Atlantic Seaboard Skirmish Round 8 Simply Awful Questions by Mike Bentley, Casey Reterrer, Brittany Clark and Jonathan Magin This packet features the absolute worst of every genre

1) One critic of them called them “wankish and juvenile” while another critic compared them to a widely disparaged reference to Kellenberg Memorial High School. One of the better received ones began by describing an object also known as “I Zwicky 24”, and was more amusing than a later one that discussed the winners of a 1996 event at the University of Tennessee. Both the first and last ones asked for the name of a former player for Athens State, Lee Henry, while players at the UMD mirror of the Gottfried Keller tournament became visibly angry at ones requiring answers like “Georgia Tech” or “the TRASH survey”. FTP, this tossup is an example of what type of question requiring knowledge of the personalities of and events in quizbowl?

2) The first team to win this game defeated Winthrop, while the second team to win it defeated Alcorn State. Played at the University of Dayton Arena, it was created to account for the newly created Mountain West conference, and has been criticized as discriminatory by the Black Coaches Association, since at least one HBCU has played in it five of the six years since its inception. Last year, that HBCU was Hampton, who lost 71 to 49 to Monmouth, causing Monmouth to play Villanova in the next round, as its winner advances to play the top-ranked first seed. FTP, name this game played between the 64th and 65th seeds of the NCAA Tournament.

3) He had a cameo in the film ‘’Pauly Shore is Dead’’ and appeared as the groom in 98 Degree’s video “I Do (Cherish You)”. A parody site set up by YTMND’s creator Max Goldberg lists him as a “famous superstar and sex symbol”, and he declared bankruptcy in 2000 after the last version of the series that made him famous was canceled. His standup mainly consists of him talking about his penis, an appendage that is notably absent from most of his probably staged 2006 sex tape. FTP, identify this actor most famous for playing Samuel Powers on Saved By The Bell, a character better known as Screech.

4) The phrase most associated with it becomes “turn me on, dead man” when played backwards, and other clues in it briefly gave credence to a rumored cover-up. It claims to be an attempt to capture the tumultuousness of the title event, and its repeated refrain, coming in five eighths time, was sampled from a take on a previously recorded song. The B Sharps put out a parody of this song, with Barney belching in between a Japanese woman saying the title number, one less than the original. FTP, identify this bizarre avant garde musical collage that appears on the second disc of The Beatle’s White Album.

5) It shares its name with a worldwide 1966 Sonny and Cher song, and only time will help us forget it too. This movie obtained the dubious record of being the fastest film to date to reach the Bottom 100 movies list at IMDB. It featured a wealth of jokes involving getting hit in the crotch, and Linden Porco, the actor used to play the title character, had his skin painted to match the skin tone of the actor whose face was superimposed on him. FTP, identify this 2006 movie where Calvin Sims learns the meaning of family after a jewel robbery goes bad, a Wayans Brothers movie about the world’s smallest criminal.

6) It originated as a service for downloading Atari 2600 games called Gameline, under the company name Control Video Corporation. More recently, it has purchased a multitude of companies, including Mirabilis and Nullsoft, to add features to its brand, but perhaps its biggest acquisition was buying Netscape in 1999. Undergoing a disastrous merger in 2001 is, FTP, this company, formerly headed by Steve Case that despite aggressive retention policies and a recent shift to an advertisement based revenue model, has seen its subscriber base reduce dramatically in the wake of Cable and DSL.

7) Even though the vocals in question on it were credited as being arranged by Ken Pruett, The Walt Disney Company still felt the need to make a statement asserting that Clarence Nash was not involved. The song appeared in the movie Saturday Night Fever, but it was not included on its sound track. A dance craze that results in Elvis thanking him for getting down happens after the singer steps onto the dance floor and starts makes noises and flapping, becoming this creature. FTP, identify this 1976 hit by Rick Dees and His Cast of Idiots, a funky song about a dancing waterfowl.

8) At the beginning of this season, this man attempted to quell fan discontent by saying, "We are coming back strong next year. I know you have heard that tune before, but this time it will literally come true." In 1996, he fired announcer Jon Miller for not being enough of an "advocate" for the team he owns, which has not made the playoffs since Davey Johnson resigned in 1997. Also responsible for hiring General Manager Syd Thrift, this owner began his franchise's descent into mediocrity when he lowballed Rafael Palmeiro and Mike Mussina, causing them to sign elsewhere. A longtime opponent of baseball in DC, FTP, identify this owner of the Baltimore Orioles.

9) This person appeared on the very first episode of the Chris Rock show, and also appeared as himself on the George Lopez show, Reno 911, and Scrubs. He got into comedy after performing at a talent show at Florida Atlantic University, and he also starred as Edison, a surfing inventor, in the huge box office bomb, Chairman of the Board. He has gained significant muscle mass after beginning a body building program in 2001, yet he still retains his trademark hair style. FTP, identify this comic who formerly starred in aggravating ads for Call AT&T, a person who is most famous for his use of props in his standup routine.

10) A remix of the song this artist is most known for appeared on the Nutty Professor 2 soundtrack. The artist would piggyback his debut album’s success with a brief acting career including a role in Snow Dogs, an advertising campaign with Pepsi, and his own namesake Shakedown show on MTV. Other songs on that first album included “Is Love Enough” which featured LovHer and “Dru World Order”, dedicated to the artist’s former group, Dru Hill. FTP, identify this artist most famous for his 1999 ‘’Unleash the Dragon’’ album which contained the hits “Go To Get It”, “Incomplete”, and “The Thong Song”.

11) It has been described as more fun than the real thing, when the real thing is defined as getting shot in the chest by an arrow. Later versions attempted to be less controversial by extending the woman’s arm a few pixels to indicate a “come here” gesture. Many stores refused to sell the original version after protests from Women Against Pornography, but the controversy resulted in an impressive 80,000 copies of it being sold. FTP, identify this Atari 2600 rape simulator where players guided a namesake doomed American general to get his vengeance on a tied up, naked Indian woman.

12) Plot developments in it include a pop star becoming pregnant by a man who wears a paper bag on his head named Ugly Bob. That pop star, Celine Deon, is later kidnapped by the nemesis of the title characters, but that nemesis is thwarted by the collective farting of the gas mask wearing crowd at a Roughriders vs. Rough Riders Canadian Football game. FTP, identify this made for TV movie that aired on Comedy Central on April 1, 1998, instead of the conclusion to Cartman’s Mom is a Dirty Slut, detailing Terrence and Phillip’s first dealings with Saddam Hussein.

13) Its seven million dollar budget was ninety three million dollars less than the original, retaining no characters from that original movie, although Brenda Strong returns for a different role. It stars Bill Brown as Private Otis Brick who must stop a new enemy that proliferates through infecting the brain, while Kelly Carlson fills in the nudity gap of the original’s co-ed shower scene during basic training. FTP, identify this direct to video sequel to a 1997 movie based on a Robert A. Heinlein book, subtitled Hero of the Federation, that once again sees Federation Soldiers fighting Arachnid bugs on distant planets.

14) Lance Leggett scored two touchdowns to bookend a 35 to zero victory for the home team in the game this incident occurred in. Running back A'Mod Ned tried to join this event on crutches, and Lamar Thomas was fired for his comments during it. After James Bryant was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct, it began when Chris Smith punched Matt Pirelli during the ensuing extra point try. That let to Brandon Meriweather stomping on opposing players with his cleats and Anthony Reddick slamming his helmet into an opposing player, highlights of this five-minute melee. Occurring on October 14, 2006 in the third quarter of a game played at the Orange Bowl, FTP, name this extended conflict which took place between two college football teams from South Florida.

15) Despite featuring an all-star cast, it managed to get a 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. John DiMaggio and George Carlin will hopefully forget they lent their voices to it, and it joins the list of crap that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. have starred in together. Its taglines included “The Future Looks Grimm” and “Fairytale endings aren’t what they used to be.” FTP, identify this 2007 computer-animated film about the misadventures of Ella and Rick the Dishwasher, who work to defeat her evil stepmother to restore Fairy Tale Land to its proper ending.

16) Much of the show was scripted, and various non-star roles were assigned after a casting call. Episodes ranged from the title character trying out for a sports team to him finding a roommate. A disclaimer at the end of each show reveals that the high school dropout title character did not in fact enroll at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln despite participating in the drum line for marching band for a home football game. FTP, identify this summer of 2005 NBC show that saw the semi-matriculation of the drummer of Mötley Crüe.

17) His early stage name was “Rus Le Roq” and while performing with the New Zealand production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show he was billed thusly, although his billing changed when he toured with Grease in Australia. His former band’s releases have included Gaslight, Bastard Life or Clarity and Other Ways of Speaking, but none of them have been met with much critical or popular success and he has admitted to intentionally keeping the initials of his two bands the same. FTP, name this actor whose bands include his new one, The Ordinary Fear of God, and his old one, 30 Odd Foot of Grunts.

18) The author states in its introduction that “these are my words, straight from me to you”, blaming the media for the negative publicity he had received. Its last section describes the author’s new employer as also knowing what it feels like to be treated like Darth Vader. The author controversially describes his quick recovery from injury in it as “nothing short of heroic”, later claiming in a book signing that he was misquoted. FTP, identify this work of literary genius by the author of Catch This, originally to be called Ineligible Receiver, which was co-authored by Jason Rosenhaus, that details its namesake’s struggles with the Philadelphia Eagles franchise in 2005.

19) Set in Newbury, New York, it began with the title character’s brother, Jason, stealing money and abandoning the family that creator Jack Kenny based on that of his lover’s. Other ‘memorable’ plot points involved a threesome to spruce up the main character’s marriage, and daughter Grace getting busted for selling pot. Catholic groups protested Father Frankie’s connections to the mafia, while Focus on the Family took offense to the main character’s pain killer addiction. FTP, name this Bizaro-world Seventh Heaven, that was pulled last January by NBC after only four episodes, mainly due to its portrayal of a liberal Jesus that talks to the head of the Webster family.

20) Clarice Starling owned a blue one in Silence of the Lambs, and it was offered as a prize on a MAD TV sketch of The Price is Right. The AVE Mizar attached a Cessna Skymaster to one of these, but it was ultimately too heavy and Henry Smolinksi was killed during a test flight. A Mother Jones exposé alleged that it was rushed on to the market due to foreign competition, and that its eleven dollar fix was ignored because its creator viewed litigation as a cheaper alternative. FTP, identify this vehicle that had a silver fuel tank very near its bumper, nicknamed “the barbecue that seats four”, infamous for its recall because of its tendency to explode in rear end collisions.

21) It happened in Episode 91, which was during Season 5, and originally aired September 20, 1977. Producer Garry Marshall admitted that he realized what was happening when the crew was preparing for it. Despite the well-known ill effects of salt water on leather, the person performing it for some reason was still wearing his trademark leather jacket. FTP, identify this iconic moment of television history when Happy Days’ Henry Winkler performs a stunt on water skis over a caged fish with a cartilaginous skeleton.

22) Because its main competitor was only printed eight times a year, this magazine had a measure of success in the late '80s thanks to its monthly publications and acquisition of Don Martin. But dwindling profits has led to magazine to recently shift its format to more resemble that of men's magazines like Maxim. A running gag was that its cover always misspelled the word “magazine”, and its blonde haired mascot usually also graced each issue's cover. FTP, identify this long time rip off of Mad Magazine, whose Alfred E. Neuman like mascot is a janitor named Sylvester P. Smythe.

23) Translation issues between the English and Japanese versions resulted in controversy over whether or not it was a member of the series, although the subtitle “The Final Fight” added by Capcom USA was the only real change. The main character has had bionic implants since it has been 25 years since he was king of the circuit, and the cyboplasm he helped developed has turned people into mindless, violent mutants. It is possible that the entire game has been retconned out of the official canon, as no others reference it and it was Ryu rather than Ken who won Street Fighter II. FTP, identify this NES action platform in which Ken searches the frontier to avenge the death of his lab partner Troy.

1) At least he was voted sexiest Asian singer alive in 2006. FTPE, identify these songs that were covered by William Hung over his illustrious career.

2) Even Stephen King has off days, and coke’s not to blame for all of them. Identify some of these less than stellar Stephen King novels, FTPE.

3) Why is this next bonus on the NHL in this packet? You'd already know the answer if you were paying attention to its ratings. FTPE, name these teams from that struggling league from a description.

4) As a month of avatars informed those brave enough to frequent hsquizbowl, Mark Foley wasn’t the only Congressman involved in a scandal. Identify some of these other screw ups, FTPE.

5) Identify these pathetically bad videogames, FTPE.

6) Coming in the exciting colors of white, black, and brown, it seems like this device was doomed from the start. FTPE,

7) Rob Sheffield in Rolling Stone asked of him, “where are the fucking jokes?”. FTPE:

8) We built this bonus. We built this bonus on rock and roll. Well, we actually used Dave Barry’s 1993 article about the worst songs ever. FTPE:

9) At least its ratings weren’t as low as the NHL’s last year. Identify these things relating to the XFL, FTPE.

10) Given items from a Fast Food Restaurant, identify the item with the most calories, on a five, ten, twenty, thirty point basis from information provided by dietfacts.com.

11) Answer some questions about these entirely-CG substandard characters from the Star Wars prequels, FTPE.

12) Identify the following about a 2005 Golden Raspberry award winner, FTPE.

13) Identify some of these spectacular box office failures, FTPE.

14) Three years after American Idol debuted, networks are still piggybacking off of the idea and coming up with their own awful summer talent shows. Identify these shows, FTPE.

15) Identify the following about songs whose Asian influences don’t really help with overall quality, FTPE.

16) Despite his rather appealing voice, Christopher Lambert has been in some movies that make us question his character. FTPE:

17) Identify the nineties alternative album from its not so great filler tracks, FTPE. If you need more popular tracks, you’ll receive five points.

18) Answer the following about a colossally one-sided trade FTPE.

19) Identify some of these shows that for various reasons were canceled before they even aired an episode, FTPE.

20) Identify these Apprentice ripoffs, FTPE.

21) Identify these D-Listers who have tried to resurrect their career with stints on VH1’s The Surreal Life, FTPE.

22) Identify some of these athletes and teams who have received notoriety for their actions on and off the field, FTPE.

23) Powerful vocals can be a key component to a hit song, as evidenced by the answers to this bonus. Unfortunately, overplay and failed attempts at karaoke can ruin them, FTPE: