For you who wants to know more Nonviolence & Conflict Management
Active/empathetic/controlled listening
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- A nonviolence strategy for social change
Active/empathetic/controlled listeningMichael Ende has written the book Momo, and the struggle for time. The book portrays a town to which “the grey man” arrives. The man is a sort of time banker who deceives people into saving time in their banks so that they withdraw it in the future. The result is that people stop doing everything they do not gave to do, to save as mush time as possible. Nobody has time for anyone else, friends and relationships become unimportant and all that is left is a grey, boring workday. In a deserted theatre in the town, lives a girl named Momo. Momo is the only person in town that has time for others. Men and women throng to her to speak of their problems and thoughts. They do not do it because Momo has a solution for everyone, but just because she listens. Momo listens so intensively and attentively that they feel unburdened and happy when they have visited her. The book illustrates the power to be found in listening and how wonderful it is when we have someone who really listens to us and cares about us. There is a great difference in listening and waiting your turn to speak. To actively listen to a person you need to show both interest and involvement. Here are some tips for an active listener:
A nonviolence strategy for social changeThe model below is an adaptation of Dr Martin Luther Kings Six Basic Steps towards Social Change. 1. Collect information. To be able to understand and speak clearly about a problem on an injustice you need to obtain knowledge. You need to collect as much information as possible from both sides to increase your understanding of the problem. You need to be an expert on your opponent’s position and try to understand the motives and truth behind their position. 2. Training. It is crucial to inform others, including your opposition, of your point of issue. It lessens the risk of misunderstanding and increases sympathy and support. This does not mean that you should try to “convert” people. Speak from the heart as well as the head. It is important to see who you are trying to train.
Most important is to be creative! You can use letters to the press, press conferences, and lecturers, carry out public debates with civic interviewers, build coalitions and dramatise points of issue publicly, organise demonstrations and send statements to priests, rabbis and other religious leaders. 3. Personal commitment Make a daily check of and confirm your belief in the methods and philosophy of non-violence. Remove hidden motives and prepare yourself for accepting suffering if it should be necessary in your work for justice. 4. Negotiations. Listen to your opponent’s feelings, ideas and opinions. Be empathetic towards their feelings and look for that which is positive in their acts and statements. Be open to change in your own position but be clear with yourself in what you are prepared to negotiate around. Give tour opponent information on what you think can influence them and be concise in your analysis. Present your plan for meeting the issue, inclusive of changes you expect your opponent to make. Look for positive ways of solving differences. Reflect over how much power, you as a citizen have if it is not possible to achieve a solution. How can you increase your power if you should need to? Be careful never to humiliate your opponent or force him/her into a corner. Instead speak well of the good in your opponent and look for ways in which your opponent can also win. 5. Direct action. These are actions which are carried out in order to influence or morally force someone to work with you in order to solve certain injustices. Direct action brings an element of tension to a conflict. There are a number of direct actions that can be used (see e.g. the body of nonviolence). Direct action is usually most effective when it illustrates the injustice it seeks to correct and when it shows how, instead, it could be. Remember to:
6. Reconciliation. Non-violence seeks friendship with and understanding for the opponent. Non.-violence does not try to beat the other part. Non-violence is aimed at oppressive systems and policies, and injustice and evil actions, not against people. Reconciliation means s allowing the opponent to “save face”. Each action of reconciliation is a step nearer the “beloved community”. Through this, not only individuals but the whole community becomes strengthened, which in its turn brings new struggles for justice…. TRAINING
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