Googly written by Mehul Oza May 11, 2009 int. Day dressing room of cricketers
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COACH CONTINUES (saying with very serious expressions on his face.) Door videsho me jab bachhe out ho jate hain to maaye kaheti hain, “Achhe se khelo beta warana Coach Singh aa jayega!” Aur tumane mera naam Vanakhede ki mitti me mila diya? Kya soch kar aaye the? Coach bahot khush hoga? Tumhe Man of the Match ka award dega? Bahot galat soch kar aaye the! (To his Assistant Sinha who is standing close by.) Are oh Sinha! Kitani gende hoti hai re ek over me?
Chhe gende coach! Coach asks for balls signaling with hand. Assistant walks towards the ballboy, takes box of balls from him and throws six balls at him in quick succession. Coach drops them and feels embarrassed. Sanjit and others pick them up and give them to coach. COACH (finds managing six balls difficult and looks at players in anger before saying.) Gende chhe aur khiladi char? Bahot na-insafi hai. (Throws away two balls with smacking sound. SMACK! SMACK! Then he says in anger.) Ab thik hai. Haan. Ab thik hai.
(to his assistant Sinha.) Yeh to bach gaya!
Haan coach. Coach throws a ball at Sunil with swooshing sound. Sunil can't grab the catch, tosses the ball in air with his fist but catches it on second attempt. After catching the ball Sunil looks very relaxed but finds coach looking at him angrily. It scares Sunil and he too looks down at ground. COACH (to his assistant Sinha.) Yeh bhi bach gaya.
Haan coach. Yeh bhi bach gaya. Coach throws ball at Vijay suddenly. Vijay catches ball too and looks down at ground in fear. COACH Yeh bhi bach gaya. SINHA Yeh bhi bach gaya coach. COACH (saying to Anil.) Ab tera kya hoga Aniliya?
(scared.) Maine to aap se training li hai coach.
To ab catch le. Throws ball at Anil. Chandra is eagerly looking at them. From Anil’s point of view ball looks like football rushing to his face. He catches too. It makes Chandra very happy. All four players are happy too. COACH Yeh bhi bach gaya! SINHA (eagerly looking at coach.) Haan coach. Yeh bhi bach gaya.
(laughs and says.) Tino bach gaye.
(Laughs too and says.) Tino bach gaye.
(laughs more and says loudly.) Tino bach gaye.
(Laughs more and says loudly too.) Tino bach gaye.
(he walks very close to players. Players are looking down.) Ab main aap logo ko batata hu ki badalana kya hota hai. Sari ki sari training badal kar na rakh du to mera naam bhi Singh nahi. (Singh walks away from players. Chandra looks at players resentfully and leaves disappointed. Players walk slowly behind coach.)
(n)Aggar (n)yis (n)baar (n)toomaari (n)teem (n)haar (n)gayee (n)toh (n)may (n)toomhe (n)chhodd (n)kar (n)chalee (n)jawoongi. SANJIT (in same accent.) Tohh may cricket hee chhod kar chala jawoonga.
Aggar toom cricket chhod kar jawoge to mayy khelane chalee jawoongi. SANJIT Aggar toom jeet gayee toh mayy pheer se doubaara vapas laut kar chala aawoonga. ARATI Agar toom pheer say daubara wapas laut kar aa kar bhi haar gaye to may tumhara moondan karawa kar tumhe gadhe par baitha kar, juto ka haar pahena kar, chandani chauk ke char sau chakkar chalawaoongi. SANJIT Aggar ayasi baat hay to may wey chakkar choopchaap chala jaawoonga aur apani haar sweekaar kar loonga. ARATI To mayy tummhe maaf kar dungi. SANJIT Oh Aarati toomm kitani achhi ho. Mere dill me goodagoodi ho rahi hay. ARATI (giggling.) Onhh preeye. Toom keeya kahe rahe ho. Mujhe to badi sharam aa rahi hay.
Oh Aarati! Toom kitani piyari ho! There’s a funny song here in black & white. The song should be in black and white and old-styled too. In this song girlfriend demands victory in cricket from her boyfriend. Her boyfriend assures her of winning. She doesn't believe him. He tries to convince her and then hug her. But she moves away. They sing holding a branch of a tree and losing grip of the branch and holding it again and then falling down after losing the grip of branch again. And then there is strong wind which throws leaves from trees on their heads. So they pick another tree to hold. Then they run around that tree. Then they sit on a park bench which breaks but they continue singing. Then they ride bicycle but fall off the bicycle. Then they ride on a bullock-cart. Bullock-cart's tire punctures and they fall again. Then they see some bulls and they ride bulls. Then they get down and walk. Then they go to their home singing. Song ends. We go back to reality in Sanjit’s home. INT. NIGHT - SANJIT’S APARTMENT Aarati mistakenly slaps Sanjit in sleep when she turns to the other side of the bed. Sanjit’s black & white dream dissolves in lots of colors. He wakes, squats mosquitoes and goes back to sleep. CUT-TO: INT. NIGHT - THEATRE Sunil and Vishakha are watching movie in theatre. VISHAKHA (hugging Sunil’s arm.) Shadi ke baad do mahine kaise bit gaye pata hi nahi chala Sunil.
Shayad mere pyar ne tumhe andha kar diya hoga. VISHAKHA (laughing.) Stop it.
(talking like cricket commentator.) Aur ab hero villain ki aur baddhate hue. Hume dekhana yeh hai Vishakha ki hero villain ko achhe se khel pata hai ya nahi. Mujhe aisa mehasus hota hai ki yeh kaam villain ke liye thoda mushkil hoga Vishakha.
(looking bored.) Kya tum do ghanto ke liye apani cricket bhul nahi sakate ho?
Zarur bhul sakata hu meri heroine. Magar yeh to batao ki mujhe is kaam ke liye kya milega? Slowly turning to kiss her. VISHAKHA (refusing.) Yeh to nahi.
To kya fayada? (Talking like cricket commentator again.) To jaisa ki main kahe raha tha Vishakha toss ho chuka hai aur villain ne batting karane ka faisala kiya hai. Sunil looks at the movie screen. In movie: hero is shouting villain’s name in his hideout. ACTOR IN MOVIE (shouting and elongating word.) JKaaaaaay. Bahar aa kutte. Main janata hoon tune meri Divya ko agawa kar rakha hai. Main tera khun pi jaunga haramzade!
(threateningly.) Tum mera kuchh nahi bigad sakate Ravi. Agar aage baddhe to main tumhari dost ko jaan se maar dunga aur rahi baat khoon pine ki to itana jaan lo ki mera blood group O positive hai aur tumhara O negative. (laughs.)
Meri Divya ko chhod de khooni darinde! VILLAIN Nahi chhodunga parinde. (laughs.)
(looking at screen worriedly.) Sunil ab kya hoga?
(talking like a cricket commentator.) Kuchh kaha nahi ja sakata Vishakha. Dono hi teams behad zoradar khel ka pradarshan kar rahi hain. Agar agale do overs hero achha khele…
(annoyed and interrupting him.) Oh god! Chup karo Sunil!
(continues talking like cricket commentator.) Vishakha mera manana hai ki hume ek Drinks Break lena chahiye.
(to hero who is tied to a pillar.) Mujhe kya bol raha tha? Himmat hai to ab bol.
Haan haan main bolunga. Hazar baar bolunga. Villain slaps hero. Hero shuts up. Heroine in the movie cries and sings a song to god for help. Song puts Sunil to sleep and he sees a dream. AT THE SAME TIME - INSIDE SUNIL'S DREAM - SEATS OF THEATRE Sunil is looking at movie screen and talking to the hero in movie. SUNIL (shouting at the hero in movie.) Gana gana band karo! Tumhe gane ke alawa bhi kuchh karana malum hai ke nahi? Fighting karo fighting.
(looking at Sunil and saying.) Magar kaise fighting karoon mere dost? Mujhe to is kamine ne baandh rakha hai.
(looking at the hero on screen.) Thik hai. Main hi kuchh karata hoon.
It looks like a job for Cricket Man! (His last two words echoe in hall thrice.) Cricket Man! Cricket Man! Cricket Man! Sound of thunder plays. Sunil becomes superhero Cricket Man. Swooshing sound plays in BG. Sunil’s clothes change in white cricketing clothes. His clothes look like Superman's clothes except that his clothes are white in colours and Superman’s are blue and red. His t-shirt has big C (C for cricket) in center. White shawl like Superman's hangs on his back. He also wears cricketing gloves and leg pads. He is holding bat and ball and has three stumps in his backpack. He flies on green-colored sky which reminds us of cricket ground. Theme song of Cricket Man plays in tune of Spiderman’s theme song - “Cricket man, Cricket man. Friendly neighborhood cricket man! He can bat. He can bowl. He can field. He can catch. Watch out! Watch out for Cricket Man! Watch out for Cricket Maaaaaaaaaaaaaan!” He jumps inside the movie screen with bat raised high. SUNIL (jumping in screen and shouting at villain.) Kutteeee!
(saying angrily to villain.) Inhe chhod de kamine nahi to tujhe (Playing with ball in style.) out kar dunga.
Abe oh Tendulakar ki aulad. Tu kahan se aa gaya? Yahan koi cricket match nahi ho raha hai. Yahan se foot le. SUNIL (arrogantly.) Nahi ho raha hai to shuru kar dete hain. Dum ho to aaja maidan par.
Abhi batata hoon tujhe! Sunil sees him coming and prepares to fight. He bowls cricket ball at villain and says SUNIL Himmat hai to mere bouncer ka muqabala kar ke dikha! Ball hurts villain on head. He bleeds and it makes him angry. VILLAIN (angrily telling his accomplices.) Pakado is joker ko!
Joker to ab main tujhe banaunga kamine. Villain’s accomplices run towards Sunil. Sunil takes out bat from his backpack as if it is a sword. There is a rope hanging over his head. Then hangs on rope hovering over his head, swings and hits villain on head with bat. Villain falls but gets up soon. VILLAIN (groans holding his own head.) Aaaah! (to his men.) Ab khade khade dekh kya rahe ho? Maro ise!
Thank you Cricket Man! DIVYA Thank you Cricket Man! Tumane meri laaj rakh li. SUNIL You are welcome my friends. (looking outside of movie screen.) When in trouble call Cricket Man! Then Sunil flies away. He is flying on green sky again. Theme song of Cricket Man plays- “Cricket man, Cricket man. Friendly neighborhood cricket man. He can bat. He can bowl. He can field. He can catch. Watch out! Watch out for cricket man! Watch out for cricket maaaaaaaaaaaaan!” Audience claps. Sunil comes out of movie flying. His clothes change back to normal. He goes back on his seat. Vishakha is happy. VISHAKHA (smiling and hugging Sunil.) My hero!
Achhi picture thi na? (But she finds Sunil sleeping on his seat and calls his name twice to wake him.) Sunil? Sunil! (Sunil wakes and stands up in fighting posture.) Kya hua? Koi bura sapana dekha kya? He realizes that he was thinking about his dream. Then he stands up straight and walks. Vishakha looks confused but walks too. SUNIL Nahi. Achha sapana tha. Both walk. CUT-TO: INT. DAY - VIJAY’S APARTMENT Vijay is flirting with a girl in his room. VIJAY (touching rose to girl’s lips.) Oh Sheena! Kayi din ho gaye tumase mile. Aaj to mushkil kar dunga tumhara jina.
To kar do na darling. Maine kab kiya mana? VIJAY Achha?
SHINA Oh Vijay. I love you. VIJAY I love you too Sheena. SHINA Tum mujhase shaadi kab karoge? VIJAY Achha muhurat milate hi. SHINA Oh Vijay. Tum har cheez ka kitana khayal rakhate ho. VIJAY Tumhare liye to main apani jaan bhi de sakata hu meri jaan! Vijay’s phone rings. SHINA Kisaka phone hai? VIJAY Pata nahi darling. Dekhata hoon. (answers phone.) Hello? Oh! Ok. Bye. (to Sheena.) Sheena. Mujhe ek urgent kaam se bahar jana padega. SHINA Ok darling. Phir kab miloge? VIJAY (escorting her out.) Jaldi hi. Ab jaao. Bye.
Bye Vijay. (throwing a kiss) I love you. A car stops outside Vijay’s home. Another girl walks in. Vijay meets her at gate. VIJAY Hi Riya.
Hi Vijay.
Kahan the itane din? VIJAY Busy tha love. RIYA Ok. Chalo kahin bahar chalate hain. VIJAY Chalo.
VIJAY Shayad mere dad honge. Mere kehane tak yahan se bahar nahi aana. RIYA Ok. Come back soon. It’s Rita at door. VIJAY Hey Rita! Kaisi ho tum? RITA Perfect. Tum kaise ho? VIJAY (smiles.) Ab thik hoon.
(smiling back.) Andar chale?
Haan chalo. Both are in swimming pool. Romantic BG music plays. Riya is still in jaccuzi. She is looking at her watch. One more car comes and stops outside Vijay's home. A girl named Meena walks out from car and goes in Vijay's home. Security is seated near the gate. MEENA (to security.) Kya Vijay ghar par hai?
Pichhale kuchh dino se main dekh raha hoon ki hamari team aape se bahar hoti ja rahi hai. Kisi ko hamari kadar hi nahi hai aur na hi is khel ki hai isaliye aaj hum team me thode badalav lana chahate hain. (Looking at team and taunting.) Aur main apane badalav ki nahi team ke badalav ki baat kar raha hu. Aayi baat badal me? Mera matalab hai samajh me? Players look down in shame. Coach’s last line reminds them of the incident on playground when they told him about changing him and dropped catches which he gave them. The memory plays in their minds. They see themselves dropping the catches and jumping back far with the sound. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! Players come back to the present time with a shudder. COACH Ab hamare manager aap se kuchh kahenge. Inhe dhyan se suniye. MANAGER Thank you Mr Singh. (to team.) Team ka kharab khel dhyan me rakhate hue humane kuchh kathin faisale kiye hain. In par hume board ke sabhi members aur coach ki anumati mil chuki hai. Aasha hai humare players bhi vyaktigat dhaaranao ko kam mahatv dekar humare sujhavo ko sahemati denge. (looking at Sanjit.) Sanjit? (Sanjit is playing with paperweight and tosses it in panic. Sunil catches it and hits papers while doing it. Papers go flying off table. Others pick them up.) MANAGER Practice phir kabhi me karenge Sanjit. Pahele meeting karate hain. SANJIT I’m sorry sir. MANAGER (to everybody.) Aane wale kuchh din shayad aap ke liye thode mushkil honge. Aap sab ko thodi dhiraj se kaam lena hoga. Is baar humane jo plan banaya hai aisa plan aaj tak kisi bhi team ne socha nahi hoga. Aur ise thik se sikh le to koi bhi team hume hara nahi sakati. (all clap.) Shant ho jaiye. Ab main taliya tab sunana chahunga jab hum jit jaye. (All clap again. Manager shouts.) Shanti rakhiye! (all stop clapping.) Humane faisala kiya hai ki aaj se lekar world cup ke aakhari game tak hum kuchh niyamo ka palan karenge. Niyamo ka ullanghan karane walo ko dandit kiya jayega aur zarurat padane par team se bahar bhi kiya ja sakata hai. Is plan ko maan kar chalate hue aap sab ko apani galati sahi karane ke liye sirf ek mauka diya jayega. Ab main aap ko hamara plan sunata hoon. (manager sees Vijay sleeping and wakes him.) Vijay! (Vijay wakes up.) Jaisa ki main kahe raha tha hume har dum (Looking at Vijay) jagate rahena hoga. (Vijay rubs eyes.) Aakhe khuli aur muh band rakh kar game ki aur dhyan diya karo nahi to hath aur aankh dono hi malate reh jaoge. (Sees Anil talking to Vijay and slams wiper on table.) Sirf baato se kuchh bhi nahi hone wala hai. Hume har dum chaukanna rahena hoga. Dushman team ki har chaal par nazar rakhani hogi.
(to Vijay.) Aur jab woh utha tab usaki pant gond me hi reh gayi. Charrrrrrrrrrr! Kali chaddi saaf nazar aa rahi thi. (Both laugh. Everyone is listening to their joke. Both realize that the room has turned silent.)
(dumbstruck looking at the people.) Maine ek film me dekha tha. Sach. Film ka naam hai Khel Khel Me.
(upset about the ruckus.) Kya ho raha hai wahan par? Hum yahan itani zaruri baat kar rahe hain aur aap logo ko mazak suj raha hai. Agar shanti se sun nahi sakate to bahar chale jao. Ab maine koi bhi bekar ki baat suni to tumhe maidan ke bees chakkar lagane honge. (everybody pays attention. Manager turns to coach.) Mr Singh, aisa agali baar nahi hona chahiye. (coach nods with shame. Manager turns to the others.) Isase pahele ki koi aur khana-kharabi ho hum niyamo ki aur baddhate hain. (giving some files to Singh.) Mr Singh. Inako niyam samajha dijiye.
Ok sir. (coach opens file and reads first page.) MANAGER (to players.) In niyamo par gaur kijiye. Baad me nahi kahena ki hume bina vajah team se bahar kar diya gaya hai. (to coach) Mr Singh kya maine thik kaha?
Sir aap ne bilakul thik kaha. (to team) Sun liya aap sab ne? Aap ki bewakufi ka bima karawa lijiye. Isaka bhugatan aap ko hi karana padega. Management isake liye zimmedar nahi hoga. SANJIT Haan coach. Hum niyamo ka bilakul lalan-palan karenge. Game me to kya hum to game ke bahar bhi niyamo ka paalan karenge lekin bataiye to yeh niyam aakhir hai kya? Sunil decides to answer Sanjit’s question. SUNIL (to Sanjit.) Yahi ki har roz wakt par practice kiya karo.
(bored.)
Zyada party nahi kiya karo. Anil speaks too. ANIL (bored.)
Aur yehi ki achha score karo. Zyada wickets lo. COACH Sari zaruri bate yaad hai aap logo ko magar thode aur niyam janana zaruri hain jo main aap...(Sunil cuts in.) SUNIL (looking away from coach’s half-open mouth and speaking fast.) Achhi batting karana. Achhi bowling karana.
(leaving coach gasping for breath.) Aur achhi fielding karana. (Coach tries talking again but is interrupted by Vijay.)
Aur yehi na (Coach stares at him. Vijay ignores coach.) ki sari training yaad rakhana? SANJIT (Fast, before coach can start.) Hum saare niyam samajh gaye hain coach. Ab hum chale? (Players start walking.)
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