The Muse's Advisory typed & spellchecked by Tom Riordan
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- Remission - Muses Advisory, June 6 - Tom
- At the Front Desk of the Margaret Hotel - Muses Advisory, June 7 – Yusuf to St. Paul the White Cockatoo
- A Straightforward Hail Mary - Muses Advisory, June 8 – Yusuf to the Sudfa Barflies
- Whos Who - Muses Advisory, June 9 – Miriam to Zeus
- Drink 1, Sudfa Bar - Muses Advisory, June 10 – Miriam to Yusuf
- Drink 2, Sudfa Bar - Muses Advisory, June 11 – Yusuf to Miriam
- At Mahmoods Sweet Shop Down the Street from the Sudfa Bar - Muses Advisory, June 12 – Yusufs Buddy to Zeus
- Will Swap Gossip for Pinenuts” - Muses Advisory, June 13 – St. Paul the Parrot to the Margaret Concierge
- Drink 3, Sudfa Bar - Muses Advisory, June 14 – Miriam to Yusuf
- The Bolt Zeus Cast - Muses Advisory, June 15 – Urania
- Pandemonium - Muses Advisory, June 16 – Thalia
- Pandemonium II - Muses Advisory, June 17 – Thalia, cont.
Nasir's Custom Cabinets ناصر خزائن حسب الطلب--- Muse's Advisory, June 5 – Nasir to Miriam: Five years ago, I'd guess? Gave him a dozen second chances, then I sacked him. Late, late, late, late, late. I think he had a taste for drink and trouble getting up. Completely solid otherwise, salt of the earth, a real straight arrow— but I couldn't run a business without knowing when and if my go-to guy was going come in. The last straw? This big Russian guy who lived in Migdal HaEmek came in one day at 9 o'clock. I don't know where his money came from, but a real big spender, all cash, wanted built-in bookshelves, cabinets. Knew Yusuf's craftsmanship and wanted only him. Unfortunately, homey picks that day to wander in at 10. The rich alimai had just left. Where does he live? Dunno. Bir el-Amir, back then— near Taha's place? Do you know him, our beautiful poet? The minute I see her, I'll know her, and recognize the catastrophic rings hanging from her tender neck. I'll know her clear spring's glance, the gazing dew like the dream of a lake. I'll know her soft velvet footfalls, her paces measured like the breaths of lettuce seedlings. Yusuf had a gorgeous place there but without a paycheck would have had to move. A pricey house is like a woman, no? Without the shekels, you can't keep her. You're not his ex, by any chance? Oh, what a torch he carried, that poor man! No other woman meant two agorot. I'd say “Now there's a vision!” but he wouldn't even look. Sure, sure, I pass him on the street sometimes. I look the other way. It's awkward since the firing. But next time, sure, I'll tell him— Miriam, you said?— “The very lovely Miriam said hi and left her forwarding address with the Desk at the Margaret.” Remission - Muse's Advisory, June 6 - Tom: The rumor is it's Zeus and Miriam up at the shrine— the first time in millennia none of the nine are up front servicing the line. It's really kind of nice, the idea that we're staying put tonight. The field is sprouting little fires, and ghost tales bloom. The stars creep lower, thick and comforting as fleece. I wonder how long we would sit ambitionless if all the muses stayed away? Let's say Zeus talked them into an extended family trip. At 4 a.m., another rumor sweeps the drowsy line that snakes and doubles around groves of cherry trees and wreathes the hillsides like a cursive script— that Mother Memory has come back too. Fresh tinder crackles inside hearts and minds; attached leaves kindle, chatter in the virgin heat; white streaks crisscross subconscious sky, and fallow quarters wake; lips flutter as the muses' mother whispers by, enspheres the shrine and filters in the doors where her nine daughters with their father and his whore sit sociably inside. Oh, to be a fly on that wall!But the caress of fresh recall breathes so much witching on the field, the soot-clothed embers hush and settle till they're dead. No muse
At the Front Desk of the Margaret Hotel - Muse's Advisory, June 7 – Yusuf to St. Paul the White Cockatoo: You're a handsome bird, a little beaten up, but I can tell that in your prime you were a stunning buck. Where is the concierge? Do you expect she'll be back soon? Are you a talking cockatoo?— not that I ever understood what people think they get from talking birds. It would be great if you could tell us what it's like to be your kind, or what you really think of us. But all this Polly-want-a-cracker— “ Fuck!”Did you say Fuck?I must be hearing things. Nobody at a hotel desk is going to teach a bird to talk like that! Bonjour, madame. Gut' Tag, mein Herr. But fuck is more a kitchen bird or out-above-the-dumpster fare. I know. I raised a son who couldn't keep his mouth shut either, and they crucified him for it. Christ? Yeshua? Ever heard of him? No, likely not. I don't think parrots were a big concern of his, and it was quite a long way back. A Straightforward Hail Mary - Muse's Advisory, June 8 – Yusuf to the Sudfa Barflies: I left a note inviting her to meet me here for a drink at three. Can I trust you morons not to ruin it for me if she shows up? Most likely she won't but if she does I want you all to be polite. Just let us sit and talk. Don't fawn on her or ask for intercessions. Think of her as my ex, not a world-famous saint. Do you fawn on me? No. Exactly. But if her Greek comes too, here's what I need you to do. Muhammad, you hustle him out of here— I know you'll think of a dodge. Keep him away for twenty minutes. I'm planning to plead my case directly to madonna and without any hemming or hawing. If she says yes, good. If she says no, I'll accept that. When you return with the Greek god
If it's no, I won't wave at all. Then ask her for whatever you want. Who's Who - Muse's Advisory, June 9 – Miriam to Zeus: I would like you to meet him, dear,but not today. So many years, I'll barely recognize his face myself. Don't pout. I'm not about to run away with him. One drink— and if he's not obnoxious or too sad, I'll ask him here for lunch one day this week. What did I see in him? I saw a man whose love was stronger than his pride, who married me despite— no, not despite, he said that fatherhood appealed to him— that little jam you left me in. You didn't cuckold him: he took your egg, your woman and your place, and all because you couldn't face your own responsibility. Yes, eventually he left. Do I regret it that he did? I do. It's not because I love him more than you, but in my mind it's possible Yeshua might have turned his life around if Yusuf and his steady hand had stayed in town. A few days after he walked out, Yeshua and I went to Cana for a wedding. That was when the worst shenanigans began. I told him, You're too young to drink, but he devised this cockamamie plan— one of the servers filled his goblet from the water jug, but it was wine. That wouldn't have happened when Yusuf was there. They were good for each other, although it wasn't always clear. They fought. They both thought they were wiser than they were. They huffed and blew like gales. But counterbalance, even competition, is so critical for males. So yes, I wish that he had stayed. I wish Yeshua had grown up just one or two years more before he struck out on his own. Over- protective?When she's watched her child writhing on a crucifix, yeah, I suppose a mother tends to think that way. Drink #1, Sudfa Bar - Muse's Advisory, June 10 – Miriam to Yusuf: You look the same— a more significantly bloated nose and slightly rheumy eyes, skinnier arms, skinnier thighs, big liver splotches on your skin, and 95% less hair— I'd recognize you anywhere, the essential you unaged— straightforwardness of gaze, simplicity of overall demeanor, wry and kindly creases twinkling on your cheeks. Don't tell me how I look— I'm still too vain to drink one droplet of the truth! I'm pleasantly surprised how pleased I am you left that note. That cockatoo, is he a trip, or what? I hope he didn't shock you with— do Muslims curse?—his Fuck. Oh, listen. Here I'm rattling on. Yes, please, Miss, just a glass of wine, whatever Yusuf has is fine. It's just like in the old days, no? Me jabbering, you holding your peace. I like this place. They seem to know you well. How long have you been back? I hear you still make cabinets. You always had such talent, such a knack for making each drawer fit. But I'm beating around the bush. You heard what happened to Yeshua, yes? Oh God, Yusuf! I'm sorry I made such a mess of things for us! Ah, thank you, Miss. Do you know this old coot's my ex? We used to live in Nazareth, back there where all the churches are today. He cut a dashing figure in his youth! Well, not quite youth, let's say his middle manliness. Where have they taken Zeus? A bakery? Perfect. Everyone from Crete has such a sweet-tooth! I feel young, here, with you again. So much has happened, bad and good. I'll try to bring you up to speed. But you said you had something that you wanted to bring up with me? Drink #2, Sudfa Bar - Muse's Advisory, June 11 – Yusuf to Miriam: I have to laugh. You haven't changed a bit: delightful chatterbox. You've charmed the barmaid so, she wants to take you home. You know me, straight to the point, so here I go: I want to re-unite. I love you, and I never stopped. I dream about your touch. I want you as my wife. Your guy from Crete seems nice. It's not my style to run him down. I'm sure he has his charms. But it's impossible for me to buy that any other man can find the joy that I have in your arms. I wrote down several lines our famous poet wrote. Don't laugh. You know I don't have eloquence. But I recognize it when I hear it. You asked me once, on our way back from the midmorning trip to the spring: 'What do you hate, and who do you love?' Is that a lovely start, or what? He has another one I know by heart: After all these years, long as the graveyard wall is long, I still ask the grass of the field about you, and dirt paths. Why should a plain man try to gild his throat when there's a guy like Taha he can quote? You know exactly what I love: you, straight-grained board, sometimes a glass of wine or two. I'm not the complicated kind. And hate? The very thought that you'll walk out of here with that infernal Greek and I will never feel again the way I feel right now. I hate what happened to our son, feel rotten that I left you both when things got tough. I know I don't deserve you back. That's not the basis of my plea at all. The only grounds I have to ask for your forgiveness is how sad I am. And I hate what's happening to Nazareth, to Palestine. I'm something of a patriot, I guess. Israel has really made a mess: another cage within a cage those right-wing settlements— Yes, honey, please, two more— that bullshit at the Western Wall has gotten so far up our ass, our farts make more sense than our manifestos and our protests. How does it seem to you?— you always have your finger to the breeze. Are you inspired to stick around and lend a helping hand at all? At Mahmood's Sweet Shop Down the Street from the Sudfa Bar - Muse's Advisory, June 12 – Yusuf's Buddy to Zeus: One more mamoul, friend?Yusuf told me half an hour— thinks himself a man of frugal speech but probably has yet to reach the far end of his first parenthesis! Are these things great? Reminds you of the what on Crete? Koo-rob-yay-theez? That's a mouthful! Ha! Ho, ho! Great pastries still are sweet regardless of how dumb their name is! No, I don't mean to offend! Here, have another cup of this metel-nut tea. Koo-rob-yay-thee is just the name I'd want if I was reborn as a cookie on that godforsaken rockpile you call Crete. Hey! Hey!Don't get so heated up! Just ribbing you! Your country can't be any stonier than this! It's not an insult, just an observation, yes? Just like we both have veins awash with wild North African blood. Whoa, Zeussy! Sit down! Put that ax back in your pussy! This is not that rat's-nest pirate's lair Heraklion! Mahmood, quick, call the mishteret! Let's see how Cretan bigshots like the famous Israeli anti-riot treatment. “Will Swap Gossip for Pinenuts” - Muse's Advisory, June 13 – St. Paul the Parrot to the Margaret Concierge: You should have seen him.
Then when Zeus and Miriam came back and read his note, fuck! —sorry, I mean, whoa!— oh, what a fight! Pak Zeus said, “I won't let you go and drink with him,” but she just stared him down and said, “I didn't ask.” He turned red as a Moluccan lory, stormed upstairs in such a fury that the hotel shuddered with the boom of hooves on well-kept wood. Oh no! He isn't gentle when he's mad! That's why I think my having been abandoned here is not that bad. You're sweeter and you take my care and maintenance more seriously. You kiss; he gives a painful swat. You change my water every day; he, once a week. I'm not complaining— owe that god my life and more. But once you reach a certain age the creature comforts take on more allure. God, I would kill to be a gecko on the ceiling of the bar! That skinny little carpenter has no clue what he's in for! If he has any sense at all he'll skitter underneath his ex's skirt and tremble like a mousedeer fawn until the coast is clear. Drink #3, Sudfa Bar - Muse's Advisory, June 14 – Miriam to Yusuf: I'm blown away. I don't know what to say. How do a fallen limb like me and sapwood like Yeshua wind up more illustrious than polished heartwood like yourself? The greatest actors aren't even in the audience on Oscars night and sages say we never find the apple of our eye in limelight. The sad sight here: you barking up a crab-tree
as if desire turned a starling to a wife. I wish it could. I wish I could say yes. I wish the simple sweetness of a man like you could sweat in through my knotty crust. But I say no. I must .The Bolt Zeus Cast - Muse's Advisory, June 15 – Urania: The bolt Zeus cast at the flashing lights on the roof of the van of the mishteret went way awry, this being his first clash with new Israeli anti-terrorist technology. Mahmood said it shot into the heavens, west, and looked like it was bound for Crete— and the radar at the Polemikí Aerodrómio picked something up, a streak over the island and still gaining altitude. But none of the NATO dishes tracked it, and that would have been that except for the elderly gentleman walking along Saratoga Creek with his surviving sister Lawanna after their youngest sister Ethel Mae's funeral repast at the Noel Baptist Church in southwest Missouri, who near tripped over the three and a half foot long iron shaft with its jagged forked end. “John Cantell,” Lawanna said, “the day you witnessed that oak tree split in half by a hoop snake, I said My brother is anointed for some grand purpose—and this, doggonit, proves it.” The very next day he drove it down to his old friend Bryon Warren in Gravette, Arkansas, who was a substitute teacher as well as the firehouse chief and a pretty fair barbecue pitmaster, and asked him if he'd ever seen anything like it. Byron said “No I hain't,” and they both walked it over to Dodie Evans at the News Herald. Dodie front-paged it the very next week and ran a quote from Professor Pappas at the state university down Fayetteville who had driven up to John's to examine the bolt and said, “The discovery of any Zeusian artifact in the New World would be of utmost interest. Is John Cantell's forked shaft of iron actually a projectile hurled by the supreme god of Antiquity? “I would have to characterize that question as one whose entertainment value must considerably exceed the archeological.” Pandemonium - Muse's Advisory, June 16 – Thalia: They hear the shouts— Greek, Hebrew, Arabic— and then an Uzi burst. Two barmaids tumble out into the street in time to glimpse two cops charge past. Yusuf and Miriam leap to their feet as a siren adds a dizzying soprano to the wild cacophony. Had the intifada broken out again? the absentees been chased again by gunmen on the pine paths of the abbey of al-Mujaydil, where figs and pomegranates sprout and wither on the roof of the abandoned chapel? “No, no! It was a Greek! He tried to kill an Arab man in Mahmood's Sweet Shop— over nothing, just like that! So Mahmood called the cops! “ “It was a Cretan, not a Greek! I myself heard Mahmood very definitely say Crete!” “Crete is Greece, moron! Shit!” “Now you're an anthropologist?” The green-grocer swore she heard hooves clattering— or was it just the rat-tat-tat of small-arms fire making the stucco and cobblestones chatter? A cabbie swore he saw the fleeing Cretan, Greek, whatever, leap a dozen cars and vespas! A pensioner snapped a picture on his cell that showed beyond a shadow's doubt lips flecked with spittle and the widely flared and foam-frothed nostrils of a Jedran stallion in a fury, or aroused. Pandemonium II - Muse's Advisory, June 17 – Thalia, cont.: Miriam shoots Yusuf a terrified look and dashes out into the swelling crowd herself. He tries to stop her but the raucous mob's too thick. Up runs Muhammad with a crudely bandaged hand and head, a broad grin fattening his beard. “I did it, man!” he cries and slaps his buddy's back. “This drink's on me, yes? Yes!” Crestfallen, Yusuf trails him back into the bar. The owner nods from the back room: the barmaid bypasses the usual Gold Star, pours Tabor to the brim for them to toast: "Another victory! To Palestinians!" The jubilation's so contagious, Yusuf half forgets he's been rejected; then shrugs and thinks, "Let liquor do its job." No one goes back to work. The bar fills up, high spirits multiplying. Every couple minutes some new messenger bursts in and cries, "They shot him dead up by the Margaret!" "He's gotten clean away! The mishterethave given up!" "The cops were just about to nab the Greek, when this half-naked henchman sprang right out of nowhere with a club and knocked the Jew swine off their feet!" Back to the Gold Star, unfortunately. Then no more wine at all, as Yusuf and Muhammad's pockets both grow bare of sheqalim. The euphoria tatters, and night, so ignorant of victories, undresses just as quietly as ever. Directory: files files -> Answer True False 2 points Question 2 files -> Integer programming and game theory files -> 4 Integer Programming files -> Bpa vehicle Window Repair Scenario #1 task: Procure vehicle window relacement. Objective files -> Pop Warner History files -> North Carolina Inclusion Initiative Mapping Where Children with ieps are Being Served Purpose files -> Fall 2013 Spring 2014 Program Data: Standard 1 Exhibit 4d files -> Hanban – asia society confucius classrooms network 2010 request for proposal files -> Northern England’s set-jetting locations Download 1.87 Mb. Share with your friends:
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