experience itself. If it’s a parent, then overtime, children will attach to that caregiver and think that the emotions they feel
from the experience are normal, because they don’t yet have the ability to analyze the situation. This is how early-childhood experiences become subconscious states of being.
Although Laurie didn’t know this when her condition was diagnosed,
the emotionally charged events she experienced growing up with her father had been branded into her implicit memory system beyond her conscious mind, programming her biology. Her reaction to her father’s anger—feeling weak,
powerless, vulnerable, stressed, and fearful every single day—then became part of her autonomic nervous system so that her body chemically memorized these emotions and the environment signaled the genes associated with her disorder to turn on. Because
that response was autonomic, she wouldn’t be able to change it as long as she stayed trapped in her emotional body. She could only analyze her state of being equal to the emotions of her past, even though the answers she needed existed beyond those emotions.
Once Laurie received the fibrous dysplasia diagnosis, her mother immediately proclaimed to the entire family that Laurie had been officially pronounced fragile by modern medicine—so she was safe from her father’s physical violence. Although he continued to emotionally and verbally abuse Laurie (right up until his death 15
years later, her disease,
ironically, protected her from further physical abuse.
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