whoever. (try to forget its on and just get those dialogs recorded and then TYPE THEM INTO THE STORY. this "REAL" dialog is the best part of all of your writing, unfortunately and ironically, i think it is the most difficult thing to recreate. so, if you had some on tape (and you could fill pages and pages with this) you wouldnt HAVE TO RECREATE. it would just be there for you. ive typed out so many things while being drunk and then read them later and just howled at how simple and wonderful they read. i mean this: could you imagine how great (i think) it would be to have manuscripts of all the conversations we've had, and just get to rummage through them all, piecing them together however you see most fit? i think it would lead to some damn interesting reading. all with a bit of an underlying, but not pushy "moral to the story" or just some "meaning" for the reader... its this contemporary american idiom that attracts me to so many poets and writers, namely and most importantly kerouac (BIG SUR) and ginsy (too many to mention, but check out AMERICA) and this is how i love to write my poems (BOULDER POEM COLORAD-A, etc.). its excellent and fulfilling to write, and even better to read. * "Thank God, I need the hour." Emmett felt the strange look of his brother on his face. "What? Think about it, man. Fall goes ahead... (ALL THE WAY TO:) ...Emmett reached in the backseat and grabbed another water, opening it carefully. He took a deliberate suckling sip and recapped the bottle. *i love this part and had a great time reading it. more conversations like this and this story is on its way, man.
"The priest concluded.... as it fell to the feet of the feeble priest." I just didnt know if that needed to be there or not... 6. other issues that may come up persuing the main conflict (between family bonds (the strongest relationship) and the idea of 'nature' or 'natural events' taking their toll on this relationship.): a. random person begging for money at gas station along the way??? b. what kiernan's reasons are for being in the reserves, if other than money for school, etc...??? let me know if i should reword any of this for clarity sake. like i said (and yourself), with developement, this will rock. if i could read just all rolling dialog with a few transitions between these two brothers, i would love it. alrightly, sailor, ill let you work. more soon, g
and i know they dont. and i know they wont. (you see how the 'w' is longer than the 'd'?) -------------- i havent even heard (obviously) the Sir Matt & Daddyo Tape: take one, but am already diggin it. i cant wait for it, and already have a recorder for "come back"... (10-4, good buddy. come back.) i say utilize that medium to it's fullest, for a first and second try at least, prioritize and foregoe the setbacks, 'act as if you're drunk' (one 'instructor' toldst ta me)... and pull back on none o' the reigns. etcetera, etcetera. once i said i am an oportunist, then, later, i said to myself, i am a buddhist, and now, if there was a burrito mixed of the two, that would be i. this recorder i used way the hell out in california, hot at the wheel, on the big sur coast for a time, howling into it on the run like some moonlight runnaway stowaway convict soaring away and wild-haired in the night, not knowing where i was'a going, but ended up later with two books of manuscript typed out and amazed... reaching all the radios and old-town ten pound metal hammer-typewriters for miles around. electrifying as it goes. it works... feels a bit funny at first like your some looney sidewalk man rambling to yourself on and on... but then again, when doesnt? hehe. you know what to do. send me another draft soon. im working on a poem im proud to entitle this: "ain't no hippy days" someone's gettin a good lickin'... more soon, g
anyway, i dont know what to do about Amia Diorios deal. if we didnt live together i would say i want her to go away for a while. i wish i could do that. i dont think i want to be with her, or anyone for that matter who is THAT irresponsible. jesus, come on. i think she gets off work at 6 so i wont be here. i dont really want to just end it like that. i like her a lot, and i get 'that' stomache ache thinking about doing that. but what the hell else can i do. sauce,
things are on the mend with saucey #2. ive come to the conclusion that she meant no ill-intent by what she did. we've been discussing it quite a bit as you can imagine. she fucked up and knows it. and if she wasnt aware of it to begin with, she is now. i talked to mom about it for a while. she seemed to be urging me to give her a break, "people do things even they cant explain". no more pizza delivery guy for me. g
next thing you know mtv will be attempting to book me with that crack child b.spears wooing the saucey-but-tapped-out-and-mostly-already-prematurely-jaded-except-rap-and-such pepsi generation. (although "jaded" for reasons even the smartest of them don't know.) if you get a chance to treat yourself to a growler or maybe just a bomb of left hand's xxxmas ale, do it. i shit you not, you'll be-ist happy you did. have a friend over. and if not, than hell, ill throw in a .5 gallon of the great pumpkin from those stool pushers down at kettle house if i get into town soon. and no, i didnt forget about that place, in fact, i talked to 'old boss' today and she informed me no positions open as of late. 'but come in, definitely, and reaquaint yourself, drop me off your updated resume', she says... blah blah on and on suck it, i told her, suck it long, and suck it hard. (just kidding, seen Trebeck on SNL??? jesus, i hope so) anyway, enough of the rattling on. im hoping to be in msla by early dec than perhaps a quick jaunt into chicago to visit mi familia for christmas. i miss them all. will you be staying there for a while? let me know... in the meantime maybe you'd dig on this (its still in the works i imagine): Some Folks Some folks have called me "hippie", but ain't no hippie—ain't no hippie days. Hippie is a word made for American social movement, the LSD counter-culture in the nineteen-sixties transformed and born outta Beat literary movement cracking in the late 1940's NYC or Tangier, Morocco, set out simple, and left that way in the angel dust. Hippie is a word for American political movement, anti-Vietnam when Vietnam went bad, and thousands of American kids decimated by VC bullets, bashed in the head, or falling on six-foot knife-sharpened bamboo shoots down in the ditch, buried in the dirt. That's when things got serious. Ain't no hippie. Hippie's just a word. You gotta smoke marijuana, I guess, and live in Oregon, say you live in Oregon and pay high price ski-lift tickets and rent, or live in the mountains for social acceptance or California near the coast, I do neither. Ain't no hippie. Hippie's just a word. My parents weren't hippies, my father was an officer in the United States Navy—skinny, bearded, figuring mathematical equations in the engineer rooms below the main deck on a carrier around the world and off the coast of Vietnam, the USS Yorktown was his home out at sea, fighter planes racing off the decks above and I saw this ship and climbed aboard looking through portholes, hiding in bunks, thirteen-years-old off the coast of Florida. My parents weren't hippies, my mother is the only Electro-Encephalographic technician I have ever known. She doesn't smoke or drink and fills up her old van with flea market furniture, hand made antique dolls and worn out turn-of-the-century butter churns, she hanged a sign in the garage says "hippies use side door" in pungent black antediluvian letters, so she ain't no hippie. My pickup truck might be a hippie. It has stickers all over it, all over the back camper shell where I sleep, just off from the campfire, just off from where the rain leaks in, thinking of the war and wondering what comes next. Hippies sleep in their cars, I camp under the stars. Ain't no hippie, hippie's just a word. My neighbor in Boulder is working on being a hippie. He has long hair and rides his bike all over the place, sporting his shiny white aerodynamic helmet complete with hairbrush ponytail squirming out the back. He's pretty much a selfish dick, and hippies are supposed to be kind and gentle, I guess from all that pot. This guy's not too kind, and needs to unwind—a bit more before he becomes a hippie. He says he likes Volkswagen buses, though, so I think he's getting closer. Me, on the other hand, those buses don't run well and they break down in Montana winters and way up in the Yaak where no one lives near. Me, on the other hand, I ain't no hippie, hippie's just a word. i am working toward a 20-"ish" pg poem done in prosody, of some events taken place this summer on the road. it should be part of "the string cheese diaries". should call it "for a time at the wheel" or something along those lines. hows the story going? how is that story going?... anyhow, hows everything else going? i think we're in a serious nat'l economic recession and im trying to decide where to go at the end of this month. lease is up. montana/idaho: paint and write, hope for a job.. or chicago paint and write....(hope for a job) im thinking this is a good time to settle down and get my MFA during this recession since i cant seem to find a "real" job doing graphics.... what are your plans?.. g
fish fish the sunshine is singing silent." (i told you earlier this was entitled "aint no hippy days") may be headed up to Idaho. or back to montana. if neither one of those, i have had a few job leads in chicago that i wouldnt mind taking. one of the three i guess. i was going to head down to new mexico and wait out the recession painting everyday, but i dont know if i want to go back to that level of poverty right now. who's this erin z.? should i know of her? let me know whats up. two weeks left in boulder and we're gone. i have several holes deep in my mouth from the extraction of all four wisdoms. i was awake for the whole thing. damn, that was cool. i could hear the tendons ripping apart as the dentist wiggled them out with these big ass plyer-tools. whooo ey. g
i cant brush too well yet, and i like to talk to Amia Diorio up close especially in the morning right after i wake up. hehe. just kidding. i got some percocet pills to kill the pain and they work for my mouth but i hurled yesterday after drinking down a fruit smoothie Amia Diorio blended. that felt good. it looked the same in the toilet. the pills make me feel sick so ive just been sleeping a lot and reading All Souls laying on the floor. i was awake for the whole thing and i could hear the tendons and whatever else ripping and snapping as the dentist wiggled and pulled out all four teeth. then i heard him drop them each on the stainless steel tray: clink. clink. clink. clink. the bottom two were stubborn and he had to go get some heavy duty tools for those. now im just whipped out. i was going to save the teeth, thats what i planned on doing but by the time the guy was finished, i had forgotten to ask. im sure they tossed them out by now. it would have been cool to see them though. from what i could see while they were still in my mouth, they looked pretty gross and needed to come out. i guess the gums and sides of my mouth were too close and they werent getting cleaned very well. i wouldnt worry about that hr guy calling and you not being there, for all they know you didnt answer the phone because you were busy. which is true and they have no way of knowing if you were interviewing with another company or watching the simpsons. wheres the job? i started another book by rick bass about northern montana. it rocks so far and is making me want to go back. dont worry, the only thing i mix these pain killers with is scrambled eggs and mashed potatoes. sure, that sounds cool. (book mark thing) well i just found out about a part time graphics job up near glacier nat'l park in montana (the hungry horse news) so i talked to the guy this morning and faxed him the res. i guess we'll see what happens on that. this would be cool because then i could be working a decent job while getting residencey. otherwise, i talked to the recruiting manager lady at cold water creek in idaho again. this is the three web positions they "put on hold". she told me the positions would definitely be opening up, it just might not be until after the first of the year. so i figured maybe go up there check out idaho for a while and see if cant get one of these jobs after a couple months. and if not, than in the spring come back to chicago where the market might be turning around by then, and i can land some fat cash job. i think thats the plan for now. i havent been up that high in idaho and that part of montana is pretty much as good as it gets as far as ive seen, so why not go, i figure. as long as i can get some job and not have to be using the usaa. good luck with the interview. cant you take the metra down to tinley? thats a cake ride and leaves you with about 2 extra hours a day to read. there are lots of jack asses, but they are easily ignored. hehe.
(alexander supertramp is the alias chris mccandless went by for two years before his fateful attempt to 'live off the land' up northwest of fairbanks in the alaskan bush. "into the wild" by jon krakauer is the book. and highly recommended if you havent yet.) mexico sounds like it was a good escape. would you ever move there permanently? or should i say indefinitely? since nothing is permanent.
im stoked and a bit flattered they make your day bright. ask old bob about my story, please. see whats taking him so long. then, ill give you the new address to send copies to if its after we leave... wb today if possible. g absolutely. i have been taking prescribed percoset for the 'operation' and its taken away that pain, but made me sick a lot. then i think about the days when i wanted to take this shit for kicks, and it makes me even sicker. havent drank or smoked in a long while either. hey, sorry to hear about tony's dad back in the hospital. especially for thanksgiving. i wish we could be there too, but we'll definitely be there for christmas some time, im not sure exactly of the dates yet. we'll be leaving here nov 30 then i have to see about a possible graphics job back up in montana, and if not there, than, i talked to the recruiting manager at cold water creek in idaho and she said those jobs will definitely be opening up but not until after the first of the year. so we may be going up there and take a gamble at getting one of those jobs. its a good company as far as i can tell and they were advertising three positions i could fill, soo... good odds, at least. Amia Diorios mom and sister/husband are coming for thanksgiving wednesday. we will cook everything at the house we/Amia Diorio is housesitting and just hang out there. maybe sit in the hot tub. there is snow everywhere here now too! (a little late, i guess, but oh well) so those are the plans for now. more later, g
Boulder Oregon 80301 you cant slack though because well be outta here very shortly. (of course i know you would never think of such a thing). lets see... i have a follow up dentist appointment at 330 just to see if all is healing correctly. the pain at night is pretty bad and all i can do (aside from swallow another percocet) is think back to that cracking and ripping sound x4 that i heard on thursday as the dentist pryed them from my skull. it was kind of a chewy tearing breaking sound, like a half dried out branch that you have to hang all your body weight on and bounce a few times to separate from the main limb. i've amused myself time and again trying to imagine what that would have been like without the local anesthetic (sp?). christ. yeah, im always happy with the thought of returning to montana. which is where i will find out about this graphics job up in whitefish. if it sounds too cheap then we'll head over to sandpoint. i havent been there but idaho may be one better (or not as i find that hard to believe) than montana. so, only one way to find out.... ill let you know. then you guys should come up for new years, far away from 'unexpected' new years eve taliban attempts. (and i say attempts because i think that chumps days are seriously numbered. one good indication: those hash smoking Northern Alliance bean poles strategically and sysematically overtaking "city" after "city", closing in with their lost-and-found soviet weapons... WOLVERINES!!) g ill be awaiting the papers what up. i just got word that my story ran in the telluride newspaper today. im having some copies sent out. ill bring some home for christmas. (that will be your present) ps Amia Diorio told me to give her sister and husband from el paso directions to the house we're having thanksgiving at, so i emailed her and gave her the directions and the address and said "park in the driveway and wait in your car untill the guard dogs are called off." hehe. there are no guard dogs, i just though it would be funny to see how long they sit there outside the house in their car. yo. yeah, this is the second story they ran. the first was the account of the near-death experience driving over the pass last december down near rico. i dont know if you remember that one. this one they just printed this month. two for two. not too bad. here is the location of the online version. be warned: they are like all other editors of all other publications and take the liberty of rearanging words (a phrase or two in here have been reworked by the lame-asses calling themselves "assistant editors") and sometimes, like now, they even make up their own titles that dont make sense... hoooooo eyy. what is this, show business? "whatever." (that's what you would say, i can hear it now.) http://www.telluridegateway.com/archive/2001_archive/110701dp.html#News3 just scroll down and you'll get to the story about 4 or so in. the hard copy is much nicer, and ill be bringing some along. it ran on page two, i was told. not too shabby. more later. g
also, the book is done and is shipping out this week! im excited for that. i've been hoping its still the plan that we can put it on the shelves at your store. (yes?) let me know... i would love that, especially if i got the job at that paper... lets see... oh, i will attach below the copy and pic of the email i have been sending out to folks. forward it on to anyone you think would be interested. right now i will have it available for purchase online at my site, at your store (i hope), and soon i will have it online at amazon.com. i am going to have it in a bunch of university libraries as well sometime this winter. i hope people buy them... i have a lot being sent to me and i dont want to pay some big company to market it either. all that shits lame. let me know if you have any ideas. maybe we can all get a beer or get dinner or something when we get up there. otherwise, ill stop by the store for sure. g here's the email: "...I’d first left home with a second hand tent and worn out backpack, several years before on a few short wanderings out west that began a process I could no longer control. I had learned the way of the road, the honesty in the road, to trust in the road...and those along it. From now on I would be a traveler...inexorable curiosity for new discovery...seeking out a place for myself which always seemed further on...always further, and at the same time, always toward home." (LT.rms.01) Download 2 Mb. Share with your friends:
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