Letters from a new hampshire prison from the wrongfully convicted chad evans

Dawn Fortin worked for me in Rochester when I was the restaurant manager. Really nice girl. Dawn's little sister, Keri, was also good and had management potential. As I understand it, she is still working for the company, maybe running Newington. Keri came along as I started getting promoted, so I didn't have as much interaction with her. I believe Jason hired her and started her development while he was managing Rochester.

Keri is a very talented manager. She had good people skills and always had good command of the operations. I enjoyed working with her and giving her tips here and there on how to "fine tune" her skill set.

Melissa Brundage started working for me right at the start of college. We hired her to roll fajita's and make salads. It was a set up type/prep position at the restaurants at that time. We gave her the nickname, "Fajita." She was great, good sense of humor, laughed at everything, etc. I went to her about learning other positions, which she wanted to do. After a while, I asked her if she was interested in management, and she was. Then possibly making it a career, she was. So I spent many hours with her one-on-one training her in all aspects of the job. She was very talented and eventually got promoted to restaurant manager. Running Hampton Beach for a time, Greenland, and Portsmouth. She was what we considered, home-grown. That is, she started out in one restaurant and got promoted up through the ranks. I did a lot of things with my mgrs and she was around me a lot. Both socially and work. She saw me through my single times. I had always been good to Melissa and tried to help her as much as possible.

You asked about the trip to Bruce's parents place in Pitts. NH. It is very possible that it happened around that open weekend of 15-16 of July. I remember I worked that Friday because we drove up at night. I'm sure Amanda's mom had Kassidy. I would not have gone in July prior to the 4th and June is unlikely because that is when we do all of the hiring and training for Hampton Beach. Pittsburg is in Northern NH and is usually colder than down in the Rochester area. But it wasn't cold when we went. August, at least late August is less likely because it is the "dog days" of the beach. And where I did so many other things in August, I doubt I would have done that to. It's a place to start I guess. I know there were a bunch of photos taken. If we ever get contact with Bruce we will ask if he has any, perhaps his parents do, perhaps Derek Bennett took some or his mom who was also there. I will give it more thought.

Sincerely,
July 23, 20l0 (175)

Thanks for the photo of Becky. I know EXACTLY who she is now and will write her. I recall she was a pretty quirky kid. Just the type of challenge I enjoyed. It's funny you asked in here about a fight Tristan and I had in Dec. 99. I just wrote about that yesterday, before I received this letter. Sometimes, it is scary how our thoughts seem to cross. Tristan moved out I guess, in the second week in December 1999. I worked hard to repair the relationship. We were not friendly at first and by February or March we were friends again. I think she and I met during the summer and she indicated she wanted to file for divorce. We worked out details and she probably filed in August or something. I recall meeting her in Dover McDonald's sometime in Sept or Oct, right before her court date to sign off. I didn't go to court with her. Her lawyer, Stan Hawthorne, a family friend, did all the paperwork. It was friendly, but sad. It represented the end of us. Even though I was happy with Amanda by now, it still represented failure.

Wow, Becky sure seems to work hard. Two jobs. Bruce Aube's mom, spent many years collecting tolls on the Spaulding turnpike, I wonder if they know each other. I will

ask when I write to her.

Great email exchange with Jackie. The last thing I want to do is offend someone and some of what I wrote might. In fact, when I read your long reply email that you sent to her, I was thinking we probably should have also removed that section about my reluctance to stay at their house the first night I met them. She may take it that I was slamming her parenting, but what I was really trying to talk about was my character. Oh well, if she's super sensitive she will take it personally that I was teaching Scotty how to hit a wiffle ball. Hopefully, though, she won't. Hopefully, she will think back to that time period and it will be a reminder to her of the care I showed with her own two eyes. If we can get people to go back in their minds to their own actual memories vs. the horrible stories they were told AFTER Kassidy's death, it will be helpful.

On another subject, one of my friends here reminded me of another movie that might describe my relationship with Amanda. It's "Mr & Mrs. Smith," Starring Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. They are a married couple of hitmen/woman. They are in love yet violent.

You asked about nicknames for Kassidy. I don't know what Jen and Jeff called her other than Jeff called her "stupid," "retard," "children of the corn," when describing her. Hopefully, he didn't call her by those names, directly. I know I called her :Kass," "sweetie," "honey," "babygirl," and "Kassidy.: Amanda would call her all of those and I know I have heard her on occasion call Kassidy "Punkin" and 'Sweet Pea.' I also called her "little shit" at least once. As you noted, it sounds horrible, but it was me being amazed at her. From the tone and smile on my face, she undoubtedly knew it was a good thing. A typical example would be, "Come here, baby girl, and get your apple juice." Upon hearing this, Kassidy would know we were talking to her and come running into the kitchen.
July 27, 2010 (176)

I don't have a copy of your letter #199. I have everything else you sent with the packet except your letter. It seems to be misplaced somewhere. If you asked me questions, you may want to resend it. I met with John yesterday. It has been a horrible week here to say the least. I will explain more at our visit. It went ok'. I was a little disappointed that he didn't ask any of the questions that I put together and I thought pretty much covered everything. Instead, he asked the same question 30 different ways. Of course, I was a bit nervous. I had so much riding on this. It didn't help any that I received your letter with the copy of the email from Bruce that he didn't want to be bothered. It felt

like my guts were kicked up into my throat. I'm sure it added to the stress I was already feeling. I was glad to see that John understood my reasoning of wanting certain questions to be asked. He said, "I know why you want all of these questions asked. You feel like since the beginning no one has believed anything you said. Starting with those police that were supposed to be INVESTIGATING. Let's focus on the big stuff today and maybe we can come back to some of your questions another day." I went on to explain further that it seems like once you are charged you lose all credibility and your word no longer means anything even though honesty has always been one of your biggest core values. The fact that you have spent a lifetime making the right kind of name for yourself now means nothing. I wanted every question asked because I KNEW what the truth was and I didn't want anyone to think I was "ducking" a question, or that we left anything to question. I didn't want to leave any "wiggle" room.

In some of the letters that you have sent me beyond this one you were sending me the chronology and "Letters from NH State Prison." I made a few minor corrections and am sending these pages back to you. I wasn't able to add as much to the chronology as I would have liked. I recently contacted Jeremy Hinton's brother, Jaime, to see if he could help me get dates for the 2000 manager and assistant managers' convention. That will at least give us 4 more days to fill in on the chronology and help us figure out more about that critical time period. I was encouraged to hear Jaime tell me that he believed the manager's convention was in Philadelphia. That is what I had

thought and was the place I originally told you we may have went. Always nice when you get confirmation that you aren't crazy. In addition, staring at the chronology for well over an hour, gave me some important details to share with you centering around Oct. 22.

I knew from our correspondence last week that I had told Jeff sometime after my trip with him to Maine to get the 3-wheeler, that McDonald's would not be renewing his contracts the following spring. I wanted to look at what we already had established from that week and see if it sparked any more memories. As I looked at Oct. 22, a "light bulb" went on. On that Sunday morning Amanda and I drove home early from Bruce and Michelle's house in Newport. Jeff showed up at Rochester late with Kassidy, and Jeff and I left about an hour later than I wanted to while Amanda, Travis, and Kassidy were in the kitchen. Later that day, Jennifer came to visit with Amanda and Kassidy at our home-in Rochester. They were going to spend the day together. In addition to Amanda changing Kassidy's first diaper and noticing the black and blue covered butt, all three of the girls, Amanda, Jen, and Kassidy, went on the trampoline that afternoon I know that I have told you this previously, but I couldn't reference a time frame when Amanda saw bruises on Jennifer. It was this afternoon, while they were jumping on the trampoline that Amanda first noticed bruises on Jennifer's leg. When Amanda initially asked Jen about it, Jennifer denied Jeff did anything. Amanda was trying

to put her sister at ease and get her to open up, so she (unwisely) told Jen, "It's ok Jen, you can talk to me, Chad hits me sometimes." With this, they apparently had a sincere discussion, and Amanda then invited her to stay with us. "Really you can, Chad won't care." Likely with all the detail I have been trying to come up with about Kassidy, this escaped me but when I started staring at the page it stuck right out. I know this because I had this in the back of my mind when I spoke to Jeff specifically about the spanking he gave Kassidy on Oct. 25th., Amanda had to have told me about this conversation with Jen and inviting her to stay with us prior to me confronting Jeff on Oct. 25. Of course, I reassured Amanda that it was fine if Jen needed to stay with us. I don't know why this has never stuck out to me before. More importantly, provided that Amanda was telling me the truth, why didn't it stick out to Jen? Three weeks prior to Kassidy's death, Jeff hit Kassidy so hard through her diaper that she was black and blue.

In hindsight, I probably should have involved myself right when Amanda told me about Kassidy and Jennifer, but with Jen especially, I figured it was best to wait until she asked for help or Amanda wanted me to intervene. I waited a few days to approach Jeff about Kassidy for a couple of reasons.

1. Amanda was pretty determined to handle Jeff herself. Amanda liked to know that I was "there" but never liked me to take over or get involved unless she asked me to. To jump in uninvited was to invite my own wrath from Amanda. I think it may have had something to do with our age difference. Amanda always wanted to prove to me she was independent and capable of making her own decisions and dealing with things. She had no problem asking for help when she felt she needed it.

2. I was seeing "RED" over Kassidy's butt. Jennifer begged Amanda not to tell me about Kassidy's black and blue butt with good reason. If I had gone to confront Jeff immediately after first seeing Kassidy's butt I would have likely ripped his arms right out of the socket. There was a good reason why McDonald's always insisted on a 24 hour cool off period before terminating an employee. It helps your reasoning skills.

The main reason for writing about Oct. 22 was the evening conversation when Jeff and I returned from picking up the 3-wheeler I just purchased. I know I have written about this before but I don't believe I have written this to you directly. When we returned that evening, I expected Amanda to be really happy because it was her 3-wheeler. She was kind of crabby and throwing daggers with her eyes. Now remember, I had just spent the entire day with Jeff, where he spent hours "ripping" Amanda + Jen's family, and ripping Kassidy. Talking about how she is spoiled is a brat, etc. (Certain people have this ability when they speak to whack away at something until you somewhat see what they are describing as they do. Jeff has this ability... ) I don't know yet how badly Jeff beat Kassidy's butt. However, this knowledge has been festering in Amanda all day. The four of us adults were sitting around the dining room table talking and the subject comes up about Kassidy, her behavior, (tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants.) etc. I don't know who started the conversation, but Jeff had been watching Kassidy pretty regularly. I know at some point Amanda got up from the table after Jeff was talking about Kassidy needing discipline and structure and she stated, "I don't know, Jeff, but no one should ever hit someone else's kid." Amanda even addressed both Jeff and I when she re entered the room saying that we were picking on Kassidy. (I didn't understand how I got dragged into it. Everything that I tried to do for Kassidy was to benefit her.) Anyway, after they left, Amanda was changing Kassidy's diaper and hysterical, crying, etc. I asked her what was wrong and she held Kassidy's legs up, "This, look at her butt. Jeff said she was being bad so he spanked her." I said, "Oh my God, that is more than a spanking. Why didn't you tell me about that when he was just here so I could kick his ass?" Amanda said, "Because Jen asked me not to, she was afraid you would kill Jeff, she said she was going to deal with him." I then said, "Well, now I understand your comments aimed at Jeff spanking someone else's kid."

During the course of this conversation at the dining room table, I unintentionally gave Jeff some "ammo" that he later fed to the police. I talked about seeing some of those crazy fits myself. I talked about her throwing herself on the floor, or running face first into the corner and closet door. Worst yet, "She was so hysterical last week about me giving Amanda a kiss last week that she started screaming so intensely I thought she stopped breathing so I SPLASHED COLD WATER IN HER FACE." I thought it was Amanda but it was likely me that give that information to Jeff which he gave to the KPD early on November 9th.

You asked about my Jan. 28th letter where I described doing a picture game with Kassidy ....

I guess I described it as such because I couldn't think of a better name for it. Kassidy's vocabulary and knowledge of the world around her was expanding daily. Amanda and I would sit her in our lap and point to different things around the room and name them: ball, plate, spoon, wall, rug, stove, etc. She was really great about remembering the ones that she learned from the previous day. We would do the same with picture books.

My favorite thing was the face name game. You touch something on her or your face and she would tell you what it was. Hair, ear, eyes, nose, etc. I absolutely LOVED the way she said nose. It was as if the word was clipped and had a bunch of SSSSS at the end, "nossse." She always had the best smile during the face name game, so eager to get the words out and always right. At the conclusion, we'd stretch our arms out and say, "hug" and she'd put her head on your chest or near your neck depending on how she was sitting and say, """OOOOHHHHHHH" as you hugged. It was the sweetest thing and would just melt me every time.

Also, in your Jan. 28th letter you asked about what particular tantrums Kassidy had, and when I spoke of "palming" her cheeks to obtain eye contact. Your question was, "What did I say to Kassidy in this instance?" I can't recall exactly, but it was usually something like, "We've been through all of this before. You need to stop having these fits. I'm not going anywhere. You are going to have to learn to share mama." Later, after the tantrum is over, everybody's calm, I'd go pick Kassidy up, give her a big kiss and try to explain again in a very soothing voice, something similar. I know she was probably too young to understand it but that was the method I used with the boys and was the method I was going to use with her. Eventually she would understand what I was saying. I didn't envision the fits going on forever. What I couldn't understand was why they were returning. She had not had them like this since the very beginning of our relationship in June/July. It made no sense to me.

Still on your letter of Jan 28. It's great that Becky is going to check with Irene Ricci to see if she remembers the call. I hope Irene remembers it and/or is willing to tell us. I sure remember it. It's odd some of the things we remember. This is a pretty insignificant thing yet I remember it clearly. Other things I have the hardest time with. Irene has one of those very young sounding voices, very soft spoken on the phone. It makes an impression. She asked if Travis was there (at our house), and when I informed her that he just left, she kind of giggled and said he was already supposed to be there. (at her house). I may have even told her that I held him up a little. That would be great if she comes back to us with this.

In any event, yes, Gonic is local to Rochester, in fact, for the first year I lived in Rochester I thought it was part of Rochester. I was surprised to read that Irene is again/ or still working at McDonald's in Rochester. She worked there for me for a number of years. Both her, and her sister April. As a matter of fact, the father of Irene's children, Mike, also worked for me for a while.

You asked about Kyle and his going to day care late on the morning of Nov. 8th. It is very possible that Erin, the day care teacher was confused about what Amanda said. It is also possible that some other child was late that morning due to a doctor's appt.. Without getting Kyle's medical records it is hard to recall or confirm if he had an appointment on that particular day. I know that months ago you confirmed with Tristan that Kyle had IN FACT been sick around that time with the flue. I know Amanda and I figured he gave it to Kassidy as is typical in a household, so we were less concerned when she exhibited similar symptoms. In hindsight, I obviously wish we had been less confident that she likely caught something from Kyle. I don't know if Kyle missed any other days of school that week. Even though it was preschool, it was structured, and he was learning things so I liked him to be there. On the other hand, since his birth, if I had time off, and could spend it with him I would doing something with him, regardless of whether or not I had to pay for day care. Money was important to me but it didn't hold a candle to time with him and having a chance to spend time and watch him grow. Every day with kids at that age is a new experience.

It is not likely that Amanda took Kyle to the doctor's without me knowing it. It's also unlikely that Tristan would ask her to do something like that, especially without my knowledge. Tristan and Amanda were sometimes friendly toward each other, but simply because of the dynamics they were never going to be close. This weighed on me tremendously. More so than any past relationship I have had. One represented my past and was the mother of my son, and the other represented my future. I had planned to be forever linked to both of them. I had love for both of them. Never before was it important for me to have an ex and a "present" to be friends, but with them it was. We had Kyle to think about. I did everything I could to try and nurture their relationship. I probably tried too hard. I just hated tension and you could sometimes feel it when they were in the same room. Other times, it was tension free. Perhaps time would have made everything better. This was still new to everyone.

You asked me to try and nail down the date that I spoke with Mrs. Edgar about watching Kassidy. It's funny, because when I was reviewing the chronology the other day, I did just that. The best I can come up with at this point is between Oct. 30 and Nov. 6. I know it was around the time that Amanda was herself calling for day care openings. As often happens in this case where it was so long ago, I have conflicting memories of something that has seemed inconsequential for so long. Part of me feels that I checked because Amanda had checked into a few places and was having no luck. But, according to your notes, Amanda didn't start calling until Nov. 3rd. Part of me thinks I covertly checked into Crossroads prior to Amanda making calls, so that if Mrs. Edgar said it was fine, I would encourage Amanda to bring Kassidy there. It was a great school and it would be convenient for Kyle and Kassidy to be at the same place. Presented in this manner, Amanda likely would not have taken it personally that I was trying to make decisions for her. The only problem was, I know that Amanda had her heart set on a Maine day care, in the Kittery area.

#1 it would be close to her work.

#2 I believe it had something to do with the Aspire program. I really don't know much about the Aspire program or her dealings but I believe she was using Jeff and Jen's address for program

purposes. As you and I have discussed. I had no knowledge of how Kassidy had died when I went in for my interrogation but I was worried about getting Amanda into trouble with the state of Maine. In hindsight, her telling the state of Maine about where she was living was the least of our problems. Of course, at the time we didn't know that. We've all seen the cop shows were "bad cop" latches onto the tiniest thing to twist you up and use it against you. And I certainly wasn't going to try and give them something to hurt Amanda with. Hey, I just realized, my case is one of those I

above-described television programs. Even if Amanda had not gotten into Old Navy, she planned to find something in Kittery.

Given how close Gina Warner and I once were, I hope she will respond. You spend years you think, building relationships and doing right by people and then you wake up one morning to find you have nothing. I once found an article in a newspaper where Gina's daughter, Shannon, had nominated her adoptive father, Craig Warner, for some father of the year award. It was a touching article. I had known Shannon since she was a young child. I wrote a little note to Shannon about how special and thoughtful it was for her to do something so nice. I believe I sent it to Gina so she could decide whether or not to give it to Shannon. I have no idea if she did.

Ok. Back to Mrs. Edgar above. (I hate typewriters) Did she mention during your call if Kassidy was with me or not when I spoke with her? I don't believe Kassidy was but if by chance she was, it would have been NOV. 2 that I spoke with her because I had Kassidy by myself that evening as Amanda and Nicole went to their money mgt. seminar. All of these conflicting memories of the day care situation provide at least one clue - I WAS thinking about this at the time.

I have no problem writing a letter to Jackie as long as I can't get into trouble for it. I believe I have told you before that when Amanda was visiting me in 2007, I begged her to bring her mother up here to meet me face to face. As a matter of fact, maybe I just read it in your letters from NH. Perhaps that is an email you should copy her.

You asked about my counselor, Gray, that worked at Strafford County Guidance or whatever it was called. You mentioned Becky was going to try and track him or the place down. Let Becky know that it is/was located right next the now defunct 103 Restaurant, which was right on Main Street. I believe the counseling center was one or two buildings away and looked like a converted house. I was told some years ago that Gray had left the country soon after I stopped seeing him. Possibly to do mission work??? I can't recall who I heard this from. It may have been me trying to contact him myself to see him again or something. Even while I was seeing him, I knew he would

be retiring soon.

Another funny coincidence?? For the domestic violence group I was court-ordered to take I

met one time a week in Dover or Rochester. The Rochester group was held in the backroom

of this counseling building.

Regarding the characterization of Jeff's McDonald's contracts, "non-renewal" of contracts is fine vs. "cancellation." Actually, it is more accurate. Cancellation would be if I replaced someone mid season. That actually almost happened with Jeff, a year or so earlier but I couldn't find someone to take over mid season.

I hear you about holding off on the email to Amanda. That is fine. I totally understand why you want to find out about Kassidy's actual appointment history. The reason I suggested the email to her asking for confirmation of how often I reminded Amanda to take Kassidy to the doctor is the way it was worded, made it EASY for Amanda to respond. It gives Amanda that chance to be helpful. This would likely LEAD to a conversation with her where you can those releases signed. You just have to trust a little bit that I knew this girl (somewhat at least), that I planned to marry. I know some of how she thinks. You provided some good bruising type questions about bruising and how little it was looked into. Hopefully, you have these questions SET ASIDE somewhere for when we get to speak to a doctor.

Regarding Scott Lane. I do think he is worth contacting. Even after my arrest he was pretty supportive and said, "Don't worry, you have supporters out here that know the truth." Scott lived in Gonic right around the corner from Gina Warner. I doubt very much if Scott has moved. In fact, he purchased Gina's old mobile home years ago. Scott is kind of a self described "loner". He is a HUGE gun nut and when he isn't out working 80 hours a week, he is cleaning or shooting his guns. Scott was in a bad car accident a number of years before I met him that somewhat affected his motor skills and one of his legs. However, he is very intelligent and has an incredible memory. I think he may have been over to my house a couple of times while Kassidy and Amanda lived with me. If so, he will remember almost every detail. I can almost guarantee it. I'm sure he still lives in that mobile home park in Gonic. Scott is very methodical and not a big fan of "change". My address book was taken once by security years ago, and I don't have his address anymore. Perhaps my dad has name or number as he dealt with Scott a couple of times.

Glen was an electrician that worked for Jacobs and Son Electric when I knew him. I believe Jeff Jacobs and Glen went to high school together. There were some photos of all of us together but none that I have seen since we started this. I do recall some details of the times with Glen, Deb, Me, and Amanda. I'll try to get them down this week.

Larry Lane went to Martha's Vinyard with Kim Grace. This is the girl that I formerly dated that Amanda was upset about on the night of the Exeter Inn party.
July 29, 2010 (178)

I just rec'd 214 tonight and see that you replied to 176. Whoops I just sent you another 176+177 yesterday. So I will make my copy of the second one 176A. This was kind of a short letter so I am going to skip a few and respond this evening. Included with this letter will be copies of letters I wrote to Holy Rosary, Dr. Anderson and Dr. Clark.

The quote you are asking about with Becky was in letter 168. Your copy obviously hasn't arrived yet. It was basically about her transformation and change of heart after she started reading from the website.

Thanks for the lyrics to the "Pink" song. Listen to it sometime if you get a chance. I often find the singers' presentation is more important than the words themselves.

You were responding to my letter #171 and asked a few questions. The $900 Bruce and I made that week early in November betting was to be split between us. Nice little bump for watching something you love, right? Imagine being one of these professional athletes getting to play a sport you love for millions of dollars? Yes, we would bring some of the kid's toys to play with them while watching football at Bruce's. Bruce had a fooseball table in his kitchen and we would stand Kyle up on a chair and let him hit balls. Brent liked to play it as well. It didn't really interest Kassidy that much.

You were responding to my letter #172 and asked about Tristan's college graduation. It was during the day at the campus of NH Technical Institute in Concord. I want to say, May 1999. I can't remember all of the particulars I believe it was a 3 year program with school and "clinical" time and she finished a half year earlier or so. She earned a degree in X-Ray Technology and later went to school for MRI's and Cat Scans Yes, I paid for the entire cost of tuition and books. But I was married to Tristan at the time and it was OUR money. I kind of got the ball rolling with her going to school. She was VERY good at McDonald's but as I mentioned previously, not a great idea for us to work together and both have crazy careers. I wanted her to have a good career, something she could be proud of, and financially able to take care of herself if anything ever happened to me. However, I wanted it to be a more "normal" job working 8-4 M-F or something. Rather than the crazy hours I worked as a supervisor. It was CRUCIAL that one of us be there for the kids. We both agreed on that. Because I already had the supervisors job, it made sense for her to leave the company. We discussed school for a little bit. I encouraged her to pick ANY field that she wanted to go into at any local school and I would find a way to pay for it so she could focus on

the kids and her studies. I was most proud at the time that we were just able to write a check every semester. We never had to borrow or take out a loan. It felt like an accomplishment to pay for school, all other bills, childcare, put money away in IRA's for Tristan and me, as well as savings for the boys. That is how driven I was, always focused on the future, and how great things are going to be.... It probably caused some stress for Tristan and I. If I could do it over, I would have worked a little less, and played more during those years. I was doing what I thought was best at the time. So yes, I guess I paid for it but Tristan did the heavy lifting, driving to Concord everyday, taking care of the boys. She was a real trooper. I was SO PROUD of her. I don't care how much opposition McDougall potentially could have given me, I would not have missed her graduation for anything. Looking at the situation we are now in, I'm thankful every day that Tristan worked so hard and achieved that education. Regardless if Tristan and I were divorced or together, I would have worried about her and tried to help her financially. She is able to take care of herself and the boys.
July 30, 2010 (179)

We discussed many topics today but there were several you wanted me to respond to. Before I start, I wrote a letter to Holy Rosary Credit Union yesterday with the address you provided. After I finished the letter, I recalled that just prior to Kassidy's death, one of my former shift managers of several years was working at the credit union. Her name is/was Michelle "Missy" Labrie. Everyone called her Missy, but I am confident her first name was Michelle. The reason I mention this is because if the credit union doesn't respond, there is a chance Missy still works there and we may be able to contact her and get some help. She is a very bright girl and I imagine if she stuck with it, she is in some type of Mgt. position now.

You asked about the 3-wheeler's. There was, in fact, a 3rd 3-wheeler. I have a recollection that I wrote about it 45-60 days ago. I'm confident when you type 3-wheeler into your OCR program you will find it. There are details about that 3rd 3-wheeler that I remember now, and didn't then so I will update you with the new info. Looking at the chronology I am fairly certain that I purchased this third 3-wheeler on the morning of Friday Nov. 3, 2000. It is possible that it was the second but I don't believe so. I had purchased the first two 3-wheelers and when browsing through a buyer's guide I saw this third one for cheap money. I called the guy up in Maine that owned it and I believe he wanted $600 for it. I believe he ended up calling me back the evening at some point and told me that he would be traveling down 1-95 headed to Mass. early Friday morning and we made arrangements to meet at like 7a.m. in the parking lot of the Greenland McDonald's. I had planned to just leave the 3-wheeler in the trash corral behind the dumpster and make arrangements to get it later but when I got there I saw it wasn't going to work. The guy arrived with the 3-wheeler and I could see that it was well used. In fact, much of the plastic was cracked and beaten. The bike needed some work. I told the guy that $500 was as high as I was going to go. He thought about it for a minute and then agreed. I believe I then had the problem of getting it to Rochester. I called Jeff who lived about 15 minutes away to see if he could come meet me. I offered him $50 to bring it to Rochester the next time he was going that way. I believe he told me he was actually planning to go to Dover later that afternoon and would drop it off at my house then. I offered Jeff $50 because I had just saved $100 on the 3-wheeler and I had two "President Grants" in my pocket. I knew it would motivate him to have cash. I had to drive all the way down to Hampton Beach that morning to pick up some piece of equipment that was broken in the Rochester Store. I am almost positive I had to call Jeff back a second time because he was taking forever to get there and I needed to get going. Jeff was often late. One thing that was really good about supervising a seasonal restaurant is I could borrow equipment from it all off season if something went down in one of my restaurants.

When our maintenance staff was able to come make a repair we would then return the equipment we borrowed from the beach. Anyway, after Jeff and I loaded up the three wheeler, it's important to note here, that while I was in Greenland with Jeff at this time, I mentioned to him that he needed to come down some evening real soon and cut back the bush line as it was affecting the restaurant visibility. He assured me that he would. As was usually the case with Jeff, I would have to ask him 2-3 more times before it would get done. Thus, that was the purpose of my phone call to Jeff on the morning of Nov. 9. I forget the exact numbers, but with McDonald's something like 80-85% of our business was impulse shoppers. In other words, most people make their decision that they are going to McDonald's no more than 60 seconds before they get onto our lots and this makes visibility and signage crucial.

I am almost positive that Amanda and Kassidy met me down in Portsmouth to have dinner together. I want to say we either went to Shorty's Mexican Restaurant or Applebee's. I don't remember seeing a credit card charge on the Chase Gold Card statement you sent me, which would make sense considering I had just saved cash earlier in the morning. I know, you want to know what we ate. I know at both restaurants there was a chicken breast meal that I was very found of. Kassidy likely had chicken fingers from the children's menu and Amanda likely had a salad if it was Applebees's or chicken burrito type dish if it was Shorty's. I'm not sure if we purchased anything or not, but I can almost guarantee that we stopped and walked around BJ's for a little while together. Especially if we were at Applebee's, which was just down the road. For some reason, I was addicted to BJ's. It was always full of cool and different stuff.

I'm guessing your next question is why did I buy (3) adult sized three wheelers. There are actually several reasons for this. I am kind of an impulse shopper ... In those days I was becoming a lot more carefree with the "purse strings". Tristan was gone, and her college was paid for. I was very disciplined during those years and I wasn't so sure at the time that I met Amanda that, that wasn't part of my and Tristan's demise. I didn't want to make same mistakes. I was going to live a little more in the "now." Everyone was pretty well taken care of, no major bills, etc. If I saw something I wanted or wanted to buy for someone, I was going to have it. I had a well paying job and-wanted to enjoy certain things in life. The 3-wheelers were just a start. I had planned that when Kassidy and Kyle were just a few years older I had planned to buy them starter 4 wheelers. (Similar to the photographs you have seen of Kyle on his 4 wheeler around age 6 and his cousin, Malana, on hers.)

I would have never let the kids get 3-wheelers because they are so much more dangerous (Of course, I didn't think they were dangerous for me because they are what I grew up with.) Riding is so much fun and a great way to spend family time together. Rochester has some awesome trails and pits to ride. I also bought the last three wheeler as a back-up. It was "short" money and they are prone to breakdowns. This way, I would always have two running. Probably the most important reason I bought the third 3-wheeler was because I wanted to have it around for guests to ride with

us. Right before Kassidy's death, Amanda was talking about having her brothers come down again to stay with us. I figured Josh would have a blast bombing around on one of those things with me in the sand pit near my house. Being that it wasn't the dead of summer I was looking forward to having Josh and Scotty come down. I would have .more time to spend with them, getting to know them, etc. Unfortunately, it never happened.

Jeff was supposed to deliver the 3-wheeler later that day, but when I got home it wasn't there. I believe I called him, and he said he got tied up and would deliver it in a day of so. I wasn't worried about it because I had no immediate plans but I do recall him putting me off like this several times. It turns out that he off loaded it at his house. He never did deliver it. By this time, I had told him he wasn't going to have his contracts renewed. We never had any further discussions about it but Jeff wasn't the type that likely would have. Sometime after Kassidy died, and I was seeing Amanda against my bail condition she informed me that she had told Jeff through her mom or sister, to give the 3-wheeler to Josh. I was fine with that. I wonder if Josh ever did get the 3-wheeler?

You also asked me to write about all my contacts with Jeff Marshall. I will do that in my next correspondence. My back is spasming right now and I need to give it a rest. So I learned something new about you at your meeting. You don't watch much television. As you can imagine, it is an important babysitting tool in here. Do you rent and watch DVD movies with your wife? Hopefully your R.O.A.D. project stuff is going well for you.

I wonder if it is worthwhile or even smart to think of a few questions to provoke thought in people when they are relaying something like this. Sort of like how your questioning of Becky when she referred to me with a label made her step back and evaluate. She came back with an "oops my bad." I guess the point is I want people to be able to differentiate. If I truly was an asshole, fine. But if you are making an assumption because of something you read or because I was excitable as a manager, that is different. "Did you feel he was short tempered or did you feel he was passionate about the people working for him, wanting to help them all become successful while also maintaining great service to his customers?" I feel like passionate about his crew and service to the customer is a better descriptor of who Chad was. The last thing I will say on the subject for now, is around the time I married Tristan and started getting promoted above restaurant manager, my style changed somewhat.

Part of it may have been I was getting older. We know that as men reach the age 25 or so, they settle in somewhat. I think a bigger part of it was I was no longer working "hands on" every single day with the same crew day after day. My role changed when I was in the restaurants. I still worked shoulder to shoulder and acted like the biggest cheerleader from time to time but I was with these people less often. I funneled most of my communication through the managers. I was no longer doing all of the hiring and the last thing I wanted to do was ruin some poor 16 year old kid's

week because the area supervisor was "yelling" at him. There was a tremendous amount of respect naturally given to the position. I tried to make it my goal to put people at ease and have fun with it. I didn't want to be viewed as the "big bad supervisor" when I drove onto the lot. I would be very surprised if you could find anyone from 1997 on, (outside of a restaurant manager perhaps) that would describe me as short tempered or a yeller.

On to Jeff Marshall. You asked about my earliest interactions with Jeff and anything that I may not have already told you. I think I first met Jeff when I was either in my last year of managing Rochester or first year of supervision. He was doing landscaping for Larry Lane in Dover. That was one of Larry's stores. Jeff did ok (he was fine as long as he only had 1 or 2 of our restaurants.) Larry loved Jeff's prices. Usually, it was the supervisor that selected the landscaper but as the manager of Rochester, I was given a lot of leeway. Because of the job I was doing, I pretty much staffed the beach myself and everyone knew I would be the next area supervisor promoted. I didn't want to hire Jeff in Rochester even though Larry was basically recommending him. I had this new guy I wanted to try out, Glen Couture. This had to have been around 1996-97. The following year, Glen Couture told me that he wasn't going to doing landscaping work. Jeff did OK in Dover the previous year and he was cheap, so we decided to give him a shot in Rochester. That first season he did ok but he still didn't have many restaurants. He showed he needed a lot of follow up, but I didn't mind all that much when I didn't have that many restaurants. It was the next season that led me to see that Jeff wasn't going to landscape many of my stores, if any. He had approximately 8 restaurants between Larry and me. He needed almost constant follow-up and his low prices were no longer worth the aggravation. At the time I worked for Colley McCoy there were two distinct areas. Frank Morse ran one half the company, and Bob McDougall the other. In Frank Morse's area, one landscaper did the entire area. Jeff knew this, and he envisioned working himself in a position to do all of Bob's area. The only thing that Jeff didn't take into account is that business is more than making verbal commitments, which is the easy part. Then you have to do the work. Jeff had dreams of having a larger landscaping business, as I understand he has now, and that's to his credit. However, at the time, he didn't have the experience or the organization. I think his idea of running a business seemed to be having a person or two doing the work while he walked around with the property owner making small talk. When you start a small business, you have to get your hands dirty. Maybe he treated me differently because he knew that I had much more potential business for him. The best landscapers are the ones that were working with their crews. He was the "executive" while his girlfriend was running around mowing the lawn and working hard. it seemed to me from his style that he would have been in over his head with any more than 3-4 restaurants. Some of those decisions were not mine to make.

Prior to meeting Amanda I invited Jeff to my house on a couple of occasions. It wasn't a big deal, like he was some personal friend. I invited everybody over. I liked to have parties. If I was friendly towards you, I invited you. I invited former employees, current employees, my hair dresser. Hell I invited the guy that repaired the broken glass at my restaurant. If I liked you, I invited you. The people that worked for me worked hard, and I liked to have parties, they were stress relieving.

It was great for team building. A lot of the kids that worked for me came. I had beer and alcohol for adults and soda, punch, burgers, dogs, etc. for the kids. We cranked the stereo, played basketball, played cards, sat around talking, etc.

After I went on probation, I stopped having parties, I was getting older, I was no longer the restaurant manager so I wasn't as close to the Rochester staff, not to mention, I didn't want a house full of people knowing that the PO could come over at any time. The occasions that Jeff spoke of coming to my house were all prior to 2000. I also hired him to do a spring clean up at my house prior to 2000. My yard was covered with pine trees and they made a huge mess over the winter. After I started seeing Amanda, Jeff was over on several occasions. Sometimes to drop things off, other times, to pick up Kass. He was dating Amanda's sister, so I saw him more during that period than any other time. I was grateful that he had hooked me up with Amanda. It turned into much more than I expected. I would guess it was more than he expected as well considering he kept telling me to just take her out. He said, "She obviously puts out, she has a kid." He was doing a nice thing at the time, I thought, and then he said something terrible like that. He never tired of reminding me that he "hooked me up." I owe him one, etc.

Realistically, I viewed Jeff more as an asset than a friend. It is hard for me to admit this because I've always been a person that genuinely cared about people. I didn't like how he always told me what he thought I wanted to hear. Trustworthiness is a big core value of mine. So isn't character. I found both to be lacking in Jeff. I didn't respect him as a business owner and didn't like the way he treated his employees. When he first met me he talked about one of his employees being a total loser, which was very inappropriate. The more I saw him in action, the less I liked him. By June of 2000 I was pretty determined that if Jeff didn't have a perfect year, which is asking a lot so I would have settled for marked improvement, he was done landscaping in my restaurants. Still, he seemed eager for the opportunity to work, and I would use him for odd jobs in my restaurants besides landscaping, knowing that I could keep my misc. expense line items under control by having him do something vs. paying an outside contractor. For example, stripping the floors in the Rochester Walmart, climbing in and around the huge, dusty, indoor play areas in Portsmouth and Rochester etc. The only problem was if I was going to be with Amanda, and he with Jen, I was going to have to make more of an effort. Jeff rubbed me the wrong way. If it hadn't have been for Amanda and Jennifer, I would not have pre-warned him that his contracts were not going to be renewed during the spring of 2001. However, out of loyalty to Amanda I was trying to do Jeff a "solid". He probably felt I should have been saving his job because "I owed him one" but it was out of my hands. He had done such a terrible job in some of the restaurants that now even Bob McDougall was sick of him. Jeff required constant follow up and once Bob had to start following up and leaving messages, his days were numbered. By pre-warning Jeff I was actually putting myself out there a little bit because we were still planning to use him that winter for snowplowing. Jeff did ok with that and Bob would have been upset with me if he found out that I basically eliminated his leverage. Landscaping is much more expensive than plowing. The thing Jeff never understood was just how important landscaping was to McDonald's. Not only our company, Colley/McCoy, but also the McDonald's corporation. Ray Croc, McDonald's founder, viewed good landscaping as the first opportunity to impress our customers upon driving onto the lot. If you visited the Colley/McCoy main office in Windham, NH, there were 100's of plaques on the walls and dozens of them were for restaurants winning the annual "Outstanding Landscaping" award in the Boston region. We spent a lot of money maintaining our outside appearance. To my knowledge, we were never awarded an "Outstanding Landscaping" award for any restaurant while Jeff was the landscaper.
August 2, 2010 (181)

I was thinking of your comment to me on the phone the other day about how hard it was to read some of Amanda's letters to me. I am glad that you got to see first hand some of the love and passion we shared. It's one thing for me to describe it; it is quite another to read evidence of it yourself. It's especially hard in here when your "world" falls apart. You start to question if everything was real. I mean, this woman was the love of my life. I am glad to hear as an outsider, through your reading, that you felt her feelings for me were real. There isn't anything that I wouldn't have done for Amanda.

You asked in your letter 204 what RVR's are. They are Restaurant Visitation Reports. Back then they were tools that a representative from McDonald's Corp. would use to grade an owner operator's restaurant (franchisee), on all areas of operation. They were usually held over a-2-3 day period and a grade was issued at the end of the visit.

You asked about Jeff's contracts. Snowplowing and landscape maintenance contracts were separate. Typically Landscaping contracts were agreed upon in the spring April/May time frame. They would include a "spring up" which was basically a winter clean up, spreading new bark mulch, edging, thatching the grass, trim hedges if necessary. etc. It included a weekly maintenance of the grounds, mowing the lawn, light weeding, maintaining flowers, trimming hedges every 2-3 months, etc. Pruning was quoted as needed. Landscaping contracts expired at the end of the season. Usually around Oct. 1st when the last weekly maintenance was done. Snowplowing contracts were usually agreed upon in late fall, Oct./Nov. It would consist of plowing the lots, snow removal if necessary and salt/ sanding. Ironically, Jeff seemed to do much better with his plowing contracts than his landscaping. I say ironically because snowplowing usually needs to happen all at once and Jeff really only had one truck working. But he usually kept up.

Perhaps it helped Jeff that there was no physical labor involved. He stayed in his truck and drove. That contract ended when the snow stopped falling. As with landscaping, Jeff's prices were the lowest and the #1 reason we hired him.

You asked about the double date with Emily Conley. I could give you an exact date if we could get some help from these credit card companies. We went for dinner and drinks at the Whales Tale. I believe I paid for it on my credit card. I want to say it was late June or early July. Kyle would have been with Tristan. It's likely that Kassidy was at Jackie's. Amanda may have been still working in Auburn at this point. I was aware that Emily was pregnant when we went out on the double date. Amanda had informed me that her ex boyfriend was a real jerk and wanted to fix Emily up with someone nice. Jeff Jacobs, like me, had recently split from his wife. I met Emily and thought she was really nice. I knew Jeff Jacobs was a great guy. I informed him that Emily was pregnant. Jeff was a father to a young son, and this did not phase him. If things had worked out between Jeff and Emily, Jeff is the kind of guy that would have stepped up. I didn't put a ton of thought into it. Mostly, I just went on Amanda's word and wishes. I thought it could be potentially good for both of them. Emily because no one should have to go through a pregnancy alone, which is the way Amanda described to me. It would be good for Jeff because he was taking his pending divorce hard.

You asked about Amanda and my effort to fix up Cathy N. and Jeremy H. Again, this was early on in the summer. That is when Cathy hung around us. I think by Sept. she was moving to San Antonio. Amanda really liked Jeremy and she thought they would be a really cute couple. It was clear that when Cathy and Jeremy were around each other there was a bit of an attraction. We didn't attempt to fix them up as much as just made it possible for them to be around each other. I know they were over at our house several times together. I believe one night we all sat around playing

rummy and other card games. I also remember we went to a party somewhere in Maine together that Cathy had heard about. I don't remember much about that night. I was on probation and where we were leaving town for the night, I was drinking. I believe we went in my car and Jeremy was the designated driver. I probably made an ass of myself at some point that night. That sometimes happened when I was drinking Vodka. I recall Amanda and I were drinking "Sex on The Beaches" that evening. Kassidy may have been with Emily that evening. There were things that I liked about Cathy. I loved that she liked the same music that I did. It was rare to find females that

loved Korn, Disturbed, etc. I also liked that she was opinionated and not afraid to share her feelings.

Cathy sometimes seemed to talk down to Amanda. I think she may have been one of the few people that intimidated Amanda a little. I would sometimes say crude things to her for shock value. Usually when I felt she was being condescending to Amanda. For example, if she was being bitchy toward Amanda. I might say, "I love it when you are bitchy....." That would elicit various responses from Cathy. She could think I was a pig, I didn't care. I wasn't there to impress her. It was my way of telling Amanda it wasn't ok for Cathy to be mean to her. You have to remember, at the time, I thought Amanda and all her friends were in that 20-21 age group, but they were actually younger.

You asked about any other concerts, dates, appointments, etc. A lot of it is still blank to me. I wish we could come up with some more "artifacts" from that time period as it always seems to help. I am pretty sure that I went with Jeremy, Bruce, and another friend and former employee, Matt Skidds, to play a round of golf at Nippo Golf club. I believe it is in Barrington NH. We played best ball. I think this was September. I remember it being after the summer because both Jeremy and I were there. We were playing best ball, and I believe Bruce and I were partners. I was driving ok that day but everything else was horrible until we got to the last hole. I sank like a 35 foot putt that Bruce had put on the green. We all erupted in disbelief. I remember the "Fuddy Duddy's" around us giving us the evil eye. It was a morning game as I recall working later that day. Thus, we were not drinking. Kyle would have been at school and Kassidy and Amanda likely at home.

Stephanie and Mike Bolduc's wedding was not during the 160 day "Amanda" period. It was prior to me meeting Amanda as I escorted one of Stephanie's friends from the Kiwanis to the wedding. Her name escapes me right now but she was very sweet. She ultimately became Jeff Jacob's girlfriend.

I will write more memories as they come to me. You mentioned having a friend that lived in Kingston NH. That is ironic. Bob McDougall had lived in Kingston with his wife, Jef, for many years. I didn't really have any restaurants close to Kingston but I drove through it often because it was about 15 minutes from our main office in Windham. (Near Canobie Lake Park) My closest

restaurants to Kingston were either the Hampton's or the Methuen's.

I hope this helps some.
August 4, 2010 (181H)

A couple of quick notes for you about the enclosed newspaper stuff. The article about keeping secrets was kind of interesting. I highlighted one small section from it. It made me think a little of my case and Kyle. Children are horrible at keeping secrets. It's like Tristan told Det. Linscott back then, "If Kyle had witnessed anything (me doing something to Kassidy) he would have told me about it. That child blabs about everything." (or something very close.)

It's crazy to think that I could have gotten him to keep it secret even if I wanted him to. This must have been why the police/prosecutors originally theorized that I did something to Kassidy during that 30 minute period when we were alone in the car on the way to pick up Kyle. This is why I wanted Alan to ask that specific question. Personally, I would have thought after impounding my car for several weeks and finding zero physical evidence, it might have started at least one officer to question his/her assumptions about my actions.

What happened to Kassidy appeared to have been brutal. If I had done something in the car, someone would have seen me, or some physical evidence would have been there. If I did it at home, even if it was after Kyle went to bed, or something, he would have heard something. Kassidy and Kyle's rooms were connected and both slept with the doors open.

I'm thankful in many ways that this was so long ago and Kyle has no memory of it, the Kassidy situation, etc. In at least one respect, I wish he did have memories of that time, and that would be of the care that I showed for him and Kassidy back then.
August 6, 2010. (182)

I know I'm skipping several letters (10 or so) to get to this one but after receiving a bunch last evening, this seemed like the one with the most critical info in it.

You asked about some of Becky's friends Becky Garland Ebare, Shawn Maccabee, Penelope Peabody, and Tommy Mcquade. I wonder if Tommy is related to a former guard, Mcquade, from Strafford County Jail. I know this officer lived in Rochester and Bruce Aube's dad was friends with him. Anyway, I know Becky Garland said that she worked for me but without a photo, I cannot verify. I am great with faces, not as good with names.

The good thing about Becky Garland Ebare is she starts out saying I'm guilty and then quickly says, "I may not have all my facts correct either." The good news is she wasn't alone. Anyone that relied on the newspapers didn't have the facts right. So this presents opportunity. I'm still shocked in this day and age to find so many people that believe everything they read in a newspaper as fact. The trial itself was very slanted and didn't present all the facts. The newspapers even less. I can't fault society but why are they so quick to believe everything they read and then when someone refutes it, and tries to provide tangible proof, they are quick to dismiss it. Overall, I do not know any of these four people. Wish there was a way to get some dialogue started with them. Perhaps someday, we'll be able to figure out how to do an online chat, where these people can ask questions or something.

Regarding Jackie Conley's comments to our website and her claim about Kassidy's comment "Chad Bad," this is sad really. I can empathize with Jackie's pain. I can only imagine how much she misses Kassidy. I know how much I miss Kass every day, and she was Jackie's blood. The reality is, if Kassidy has really said something like that then, rest assured, Jackie would have told the prosecutors during their preparation meetings for my trial and they would have somehow worked it in during Jackie's testimony. I know Jackie wants so badly to believe it was me. That would be easier. I hope that someday she will be able to come to what she must know deep down. The only thing that I have ever heard that was remotely close was when she started stringing words together, Amanda would tell me upon arriving home, "Kassidy has been asking for you all day. She keeps looking for you and saying, 'Where's Chad?'"

Whenever I heard this, it made my day. How could it not? I recall one time several weeks to a month before Kassidy died, Amanda called my cell phone and said, "Someone's been asking for you all day. Hold on a minute." Next thing I hear is Amanda whispering in the background say "Hi," and then I hear Kassidy's little voice saying "Hiiii". It was perfect timing because I am 99% sure I was in Greenland having a rough day and this made it all better. I bet if we can get hold of those cell phone bills and my October calendar, I could pin down the day. I don't mean to sound sarcastic, but I don't believe 20-month old Kassidy was looking for me because she was afraid of me coming home to abuse her. As I have told you since the beginning, I had some bonding issues with Kassidy those first few weeks. I was some happy when months later Amanda would tell me that Kassidy was saying "Where's Chad?" all day, looking for me. Those are happy memories, I will never forget. I know they made Amanda pretty proud too.

Nice response to Jackie on our webpage. Hey, I hope she is really reading. At some point, I pray her mind will open. Right now, I'm sure she is reading everything with disbelief and looking for something to say, "Ah hah, I've gotcha" Perhaps in time, truth will be her main focus.

Ok, so now I am going to write about cocaine abuse, these claims by this friend of Becky's that is afraid of me, etc. This was the issue that kept me up all night, thinking and also planning a response that wasn't off the handle. I hope you will share this entire letter with Becky. I figured you could scan and email faster than I could get a copy made for her. I don't mind re-answering any of your questions, Morrison. It's the ridiculous accusations that I struggle with. I've done enough of my own stupid things and don't understand why people feel the need to add to my troubles by making things up or believing stupid rumors. This is one of those times that I wish I could have that be part of the lie detector questions. This cocaine addiction, grabbing Amanda by the throat and partying with the kids issue. Some things I am unclear on, but these are things that I KNOW to be true. I have NEVER picked Amanda up by the throat and told her that I was going to kill her or Kassidy. I have NEVER done cocaine with Kassidy around nor any child. In fact, I'm confident that the only drinking I did around Kassidy was the occasional beer or two when watching Sunday football at Bruce's house.

It is true that I could knock back my share of beer. I will refer you to Jeremy Hinton's interview where the officer asked Jeremy if he felt I had a drinking problem. Jeremy stated, something to the effect of, "Yes, the guy can drink a case of beer and still walk straight, don't you consider that a problem?" But by the time 2000 rolled around my drinking was much less. I was 28 years old by then and settling down. In fact, the only excessive drinking I did that year was when Amanda and I were away from the kids. Either up in Pittsburgh with Bruce's parents where I was doing a lot of "showing off" drinking and a few times that I was with Bruce and Michelle.

Someone claiming they partied with Amanda and I and especially claiming they partied with Tristan and I where Tristan and I used cocaine is infuriating and a LIE. Tristan was pretty laid back about most things. She never was overly demanding, and was pretty great but she would NEVER touch cocaine. I recall once shortly after she and I got married, I had a friend from out-of-state who was planning to visit once. He talked about bringing a little with him. I mentioned this to Tristan and she very clearly said, "I don't want that shit in my house and I don't want you doing it." Tristan

never placed demands, so when she made this one, I wasn't about to disobey. That was the end of it. Tristan and I would drink together on occasions and there were times, especially early 90's when I drank to excess, but cocaine, NEVER. I wracked my brain last night and can come up with 4-5 times that I have experimented with cocaine. Once while in high school. This was the heaviest use. Myself and a couple of friends bought an 8 ball, whatever that is, and shared it all evening. Once,

shortly after high school. Once, while snowmobiling with a friend in the 90's we each snorted a line. And two occasions that I can recall with Amanda. We were with a couple once and with some people at a large biker party. Both times we snorted a line or two each. I recall the evening of the biker party it was an all night party and I had worked all day. We wanted to stay awake and watch the bands play until the morning. And we did. I didn't do cocaine more than this because quite honestly, I liked it. It is like a businessman's dream. I could stay awake forever and I already required very little sleep. Imagine what I could have accomplished... These were all fun times vs. aggressive. In time I learned that Vodka seemed to be the alcohol that could make me aggressive so I avoided it, even though it was my favorite. If I ever grabbed Amanda by the throat and threatened to kill her, I must have been on one hell of a bender and will eat my shorts. This is how confident I am that it didn't happen. I have not provided names of any of the friends that I tried cocaine with because it is my life, my recreational use, and my experimentation that is under a microscope,

not theirs.