Moses: gentle, meek (Num. 12:10; 16:33).
Godhead: mutual submission. Was Jesus any less God because He said: “not my will but thine” while he was on earth?
Christ ‘ruled’ from the position of the servant (Matt. 20:25-28). He washed the feet of the disciples as a “doulos” (John 13).
Ephesians 5:21 – mutual submission
Eph. 5:23 – “gave himself up”
Ep. 5:25 – “gave himself up”
Phil. 2:3-4 – “do nothing for selfishness”
Luke 22:24-27 – “not to be served but to serve”
Gal. 5:13 – called in freedom…to serve through love
RULER SERVANT
Is Served Serves
Wants his will done Does will of others
Takes Gives
Is placed on a pedestal Inconspicuous
But submission comes only to the totally submitted:
to God (Phil. 2:5)
to government (Rom. 13)
to employer (Eph. 6:5).
The authority the husband is not his. It comes from God. It is a gift. He must be a good steward.
Wives complaints about their husbands’ leadership fall in three categories:
stubborn
proud
refuses to read, to learn, to grow
Other scriptures speak here:
Genesis 3:16 "To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.""
1 Corinthians 11:1-3: "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ. I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings, just as I passed them on to you. Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man,
and the head of Christ is God."
Ephesians 5:23 "For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior."
Every institution must have a head who is responsible for its efficient management. The home is no exception to this rule.
Christ's authority in the home is centered in the husband. It is not centered in the wife or in the children. God deposited His authority for the family primarily in the husband. It is his responsibility to see that it is exercised, and exercised properly in ways that honor Christ. They
must truly lead the home.
God's heavenly pattern has placed man in the position of head of his family. But some men have seemingly assumed that "head of the house" is a mere honorary title which involves no responsibility. Not so! Headship means leadership. It does not mean merely privilege and right...or rank. It does not mean merely authority to exercise.
In a real sense, nothing must go on in his home of which he is not aware. Nothing should happen to his children over which he does not have surveillance and, indeed, the final say. If trouble arises, it is the husband's responsibility to solved it. He is the leader! He must assume this leadership role, not just proclaim it.
Wives must be willing to grant the husband his proper authority (Titus 2:5: "...to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.")
This leadership does not mean the crushing of a wife's talents and gifts. It does not mean making all of the decisions without reference to her or the children, or giving to her no power to make decisions or to do anything on her own. When a man forces his wife to do his will, he denies
her the responsibility of making her own choices.
The ruler is served…wants his will done…takes…is placed on a pedestal. The servant serves…does will of others…gives…inconspicious. The authority the husband has is not his…it comes from God…it is a gift. We must be good stewards. A good manager knows how to put other people to work!
3. The Christian Father-Husband Loves and Cares For His Family
What do we teach about how to love? It comes from Paul and Ephesians 5, with Christ as the model. Husbands are to love their wives "even as Christ also loves the church" (Eph. 5:25).
In this important text dealing with relationships, we have seven "as" statements which serve as models for us:
"as" the Lord "as" Christ is the head
"as" the church is subject "as" Christ loved the church
"as" their own bodies "as" Christ does the church
"as" himself
The love and headship of Jesus Christ, in contrast to the faulty obedience of His people to Him, is perfect. It is always proper, wise, and right.
There has never been a single incident involving Christ and His relationship to the church that would cause his love for her to be called into question. To be quite honest, the task is too great for sinful, weak human beings. We simply cannot duplicate Christ upon this earth! .... unless the Spirit of God is allowed to work in the life of that individual.
When we fail as human beings, by the Spirit's help, we not only fail our families, but we also fail represent our Lord's love for His church!
Loving others is a teaching process compared to a feeling. “We must understand love. We must be able to teach it, to create it, to predict it, or else the world is lost to hostility and suspicion.” From Motivation and Personality, by Abraham Maslow.
A child does automatically know how to love…unless we teach our children how to love.” From The Human Mind, by Karl Menninger.
Marital love is like a seesaw – each making up the other’s lows. Love is an action, a decision, a choice, a commitment. “It is easier to act yourself into a better way of feeling than to feel yourself into a better way of acting.” – O. Hobard Mowrer.
A Christian husband and father is never untrustworthy with his sincere affection. His expressions of love may not be as emotional or romantic as those of a wife and mother, but his love is stble and secure. The security which comes to a wife and children who know the depth of this man's love must be a foretaste of heaven.
Many children are emotionally starved for the affection of their fathers. This is especially true of little boys, who need time with their dads. No man can excuse himself from doing his part in the rearing of his children. One of the primary expressions of a father's love for his family is his willingness to work hard to provide for his family. One of the most revolting sights under heaven is the sight of a lazy, worthless man who refuses to provide for his own family!
Paul had this to say about this individual: "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8).
But some have suggested that equally repulsive as this is the man who is selfish with the money he makes. He uses the bulk of his money to have his own good time and forces his family to do without many things they really need. The Christian father-husband works hard to provide for his
family and is generous in providing for their needs. And, whenever possible, he finds great happiness in being able to give "little extras" to the family he loves so much.
The headship of Jesus Christ involves a deep concern for the church. That is the kind of leadership that husbands are called to exercise over their wives. It is a headship that ministers to the wife, a headship that is concerned about her. It is a headship of love that is oriented toward doing all that one can do for his wife, even to the point of death!
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